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2,000 (delusional) ladies were asked what qualities they want in their “perfect man.” And here he is:

1.Six feet tall
2.Toned and athletic
3.Brown eyes
4.Short dark hair
5.Smart dress sense
6.Beer drinker
7.Non-smoker
8.Wears smart jeans, shirt and a V-neck jumper
9.Gets ready in 17 minutes
10.Stylish
11.Wants a family
12.Earns $77,000 a year
13.Loves shopping
14.Eats meat
15.Clean shaven
16.Smooth chest
17.Watches soaps
18.Enjoys watching football
19.Drives an Audi
20.Educated to degree level
21.Earns more than his other half
22.Jokes around and has a laugh
23.Sensitive when his wife/girlfriend is upset
24.Says ‘I love you’ only when he means it
25.Admits it when he looks at other women
26.Has a driver’s license
27.Can swim
28.Can ride a bike
29.Can change a tire
30.Calls mom regularly

Well, I’m only half perfect. I score 15 out of the 30. I challenge you to find any man who meets the criteria to #17. Perhaps that’s listed by design, to prove no man is truly perfect.  Afterall, how do we make $77000/year AND watch daytime soaps?

Stay tuned for the 30 things that make the ‘perfect woman’ as determined by listeners of the Vince N’ Rosie Show on Rock 106.

Many people find it interesting getting inside the head of a murderer. If you are one of them, here is your access to the Greyhound Bus Killer, Vince Li.

The mental health board recently ruled Li can take supervised trips into Selkirk which now has put the small Manitoba community in fear.

Chris Summerville, CEO of the Schizophrenia Society of Canada, says that fear is unwarranted. Here are excerpts of Summerville’s interviewed with Vince Li.

When did you begin to experience schizophrenia?
In 2004. I didn’t know what it was. I now know what it is. I began to hear voices that normal people do not hear. I thought I heard the voice of God telling me to write down my journey. The voice told me that I was the third story of the Bible. That I was like the second coming of Jesus. I was to save people from a space alien attack. That is why I travelled around the country. I am not sure of all the places I went to. I now know that it was schizophrenia I was suffering from.

Why did you do what you did on the bus?
I bought a knife at Canadian Tire. I bought it for any emergency for the journey to protect myself from the aliens. I was really scared. I remember cutting off his head. I believed he was an alien. The voices told me to kill him. That he would kill me or others. I do not believe this now. It was totally wrong. It was my fault. I sinned. But it was the schizophrenia.

How does it make you feel that most people do not think you should get a pass to walk around in Selkirk? Do you understand their fear?
I understand people are scared because of my behaviour on the Greyhound bus. I am not at risk for anybody. I don’t believe in aliens. I don’t hear voices. I would call my doctor if I heard voices again. Yes, I understand their fear.

Some say the RCMP should have killed you that night?
I should have been killed at that time. I still believe that. But I am thankful that the RCMP didn’t.

How do you feel about what you are reading in the newspapers?
I don’t read the papers because I don’t want to be reminded of what happened on the Greyhound bus because it was so bad and wrong.

Are you happy?
No.

Will you ever be happy?
No. I can never forget the Greyhound bus.

Any final words?
I would like to say to Tim McLean’s mother I am sorry for killing your son. I am sorry for the pain I have caused. I wished I could reduce that pain.

Want free music? You can have all of mine.

Thursday, April 19th, 2012

Here is why me owning a phone is good news for you:

While I’ve been referred to as “the 20th Century Man” on the show many of times, my transformation into the 21st century continues. For the first time ever, I now have a cell phone. Not just any cell phone, mind you – a BlackBerry.

Why is that good for you? I’ll tell you, since I asked.

If you own a BlackBerry, go to BlackBerry App World and download the BBM Music App.

Step 2: become my BBM Music friend by punching in my PIN# 296447C6. When I accept your friend request you will instantly have free access to 50 songs from my music library. Am I a nice guy, or what? Of course, I will have free access to 50 of your songs as well so it’s not like I’m getting nothing in return.

Every new BBM Music friend you add, you obtain free access to 50 of their songs. You can amass a mega-music collection with the ease of pressing a few buttons.

Yes, that IS awesome. So, go ahead. Become my BBM Music friend today and share my playlist.

Make sure you add Rosie as a BBM Music friend as well (PIN# 266448ED.

Vince (PIN# 296447C6)

Thanks to California’s Prop 65, the colour of Coke and Pepsi is changing to avoid the warning label of “carcinogenic” on their products.

So all they have to do is tweak the colouring of the caramel of their recipe, not the flavour itself, and voila – it’s safe?

An American watchdog group say both Coke and Pepsi areusing unsafe levels of a chemical called 4-MEI that has been linked to cancer in animals.

How much Coke/Pepsi does one need to drink to get cancer? According to the FDA, the drinks are safe because “a
“consumer would have to consume well over a thousand cans of soda a day to reach the doses administered in the studies that have shown links to cancer in rodents.”

Great news for humans; bad new for the rodents who were apparently force-fed 1000s of cans of Coke in a day.

I just want to know, what colour my Coke is going to be? Will it just be less brown? I say make it Polar Bear white to match their mascot.

Someone named their kid Moo. For real.

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

It’s my favorite news release of the year from the Government of Alberta: baby names.

The most popular names in 2011 include Olivia and Liam, but the best part of the list are the unique names parents try to label their newborns. In fact, two kids were named Unique which ironically makes them both non-unique.

A lot Alberta parents showed pride for the military by naming their boys Pistol, Tank and *Trooper. (*awesome name if it’s actually referencing the Iron Maiden song).

Another kid was named Stiff.

As for girls, someone thought, “Let’s drop the letter n from Megan,” and thus, Mega was born. At least she wasn’t called Tuba, but someone else sadly was.

Tuba – because Saxophone and Trombone would have been ridiculous.

But the award for worst name of 2011 in Alberta goes to the parents that branded their son Moo.

Thank you to the Service Alberta Minister Manmeet Bhullar who provided this list. We look forward to the 2012 edition.

He reached 200 regular season wins faster than any other NHL coach. He would add 1 more to his totals before being fired by the Washington Capitals. Bruce Boudreau wasn’t unemployed for long, however. Less than 72 hours later he found himself on the opposite coast inking a new gig with Anaheim. He didn’t even get a chance to enjoy a weekend with his family. That is another NHL record for shortest unemployment stint for a fired coach.

Just a half-dozen others can brag about coaching 2 teams in 1 season. And they are:

2006-07 KEN HITCHCOCK PHI, CBJ
Days between jobs: 1 month

2002-03 BOB HARTLEY COL, ATL
Days between jobs: 1 month

2002-03 DARRYL SUTTER SJS, CGY
Days between jobs: 1 month

1986-87 TED SATOR NYR, BUF
Days between jobs: 1 month

1983-84 ROGER NEILSON VAN, LAK
Days between jobs: 15 days

1971-72 FRED GLOVER CAL, LAK
Days between jobs: 17 days
*Note: the “CAL” stands for the old California Golden Seals. Few memories of that team, other than they used to wear white skates.

And the LEAST safest smartphone is…

Thursday, November 24th, 2011

Does your smartphone appear on this list?
1. Samsung Galaxy Mini
2. HTC Desire
3. Sony Ericsson Xperia X10
4. Sanyo Zio
5. HTC Wildfire
6. Samsung Epic 4G
7. LG Optimus S
8. Samsung Galaxy S
9. Motorola Droid X
10. LG Optimus One
11. Motorola Droid 2
12. HTC Evo 4
Those are the least safe smartphones you can find.
If you’re asking, “did researchers only study Android phones?” Nope. Androids are just that bad and the popular operating system (OS) is to blame.
Remember pulling that Android phone fresh out of the box? Bad news: your software may have already 300 days old. Out-of-date versions of OS leaves your personal and business data accessible to hackers.
The reason no iPhone appears on the above list is Apple’s ability to push software updates to all of its mobile devices simultaneously. They detect vulnerabilities and quickly correct them.
Of the top three Android manufacturers–Samsung is the worst offender by far, then HTC, then Motorola.

My phone is the safest of them all; it’s attached to a wall.

Lethbridge East MLA Bridget Pastoor did what is considered by many to be political betrayal.  Bridget is no longer a Liberal after “crossing the floor” to join the rival Tories. 

Bridget insists it’s the right thing to do - she’s doing it for her constituents.  Her constituents aren’t ready to thank her yet.

Rock listener Brent Poole says, “She got elected with a liberal set of values behind her.  Didn’t she used to be a nurse? Now she’s with a party that want’s to gut out the system and replace it with a for profit setup.”

Some will argue it’s more difficult, nearly impossible even, to achieve goals from the opposition position.  When you’re surrounded by that many Tories in the legislature, yes, of course that’s true.  But is jumping ship the answer?

Another Rock listener, K.E.McIntosh was more empathetic and perhaps optimistic: “ I think it’s the only valid move for Liberals beyond her. Their leader is a conservative whereas (Prem. Alison) Redford is likely the most left the Tories will ever have in leadership.”

When dealing with the devil, to get something you have to give something up.  For your new political power, do you not have to surrender the general ideologies that got you elected in the first place?  Are the Tories suddenly interested in helping you achieve your Liberal-branded goals?  Doubtful. 

A 3rd Rock 106 listener, Ralph, declared that Bridget Pastoor was, “throwing democracy in the face of the people.  It’s unacceptable.  It goes against what the intent to vote is all about.”

So, is this political betrayal?  Ultimately, Bridget Pastoor’s actions will be the answer.  If she delivers on the promises that got her elected, does it matter what political flag she’s waving while doing it?

It’s a lot of trust to ask of consituents.  Too much, perhaps.

-Vince-

When Halloween Kids Revolt

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

Hell hath no fury like a kid in costume scorned.

A dude in Oshawa, Ontario elected not to hand out candy this Halloween which prompted a letter from the kids in the hood expressing their displeasure.

Clearly parental editing was involved.

But the story doesn’t end there. Then came the retort via kijiji:

“Dear Children of Entitlement (and likely their parents), you have gone ahead and reminded me of why I do not want children and why I weep for the future.”

Good for him.

I for one enjoy Halloween: the costumes, decorations and the goodies. However, where is it written that every homeowner needs to be home, stocked with junk food.

Participation in Halloween is voluntary, not compulsary. You have the freedom to dress up. Others have the freedom to not dress up. You have the freedom to go door to door begging for candy. Others have the freedom to deactivate their doorbell and hide in the den. Neither action is wrong. There’s no need to ridicule those who participate and there’s no need to harass those who opt out.

Same goes for another tradition soon approaching: Christmas.

Listen. I celebrate Christmas. I’m not offended if you don’t so don’t be offended by those of us who do.

I guess what I’m trying to say is… check yourself; before you wreck yourself.

Good-bye Beaver?

Friday, October 28th, 2011

The beaver is a “19th century has-been” and a “dentally defective rat.”  Those hateful words are from Conservative Senator Nicole Eaton. 

To Nicole Eaton the beaver is no good. 

Nicole Eaton wants the polar bear to replace the beaver as an official emblem of Canada.

She says the polar bear is Canada’s “most majestic and splendid mammal” and is an appropriate symbol for modern-day Canada.

Eaton.  The beaver.  Who do you support?

Upon hearing this story on the Vince N’ Rosie show, Ian Van Seters immediately emailed:

Laughing my ass off about the “Senator” who wants to get rid of the beaver…

What the hell does it matter what a “Senator” wants anyway?  They are nobody.  We all know the Senate is where political appointees go to die, and that’s exactly what will happen to this “issue”.  Dead on the table at the senate.

Clearly, Ian loves the beaver.  So do I.  So do you, I know it. 

No disrespect to the mighty polar bear but they’re already the mascot for Coca-cola.  

What this story is really communicating is that every other issue with our country as been resolved and we can now focus solely on debating our mascot.

Sorry, Nicole Eaton the beaver is good.