Archive for May, 2010
Monday’s Last Laugh
Monday, May 31st, 2010
Mell pushes her brand new Porsche into a gas station and tells the mechanic that the engine has died.
The mechanic works on it and, after a few minutes, has the car idling smoothly.
“What was wrong with it?” Mell asks.
“Ahh..Just crap in the carburetor,” replies the mechanic.
“Really?” Mell asks: “How often do I have to do that?”
———-
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW. Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
Remember, They Happen in 3′s
Monday, May 31st, 2010
Not a great weekend to be a Hollywood celeb. 2 icons died over the weekend. First, Different Strokes Star Gary Coleman died of a Brain Hemorrhage on Friday, then Dennis Hopper, the Hollywood wildman whose memorable and erratic career included an early turn in “Easy Rider”, died Saturday at his home in Venice CA at age 74 of cancer. He died peacefully in his sleep, but expect a war to erupt over his estate! Remember, they come in 3’s so stay tuned!
Sucks To Be You
Sunday, May 30th, 2010
Now, I know it’s not polite to laugh at others misfortunes, but my buddy Al works in Red Deer, and he was on location selling RV’s this weekend..In the snow! Check out the pic he sent on Saturday…feel free to laugh at Albertans…I did!
Friday’s Last Laff….
Friday, May 28th, 2010
A Sudbury woman is chatting with her sister from Levack. The Sudbury woman says “I slept with a Brazilian.”
“Oh my God!” says the sister from Levack. “You’re terrible! How many is a Brazilian?”
————
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW. Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
I Want One!
Friday, May 28th, 2010
Today is a big day! The iPad is out today. I’ll be honest, when it first came out, I was…This is dumb, but over the past few weeks I’ve changed my mind. Now I Want One! Badly! Why, well A) This will give me a one-up on Mell now that she has an iphone and B) It’s cool!
I love the App store for the Ipad. You can buy comics and magazines and download. Play exclusive games! It’s just cool. And I can actually find a work reason to use it as well, which is a bonus. Although I don’t think my boss will pay for it, may he will buy me a nice 13th Anniversary gift, or maybe a 20th Anniversary gift from wife. I guess what I’m trying to say, maybe someone will buy me one! I’ll call Steve Jobs at Apple, but someone I think he’ll hang up on me! Until them, I will start saving my pennies and be part of the ipad generation later this summer, unless Steve Jobs is really nice to me, hey, it’s worth a shot!
Ozzy Goes On A Scare!
Friday, May 28th, 2010
Ozzy Osbourne recently scared fans at Madame Tussaud’s in New York when he sat still and then screamed as fans posed for pictures with what they thought was his ‘wax statue’. Don’t forget Ozzy’s new album Scream is on store shelves June 22.
Thursday’s Last Laugh
Thursday, May 27th, 2010
Today’s Last Laff comes from Club Q Rockstar Keith!
A man boards an airliner and takes his seat. He is surprised to find a large purple parrot in the seat next to him.
After the aircraft takes off, a pretty flight attendant walks down the aisle past the man and his seat mate “Hey, wench, “says the parrot, “bring me a whiskey and soda, and make it snappy!”
The FA looks annoyed, but walks on. A minute later, she walks back up the aisle, and the parrot pipes up again:
“Hey, you lazy so and so, where’s my whiskey? Hurry it up! ”
Visibly flustered, the FA hurries up the aisle and returns quickly with the parrot’s drink.
Impressed with the parrot’s technique, the man decides to get some quick service for himself.
“Hey, get me a dry martini. And don’t drag your sorry ass – I want it right now! ”
The FA turns red with anger and runs to the front of the plane. In a moment she returns with the First Officer and two burly male flight attendants.
The crewmen seize the passenger and the parrot, jerk open the emergency door, and hurl them both out of the airplane at 28,000 feet.
As the two hurtle out the door, the parrot turns to the man and says: “Ya know, for someone who can’t fly, you got a lotta balls.”
OMH! Oh My Hot!
Thursday, May 27th, 2010
Q Listener Jim from Dowling send us this picture. 102 in the shade yesterday. I believe it! Our thermometer in the valley read 35.8 yesterday. It was hot!
Wednesday’s Last Laugh
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010
Today’s Last Laff comes from Big Al in Verner!
Their was a farmer that had a horse that could not get up the farmer ask the vet to come and look at him.
The vet checked him out and said if he does not get back up in three days he’ll have to be put down!
The pig on the other side heard this conversation.
The first day the horse did not get up. On the second day the horse tried to get up but could still not get up.
The third day the horse tried again but could not get up, so the pig came over and told the horse “hey you better get up today or the vet is going to turn you into glue”!
So the horse gave everything he had and finally got up. W
When the farmer came into the barn and saw the horse up he was so happy that he yelled to his wife……”Hunny call the neighbours and tell were having a pig roast tonight”!
———-
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW. Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
Tuesday’s Last Laugh
Tuesday, May 25th, 2010
A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation were sitting in their pews and talking.
Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God’s ultimate enemy was in his presence..
So Satan walked up to the man and said, ‘Do you know who I am?’
The man replied, ‘Yep, sure do.’
‘Aren’t you afraid of me?’ Satan asked.
‘Nope, sure ain’t.’ said the man.
‘Don’t you realize I can kill you with one word?’ asked Satan.
‘Don’t doubt it for a minute,’ returned the old man, in an even tone.
‘Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?’ persisted Satan.
‘Yep,’ was the calm reply.
‘And you are still not afraid?’ asked Satan.
‘ Nope,’ said the old man
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, ‘Why aren’t you afraid of me?’
The man calmly replied,
‘Been married to your sister for 48 years.
———-
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW. Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now: