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Q…It was yesterday in 1908, a German housewife Melitta Bentz created this now common product by using her son’s school blotting paper.  A patent was awarded to her later that year.  What was it?

A…Coffee filters!

You know you drink way to much coffee if your eyes stay open when you sneeze, and you chew on other people’s fingernails.

Boomer

Half of Earth’s life is underground.  While astronomers scour the skies for signs of life in outer space, biologists are exploring an enormous living world below the surface of the Earth.  Scientists estimate that half the living material on our planet is hidden in or beneath the ocean or in rocks. 

As well, soil, tree roots, mines, oil wells, lakes and aquifiers on the continents.  They call it the “subsurface biosphere”, a dark world where the sun and stars don’t shine.  Some call it Earth’s basement. 

Stop me if you’ve heard this one.  A young girl is walking through a museum and she notices some dinosaur bones.  She asks the worker…”How old are those bones?”.  He says…”1 million, 250 thousand years, and 61/2 weeks.”.  “That’s amazing”, the young girl said.  “How can you be so precise?”.  “Well, they were 1 million, 250 thousand years old when I started working here 61/2 weeks ago”. 

Boomer

There is a support group called Abduct Anon for people who believe they’ve been kidnapped by extraterrestrials.  Are you about to be abducted by aliens and subjected to medical experiments?  Or has it happened already?  Here are the top 10 signs that Abduct Anon and other UFO groups say you should be on the watch for.

1.  LOST TIME:  A period of time, from minutes to several days, in which you cannot recall what happened to you or what you have done.

2.  UNUSUAL MARKS:  On your body like scars, scoop marks, laser cuts in series on ankle, wrist or back.  Any scars which you’re unable to explain where you got them from.

3.  TAPPING OR HUMMING NOISES:  Hearing these sounds upon odd occasion such as bedtime, just prior to sleep.

4.  BEING WATCHED:  A feeling you get, during or just prior to sleep at night. 

5.  SLEEPWALKING:  You wake up in a different place from where you went to sleep and do not know how you got there.

6.  SEEN A UFO:  During your life you’ve seen UFO’s or seen strange lights in the sky.

7.  NEED TO TRAVEL:  A strange compulsion to walk or drive to another location without any explanation.

8.  UNEXPLAINED MEDICAL PROBLEMS:  Sudden illness, sinus problems, fatigue, migraines or rashes.

9.  UNABLE TO SLEEP:  You experience insomnia by way of nightmares, dreaming of UFO’s or being devoured by animals with large black eyes.

10.  IMPLANTS:  Your physician or you discover small, strange objects inside your body that cannot be explained.  Common places are hip, ankle, foot, nose or hand.

There are 58 signs in all.  See them at abduct-anon.com

But seriously…what do you call an overweight ET?  An extra-cholesterol…

Boomer

Several Academy Award-nominated films have already earned an important honor:  the “No Animals Were Harmed” disclaimer from the American Humane Association.  Animal safety representatives monitor the use of animals on more than 1,000 productions each year.  This year, the nominated films that kept their animal actors safe include “Avatar”, “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” and “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”.  The winners are recognized with a “Pawscar” - an unofficial, animal-centric spin on Oscar.  And the winner is……

Best Alien Animals: Na’vi “direhorses” - “Avatar”

Best Newcomer Actor:  Neapolitan mastiff named “Uno” - “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”

Best Cameo:  Director Michael Bay’s bull mastiff - “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”

Most Erotic Exotic:  The tiger in “The Hangover”

Biggest Diva:  “Little Bart” the bear in “Did You Hear About The Morgans?”

Best Action Scene:  The dog and eagle in “The Proposal”

Best Chase Scene:  “Hotel For Dogs”

Best Animal Gore:  A man vomitting a cat and a man sacrificing a goat in “Drag Me To Hell”

My neighbour has a strange dog.  Every time a bell rings it goes into the corner.  It’s a Boxer….

Boomer

I’ll brag about the games one last time.  Wow!!  Vancouver did a wonderful job.  We snagged 26 medals.  Five bronze, seven silver, and….FOURTEEN GOLD!!  The world now not only knows about our wonderful athletes, but about our awesome country.

Now…if snooker was an Olympic sport, I’d qualify for London in 2012!!

Boomer

We did it!  The Canadian women’s hockey team grabbed our hearts last night, and our lust for a gold medal.  And they delivered.  We beat the Yanks 2-0 and seized a third straight Olympic gold medal.

Now it’s the boys turn.  9:30 tonight…they take on Slovakia.  Go get em’!!!

What a day it was on Wednesday!  Canada’s 2010 Olympic outlook got really positive thanks to a four medal performance that tied the country’s record for medals won on a single day.

Canada now has 15 medals at the Games, including seven gold.  The Canadians are tied with the US and Germany atop the gold-medal charts.

I guess it’s time for some vodka for Ovechkin.  What an awesome hockey game last night.  The Russians are sent home to await the start of the 2014 Games in Sochi.  Canada moves on to the semi-finals Friday to face either defending Olympic champions Sweden or Slovakia.

What a country!!!!

Boomer

A new study reveals Tiger Woods’ apology for his extra-marital affairs ranked second among celebrity apologies in 2009 and 2010.  The results were based on a series of studies conducted by HCD Research using it’s Mediacurves.com Web site, during 2009-2010.

The studies ranked various celebrity apologies on a scale based on levels of sincerity.  Chris Brown’s apology for assaulting Rhianna scored a 17.2, compared to Woods’ apology, which scored a 7.9.

The scores indicate the percent change in celebrities’ sincerity scores.  Higher scores indicate higher levels of perceived sincerity.  Positive scores indicate an increase in perceived sincerity and negative scores indicate a decrease in perceived sincerity.

Chris Brown apologizing for assaulting Rhianna…17.2%

Tiger Woods apologizing for his affairs…7.9%

David Letterman’s sex scandal confession…4.3%

Governor Mark Sanford apologizing for his affair…3.2%

David Letterman apologizing for Palin joke…-2.3%

Jaimee Grubbs apologizing to Tiger Woods’ wife…-5.9%

John Mayer apologizing for Playboy Interview…-13.6%

My apology to Big Country Bill Hart for comments on his attire Friday’s at Dallas…-53.7%

Oops…Boomer

Gordon Lightfoot is alive and well.  However, yesterday marked the 20th anniversary of the passing of a great icon of the entertainment community. 

Please join KIX 106 as we remember the Pillsbury Doughboy.  He passed away of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly.  He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.  Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.  Butterworth, Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.  The grave site was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.  Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers.  He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.  Despite being a little flakey at times, he still was a crusty old man and was considered a positive role model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, and three children:  John Dough, Jane Dough, and Dosey Dough.  They also had one in the oven at the time of his death.  He is also survived by his father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Boomer

Eight local nurses, a physician and a bio-medical technician from St. Mary’s will be back in Canada next week after spending 2 weeks in Haiti.

Leanne Kidd is the International Outreach Program Coordinator at St. Mary’s and says it was a challenge getting them there, but they all arrived safely.

The medical team are providing direct patient care to those Haitians injured in the January 12th earthquake.  More trips are being planned, and they’re hoping for one a month until December of this year.

You can still help too.  Keep those relief kits and sheets comin’!  The drop off depot is 50 Ottawa Street at Charles, 9-9 Mon-Fri and 9-12noon on Sat.

You can print off a complete list of what’s needed at kix106online.com

Thanks!

Boomer