Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Vinny for today’s Last Laff…

A father calls his son over. “There’s a scratch down the side of my car. Did you scratch the car?”

“I don’t believe Sir, if I understand the definition of “scratch the car”, that I can that I scratched the car.

“OK your sister said she saw you back the car against the mailbox, heard a loud scraping sound, saw you get out to examine the car, and then drive away. I’m going to ask you again son…yes or no, did you scratch the car?

“Oh, you mean you think you have evidence to prove I scratched it. I understood you to mean did “I” scratch the car. I stand by my earlier statement, that “I” did not scratch the car.

“Are you saying you didn’t drive the car into the mailbox?”

“Well, you see sir, I was trying to drive the car into the street. I mishandled the steering of the car, and it resulted in direct contact with the mailbox, though that was clearly not my intent.

“So you did hit the mailbox, and then lied to me”

“No, your question was “Did I scratch the car?” From a strictly legal definition, as I understood the meaning of that sentence, I did not scratch the car… the mailbox did….”

“Where exactly did you learn to talk like a complete idiot Son?”

“From the election coverage the other night Sir…”

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Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Judy for today’s Last Laff…

The mother of the bride has been strong all day, not crying or clingy. That is…until the actual service when she looks over at the grandparents.

Grandma has reached across to grandpa’s wheelchair and gently touched his hand.

The tears roll and after the wedding she goes over to Grandma and tells her how that tender gesture did her in.

“Sorry to ruin your moment dear” says grandma “but I was just checking to see if he was still ticking”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Janie for today’s Last Laff…

A blonde orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the blonde woman’s boobs and splashes all over them. The bartender goes over and refills her mug…and then licks the beer off.

Another guy sitting at the bar is watching this and figures he might get in on the action…so the next time the blonde orders a beer it hits her the same way and he jumps in and starts licking the beer off her. She decks him!

“Hey” says the guy picking himself up off the floor. “How come you let him do it and not me?”

The blonde points her finger at the bartender. “Cuz he’s the one with the licker license”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Rod for today’s Last Laff…

Two Newfies were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked all up one side of the street, then down the other. Then they moved to the next street…working furiously all day without resting. One man digging a hole, the other filling it in again.

A guy had been watching this go on all day and finally had to go ask. “I don’t get it — why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?”

The hole digger wiped his brow. “Well, it probably looks funny what we’re doin’ but normally we’re a 3 man team. It’s just the guy who normally plants the trees is sick today.”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Leo for today’s Last Laff…

A retired man from Moxam’s Landing saw an advertisement for a job in Sudbury and decided to apply. He drove into town and asked about the advertised “Gynecologist’s Assistant”.

The clerk pulled up the file and read, “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, apply shaving foam and carefully remove any hair, then rub on some soothing oils so they’re ready for the examination. The annual salary is $85,000 and you’ll have to go to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.”

“Why all the way to Moose Jaw? What’s out there?”

“That’s where the end of the lineup is so far…”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Sandy for today’s Last Laff…

An attorney arrived home late, after a very tough day trying to get a stay of execution. He had failed and his client would be executed at midnight. So he was feeling worn out and depressed. As soon as he walked in the door, his wife started in on him. “Look at the time” “Where have you been” “Dinner’s cold and I’m not reheating it” …on and on… He was too shattered to even fight back so he poured himself a shot of Jack and went outside to soak in the hot tub. With the bubbles going full blast, he didn’t hear the phone ringing. So his wife answered and took the message that her husband’s client, James Wright, had been granted a stay of execution after all. Wright would not be hanged tonight. As she wrote down the message, she realized what a terrible day her husband must have gone through…and she felt really bad. She went out onto the deck to give him the news and was greeted by the sight of her husband bent over drying his feet…wearing absolutely nothing. “So….” she said sheepishly… “They’re not hanging Wright tonight”

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As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote now.   Have a funny joke? E-mail us: mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com terry.callaghan@rci.rogers.com