Archive for September, 2009
Wednesday’s Last Laff
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his younger cousin asked him: “How many women can a man marry?”
“16.” the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he answered so quickly. “How do you know that?”
“Easy,” the little boy said, “all you have to do is add it up, like the preacher said: ‘Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer.’”
——————————————————————————————
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.
Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
Tuesday’s Last Laugh
Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
After getting all of the Pope’s luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ do need help getting in?’
The Pope smiles…’Well, to tell you the truth, they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I’d really like to drive today.’
‘I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but what if something should happen?’ says the driver.
‘Who’s going to tell?’ asks the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back and the Pope climbs behind the wheel…and floors it! Soon, they hear sirens.
‘…I’m going to lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window. The cop takes one look and goes back to his vehicle. ‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going 275 kph.
‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.
‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important’.
‘Who do you have there, the mayor?’
‘Bigger’ says the Cop.
‘The Prime Minister?’
‘Bigger.’
‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘who is it?’
‘I think it’s God! All I know is….his chauffeur is the Pope!
——————————————————————————————
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.
Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
Monday’s Last Laugh
Monday, September 28th, 2009
A man riding his Harley was riding along in California when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, “Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish. ”
The biker pulled over and said, “Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.”
The Lord said, “Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take!
It will nearly exhaust several natural resources.
I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.”
The biker thought about it for a long time.
Finally, he said, “Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing’s wrong, and how I can make a Woman truly happy.”
The Lord replied, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?
——————————————————————————————
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.
Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
KISS Alive 35 Kicks Off
Sunday, September 27th, 2009
Kiss are back on the road! They kicked off their KISS Alive 35 Tour in Detroit over the weekend. It was almost 2 1/2 hours long! Check out the set-list! Let’s hope they listen to their fans and do a show in Sudbury.
“Deuce”
“Strutter”
“Got to Choose”
“Hotter Than Hell”
“Nothin’ to Lose”
“C’mon and Love Me”
“Parasite”
“She”
“Watchin’ You”
“100,000 Years”
“Cold Gin”
“Let Me Go, Rock ‘n’ Roll”
“Black Diamond”
“Rock and Roll All Night”
(encore)
“Shout It Out Loud”
“Lick It Up”
“I Love it Loud”
“Modern Day Delilah”
“Love Gun”
“Detroit Rock City”
Friday’s Last Laff…
Friday, September 25th, 2009
A ventriloquist on stage with his dummy at a bar was making fun of people from Levack. Just so happens, Terry was there with his whole family…so he stands up, rolls up his sleeves ,and yells, “I resent that!”
The ventriloquist was startled and then after a moment of uncomfortable silence, started to apologize to Terry and his Levack family. Terry shakes his head.. looks up at the ventriloquist and says, ” You stay outta this, I”m talking to the guy on your lap!!!!
——————————
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.
Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
Randy Quaid Mug Shot
Friday, September 25th, 2009
Interesting story out of Hollywood this morning. Actor Randy Quaid and his wife, Evi, were arrested yesterday for failing to pay their hotel bills. They checked into a couple of ritzy hotels in California and left without paying the bill! The couple later resisted arrest in Texas and Randy actually assaulted a couple of officers. The cops are not pressing charges, but the couple has been charged with burglary for skipping out on the bill.
We’re Going to See this Movie…
Thursday, September 24th, 2009
It’s called “Finding Bliss” and it’s showing Saturday afternoon at 4 … part of Cinefest at Silver City. The producer is Sudbury born Brandon Nutt who has been living in Los Angeles making movies! He’s got quite the resume, and he’s not even 30 yet! His family and friends are all still here, so this is home. Brandon did a very funny interview with Terry and I this morning…made me want to see the film! It’s sort of about making porno’s. Hmmmm. Wonder what Brandon’s Grandma’s going to think about that?
Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame
Thursday, September 24th, 2009
Nominees are out for the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame..Kiss, Genesis and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are among 12 nominees. 5 will be announced for induction in December. Is this the year for Kiss? What about Rush? Boston? ELO? Journey? The Guess Who? Where’s their nomination?
Here are my thoughts on the 12 potential hall members:
Kiss: Duh!
Abba: All kidding aside, they did blaze the way for many foreign bands and deserve to be in the hall.
Darlene Love: Lead sing of the 60′s band The Crystals. Hey, she sang vocals on Cheech and Chongs Basketball Jones! Me thinks she should be let in.
Genesis:Have sold 150 Million Albums worldwide. Early stuff was very influential, but later became poppy and mainstream. I like Genesis, but think that they will passed over this year.
Donna Summer: The Queen Of Disco. If your looking for someone who has blazed a trail, she’s it. You may not be fond of disco and what it did to music, but I think she has a good chance of getting a nod for the class of 2010.
Jimmy Cliff: He is the only currently living musician to hold the Order of Merit, the highest honour that can be granted by the Jamaican government for achievement in the arts and sciences. He is a god in the reggae world, but does he have the clout to be a member? If they look at merit alone. he should be there, but I think he’ll passed by this time around.
Laura Nyro: Who? That’s what most people will say. Most noted for her songwriting. Worked with many bands over the years. She died of cancer in 1997. A posthumous inductee. Not likely.
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Hey, I love the Peppers! But this is their first year on the list and the chances of them getting in are slim, but they may be a darkhorse.
The Chantells: Again, you’re saying..Who? Like Jimmy Cliff, they are from Jamaica. They were most popular in the 70′s, but not popular enough to make it into the hall, at least not this year.
The Hollies: Man, this is a tough one. Most famous for Long Coll Woman (In A Black Dress) and having Graham Nash as member. I’m a fan, but I don’t vote and they won’t listen to me! So..no go (at least not this year)
The Stooges: Iggy Pop’s band. Huge and influential in the late 60′s and early 70′s. Instrumental in the rise of punk rock. If the Rock Hall has any sense, The Stooges will be part of the Class of 2010.
LL Cool J: I have a major problem with this. If they want to honour rap and hip-hop, this is not where you start. If hip-hop is a contender this year, I vote for the Sugarhill Gang, who in 1979, released the sings “Rapper’s Delight”, the first hip hop single recorded to become a Top 40 hit. That was influential! Not LL Cool J.
My predictions for the Top 5: Kiss, The Stooges, Jimmy Cliff, Abba and Donna Summer
Thursday’s Last Laugh
Thursday, September 24th, 2009
Today’s Last Laugh comes from Club Q Rockstar
A new prisoner goes to lunch in a room with 200 other inmates.
A man gets up and says,”97″ all the others langh. Another gets up and says,”47″, again all the others laugh.
Not understanding this the new inmate asks an oldtimer, “Hey Pops, what’s going on.”
Pop says “In jail you only hear so many jokes so we give them numbers. When someone says a number, you remember the joke and laugh.”
The new guy studies the jokes list all night long and is ready for the next lunch time. When the time is right he gets up and says, “42″, but nobody laughs.
Someone else gets up and says,”91″ all the men laugh.
The new tries it agin…..”27″, No laughter.
He askes the oldtimer”Pops what am I doing wrong?”
Pops looks at him square in the eye and says” Son, some people can tell jokes, some people can’t.”
——————————————————————————————
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.
Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now:
Wednesday’s Last Laugh
Wednesday, September 23rd, 2009
Today’s Last Laff comes from Club Q Rockstar Beddie
A retired man went into the Job Center in Downtown Levack, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.
The clerk pulled up the file and read; “The job is simple…you just need to prepare the ladies for the doctor visit..”
“The annual salary is $65,000, and you’ll have to go to Kenora, which is about 1300 km’s from here.”
“Good grief, is that where the job is?”
“No sir — that’s where the end of the line is right now.”
——————————————————————————————
As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points. Log on to your account to vote NOW.
Have a funny joke? (please!!!) E-mail them now: