Archive for the ‘Humour’ Category
Forget the Groundhog… Meet the NEW Weather Prognaticator
Thursday, December 27th, 2007
Has your boss ever joked that a monkey could do your job? Turns out meteoroligists can be replaced by, not monkeys, pigs. Rather, pig intestines.
According to a very old (and wise) man in North Dakota, you can predict what the weather will be by consulting pig spleens.
This guy guts the pig and stares at the brown, glistening, foot-long organs on his kitchen counter to come up with his prediction.
If the spleen is wide where it attaches to the pig’s stomach and then narrows, it means winter weather will come early with a mild spring. A narrow-to-wider spleen usually means harsh weather in the spring. According to the pig spleen prognasticator, “The spleens are 85% correct.”
Not bad. If you consider that meteorologists seem to be about 15% right, they are 100% correct between the two of them.
For 2008, the pig spleens predict, “a normal year with no major storms. That’s what the spleens tell me.”
Bonus code today is “Pig Spleen”
Enjoy.
Vincent
Things A Man Should NEVER Do After 30
Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
Things a man should never do after the age of 30. A list was published by Esquire magazine and we felt it wasn’t quite complete so we asked Rock 106 listeners to add other suggestions.
THINGS A MAN SHOULD NEVER DO AFTER 30
Watch wrestling.
Coin your own nickname.
Use a wallet that is fastened with Velcro. (No CHAINWALLETS either)
Rank your friends in order of best, second best, and so on.
Hacky sack.
Hang art with tape.
Ask a policeman, “You ever shoot anybody with that thing?”
Take a camera to a nude beach.
Let your father do his taxes. (Unless he’s an accountant and gives you a discount)
Tap on the glass.
Shout out a response to “Are you ready to rock?”
Use the word “collated” on his resume.
Hold a weekly house meeting with roommates.
Name pets after Middle Earth characters from Lord of the Rings.
Jokingly flash gang signs while posing for wedding photos.
Hug amusement-park characters or mascots.
Wear Disney-themed neckties.
Choose 69 as your jersey number.
Eat Oreo cookies in stages.
Propose via stadium Jumbotron.
Call “shotgun” before getting in a car.
Buy a novelty postcard in another country of topless women on a beach and write “Wish you were here” on it.
Keg stands.
Put less than ten dollars’ worth of gas in the tank.
Live with your parents.
Wear baggy pants and have your underwear showing.
Have a ponytail.
Have a mullet.
Date highschool students (actually, stop that at the age of 20).
Wear a ball cap backwards.
Wear a ball cap sideways (again, quit at age 20).
Sleep past noon.
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Bonus code for you today is CHAINWALLETS
Vincent
