Archive for the ‘Ridiculous’ Category
Monday, August 30th, 2010
Welcome back students and school zones!
Today on the show we spoke about Rosie “needing” to buy 50 pencils for his daughter Paige. It was on the “list.”
To this day i still recall “needing” 7 different types of erasers for grade 2. SEVEN. I suppose it was the first year we started working with pen’s so we needed an 2 ink erasers, 3 for pencils (which confused me since pencils came with erasers on them) and 2 others that I can’t ever recall what their use was for.
On day 1 of school, when the teacher - a lovely Oriental woman named Mrs. Kim – saw them lined up on my desk she said, “Why so many eraser? You make lotta mistake?”
Being a perfectionist at heart, clearly this traumatized me until two days later when I proved to her (by acing a pop-quiz) that no, I don’t make a lot of mistakes (at least back then I didn’t). After that, we got along famously and to this day I remember her as one of my favorite teachers ever.
Take warning though, teachers; if I happened to have even gotten a B on that pop quiz, I would have forever been convinced that yes, I guess I do make a lot of mistakes and am therefore a horrible student who would mostly likely drop out by grade 6. Your students are fragile; treat ‘em with care… unless they egg or t.p. your car.
Tuesday, September 9th, 2008
It was announced that myself and Rosie are seeking office. We would like to be your next Prime Ministers. Yes, simultaneously. That way we only have to work half the time. And we want to take turns living at 24 Sussex Drive. It would like having a time-share on the property.
To be honest, we haven’t really nailed down a platform for the campaign. We figure it’s more important to find the right theme song for the campaign first then the rest will just fall into place. So if you have any suggestions for not just a good campaign song but a GREAT one, then click the headline above or phone us up during the show (5:30-9am). We will announce the winner selection on the next show.
If you’re really creative and you want to make a logo for our party then we would forever be greatful and would easily give you all the perks possible should we get into office. We are the Independant Party of Vincent & Rosie.
Thank you for your support. As a token of appreciation, here is the link to watching the brother Noel of Oasis getting popped off stage.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to see comedian DJ Hazard at the Blarney Stone. Show time is 9pm.
Thursday, September 4th, 2008
Today on the show we proudly launched a new program called the Vince-and-Rosie-Make-A-Wish-Corporation-of-Institutions. While it may appear to be a branch of the Make-A-Wish-Foundation, it is in fact soley independent. The Foundation has a history of granting astonishes wishes for people. Rosie and I unfortunately don’t have that kind of clout but any business or program has to start small and build itself bigger.
So today was day 1. We granted a wish for Pam who really wanted to be a guest cohost on the morning show. Mission accomplished! She had fun and nobody got hurt which surprised me because Pam lives on the North side so she was obviously packing at the very least a knife if not some kind of pistol.
Now it can be your turn. Wish for whatever you want. If you accept that we have limitations than we’ll accept your request. Why wish upon a star when you can wish upon two of them – the Vince and Rosie Make A Wish Corporation of Institutions. Note: the word ‘stars’ to describe myself and Rosie was used more for cleverness than for accuracy.
Make a wish and we will make it come true (maybe). Don’t be shy. Make your wish one of two ways. Either email Vince.firstname.lastname@example.org or call 403-327-7999 between 5:30-9am Mon-Fri to speak with the CEO of the Corporation of Institutions (which is me) or my secretary (which is Rosie). All we need is your name, your phone number and your wish. At the Vince and Rosie Make A Wish Corporation of Institutions our slogan is “We WILL make it happen, maybe.”