….See you on the radio…Scott Turnbull

Hey – you bet. Happy to help. Call my cell 778 384 7520. Take care, L….

…Give him a call…I’m certain he’d appreciate it…Actually…I’m fairly certain it’s been changed by now…

See you on the radio….Scott Turnbull

Good luck with those singing lessons…

…..See you on the radio….Scott Turnbull

…See you on the radio…Scott Turnbull

Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running very well,
I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what
I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to
the other, ‘I used to be able to fix these things, but now with
all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know
where to start.’ We will then drink a couple of beers
as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone
to bring me soup and take care of me tenderly while I lie in bed
and moan. You’re a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so
for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________________

Because I’m a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic
groceries at the store like beer, milk, bread or beer. I cannot
be expected to find exotic items like ‘mango’ or ‘tofu.’ For all I
know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________________

Because I’m a man, when one of our appliances stops
working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that
this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person
gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________________

Because I’m a man, I must hold the television remote
control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been
misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it…..though
one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator…..
_______________________________________________

Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask me what I’m
thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars,
sex, sports or sex. I have to make up something else when
you ask, so don’t ask.
_______________________________________________

Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I
thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,
too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it,
looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go
now?
_______________________________________________

Because I’m a man, and this is, after all, the year 2012, I
will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry,
the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes,
and I’ll do the rest……like wandering around in the garden
with a beer wondering what to do.

….See you on the radio…Scott Turnbull

I’m with you…I’m not familiar with half of them either…

…See you on the radio…Scott Turnbull

…See you on the radio…Scott Turnbull

http://www.gamesonly.com/fun-games/save-harry.html

The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken.

She sent me back to the principal’s office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again.

I don’t understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn’t like it when I am.

Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, “Colonel Sanders.”
Guess where I am now…

…See you on the radio…Scott Turnbull

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California , would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape…

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher.. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”

9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for.. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had.

In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family….unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

…..See you on the radio…Scott Turnbull