So a new survey found the song that make guys cry the most is “Everybody Hurts” by R.E.M., closely followed by “Tears In Heaven” by Eric Clapton.  It led to us trying to figure out what makes guys cry.
 
For the most part, outside of personal loss, it was some sports moment that made most men tear up.  In fact I couldn’t think of anything entertainment related that could make me cry – until someone brought up The Iron Giant.
 
Seriously, if you’ve never seen the movie you should check it out, especially to get the impact of this ending (but if you don’t want to sit through it all – here it is)
 

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Bill for this one…
 
An elderly couple, both well into their 80′s, go to a sex therapist’s office.  The doctor asks, ‘What can I do for you?’
 
The old man says, ‘Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?’
 
The doctor is naturally surprised but figures if an elderly couple is asking for sexual advice…why not?
 
When the couple finishes, the doctor says, ‘There’s absolutely nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse..’
He thanks them for coming, wishes them good luck, and charges then $50.
 
The next week, the same couple returns and asks the sex therapist to watch again. The sex therapist is a bit puzzled, but he agrees.   And there’s no problems.  This happens several weeks in a row…
 
Finally, the doctor says, ‘I’m sorry, but I have to ask. Just what are you trying to find out?’
 
‘We’re not trying to find out anything.  She’s married; so we can’t go to her house.  I’m married; and we can’t go to my house.  The Quality Inn charges $124.  The Travelodge is $152.  We do it here for $50 and OHIP pays $43 of it, so our net cost is 7 dollar sex!’
 
 
 
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mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

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Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Bert for today’s Last Laff…

 
 
Guy walks into a butcher shop.
 
Butcher says “I’ll bet you $500 you can’t reach that package of meat up on the top shelf over there.”
 
The guy looks up and says “I’m not gonna take that bet. The steaks are too high.”
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

When was the last time a bra saved your life?
 
Ok, I guess it depends on how loose your definition of “saved” is, but soon two little cups (or maybe not so little depending) could be a lifesaver for real.
 
Check out the “emergency bra”, created by Ukrainian scientist Dr Elena Bodnar.
 

 
Dr. Bodnar said it comes in sizes 32B to 40C, can be easily removed, separated into two and converted into a face mask that stops harmful chemicals using a filter that works like a value. It also has an adjustable nose pincher.
 
And yes, there may be a “counterpart device for men”, but try not to think about the mental image too hard.  Although it wouldn’t be the first time “underwear” and noxious fumes showed up in the same sentence.

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Ginette for this morning’s Last Laff…
 
Paddy is passing by Mick’s hay shed one day when through a gap in the door  he sees Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.
 
Buttocks clenched he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right boot, followed by the left.
 
He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.
 
Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.
 
“What the hell are you doing Mick” says Paddy.
 
“Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin’ bejasus out of me” says an obviously embarrassed Mick.   ”Me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor”.
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Jacques for today’s Last laff…
 
A photographer from a national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at a national park. The magazine wanted to show some of the heroic work of the firefighters as they battled the blaze.
 
When the photographer arrived, he realized that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air. His request was approved and arrangements were made. He was told to report to a nearby airport where a plane would be waiting for him.
 
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, “Let’s go!”
 
The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air. The photographer said, “Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can take some pictures.”
 
“Why?” asked the pilot.
 
“Because I am a photographer,” he responded, “and photographers take photographs.”
 
The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

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Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Vince for today’s Last laff…
 
They did a study with a group of women…asking how they felt about the size of their asses.  Wanna know what they found out?
 
30% of women think their ass is too fat.   10% think their ass is too skinny.   And for the other 60%?   The say they don’t care, they love him just the way he is.
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Gino for today’s Last Laff…
 
Bob gets home stinkin’ drunk one night…crawls in beside his wife and passes out.  He wakes up at the Pearly Gates!  “Hi Bob” says St Peter.  “You died in your sleep… welcome to heaven”
 
“It can’t be!” cried Bob “I have too much still to do on Earth!  You HAVE to send me back”
 
“There’s only one way I can do that Bob…you’d have to go back as a chicken”
 
So Bob agrees and asks St. Peter to put him at a farm very near his home.  A second later he’s covered in feathers, clucking and pecking the ground.  A rooster strolls over.  “So you’re the new hen here huh…how’s your first day?”
 
“I have a strange feeling inside, like I’m going to explode” says Bob the chicken.
 
“You’re ovulating” says the Rooster.  “You’re gonna lay an egg, so just relax and let it happen”
 
A few uncomfortable seconds later, out pops an egg…and Bob feels much better.  Then he lays another…and he’s just about to lay a third one when he feels a slap on the back of his head and hears his wife’s voice.  “Bob wake up you just crapped the bed!”
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 
mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com

Busting out a legendary lick on a guitar is pretty sweet, but using electricity to do it…talk about cranking the cool factor up another notch!  Check out this version of Iron Man.
 

 
In fact the only thing that could make it cooler is if it was performed by a guy in an actual Iron Man suit.

Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Angela for this one…
 
A guy walks in to a bar with his pet money.  He orders a drink and while he’s sitting there the monkey’s all around the place.  It grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. Then it grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps on to the pool table, grabs the 8-ball and somehow swallows it whole!
 
The bartender goes ballistic.  “Your stupid monkey just ate one of the billiard balls!”
 
“Yeah, sorry about that. He eats everything in sight.   Don’t worry, I’ll pay for everything.”
 
So he finishes his drink, pays the bill including what the money ate, and leaves.
 
Two weeks later, he comes back in the bar with his pet monkey.  Same deal…orders a drink… and the monkey goes crazy.   It grabs a maraschino cherry out of a ladies glass, sticks it up his bum, pulls it out…and then eats it!
 
Everybody in the bar is in shock.
 
The bartender’s pissed.  “Hey, your monkey just stuck a cherry up his ass and then ate it!”
 
“Well of course he did…he pre-measures everything he eats after that 8-ball mistake.”
 
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.   Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
 

mellaney.dahl@rci.rogers.com

chris.mcewin@rci.rogers.com