Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Carol for today’s Last Laff…

Two older women are having lunch and talking about the merits of plastic surgery. “Agnes, I need to tell you something…..I’m having a boob-job done”

“Oh that’s nothing Stella…everybody’s doing it! I’m thinking of having my arsehole bleached!”

“You’re kidding!! I just can’t picture Frank as a blonde!”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Barbara…from Australia…for today’s Last Laff…

The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because of their status they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads them in…

‘Grumpy my son,’ says the Pope, ‘What can I do for you today?’

‘Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?’

The Pope is caught off guard by the question, but smiles and says ‘No Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.’ Behind him, a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

‘Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe ?’

The Pope is puzzled by Grumpy’s question and thinks for a moment. ‘No Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe. This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. But the look Grumpy gives them stops them cold.

Grumpy turns back and says ‘Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?’

‘I’m sorry my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere.’ The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, tears rolling down their cheeks… ‘Grumpy shagged a penguin! Grumpy shagged a penguin!’

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.  The doctor comes in.  “Good to see you’re awake.  You probably don’t remember anything so you were in a traffic accident and you’re going to be OK.  The only problem we have is that your penis was severed and we weren’t able to find it.  Good news… you’ve been approved for a $9000 insurance payout.   And we have new technology to build a penis, but it’s expensive.  $1000 an inch”.   

The man perks up. 

“I understand you’ve been married for 25 years and this is something you should discuss with your wife.  Consider this…if you had a five-incher and you replace it with a nine-incher, it could cause some issues.  If you had a nine-incher before and you decide to replace it with a 5-incher, she might be disappointed.  I’ll leave it up to the two of you”. 

The doctor comes back the next day.  “Did you talk to your wife?”   

“Yup” 

“Were you able to agree on a decision?” 

“Absolutely.  We’re getting granite countertops.”

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That’s funny!  And you probably have a joke that’s funny too!  Send it to us cause we love to laugh…

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Kathy for today’s Last Laff…

Midterm exams were starting and the professor wasn’t putting up with any excuses….

“I want to be clear that nobody can be absent when you write your test tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack as valid, and serious personal injury. But that’s about it…no other excuses whatsoever.”
One of the smart asses at the back of the room put up his hand. “What would you say if tomorrow I told you I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?” The whole class laughed.
The professor smiled and said “then you’d just have to write the test with your other hand”.

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Judy for today’s Last Laff…

An Italian husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, and says she’ll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband. “Who was that?”

“She’s my mistress.”

“Well, that’s the last straw” says the wife. “I want a divorce!”

“I can understand that,” says her husband. “But remember, if we get a divorce it’ll mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, and no more yacht club. The decision is all yours.”

Just then, a friend of theirs comes into the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm instead of his wife.

“Who’s that woman with Tony?” sniffs the wife.

“That’s his mistress”

“Hmph. Ours is prettier”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

A man walked into the ladies department of a store and made his way to the counter.  “Um…I need to buy a bra for my wife”

“What type of bra?” the clerk asked.

“What do you mean….’type’?  O God, there’s more than one type!?””

“Look around you sir” as she pointed to a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material imaginable.

The man looked a little green so the clerk helped him out.  “There’s really only 4 types of bras to choose from.         Catholic, Salvation Army, Presbyterian, and the Baptist types.”

 The guy was totally confused.  “What’s the difference?”

“Quite simple really… The Catholic type supports the masses.
The Salvation Army type lifts the fallen,
The Presbyterian type keeps them staunch and upright, and
The Baptist makes mountains out of mole hills.

 (Guys, do you know the difference between a C, D, E, F and G cup?  C is Can’t complain.  D is Damn!!  E is Enormous.  F is fake.  And G is Get a reduction…)

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Thanks to Sandra for today’s Last Laff…if you have a joke that you think will make us laugh…send it to us… mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Drinking too much has never been a problem for any man, except in this one case…

One night after a flat of beer, a man looks at his wife & says “Your butt’s big.  I bet your butt’s bigger than our barbecue grill”.  So he actually got a measuring tape, measured the grill…and then her butt.  “See!  I was right.  Your butt’s 2 inches bigger that the grill”

Oddly, his wife just ignored him.

However later that night the husband was lookin’ for some fun and his wife brushed him off.  “Swrong with you?” he slurred.

“Do you seriously think I’m going to fire up this big ass grill for one teeny weenie!?”

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Thanks to Club Q Rock Star Kelly for today’s joke.  She gets 300 points…

If you have a joke that you think is funny, we might think it’s funny too.  Pass it along for the Last Laff to mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar James for today’s Last Laff…

A State Trooper was patrolling off the main highway. It was almost 12 midnight. He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light on. He carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Behind the wheel is a young man reading a computer magazine. In the back seat is a young woman texting on her Blackberry.

The trooper raps on the driver’s window. “Hi officer, what’s up?”

“What are you guys doing?”

“Well…I’m reading a magazine….and she’s texting” says the young man motioning toward the backseat.

The trooper can’t figure it out. A young couple alone, in a make-out spot, doing nothing?

“Son how old are you?”

“I’m 22 sir”.

“And what about her?”

The driver looks at his watch. “She’ll be 18 in eleven minutes.”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Leo for today’s Last Laff…

They’d been married for 65 years…and they hated each other. The neighbors would hear the yelling far into the night… The old man was scary. He’d shout, “When I die, I’m gonna dig my way up and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life!”

The neighbors believed he practiced black magic. And the old man liked it that he was feared. So it was quite a relief when he died of a heart attack at 98.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party like no tomorrow.

Her neighbors were concerned for her safety. “Aren’t you afraid he’s going to dig his way out of the grave?”

The widow laughed. “Let him dig. I had him buried upside down. And you know men won’t ask for directions.”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Robert for today’s Last Laff…

There was this small church down in the States that hired a new – and very big-busted – organist. Her boobs were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ, which really distracted the men in the congregation.

Not just the men…the very proper church ladies were none too impressed either. Something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist.

So, one of the ladies discreetly went to the Organist’s home and suggested she mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on her nipples. That should shrink them in size, but the lady warned her to not eat any of those green Persimmons. “They are so sour they’ll make your mouth pucker up and you won’t be able to talk properly for a week.”

The organist was grateful and said she’d try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and addressed the congregation. “Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday.”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com