It might be the most cringeworthy few seconds in TV history! Kathie Lee Gifford asked Martin Short how his wife is doing. One small problem … she died 2 years ago! Check out the video….it’s makes you squirm a bit. But through all of this, Martin Short show’s his class as a Canadian.

Special thanks to everyone at The Episode for coming down to Q92′s Rock Band Rumble. The finals were truly an amazing Rock and Roll Show!

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Alain for today’s Last Laff…

A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn’t get enough lovin’. In the morning, before Homer left for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn’t getting enough work done. So Homer asked the town doctor what to do.

“Homer,” said the doctor, “just take your rifle out to the field with you and when you’re in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene’s signal to come out and find you”

They tried Doc’s advice and it worked well! But then Homer came back to the doctor’s office.

“Didn’t my idea work?” asked the Doc.

“Worked real good,” said Homer. “Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Darlene’d come runnin’.

“So what’s the problem?”

“Ain’t seen her since huntin’ season started”

A young farm couple, Homer and Darlene, got married and just couldn’t get enough lovin’. In the morning, before Homer left for the fields, they made love. When Homer came back from the fields, they made love. And again at bedtime, they made love.

The problem was their nooner; it took Homer a half hour to travel home and another half hour to return to the fields and he just wasn’t getting enough work done. So Homer asked the town doctor what to do.

“Homer,” said the doctor, “just take your rifle out to the field with you and when you’re in the mood, fire off a shot into the air. That will be Darlene’s signal to come out and find you”

They tried Doc’s advice and it worked well! But then Homer came back to the doctor’s office.

“Didn’t my idea work?” asked the Doc.

“Worked real good,” said Homer. “Whenever I was in the mood, I fired off a shot like you said and Darlene’d come runnin’.

“So what’s the problem?”

“Ain’t seen her since huntin’ season started”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Patricia for today’s Last Laff…

Two little old ladies who are both widows, are talking.

“That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk to you first before I give him my answer Edna”

“Well, I’ll tell you Dorothy. He showed up at my apartment at 7pm on the dot. He was dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brought me such beautiful flowers! Then he took me downstairs, and what’s there but a luxury car… a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all! Then he takes me out for a marvelous dinner… lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we went to see a show. I enjoyed it so much I could have just died right then and there. Then on the way back to my apartment he turned into an ANIMAL. Went crazy, tore off my expensive brand new dress and had his way with me twice!

“Goodness gracious Edna! So you’re saying I shouldn’t go out with him?”

“NO! Just wear an old dress”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Jose for today’s Last Laff…

Steven Harper was touring the countryside in his chauffeur-driven limo. Suddenly, a donkey jumped out onto the road! They hit it full on and the car stopped.

Harper said to the chauffeur, “You get out and check the donkey …. you were driving.”

So the chauffeur gets out, checks and reports that the animal is dead. “You were driving” says Harper. “Go and tell the farmer what happened”

Hours later, the chauffeur returns. He’s hammered and looks a mess…but he’s got a big smile on his face.

“Good god man, what happened to you?” asked the Prime Minister.

“Well sir, the farmer opened his best bottle of whiskey, and his wife made love to me”

“How is that possible?”

“It was easy, when they answered the door I said …Hello, I’m Steven Harper’s chauffeur and I’ve just killed the jackass”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Bill for today’s Last Laff…

Earl and George are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco, and drinking beer.

Suddenly George breaks the silence. “Think I’m gonna divorce the wife. She ain’t spoke to me in over two months.”

Earl spits some tobacco juice into the water. Then he takes a long, slow sip of beer. “Better think it over George. Women like that are hard to find”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Lori for today’s Last Laff…

A businessman was in town for a night and met a beautiful girl. They agreed on a price of $500, but after the deed was done he said he didn’t have any cash on him but would send a cheque with the notation “rent for apartment.”

On the trip back home he got a case of the guilt’s, and to make himself feel better he had his secretary send a check for only half of the amount, $250, and the following note.

Dear Madam:
Enclosed is $250 for rent of your apartment which is less than the agreed amount. When I rented the place, I was under the impression that it had never been occupied, there was plenty of heat, and it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home…which it definitely wasn’t.

When the girl opened the letter, she sent the cheque back with another note.

Dear Sir:
A beautiful apartment can’t remain unoccupied indefinitely, there’s plenty of heat if you know how to turn it on, and the apartment is regular size…you just don’t have enough furniture to fill it. Please send the rent in full or we’ll be forced to contact your present landlady.

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

[soundcloud url="http://soundcloud.com/q92-rocks/friday-may-18-last-laugh"]

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Kathy for today’s Last Laff…

A man went to visit his grandparents, and when he got there he found his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt! Nothing on from the waist down.

“Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie’s out in the wind for everybody to see!”

The old man looked off in the distance without answering.

“Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here with nothing on below the waist?”

Slowly the old man looked at him. “Last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. This is your grandma’s idea.”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Mike for today’s Last Laff…

An elderly man down in Louisiana owned a big farm that had a large pond out back. It was dug out for swimming with picnic tables and horseshoes and had some apple and peach trees around it.

One evening the old farmer had a walk down to the pond to check things out and pick some fruit…so he brought a 5 gallon pail with him.

He could hear voices laughing and shouting as he got close, and peeked around some trees to see a bunch of pretty young girls skinny-dipping in his pond.

He cleared his throat before stepping out of the trees and the girls all swam over to the deep end. One of the girls shouted “we’re not coming out until you leave!”

The old farmer frowned. “Just cuz you’re swimmin’ in my private pond don’t mean I have any interest in watching you swim naked, or get out of my pond naked”. He held up the 5 gallon pail. “I just came down to feed the alligator…”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Leo for today’s Last Laff…

Two buddies, Fred and Jerry, were getting very drunk at the bar. Suddenly, Jerry threw up all over himself. “Oh Gawd…my wife’s gonna kill me.”

Fred pats him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, pal. I gotcher back. Just tuck a twenty in your shirt pocket and tell your wife that somebody threw up on you and gave you 20 to cover the dry cleaning bill.”
Jerry thought that sounded pretty smart so he ordered 2 beers for his friend, and two more for himself. They got even drunker over the next few hours…

Eventually Jerry stumbled in the front door. His wife was all over him. “You stink of beer and look at you. You puked all over yourself! You’re disgusting”

Speaking slowly and carefully, Jerry said “now hanngg out a second. I kin ‘splain. I had a cuple of drunks and this other guy was sick all over me on my shirt. But look at this!” He pulled the crumpled money from his pocket. “He said he’s was reeely sorry an’ gave me twenties bucks for the cleanup bill!”

“Nice try. That’s forty bucks you got there” “I almoss fergot. He also pooped in my pants”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com