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After a week off from the World Headquarters, I’ve returned with yet more picture of my friends and family.  This first one is of my Dad, a man who hasn’t changed in at least 20 years and enjoying some time spent at my favorite campground, the Toad Rock in Balfour, BC

And this one is of me and Kid, an old high school friend whom I haven’t seen in 20 years.  Our lives’ paths have taken us in two completely different directions but when you’re riding however, that’s all that matters.

Valentine’s Groundhog            

If I ever come back to life as a month of the year and if that month is February, it will be a sign from the heavens that I was never meant to pass through the pearly gates.  February is like the middle kid in a family of eight; it’s not the oldest or youngest and is often forgotten about despite the amount of hand me downs that is forced upon it, like it’s less than stellar holidays.

Groundhog Day

January has the brand new, smell-like-baby powder New Year baby, October celebrates Thanksgiving with a turkey, April gets to use the cute, little fuzzy bunny rabbit for it’s Easter holiday and then you’ve got the black sheep of the calendar year, February and a groundhog?  Ironically, a sheep would be a vast improvement over this varmint rodent that can predict the weather with the same accuracy as a bathtub full of legless monkeys. While both of the above critters are worthy of a holiday, I’m convinced Groundhog Day was created so that weather forecasters don’t feel left out of the news anchor loop.  You want this nation to envelop Groundhog Day with open arms; turn it into a national statutory holiday and I can almost promise that this whistle-pig, land beaver will be the next mammal to have its mug on our quarter.

Valentine’s Day

The 2^nd month of the year doesn’t necessarily scream romance as slushy and dirty snow lines the streets and avenues while frozen and dying flowers are delivered by the dozen. The only people that celebrate this half-holiday are either those that forgot about the day last year and are attempting to make amends, the creepy guy working the early morning shift at the gas bar who keeps smelling his hands or that 40’some couple that likes to make out in public places.

Family Day

Sure, it’s a day off but at what cost?  The winter blues have set in, you’ve finally been able to make the minimum payment on the credit card courtesy of over priced X-Mas presents and your out-of-work uncle moved out of your basement 72 hours ago.  Let’s celebrate by hanging out with the very same people that almost ruined you, mentally and financially; not necessarily the best of ideas.  At least one other province went as far as to rename Family Day to fool those not accustomed to the weakest of all holidays and even our immediate neighbors to the East only hopped on board a few years ago, this stemming from the same province that refuses to change time with the rest of the nation.

Too Little Too Late

The biggest offense to February comes in the form of numbered days and how it gets ripped off.  The forgotten month can’t even hit 30 days on a leap year which only adds salt to the wound and makes me wonder if we should eliminate the month of February altogether.  Get rid of the two half holidays, carry Family Day into March and then divvy up the remaining days and let’s put February out to pasture, it’s served its time.

After rolling into the World Headquarters this morning and topping up my coffee cup with coffee, I was parusing some of my favorite websites when I came across this little number. 

For anyone who can appreciate the Muppet Show, you’ll like this;

 http://en.video.canoe.tv/video/comedy/comedy/1906868833/bohemian-rhapsody-by-the-muppets/53040383001

I have to admit that despite using half of my vacation days in the first two weeks of 2010, you might as well use them during the coldest month of the year.

And I can say through ungritted teeth that I’ve been chomping at the bit to get back in the saddle of the Rock 105.3 World Headquarters.

Over the course of this week and next, I thought I’d share some of my journal entries that I accumulated while on holidays, something that I started to do years ago. As the mind fails, the pen will always be there to remind me.

The following picture is how I spent my first 36 hours;

by spending it, shivering, quivering, shaking and sweating from the confines of a dentist chair. Don’t get me wrong, Dr. Matt and crew were fantastic, it was the patient that had problems.

Mostly stemming from traumatic childhood dentist experiences when ‘freezing’ was considered a luxury option, I realize it’s mind over matter and my mind just isn’t quite there yet, despite not feeling a thing.

With reassurance from my co-host Cassie and some loyal Rock 1053. listeners, I took the plunge and sat in the chair and I have to say I’m very happy I listened to that advice because I’m leaving on a jet plane tomorrow morning and I’d hate to have my teeth worked on by a guy who can’t communicate with me because of a language barrier.

In hindsight, it’s a great way to start a new decade, complete with a new tooth.

I’ll be back in a couple of weeks,
Poncho

That’s when I’m scheduled to appear before my dentist to rectify a tooth emergency after some beef jerkey got the better part of my bottom right molar, wisdom tooth to be exact. It’s the not that tooth that hurts but my big fat tongue which keeps rubbing against the sharp part of my partially broken tooth.

Normally, this wouldn’t be a big deal but I’m leaving on a jet plane in two days and I’m all about sacrificing comfort if it means avoiding a trip to the dentist; just not this time around.

I can’t begin to explain how terrified I am of these people and even typing this out I can feel myself tensing up. Like my growing stomach, so does grow my fear of teeth workers. If the arms of a dentist chair had restraints, I’d use them. If gas is an option, sign me up.

Mice, snakes, spiders, that shady dude in the back alley; I’m fine with. I’ve been picnicing when a family of bears showed up, I’ve been face to face with a wolf during a winter camping trip and aside from being more than a little concerned over a pack of coyotes when I was a wee lad, none of this compares to how I feel about the dentist.

24 hours from now it will all be over with and yes, I’ll be reporting back with details however this isn’t how I wanted to spend my last few remaining hours of 2009; stuck in a dentist chair.

After weeks of un-coperative weather, I can finally say I tried my hand at snoeshoeing and at the end of the afternoon, Elkwater came out the winner.

Despite a back pack full of trail mix, extra socks, gloves, gallons of water and even some beef jerkey, I was done for after 3 hours of pretending to be a courier-de-bois.

Aside from a winter-sweat courtesy of too much Helly Hansen gear and some dudes who were ice fishing, it was a day of snow and solitude, just like I imagined it.

One look at the following picture will explain today’s blog title, especially for anyone that has been around the block once or twice. For the rest of you, it should be mandatory to watch ‘A Christmas Story’ but that’s not what I wanted to focus on.

With a balmy temperature hovering between -15 & -36 this week, it’s once again that time of the season where children everywhere are pushing their tongues to the limit with a short but deadly version of ‘stick your tongue to anything metal’ game.

For me, it came in the form of a window frame on the ride home on the school bus. Much like how a moth is attracted to a flame, kids can’t resist the draw to stick their pie hole appendage to something very, very cold.

It doesn’t pay to ask ‘why’ but rather a rite of passage for any Canadian child growing up on a school yard. Ahhh, those were the days . . . . . . . .

With the summer of 2009 behind us, I’ve been reflecting on some of my bike trips this summer and while there have been many hilights, I’m already anticipating one of two trips next summer.

While one hopefully entails a journey to Whitehorse on the Road King, I’m equally as fired up to once again head into the mountains, this time with Dad. He’s always wanted to ride through the mountains and I’ve always wanted to go on (another) road trip with Pa’, so we’ll be hitting that blacktop together next summer.

Here’s a pic of me and Dad taken in the summer of ’08 and since that time, Dad has moved onto three more bikes since and is now hankering to get his hands on a trike.

Following true to Murphy’s Law, the TV crapped out four days before the cable dude is scheduled to make an appearance.

Not having a TV is bittersweet for me. Being a man, owning a television is kinda like coming of age because even if nothing is on, it just feels good running that remote. It’s like sitting in the Captain’s Chair on the Enterprise, knowing that with the push of a button, you can forever alter the course of your destination, whether it be All in the Family or Family Guy.

That’s the bitter part. The sweet part of not being able to exercise the eyes is that I don’t have to put up
with endless hours of American Idol, Canadian Idol, Cat Idol, Food Idol, Days of our Lives Idol and Idol Idol.