Wednesday’s Last Laugh
February 8th, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Judy for today’s Last Laff…
Try and follow along to this sports analogy. It really makes sense.
For the urban poor…the sport of choice is Basketball.
For the maintenance level employees…they choose Bowling.
Front-line workers….choose Football.
Supervisors…choose Baseball.
For middle management….their sport of choice is Tennis.
And for Corporate Executives…they choose Golf.
What have we learned from all of this?
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls are.
(Can you imagine how many people in Parliament play marbles?)
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com
terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com
Tuesday’s Last Laugh
February 7th, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Bill for today’s Last Laff…
They asked me to do a Health and Safety test here at Q92 and I failed it.
There was one question that said “In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?”
Apparently “Freaking Huge ones” is not the right answer….
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com
terry.callaghan@sudburyradio.rogers.com
Monday’s Last Laugh
February 6th, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Sandy for today’s Last Laff…
A man’s car breaks down near a monastery. He asks if he could spend the night and the Monks feed him dinner and fix his car. As he tries to fall asleep, the man hears a strange sound…like nothing he’s ever heard! In the morning he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say they can’t tell him because he’s not a monk.
The man is desperate to know what the sound was so asks how he can become a Monk so he can find out.
“You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are. When you bring the number, you will become a monk”
45 years later, the man knocks on the door of the monastery. “There are 371 trillion, 145 billion, 236 million, 284 thousand, 232 blades of grass”.
The Monks welcome him inside as one of them and lead him to a locked wooden door…and behind it is the sound! They offer him a key which opens the door, and behind it is a stone door. They offer him a key and he opens it to find a door of ruby. He gets the key for that and finds a locked Silver door. He keeps getting keys through 4 more unusual doors and finally the Monks say he’s at the final door!!! He can’t wait to open it.
He turns the key and finally knows what the amazing strange magical sound is!!!
I’m sorry, you’re not a card-carrying Monk now…are you?
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com
Friday’s Last Laugh
February 3rd, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar William for today’s Last Laff…
Two young guys appear in court after being arrested for smoking dope. “You seem like reasonable young men” said the judge. “I’m going to give you both a second chance instead of jail time. Go out this weekend and try to convince others of the evils of drug use. I’ll see you back in court Monday.”
Monday morning they’re back in front of the judge.
“How did you do” he asked the first guy.
“Well, your honor, I talked 17 people into giving up drugs for good.”
“How’d you manage to do that?”
“I used a diagram, your honor. I drew two circles…one big and one small. Then I told them the big one was your brain before drugs and the little one was your brain after drugs.”
“Pretty impressive. How’d you do” he asked the second boy.
“Your honor, I got 156 people to give up drugs forever”
“Wow! 156 people? How’d you manage to do that?”
“I used a similar diagram. I drew a small circle and a big circle…then I pointed to the small circle and told them this was you before prison…”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com
Wednesday’s Last Laugh
February 2nd, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Leo for today’s Last Laff…
A very tired blonde nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She’s asked to sign a withdrawal receipt and pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse and tries to write with it.
The teller tries to hide her grin and says to the blonde nurse “I don’t think it’s going to write”
The blonde nurse looks down and sees what she’s got in her hand. “Well this is just great…some asshole stole my pen!”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com
Tuesday’s Last Laff
January 31st, 2012 by Mell
Patricia sent in this joke!
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A good ole Saskatchewan boy won a fishing boat in a raffle!
He brought it home and his wife looks at him and says, “What the hell you gonna do with that. There ain’t no water deep enough to float a boat within 75 miles of here.”
“Don’t care! I won it, and I’m gonna keep it!”
His brother came over to visit that weekend. He sees the wife and asks where his brother is.
“He’s out there in his fishing boat” she says, pointing to the field behind the house.
He goes around back and spots his brother sitting in the boat with a rod in his hand in the middle of a big field. “Hey! What are ya doin out there?”
“Fishin’”
“It’s people like you that give people from Saskatchewan a bad name! You make everybody think we’re stupid. If I could swim, I’d come out there and kick your ass.”
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Ha! If you have a joke, send it in! We’ll give you 300 Club Q Rockstar Points…q92rocks.com
Monday’s Last Laff: (posted late–sorry!!!!)
January 31st, 2012 by Mell
A quiz:
Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn’t have one.
The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women.
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
What is it?
A last name!
…..
Thanks to Judy for the joke…she’s gets 300 points. If you have a joke you’d like to send along, we’ll give it to J. Austen Healey and it may show up on a future Last Laff. Details at q92rocks.com
Friday’s Last Laugh
January 27th, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Bill for today’s Last Laff…
Welcome to the 2012 Human Resources quiz Terry and Mell! You’re here to make sure that you understand the expectations of a company’s workplace. Terry, can you tell everyone what we’d call it if a man talks dirty to a woman while at work?
(Terry) Sexual harassment.
Correct! And Mell, please tell everyone what it would be called if a woman talks dirty to a man while at work!
(Mell) Sexual harassment
No…that would be called $3.99 a minute!
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com
Thursday’s Last Laugh
January 26th, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar Leo for today’s Last Laff…
An exclusive wine merchant lost his regular wine taster and advertised for the position. A ragged dirty looking drunk came in for an interview. The merchant just wanted to get him out of there so handed him a glass of wine.
The drunk tried it. “Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable”
He was right, so the merchant poured a different wine and handed it to the drunk.
“Cabernet, eight years old, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. 3 more years will bring out the best results.”
The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary who left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it.
“Blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if you don’t give me the job, I’ll name the father.”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com
Wednesday’s Last Laugh
January 25th, 2012 by Terry
Thanks to Club Q Rockstar William for today’s Last Laff…
A doctor in St John’s Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he calls over his sanitation engineer (the janitor).
“Hey Buddy, I’m goin’ huntin’ tomorrow and don’t want to close the clinic. If you take care of all my patients I’ll give you fifty bucks.”
“Yes, sir!” says Buddy
So the doctor goes hunting and the next morning he arrives back at his clinic. “So Buddy, how was your day?”
“Well I took care of three patients. The first one had a Headache so I gave him TYLENOL.
“Bravo Buddy!”
“Yep, and the second one had a bad stomach and I gave him MAALOX, sir”
“Double Bravo, you’re a natural at this! How about the third patient?”
“Well Sir, I was havin’ a smoke and suddenly the door flies opens and a woman runs in, takes all her clothing off and lies down on the table. She was shouting “HELP ME – I haven’t seen a man in over two years”
“Good LORD Tunderin’ Jeezuz Buddy! What did you do?”
“I put drops in her eyes!!”
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That’s funny! And you probably have a joke that’s funny too! Send it to us cause we love to laugh…
mellaney.dahl@sudburyradio.rogers.com