Archive for November, 2011
Wednesday’s Last Laugh
Wednesday, November 30th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Judy for today’s Last Laff…
A man goes into the public bathroom for a squirt. He parks in front of one of the urinals and proceeds to unload. Beside him at the next urinal……is a rather large man.
For absolutely no reason, the fat guy says “I haven’t seen my penis in 15 years”
Not knowing what to say to this complete stranger…the first guy suggested “Why don’t you diet?”
“Dye it?!? Oh my GOD!! What color is it now?”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Tuesday’s Last Laugh
Tuesday, November 29th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Judy for today’s Last Laff…
The doctor finished the examination and asked the man what he did yesterday.
“It was pretty hectic. I waded across the edge of a lake, escaped from a bear in the heavy brush, marched up and down hills and valleys, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of mud, sand and creeks, and nearly got bit by a Muskie”.
The doctor was inspired. “Well, you must be an awesome outdoors-man then!”
“Nope, just a lousy golfer.”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Stephen for today’s Last Laff…
The Pastor stood in front of his congregation and told them that the church needed some extra money…and asked them to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. And being a former radio guy, he made it into a contest. The one who gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the Pastor saw that someone had put in a $1,000 bill. He looked over his people and said that he would personally like to acknowledge and thank whoever had offered so much.
A very quiet, elderly lady all the way in the back slowly rose and shuffled to the front. He thanked her for giving so much to the church and asked her to pick out three hymns.
Through her big glasses she gazed out over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men and said, “I’ll take him and him and him!”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Friday Last Laugh
Friday, November 18th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Judy for today’s Last Laff…
You know drugs have two names…the complicated name doctor’s use, and the one we use to order them… Advil is also called Ibuprofen?
They’ve been working on the complicated name for the drug Viagra. The government experts who are responsible for determining the name are now down to three ideas. Mydixarisin, Mydixadrupin…and Ibepokin.
Also, the company that produces Viagra announced it will soon be available in liquid form. Pepsi Cola is leading the charge on this new product with a new marketing campaign. The drink will be called “Mount and Do”…and the slogan “pour yourself a stiff drink”.
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Tuesday’s Last Laff…
Tuesday, November 15th, 2011
A farmer lived all alone working the land his whole life…his only friend was his dog Marty. He loved that dog and did everything for him. But finally the dog died, so the farmer went to the parish priest.
“Father, my dear old dog Marty is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the poor creature?”
Father Patrick said “I’m very sorry to hear about your dog’s death…but we can’t have services for an animal in the church. However, there’s a new denomination that just started down the road. There’ s no telling what they believe…but maybe they’d do something for him”
“Thank you Father. Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?”
“$500! Why didn’t you tell me Marty was Catholic?!”
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Now that’s funny! If you have a great joke you’d like us to use onthe air, send it to me and I’ll pass it along to J. Austen Healey for Terry and Mell’s Last Laff!
Monday’s Last Laugh
Monday, November 14th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Kathy for today’s Last Laff…
A Missionary was about to complete his tour of duty, having lived with natives in the jungle for years. The only thing he hadn’t had time for was to teach them English. So he invited the Chief out for a walk.
He pointed to a tree and said to the chief, “This is a Tree”
The chief grunted “Tree.”
The Missionary pointed to a rock. “This is a Rock.”
The chief grunted “Rock.”
The Missionary was really excited about how fast the Chief was learning. They heard rustling in the bushes and they peered over to see. A couple of the natives were right in the middle of some extracurricular activities and really going at it.
The Missionary thought quickly and said to the Chief, “This is a man riding a bike”
The Chief pulled out his blowdarts and killed them both in a second.
“Why did you do that?” yelled the Priest. “For years I’ve taught you how to be civilized and kind to each other!”
The chief grunted… “My Bike”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Friday’s Last Laugh
Friday, November 11th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Carol for today’s Last Laff…
A gynecologist had become fed up with all the medical paperwork and malpractice insurance, so he decided to look for another career that would appreciate his skills.
He went to the local technical college and signed up for a course. He worked hard at it…learning as much as he could.
When exam time came around he prepared for weeks and felt he did really well.
He got his mark back…and was surprised to see he’d gotten 150%. He didn’t want to appear ungrateful so he went to the instructor and asked if there was a mistake.
The instructor explained that he’d done perfectly taking the engine apart, which was worth 50% of the mark. He’d also put the engine back together expertly which was worth the other 50%. The fact that he’d done it all through the muffler got him the bonus marks.
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Thursday’s Last Laugh
Thursday, November 10th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Pierre for today’s Last Laff…
Paddy was working at the fish plant in Ireland when he accidentally cut off all 10 of his fingers.
He went to the emergency room in the local hospital.
The doctor looked at Paddy’s hands and said, ‘Lets be avin’ da fingers and I’ll see what oi can do’.
Paddy said, ‘Oi ain’t got da fingers.’
‘Whadda ya mean you ain’t got da fingers? HOLY MOSES Paddy!!!!!….. it’s 2011! We’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn’t ya bring da fingers?!?’
“How da heck was I ‘spose to pick them up, eh?!!!”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Wednesday’s Last Laugh
Wednesday, November 9th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Brian for today’s Last Laff…
Sid and Barney want to get one more golf game in before it snows…so they agree to play just 9 holes. Sid says “let’s make it worthwhile Barney, how about lowest score wins $5”
They have a great game and after 8 holes Barney is ahead by 1 stroke. He slices his drive on the 9th into the rough.
“Help me find my ball Sid, you look over there”. After 5 minutes they haven’t found it and since a lost ball carries a 2 stroke penalty, Barney pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it onto the ground. “I found my ball!”
Sid shakes his head. “You know Barney, all the years we’ve been friends…you’d cheat me for a measly five bucks?!?”
“What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!”
“And a liar too! I’ve been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
Tuesday’s Last Laugh
Tuesday, November 8th, 2011
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Bob for today’s Last Laff…
Two Nuns were picking up some things for the convent… “Oh Sister, wouldn’t a nice cold beer taste heavenly on a hot summer night?”
“Indeed it would Sister, but I’m not comfortable buying beer as it would cause quite a commotion”
“Not a problem, let me handle it”. And the first Nun walked into the Beer Store, grabbed a 6 pack, and headed for the checkout.
The cashier looked a little surprised, so the nun said “We use beer for washing our hair. At the convent we refer to it as Catholic Shampoo”
The cashier reached under the counter and tossed a bag of pretzels on the counter. “Well in that case, the curlers are on the house”.
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…