Archive for October, 2010

Thursday’s Last Laff

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Edgar for today’s last laff…
 
John loved to buy silly inventions.  One day he comes home with a robot that’s actually a “lie detector”.   Naturally, his wife is skeptical…
 
Around 10 o’clock that night, their 11 year old son gets home…2 hours late.  “Where have you been Tommy?
 
“A bunch of us were working on an extra-credit project.”
 
The robot walks over and slaps Tommy right off his chair.
 
“Son,” said John, “this robot’s a lie detector.   Now tell us where you really were tonight.”
 
“We went to Bobby’s house and watched the movie “The Ten Commandments”.
 
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him hard enough to knock him off his chair.
 
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up.  “I’m sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen.”
 
“Well I’m ashamed”, said John. “When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.”
 
The robot walks over to John and delivered a whack that knocked HIM off his chair . . .
 
His wife doubled over in laughter.  “Like father…like son…”
 
…and the robot knocked her right out the front door…
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points, plus just for voting you have a chance to win a Large Tombstone Pizza from Topper’s Pizza!  Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Bento Meals…For Halloween?

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

There was always that house on the block, who gave out apples, or oranges…or the dreaded raisins.  Nowadays kids have to worry about even worse.  Take for example one blog which suggests a “fun little Halloween witch-themed snack bento”
 
bento.jpg
 
Their words…not mine.
 
According to the creator, you can make the little broomsticks with a fruit roll-up cut into strips and wrapped around a pretzel stick.  The witches are just green grapes, and then some deli meat rolled up to round it out.
 
Ok, as an adult I’ll admit some of us may think it looks and sounds kind of neat…but if you listen to that 8 year old kid inside we have inside us all, you’ll hear the same thing the real 8 years olds will be saying when this is dropped into their bags:
 
“What ever happened to Peanut Butter Cups?”

Wednesday’s Last Laff

Wednesday, October 20th, 2010

Three guys are sitting at the pearly gates waiting to get into heaven.   St. Peter comes out and says “sorry guys but we’re really full right now…I only have room for one so tell me how you died and the best story will win”
 
First guy says “I come home from work early, my wife’s sitting naked on the bed, and there are some other man’s clothes on the floor. I search the house high and low and can’t find the bastard, but I know he’s still there.  I go out on the balcony and I can see the guy’s hands…he’s hanging from the edge!  So I grab a golf club and whack  his hands until he falls onto the sidewalk. But, he’s still alive. So I go back inside and push the freezer off the balcony onto him.  But the cord wraps around my leg, pulls me over the side and kills me.”
 
Saint Peter’s pretty impressed.
 
The second guy says “okay…I’m on my balcony naked watering my hanging plants and lose my balance and nearly fall off.  Luckily I manage to grab onto the balcony above mine and I’m hanging on for dear life.  Suddenly some crazy person above me starts beating on my hands with a golf club.  I fall three stories and break my back on the sidewalk and then the same guy pushes his freezer off his balcony. The freezer lands on me, I’m dead”
 
Saint Peter says “wow, that’s one heck of story.  #3, I don’t know how you’ll be able to top that one!”
 
The third guy starts… “well…I’m naked, hiding in a freezer…”
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points, plus just for voting you have a chance to win a Large Tombstone Pizza from Topper’s Pizza!  Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Air Drumming Just Like The Rest Of Us!

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

Rush has always said their audience is full of musicians…
 
Still you generally don’t expect to see a rocker sitting in the audience with the rest of us, but a couple fans couldn’t help but notice one time Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy in the crowd at a recent Rush show.  In fact one fan just kept filming Portnoy…which lead to some great air drumming moments.  Check it out:
 

Tuesday’s Last Laff

Tuesday, October 19th, 2010

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Henri for today’s Last Laff…
 
An elderly man is examined by his doctor.  ‘Well Stan, you appear to be in good health, do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?’
‘In fact, I do.’ said the old man. ‘After I have sex, I’m usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty.’
 
‘That seems unusual…leave it with me’ says the doctor.  He leaves the man to get dressed and sits beside his elderly wife for a minute.  ‘Agnes, your husband has an unusual concern. He claims that he’s usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and then hot and sweaty after the second time.. Do you know why?’
‘That crazy old fart knows why.  It’s because the first time is in January, and the second time is in August…
 

As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points, plus just for voting you have a chance to win a Large Tombstone Pizza from Topper’s Pizza!  Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Monday’s Last Laff

Monday, October 18th, 2010

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Jeanette for today’s Last Laff…
 
A little girl was shopping with her Mom at the Mall…
 
“Mommy, why do you have some hairs that are brown…and some that are white?”
 
Her Mom smiled at the question.  “Well, every time that you or your brother do something wrong that makes me cry, one of my hairs turns white”
 
They walked for a little bit longer while the girl thought about that.
 
“Mommy, then how come ALL of Grandma’s hairs are white?”
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Friday’s Last Laff

Friday, October 15th, 2010

How do you know you’re in a hotel in Timmins?
 
You call down to reception and say “I got a leak in my sink” and they say, “Alright, go ahead”
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Derek Edwards’ Blunderful Life

Friday, October 15th, 2010

He’s one of the hottest comedians in Canada.  He’s from Northern Ontario and tonight Derek Edwards rolls into town.  His “It’s A Blunderful Life” show is at Fraser Auditorium and we had a chance to talk to Derek about being from the North, his future plans and what he’d be doing in life if he wasn’t making us all laugh.
 
Check it out here

Thursday’s Last Laff

Thursday, October 14th, 2010

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar George for this one…  
 
Q92 held a contest where lucky people could win…a radio!
 
A nice letter arrived from one of the winners…
 
“Dear Mell & McEwin.  God bless you for the lovely radio I won.  I am 89 years old and live in what we call “the old folks home”.  All of my family is gone and I am all alone, yet today I feel like someone out there remembered me!
 
My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio.  However, she would never let me listen to hers…even when she was having a nap.  The other day her radio fell off her night table and broke into a million pieces.  It was really awful and she cried and cried.  When my new radio arrived from Q92, she asked if she could listen to it.
 
And I told her….to kiss my ass.
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

When This Baby Hits 88 MPH…

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

Hard to believe it’s been 25 years since Back To The Future rolled into theatres, but this month we’ll get a chance to check out one of the greatest trilogies of all time with the Back To The Future 25th Anniversary DVD and Blu-Ray box set, which comes out on October 26.
 
But it’s not just a chance to see the movies revamped and remastered – they’ve got all kinds of goodies on there, like some never-before-seen footage of original star Eric Stoltz as Marty McFly.
 

 
No offence to Stoltz…but could you really imagine anyone other than Michael J. Fox playing Marty McFly?
 
Also cool, a shot by shot recreation of the original teaser trailer that Fox did for next week’s Scream Awards.