What you won’t find here is today’s bonus word which can be snagged from the latest edition of the Medicine Hat News. (Sept 2/2010)
What you will find in both the paper and below, today’s column.
The shaking of fingers, the furrowing of foreheads and last minute reminders of shoelace etiquette was all a facade because if you listened real hard this past Monday morning, you could hear the silent yet jubilant scream of parents everywhere. As fist pumping and chest thumping from an army of weary Moms and Dads was the priority across suburbs and farmhouses alike, tomorrow’s future headed back to school for another 200 days of the growing of the brain. Unfortunately, it’s our generation that should make the trek to the big yellow bird and not necessarily for a refresher course on how to use a protractor because just for few moments, imagine if our politicians and playmakers used the laws of the playground to run the world.
1. The Drinking Fountain Rule. No matter how times you got ‘called over’ during an intense match of Red Rover, when recess ended you were allowed five seconds in front of the drinking fountain and woe to the individual that would exceed that golden opportunity. This rule would also apply to check out lines in stores everywhere and should you exceed the allotted time for paying for your six ply toilet paper and duck boots, prepare to suffer the queen of all wedgies at the hands of your fellow shoppers. As an added bonus, this rule would generate much more interesting conversation than the typical, ‘Is it hot enough for ya’?’ ice breaker.
2. No Telling Rule. No one likes a tattle-tale, especially after you’ve tested out your new four letter vocabulary on the tarmac playground, courtesy of your pipelining, beer swilling, side boom operator, Uncle Frank. Entire mountain ranges have been created out mole hills and countless hours of red tape have been examined with a high powered magnifying glass but it doesn’t have to be that way. Reflecting back to the unofficial grade four textbook of social interaction in the chapter of ‘conflicting opinions’, let the supervisors, managers and inspectors to their own devious devices and do what the kids do; go right to the source of the problem and deal with it head on. The boss saves on paperwork, you save face and I’d like to think we’ve become a civilized society where most issues can be rectified over a beer and a handshake without having to call in the heavies.
3. Ask before Borrowing Rule. Many a parent have instilled this rule into the moldable minds of their offspring while incorporating the ‘do as I say and not as I do’ law unto themselves. I’ve lost more power tools and have witnessed the disappearance of the majority of my Ratt cassette tapes (that’s right, I like the cassette) all because of some half naked, three quarter’s drunk neighbor felt it was their right to use my cordless drill ‘for just a second’. You wouldn’t try that trick in elementary school because it was acceptable to have your fingers glued together and incidentally, I still own several half used glue sticks that were borrowed and promptly returned from back in a time I call the 80’s. But this is the grown up world where the stakes are bigger and the would be borrowed items bigger and therefore maybe we could use Krazyglue instead.