Four hockey fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team, and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their hockey team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.

They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Canadiens fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, “This is for the Great Montreal Canadiens!” as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Edmonton Oilers fan threw himself off the mountain shouting “This is for the Oilers!”

Seeing this, the Ottawa Senators fan walked over and shouted, “This is for everyone!” and pushed the Toronto Maple Leafs fan off the side of the mountain.

As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points.  Log on to your account to vote NOW.

——————————————————————————————

Have a funny joke? (please!!!)  E-mail them now: 

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

——————————————————————————————

Just like we said, it’s nasty outside!  School Buses are off the road, BUT the schools are open.  Really!  Someone at the school board is going to have to answer a lot of phone calls on that decision.  Take it easy on the roads today.  It will improve as the day goes on.  

——————————————————————————————

My drive in from the Valley was, well, the worst in the 8 years I’ve been doing the Morning Show on Q92.  Getting out of my driveway was the first adventure.  Then, it’s on the street which technically didn’t exist.  As I approached the highway, I put the pedal down and managed to get over the bank.  Highway 69 was nothing but a little cow-path all the way into the city.  Getting up the hill to Valley View road was a challenge, then the drive between McRae Heights and Track ‘n Wheels was horrible.  Infact, just past the Thayer Lindsley Mine entrance, I hit a patch of snow and veered off to the right and got stuck!  So, here I am, rocking my truck back and forth on Highway 69, just to get back on the cow-path.  Finally, I arrived at the station, and proceeded to get stuck in the parking lot (just like everyone else).  Total Drive Time: About 40 Minutes.  Normal Drive Time: 13 Minutes.  Here’s what the highway looked like as I was rockin’ may way out of a drift:

——————————————————————————————

Sunday night, The `Donald“ is back with Celebrity Apprentice Two.  I was never a fan of the original series, but the celebrity thing is pretty cool.  12 celebrities will battle it out to win money for their charity. He`s actually lined up and great list of celebs: 

• Deal or No Deal briefcase model Claudia Jordan
• Singer Tionne Watkins,  T-Boz of TLC 
• Canadian funny guy Tom Green
• Khloe Kardashian.  Apparently it’s a new rule for reality shows. Not allowed to have one without a Kardashian!
• Joan and Melissa Rivers
• Former NFLer Herschel Walker
• Former figure skater Scott Hamilton
• Golfer Natalie Gulbis, who, by the way, is unbelievably HOT!
• And Sandra Bullock’s husband and popular mechanic Jesse James

I`m going out a limb here and say that..Herschel Walker will be the winner. And here is a totally unnecessary picture of golfer Natalie Gulbis; 

—————————————————————————————– 

BONUS CODE: trump

——————————————————————————————

After a day like today, a good laugh is what you need!  Check out this skit from the Jimmy Kimmel Show.  It’s an interview of Octo-Mom!

——————————————————————————————

Wheel of Fortune celebrates its 5,000th show today. For the record, Jeopardy is over 5,700. Check out how bad this guy was!

—————————————————————————————–

While we’re on the topic of game shows, this will make you laugh out loud!  Really dumb answers!

——————————————————————————————

A plane was taking off from the Sudbury Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, ‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from Sudbury to Vancouver. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax… OH, MY GOD!’ Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap.  You should see the front of my pants!’ A passenger in Coach yelled, ‘That’s nothing.  You should see the back of mine!’

——————————————————————————————

As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points.  Log on to your account to vote NOW.

——————————————————————————————

Have a funny joke? (please!!!)  E-mail them now: 

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

——————————————————————————————

Holy crap!  More snow!  Where are we going to put it!  Enviroment Canada says we could get up to 25cm of wet snow in the next 24 hours here in Greater Sudbury.  Keep it locked on Q92 for up to date weather information all day long.  Is it spring yet? Follow the storm on the Britt Weather Radar!

——————————————————————————————

Tonight at Cranky Joe’s in Hanmer it’s the first of 4 qualifying tournaments for the Q92 Bianco’s Movie Super Center Rock Star Poker Tournament.  This will be very cool to check out.  100 players will start playing Texas Hold ‘em at 7 O’clock.   A few from tonight’s qualifier may heading to the final table at Kewadin Casino in Sault Michigan where someone is gonna score a complete Bianco’s Audiotronic Home Theatre Package worth $3400.00 and the title of Sudbury’s Best Poker Player!  A huge thanks to Sudbury’s Ultimate Poker League for helping out.Here’s a great video from the pro’s on how to shuffle poker chips. 

——————————————————————————————

BONUS CODE: texas

——————————————————————————————

This morning, we talked about classic board games!  One of the more popular games called in this morning was..Passout!  Remember Passout!  Well, if you don’t, you’re not the only one.  Most of the time you were pretty sloshed when you started to play.  To celebrate, Mell and I played Pop-o-Matic Trouble on the air.  Just for the record, I won!

——————————————————————————————

The high school students at College Notre Dame  are doing their annual door-to-door blitz to raise money for cancer tonight (Thursday). Each year they raise thousands of dollars.  At 3:30 the entire school, in groups, will be walking door-to-door all over Sudbury and during the winter storm to boot!  Good luck and get your cash ready!

——————————————————————————————

Octuplet mom Nadya Suleman has a job offer to mull over as she looks at raising her newly expanded family of 14 children. Vivid Entertainment is offering the California woman a million dollars and a year of health insurance for her family, if she would star in a pornographic movie.

She’s was on Dr. Phil yesterday.  Check out some of the interview;

——————————————————————————————

It’s just one of those things that makes you laugh.  Check out this Scoreboard Fail! Click HERE for more fails!

 —————————————————————————————–

Missed the latest Entertainment Headlines, check out today’s “Morning Buzz” HERE.

——————————————————————————————

Armand and Arline, an elderly couple walks into a hospital. The doctor says to Armand: “I’ll need a urine sample, a feces sample and a blood sample.” Armand says: “What?” So the doctor says it again. Once again Armand says: “What?” So the doctor yells: “I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!” With that, Arline turns to Armand and says: “He needs a pair of your underwear!”

——————————————————————————————

As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points.  Log on to your account to vote NOW.

——————————————————————————————

Have a funny joke? (please!!!)  E-mail them now: 

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

——————————————————————————————

Retired couple Martin and Marlene Neva of Lively had one of the four winning tickets in Saturday’s Lotto 6-49 jackpot. Martin says he couldn’t believe his eyes when he started checking his ticket Saturday night. They were in Toronto yesterday to pick up their 12.5 million dollar portion of the total 50.3 million. The couple, who has been married for 42 years, plan to use some of their winning for a trip to Australia and renovations to their home and cottage. They put the ticket in the freezer over the weekend while they waited for the OLG offices to open. Just two winning tickets remain: The OLG says they are from the Greater Toronto Area and Quebec

——————————————————————————————

BONUS CODE: bigbucks

——————————————————————————————

Listener E-mail time!  

Dear Terry and Mell.  Just wondering if it’s appropriate to use a Gift Certficate to pay for dinner when you’re out on a date?   I got a GC for Christmas and used it pay for Valetine’s dinner witht he girl I’ve been seeing.  I thought it was O.K., but she kind of gave me a funny look and now won’t take my calls.  It’s not like I used a 2 for 1 coupon at a fast food place.  This was a nice place.  My friends seemed split on the issue.  Is it O.K to use a Gift Certificate to pay for sinner when you’re out on a date?

Have your say!  Vote NOW.

——————————————————————————————

Warning!  The Internet bad guys are finding new ways to go after your bank accounts. They used to do the phishing thing where they’d e-mail you an official looking notice that appeared to come from your bank and ask you to log on and then they’d steal your password. Most everyone got wise to that and now they’ve come up with banking trojans. They find their way onto your computer when you click on a viral link to a greeting card or video that arrives in e-mail spam or by clicking on a Web page that’s been corrupted by hackers. Then the next time you log onto your bank website it steals your username and password. Not only can they drain your accounts, some can alter the web page to make your balances appear normal. The banking industry says that all in all online banking is safe, although you may want to check with your bank to see if they protect you if you get ripped off.

——————————————————————————————

Guy’s, it’s time to play “Spot The Fish”.  Can you see the fish in this picture?

 —————————————————————————————–

Hey all you geeks!  Check this out, it’s the never seen, alternate ending to Back To The Future!  Doc Brown overshoots the future by a few years!

——————————————————————————————

Missed the latest Entertainment Headlines, check out today’s “Morning Buzz” HERE.

——————————————————————————————

A lady walks into Tiffany’s. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she lets out a fart.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn’t pop up right now.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her.

Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional salesman in a store like Tiffany’s, and greets the lady with, ‘Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?’

Feeling uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little ‘accident’, she asks, ‘Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?’

He answers, ‘Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to crap when I tell you the price!’

——————————————————————————————

As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points.  Log on to your account to vote NOW.

——————————————————————————————

Have a funny joke? (please!!!)  E-mail them now: 

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

——————————————————————————————

This morning we talked about “Pet Names” for your significant other.  For years, my Dad called my mom “Boob”.  I have no idea why, and to be honest with, I don;t want to.  We all have pet names.  My wife and I stick with the traditional “Honey”.  Mell refers to her hubby as “My Love”.  Ya, I know..gag me with a spoon!  We opened up the phones and asked for your pet name, with some funny results! 

Here are the most popular “pet names” for your sweetheart:

• Honey, 65%
• Sweetie, 30%
• Sugar, 11%
• Cookie, 6%

——————————————————————————————

Don’t have a “Pet Name”?  Generate your own with the Pet Name Generator!  Hours of fun!  According to this, my Pet Name is “Foxey Angel”!  Think that’s bad, Mell’s is “cherished smooshie-tushie”!

——————————————————————————————

Here’s a little music history for you.  On this day in 1976 “The Eagles Greatest Hits” becomes the first album to be certified gold and platinum.  That’s sales of 2,000,000 copies!

——————————————————————————————

BONUS CODE: theeagles 

——————————————————————————————

Fed up hearing that harsh alarm clock in the morning? There’s a new alarm clock uses the smell of freshly cooked bacon to wake you up in the morning. The ‘Wake N Bacon Clock’ will even cook frozen bacon, placed inside the clock the night before. Click HERE for more info!

——————————————————————————————

But wait!  There’s more!  Thanks to Q listnener Jay for this link!  The food HERE is, well, check it out for yourself! 

——————————————————————————————

Do NOT try this at home!  It’s a site dedicated to Blowing Up Stuff In A Microwave!

——————————————————————————————

Missed the latest Entertainment Headlines, check out today’s “Morning Buzz” HERE.

——————————————————————————————

A guy walks into a bar with his dog and says: “I’ll have a Scotch and water and my dog would like a whisky sour.” The bartender says: “Sorry, we don’t allow animals in here.” The dog replies: “Hey, I’m tired of being discriminated against. Just give me a drink.” The bartender says: “Oh, no, not another ventriloquist with the old talking dog trick. Both of you, get out of here!” “No, no, no, this isn’t a trick, I promise you,” says the man. “I tell you what, I’ll go for a walk around the block and you talk to Rover here.” The man leaves and the bartender sees him turn the corner. “Now, can I have my drink?” says the dog. The bartender is amazed: “Sure you can and it’s on the house! Listen, can you do me a favor? My wife works next door at the cafe. It’ll make her day if you go in and order a cup of coffee. Here’s 10 bucks and you can keep the change afterward.” “OK,” says the dog and he takes the 10 dollars and leaves. Ten minutes go by and the dog doesn’t come back. The owner returns and asks where’s the dog. So, both of them go off to see what happened to the dog. As they approach the cafe, they see Rover going at it hot and heavy with a French poodle in the alley between the bar and cafe. The owner shouts: “Rover! What are you doing! You’ve never done this before!” The dog shrugged: “Hell, I’ve never had any money before.”

——————————————————————————————

As a Club Q Rock Star, you can rate the joke and earn points.  Log on to your account to vote NOW.

——————————————————————————————

Have a funny joke? (please!!!)  E-mail them now: 

terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com

mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com

——————————————————————————————

It’s what EVERYONE is Sudbury is talking about!  Who has the ticket!  One of the 4 winning numbers from Saturday’s huge $52 Million Lotto 6-49 jackpot was sold here in Greater Sudbury!  That ticket is worth $12.5 Million.  Have you checked your numbers yet?  Click Here to check ‘em out!

——————————————————————————————

BONUS CODE: happydance

——————————————————————————————

Just in case you missed it this morning, some big concert news!  Neil Young is coming to Northern Ontario!  Neil will play the Essar Centre in the Soo on Friday April 17th.  Tickets go on sale THIS Friday morning at 10am.  Club Q Rock Stars, listen to win tickets all this week! All shows for this tour will be general admission floor with reserved seating in the stands. For complete tour and ticket information visit: www.livenation.com or www.neilyoung.com.

——————————————————————————————

The 81st Academy Awards were handed out in Hollywood last night.  No big surprises.  Click HERE for all the winners.   If you missed the show, check this out!.  It’s Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix.

——————————————————————————————

Today is the 23^rd of the month and many people consider the number 23 to be a magical, mystical or even superstitious. Some Number 23 facts:

• 23 was Adolf Hitler’s favorite
• In Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Caesar is stabbed 23 times
• The Earth spins on an axis of 23 degrees
• The human “physical cycle” biorhythm is 23 days long
• 23 is the number of the Illuminati.  They’re the group that some people think are secretly running the world.
• W, the 23^rd letter of the alphabet has two points up and three points down
• The very first episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the numbers 2 and 3 
• Hurricane Katrina formed on August 23
• It takes 23 seconds for blood to circulate through the body
• Every 23rd wave that crashes ashore is usually twice as large as normal
• President John F. Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963…. If you add …2 plus 2 plus 1 plus 9 plus 6 plus 3….you get..23!
• 19 hijackers took over 4 planes on September 11, 2001..19 plus 4….. equals 23
• NBA superstar Michael Jordan wore number 23
• David Beckham wore 23 at Real Madrid
• On Seinfeld December 23^rd is set as the date of Festivus
• On Deal or No Deal in September of 2006, Matty Solina picked case 23 because he had gotten married at 23, been married 23 years, was born on the 23^rd and had been a Teamster for 23 years.  That case contained the top prize of $3 million dollars
• 23 is the smallest group of people in which there is a better than 50% chance two of them will share a birthday

——————————————————————————————

Things that make you…Ewwww.  Check out this Giant Rat caught in China!  Yes…it’s a rat!

——————————————————————————————