http://www.jackfm.ca

Hope everyone has a safe and fun Halloween!

Some costumes are cute, some funny, others clever and of course there’s the scary ones. This however is the scariest of all.

Leading up to today people could visit the Jack site and download ‘Matt and Eric’ masks to cut, affix to their face and scare the hell out of neighbors.

I’m not sure which is more frightening, the fact someone actually did this or the visual of Eric and I rock climbing!

Thanks Denise Perry Bull!

Keep your fingers crossed for Tim. And pray for Sabina!

An impromptu fun game show wrapped up this morning called ‘Take one for Kravitz’. Our challenged (in many ways) music director here at Jack, Tim Schutz has been celibate for longer than he cares to remember and it hasn’t been by choice. We decided to adopt this project with the age old custom…if you can’t succeed with charm, looks and intelligence….bribe!

Up for grabs was a front row seat for the Lenny Kravitz concert. The down side being that the other seat would be occupied by Tim’s flat butt as the winner (loser) would have to go as his date.

I must admit surprise by the number of gals willing to become this martyr. There was no Joan of Ark, but there was Niki, Tina and Sabina who came in this morning to suffer through a dating game and the unenviable chance of spending a night with what’s his name. In the end, Tim chose Sabina who seemed elated to learn she’d be front row even if with Tim. This elation however soon diminished when I produced a pair each for Niki and Tina, 4th and 5th row respectively!

Have fun kids!

Kelly, Niki, Matt, Tina and the happy couple Tim and Sabina

Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Halloween October 31st? One day, one evening or one hour in fact to shuffle your kids around the neighborhood to collect spoils to spoil. The history of which nobody can quite put their finger on. Yet, somehow Halloween has become a week or two. We long ago accepted Christmas isn’t just one day but rather three months. How did Halloween fall into the same trap?

It all started a couple of weeks ago when I succumbed to the ‘suburb competition’. One house is suddenly decked out with scary paraphernalia and then it is indeed fear that rocks the rest of us on the street to play catch up. Then comes the carving of the pumpkin. Long gone are the days you can cut out 3 holes, plop it on the step and say “That looks great!”. This year the trip to the grocery store to buy the perfect gourd also required a book of stencils and cutting accessories. Since Liam’s favorite refrain of late is “GO FLAMES GO” we went with the flaming ‘C’ for the pumpkin. Did I say “we”?…..that would be me after 6 hours, 3 band-aids and 1 bottle of Tylenol.

When I was a kid!!!!!! My parents sent me out as a chimney sweep….every….single….year. Dad’s old clothes rolled up, dirty hat, coal on my face and a broom. “What am I?” I’d ask the first couple of years. “Why you’re a chimney sweep of course and you look perfect!”. Obviously I didn’t know what a chimney sweep was and just assumed it must have been a very important vocation in my parents time. Only later did I realize that my parents weren’t around in the seventeen hundreds and this costume charade was just easy and cheap.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago when it was imperative we get a ‘Lighting McQueen Pit Crew Outfit’ complete with lights and race car sound effects at the push of a button on the collar…before they all run out. Then last night was the all important dress rehearsal complete with video recording when he tried on his outfit and staged photos for Grandparents with the pumpkin. For you keeping score, this was October 28th, not the 31st!

Glad I got that out of my system. But you can probably guess it’s just me practicing for what I hope to be someday….a grumpy old man.

Truth is, I’m loving every minute of what will be the first Halloween he’ll remember. Carving the pumpkin was great fun for us. It was me who insisted on the costume and forced the pics and vids.And much to Paige’s dismay, it was me who said “Of course you can!, why not?!?!?” when Liam asked if he could sleep in it last night and take cars to bed with him.

Matt

Your turn

A study has been released that finds (no shock) that parents lie to their kids at least once a day. Parents said they lied to “protect their children or because they didn’t know the real answer to the question. In fact the survey calculated that parents tell their offspring 3000 white lies while growing up.

Listeners this morning shared ones they remember to this day.

- Spinach makes you stronger
- Too much TV. will make you cross eyed
- Mom and Dad are just wrestling
- If you let go of that shopping cart a bad man will steal you
- If you touch the plants they’ll day
- You have to learn French or you’ll never be successful
- Stop picking your nose or your head will cave in
- School will be the best days of your life

Lies? Sure. Important life lessons? Certainly

Have a great weekend!

Matt

Your turn

Allow me to first say that I am not a ‘snooper’. Even couples should have some individual privacy within the marriage dynamic. However, when I found what I did yesterday, I was crushed. In a split second so many thoughts when through my head and none of them good.

“How long has this been going on?….Why didn’t she tell me?…..Could her friends possibly know?….My God!, do the kids know, have they walked in on her while she was engaged in the hideous depraved act?.

Well setting up the PVR and seeing what we had taped and have yet to tape, I came across something the will forever be seared in my troubled mind.

Paige tapes ‘Ghost Whisperer’.

So many years together, so much honesty and grand experiences, so much loving T.V. time memories came crashing down with this revelation. My wife watches and obviously enjoys ‘Ghost Whisperer’?!?!?!?!

What to do now is an all consuming question in my mind. Should I confront and risk a marriage dissolving argument? Maybe it’s my fault and I should somehow take responsibility for this perversion. I coil at the thought of her suggesting maybe I join in sometime. There must be counseling we could enter as I’m afraid this may be a ‘gateway show’. What should happen if this addiction spirals down to ‘Dancing with the Stars’ or the new ’90210′? I don’t know what rock bottom is!

Help me please!

Matt

Your turn

While out for dinner on Saturday night with Paige, I met my lost brother! We met a great couple who approached us. Aaron told me how he often gets questions from strangers about the station and the show. Apparently many think he looks like me. You be the judge as I’ve included a pic.

I don’t think Paige thinks he does because she said he looks like Tom Cruise. That’s a comparison she has never made with me!

Great meeting you Aaron and Jodi! Aaron runs a great business called ‘Estate Yard Care’.

Hey it’s a Bonus Code : DOPPLEGANGER

Yesterday we were talking about ‘banned words in the household’. I couldnt help but want to share a very cute email I received.

Good Morning Matt, my story is about my youngest Son, who has Autism.
He hates the words Stupid and shut up.
During an assembly when he was in grade one, the Principle was telling a story and said “shut up the book”
Well my Son stood up and said “excuse me that is a bad word”, we laughed so hard.

Another time my Son said a very bad word, it was the first time I ever heard either of my boys swear and the only thing I could think of was what my Dad used to say, so I said ” if you say that word again I will wash out your mouth with soap” well as my Son is far more intelligent than I, he said “solid or liquid soap”
God I love that boy.

Thanks for letting me share
Trish

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving weekend and enough leftovers to last til Christmas!

The highlight of ours was Liam’s first Stamps game. Although I stayed home with Beck, just hearing about it and his excitement was like being there. Paige had him practicing “Go Rider’s Go!!!” for days prior and he used every chance to scream that at the game. Yes, my lovely bride is from Saskatchewan. And yes, I knew that prior to getting married. And yes, she actually is lovely.

Here’s a pic from the game with Grandpa Thomlinson.

Maybe I should consider banning “Go Rider’s Go” in the house. This morning we fell into a conversation about words/terms that we weren’t allowed to use growing up.

Eric started with- crap and loser

We weren’t allowed to ever use- shut-up, should and shouldn’t. Oh, it was also frowned on to say “Ralph Lauren”. As in….”Why don’t you ever buy us any Polo…”

Here’s some other’s that callers offered up- Pissed, Can’t, Fart and Like.

Matt

Your turn

Cliché I know. But for years, the Friday into Thanksgiving we take calls and people share what they’re thankful for.
It always generates some great stories and shines a light on positive people and situations. It’s a nice counter the dower news of the day and our sarcastic take on things.
With this new medium (blog), I’d love to have you pass on who or what you’re thankful for and I’ll read on the show tomorrow!

matt

your turn

Maybe I don’t want to be a ‘Hockey Dad’ if the inevitable happens. That being, you turn into the world’s biggest idiot. Although at this stage my hockey-dadness is relegated to taking shots with Liam in the driveway and yelling “Scores!” when he does so as it elicits laughter and high fives. Is that innocence the start of a road that leads to the jackass Eric was talking about this morning.

He related a story about a Dad and son moment he saw at a rec centre this past weekend. In the hot tub ‘Hockey Dad’ all of the sudden starts quizzing his 7 year old son using his hand as an imaginary chalkboard. “Ok, during a breakout, where should you be to get the pass and move up ice!?!?!?!?!?”. The son was more interested when he could get back in the pool and play with that plastic squiggly thing. Later, Eric and family found themselves sitting beside ‘Hockey Dad’ with his son, plus Mom and two daughters in the lounge. The poor girls of the clan were no doubt eyes rolling when ‘Hockey Dad’ cleaned an area on the table and resumed lecture. “Ok, how should your stick and you be positioned to take a one-timer?”. Son’s response? “Can I have cheese pizza?”

It’s easy to suggest ‘Crazy Hockey Dad’ was obviously the last one picked for any team while growing up and now is planning to ‘make it’ through his son. We asked this morning how common this stuff is. Apparently this loser isn’t alone. A coach of an atom team told us about being sucker punched this past weekend in the dressing room by a Dad. This came after a tirade of ‘F-Bombs’ in front of 9 years olds. More callers suggested there is always at least one on every team.

Off to sign up Liam for ballet classes today. Surely ballet Dad keeps a cooler head, atop his painful embarrassed expression.

Matt

Your turn