103.1 Jackfm

MARY AND I HOLDING UP OUR COOL SIGN…WELL WE THINK IT'S COOL LOL

Louuuuuu! (If you’re a Canucks fan you know that’s what you do when Roberto Luongo makes a save). Well I didn’t know that until my friend Mary who is a Producer here at Jack FM gave me the 4-1-1 on all things Canucks! She is a HUGE fan and when I say HUGE I mean she has a collection of Canucks towels dating back to the older logo which she will explain in detail when and how the logo was changed. She probably even knows what size of undergarments the players wear…ok maybe not but her knowledge is extensive and impressive. Then there is me. Having been born in Thunder Bay, Ontario I can tell you all about the Staal brothers, Patrick Sharp etc…but until my first Canucks game I could barely tell you what their logo looked like. I must say seeing the players in person is amazing! You know they’re skating fast and you know they’re good…but WOW to see it in person is so cool!!! I was one of 18,000 fans see them win against San Jose on Jan 21st in Vancouver at the Rogers Arena. This day Roberto Luongo surpassed Kirk McLean for the most wins in franchise history. Kirk’s name and legacy along with other former Canucks is permanently part of the arenas landscape. It was an electric game that had Mary and I jump out of our seats shaking our pom poms (thank you dollar store for carrying green and blue convienently) and waving our sign that we worked so diligently on. We made it on the jumbo tron - unfortunatley before the game not on tv…oh well it was still worth the effort. Some lucky fan won $40,000 in the 50/50 draw….I was hoping he’d do a ‘beer on meeee’ typical movie moment…but sadly no lol. The prices are RIDICULOUS at the game…you have to basically have to take out a small loan for a pretzel and a beverage! But I guess the high prices help pay for all the fancy light show equipment. Being a hockey fan is kinda like being part of an exclusive cult – everyone knows what and when to chant, they all wear the same uniforms and depending on the outcome they all group together to either celebrate or console. So yes…I’m looking forward to my next NHL and Canuck game…this time though I’m bringing my own snacks….what can I say – I’m a cheap Uke

Well…snot, hacking, fever has been a lot of our collective problem for a few weeks. It’s not just those people that hate exercise and only eat fast food that get sick – this we know. People that are usually the picture of health can get sick as well. We all know what to do – wash our hands, don’t touch our face, eat lots of garlic or stand on your head and chant booga booga…(or whatever other superstitions you may have). They had it right back in the good old days. My mom always made me eat REAL food – stuff that grows out of the ground and doesn’t come in a sealed foil bag found in a box with long words written on the side like ‘malodextrolethicinIMGONNAKILLYOUEVENTUALLYdrin’.  She also didn’t let me do gross things like lick the grocery cart handle. NOT that I wanted to do this….but I’ve seen little kids chewing on them when mom or dad aren’t looking and it makes me cringe. True we can’t be germaphobes even though everywhere you look nowadays there’s hand sanatizer being squirted. We need a little bit of bacteria once in a while or we won’t have any immune system. People on the West Coast I’ve noticed are a lot healthier then most Canadians. With the abundance of organic foods at our disposal, yoga and meditation classes on every street corner and beautiful weather you think everyone would always be perfectly healthy. Well I’m not that disciplined…yet…yes the guilt is there. As I write this I’m taking a drink of a latte that probably has about 1000 calories and notice a person jogging by with their perfect stride and that look of ‘nah nah look what I can do and you can’t face’. Ok..so I’m judging a little from jealousy. I think being healthy is about wanting to live your best life…that’s a  little Oprah I know…but it’s true. If being the picture of health and talking about all the hot yoga you do in yer uber cool LuLu Lemon pants as you dream about that yummy sprout salad in your fridge that’s waiting for you is your idea of happiness then more power to ya. But I’m ok with my 12 dollar stretchy pants, and I’m proud to say EXTRA whip cream please! on my hot chocolate and toss in a cake pop woulja(sometimes just to watch the horrified face of that person that just ordered a chic skinny non-fat latte with a gluten free organic granola poop loaf…their just jealous cause they can’t breakaway from their strict regime once in a while. I LOVE being healthy but not 24/7. Plus right after the holidays I think yer brain needs to break away slowly from all that sugar and fat..hmm maybe tomorrow I’ll walk those few blocks to the coffee shop instead of driving …and this time I’ll have a skinny latte….you just gotta take it one ‘sip and step’ at a time

YUM BUT BAD FOR YOUR BIG BUM

My Mama's poppy seed and chocolate whip cream strudels

Happy post-Christmas! Mama Mia…hold on I’m not Italian I’m Ukrainian/Polish so it’s oi yoi yoi my tummy! Visiting my hometown of Thunder Bay over the Christmas holidays was good and bad. Good for seeing friends and family again..bad for my waistline. EAT EAT EAT!!!! This came at me from my mom, Godmother, aunt, cousins, friends etc…feeding me as though I was a starving child! Well if you’re European you get it. Plus going out with friends I haven’t seen forever it was this restaurant to the next! So like many of us I get all ‘gung-ho’ about getting to the gym for the new year(btw I signed up for a gym membership over a month ago and haven’t gone once). I’m not proud of my procrastination but I’m proud of the fact that I’m not giving up on believing in me getting there….eventually…soon…not today though…stop bugging me! I’m busy doing laundry ok and….OH ZIP IT! Ok..ok…ok…FIIINE I’m PROCRASTINATING and it’s eating me alive! Wahhhh…Too bad that’s just a figure of speech ’cause if guilt could eat me alive I’d ask it too eat off the flubber that came with mama’s delicious perogies, poppy seed cakes, cookies, wine & chocolate (from all those people who don’t know what to buy you so they think…Hmmmm I KNOW!!!! SUGAR I’ll buy Dee LOTS N LOTS OF SUGAR!!!! Gee thanks – next time add a liposuction gift certificate with that gift okey doeky? Ya well those friends didn’t hold me down and force feed me all that junk…although that does sound like a great alibi for those that always ask me…”Soooo when ya coming to the gym??” I just tell them it’s a simple math equation….Pot of Gold sweet gooey goodness and sitting on the couch +1 – Dee’s strength at resisting it +1 + 0 times to the gym = crying into a bucket of Ben and Jerry’s. But yes – this weekend to the gym! Oh no…hold on though…this Saturday is Ukrainian Christmas….&$*%& that’s ok my gym pants double as ‘holiday eating spree pants’…hmm maybe someone should market those??? Yatta!

I began talking in the womb…no really…apparently there was a lot of muffled babbling going on according to my mom and no one has been able to shut me up since. I carried arround a big clunky tape recorder that I would read the comics into or sing and even interview the kids at recess. I was either doing that or listening to my dad’s old record collection. I would sprall out on our very 70′s orange and red shag rug in the basement and listen to everything from Patsy Cline to KISS. On a hot summers night I’ll still throw on a Johnny Cash record or put in a Freddy Fender (aka “the Texas Tornado”) 8- Track on my now ‘vintage’ stereo and sing Wasted Days and Wasted Nights at the top of my lungs. To add to the nostalgia, I’ll kick back with an ice cold glass of Dr.Pepper and swirl the ice around with a red Twizzler that I’d bitten the ends off and turned into a straw. Yup…never said I was normal. In fact I have a sign that reads ‘normal people scare me’. So really I’m in the perfect buisness…I get to talk, listen to music, pretend I’m a rockstar and act forever young. The only difference now is that I may throw a little sumin’ sumin’ in with my Dr.Pepper while I sprall out on a tasteful chenille shag rug….ok…’tasteful’ and shag rug may be an oxymoron but it’s purple…and cute. Ok…I’ll admit it…I lost this arguement at shag rug.

How cool is this… Canada Post now has an APP to let you upload a pic and msg and create a postcard they will send out…

Well it’s cool til someone takes a pic of you after too much egg nog passed out under the Christmas tree wearing only a bow and sends it to your grandma… APP carefully this holiday season!

CLICK HERE!

~Tarzan Dan & Dee~ Your Morning Hi-JACK!