http://www.jackfm.ca

Please keep the fact I’m posting pics of Paige hours after giving to birth to yourself. Knowing I did this may have her chasing me around the house threatening various unspeakables. That said, don’t worry about it as she isn’t running anywhere in awhile.

I’m beyond excited to introduce you to the latest O’Neill. Beck was born Friday morning and came in at impressive 8lbs-7ounce. He’s already asked Liam for an arm wrestle. Smart money is on the young upstart.

Thanks to Dr. Chow and the great folks at Rockyview we had a wonderful experience yet again. Mom and baby came home Sunday and everyone is doing great. Liam has had months of ‘prep work’ that he’s going to be a big brother so is excited to finally have this mystery being in the house. That said, he’s shown just passing interest while dragging me outside for our ‘slurpie walks’ and playing in his pool. He did however awake this morning with “where’s Beck?” Being his first words which was very sweet.

Although I’m off for the week (a very relaxing vacation I’m sure you can imagine…..in fact I’m currently in Wal-Mart parking lot on a run for a list of things I haven’t heard about and had forgotten about since Liam arrived…..and in that this is a family site….I won’t categorize………

(Oops sorry for that break….but I had to ask where ‘nipple cream’ is)

As I was saying, gone for the week but will try to keep up the blog as much as possible.

Ex-lax is where? Oh, ok…thanks

Matt

Your turn

How did so many know it was my 38th today? Oh, ya…i mentioned it several times and sent out advisories.

Thanks to those to phoned to wish me a Happy B-Day and those that emailed. No thanks to you sent ‘e-cards’. Nothing says “I could care less about you and your stupid day” than an e-card.

On the show this morning Eric gave me such a beautiful gift that really spoke to my heart and our friendship. I think the pic illustrates my excitement. I guess it’s true that once you have kids, no longer are your special days ‘yours’!

Another morning wandering the halls in golf gear, looking like a knob as the rain pours down. Eric and I just cancelled our game for today. Tell me how good a friend he is when in complete seriousness he said “How bout Friday?…Friday works for me”. Well, I guess it could for me as well if a couple of things fall into place. First, our scheduled C-Section for 9am Friday would have to be postponed for a few hours because there’s a more need Mom needing emergence surgery. Second, from the the hospital bed, Paige would have to say “Sure babe, go ahead, I’m sure we won’t be going in for a few hours, maybe just play 9″. That is to say, I won’t be golfing Friday. It’s also been pointed out more than once that once kid 2 arrives, I may never golf again.

If you have any other warnings/tips with how life changes with the second child, please share as the countdown is on.

Allow me to applaud Paige in this public form for something that has other gals I know rather shocked. Her and I are going golfing tomorrow. That would be two days prior to giving birth. Yup, that’s why I married her. Although I just suspect I may not be out for awhile, Paige knows she won’t so once to get a last minute game!

Your turn

matt

What a party this morning. Holly won herself a 2003 Dodge Caravan.

And some other guy won his shoes.

And everyone enjoyed bacon and tang. This is just how we roll.

Look who stopped by.. Compassionate boss guy.

And JACK’S Cartoon Guy – Kevin LeBlanc.

Click here for more photos!

Your turn.

This morning’s show seemed to take on a life it’s own focused on ‘to spank or not to spank’. Spawned from two stories in the news, one being the Senate passing a bill to have spanking be deemed criminal, the other had a Judge in Quebec find in favor of a 14 year old girl who took her Dad to court because he grounded her.

Eric and I, being parents of kids far below the age where a good sound beating would be acceptable in any country, were left to wonder what discipline measures are left. ‘Time-outs’ seemed to be the method applied by most callers. As an aside, I’d like to point out that when I was a kid the only ‘time-out’ was for my father, to give his hand time to heal!

A lot of parents suggested that the removal of the kid’s currency is even more effective than the time out. That being the removal of what they covet most, be it toys from younger ones to computers and cell phones from the older and technologically advanced. The practice of grounding doesn’t seem to be a big hit as it punishes parents as much as kids as you’re stuck in the house for the duration just to enforce the penalty.

And yes, although not socially acceptable these days, more than a few not only admit to spanking their kids but applaud it and seemed almost giddy in explaining where and why they do. I’d like to say I’ll never spank my kids but I’m not high and mighty enough to make it a promise at this point. As I eluded to, I was spanked and look how well I turned out!!!!! Ok, so there’s that damned recurring tick but that’s about it.

Tomorrow is our big party and we hope to see you! How can you say no to free bowling, bacon and tang, probably balloons and the chance to not only win a car but a pair of used bowling shoes. It’s Jack’s 5th anniversary and the entire crew will be there including the ‘Matt and Eric Morning Show’ live! That part really isn’t too exciting, but Dug Joy frying up candy-bacon is. Join us from 6 to 10 am at the ‘Bowling Depot’ in ‘Deerfoot Outlet Mall’

Matt

Your turn

Thanks to you who called this morning and offered tips on ‘teaching the kid how to ride a bike’. I had grand plans going into yesterday with my son Liam. Although many callers this morning said it was too early, for quite some time ‘my advanced child’ has been fascinated with the other kids on bikes and actually says “I want a bike..please”. And yes, I’m one of those pathetic Dads. No sooner is “I want” out of his mouth and I’m off to Canadian Tire or Toy r Us.

One of my earliest memories is my Father teaching me how to ride a bike and I can remember it vividly to this day. Full of optimism and romanticism thinking I’d be steering him through another rite of passage, it became painfully obvious I’d have to wait another day. Our parents didn’t have to deal with the ‘helmet factor’. We’d ride and ride and ride with our skull held high and unprotected. We’d take on paths through trees and ramps on the sidewalk without a single parent screaming from an open window “Where’s your helmet?!?!?!?!?!’. But alas, times have changed and obviously kids heads are softer because a helmet-less kid on a bike results in you doing some explaining to ‘child services’.

There’s nothing I could do yesterday to convince my boy to wear the life saving device. Despite my inner-voice that wanted to say “I agree with you kid….and I never wore one”, there’s the issue of someone seeing my evil neglectful deed and reporting to Paige. My fate, with her and that knowledge would be far more painful and lasting than what I’d get from authorities.

And life in the burbs, as many of you know, is not a life of secrets. There’s many an eye and at the oddest times. When hanging out around the house on weekday afternoons I find myself running into people (and inane conversations about flower beds) and wondering why don’t they have jobs? But I quickly catch myself recognizing that I’m home too. This leads me back to there’s always ‘eyes’ and what I like to call ‘The March of the Nannies’. It’s a very organized practice that happens twice a day. Midmorning and Midafternoon a group of Nannies, with swanky baby carriages in tow gather at the end of the cull-d-sac. And then….THEY’RE OFF!” They use the road rather than the sidewalk. I imagine the forced single-file-ness of the sidewalk would make conversation far too difficult. Conversations I’m quite sure centre around who’s employer is worse and who’s kid is uglier.

Yesterday, as the ‘March of the Nannies’ passed, I was wearing a hockey helmet. I thought that may help convince Liam to do the same….it did not. Bike was on it’s side, kid was saying “no” to helmet with authority and a grown man has his hands in the air losing a fight with an infant while wearing hockey gear in the 25 degree sunshine. I’ve never seen ‘The March’ stop before, but this time they did and talked excitedly amongst themselves. Before yesterday I would have no idea how to say “Look at that stupid geek with the funny hat” in Pilipino……but now I do.

Matt

Your turn

The countdown is on and I dare say we’re all a tad giddy here at JACK. Giddy is not a word I’m normally comfortable with, but it’s applicable. Next Friday we celebrate our 5th anniversary and you’re invited! Ok, so we actually forgot it was our anniversary so we’re having a 5 year, 2 month and 20 day anniversary. Obviously, being the huge juggernaut we are, no expense is being spared to say thanks to you for listening over the years. A decadent breakfast of bacon and tang, someone will win a 5 year old Caravan with just shy of 200,000 kms and a very lucky listener will walk away with free bowling shoes!

Friday June 20th from 6-10am ‘Matt and Eric in the morning’ will be live from ‘The Bowling Depot’ at Deerfoot Outlet Mall! Can’t you just smell the excitement? And various other things.

A great weekend to all fellow Dads and I hope your Father’s Day is what you hope it is. I’m not hoping for a tangible gift so much. My buddies have decided Saturday is a boys night out. In that ‘Miracle #2′ arrives in a couple of weeks, it’ll be our last chance for awhile. When asked what I’d like for Father’s Day, I simply requested “Dark room and remote”

I’ll leave Dads with a cute video. I know, I know, I’ve railed against people who direct you to cute or funny vids. But trust me, it’s worth a quick look and I defy you to deny you had an involuntary laugh. Click Here.

The delusion or stupidity of the Calgary golfer never ceases to amaze. Before you take offence, if you are one, this is a personal observation of self more than anything. Five rounds in the last couple of weeks have been cancelled due to the rain. I’m not sure if you noticed, so to bring you up to speed, it’s been rather damp around here.Yesterday a couple of buddies, Chad, Patrick and I decided we would not be detoured despite the ominous sky. Strangely, we couldn’t find a forth willing to go. Off to Speargrass (speargrass.ca) we went, as we’re all fans of that course.

Approaching the clubhouse is where the afore mentioned delusion takes hold of a Calgary golfer’s brain and sense of reality. Winds were 235 kms (approx) and it became obvious there wouldn’t be any holdups on the first tee as we were the only ones there. Learning this we high-fived and congratulated each other on our good choice to come out this day.

The Calgary golfers warped sense of reality is manifested in the way we describe what would be clear to anyone else. For us it wasn’t raining…it was a refreshing cool mist. Sure beats our rounds in Phoenix last month…waaaaaay too hot! The wind makes it a fun challenge. I’m so excited I get to try out my new thermal water proof golf gloves. Golf in any weather is better than a day in the office. I have trouble with fast greens….so these ones are perfect! The entire round is spend spitting out these platitudes (as well as dirt and grass from out mouths) trying to justify to each other that we’re really not as dumb as we must look.

Oh sorry, did I say round? Not quite, we bailed after nine and headed to the ‘Kilt and Caber’ for lunch. Once there we droned on about how smart we were to stop when we did.

Matt

Your turn

You may recall a while back we talked about a great initiative of the ‘Calgary Food Bank’ called ‘empty bowl’. Local personalities are asked to paint a bowl that is than auctioned off on line through the Food Bank’s website. Thousands of dollars raised to help ensure no Calgarian has empty bowl and goes hungry.

I never did find out who bought my fine piece of artistry, until yesterday that is. It was a mix of emotions when I found out who it’s new parents are and with pictures I can even see my bowls smiling face. It seems to be having fun (check out camping pics) but it still stings my heart knowing that I made this precious gift then had to give it up after spending at least 10 minutes together.

Cathy and Teresa of ‘Dewey Feedom & Howe Catering’, please take good care of bowl and don’t run down my name when it gets old enough to learn you’re not the original parents.

“Enough rain for ya?”…..”Great for the lawn”…..”The farmers need it”…..”at least you don’t have to shovel it”. All these statements are now cause for a sound beating. This morning our good nature in regards to the never ending rain has reached it’s breaking point, and Ma Nature is in our crosshairs.

Click here for MEMO TO MOTHER NATURE.

Matt

Your turn

The ‘Push Gift’ caused some debate this morning on the show. I (should have known better) mused aloud on if I have to get Paige a Birthday gift as well as a push gift. So you know, baby is due a day after Paige’s Birthday. Kelly said two gifts will be mandatory. Donnie (the one without a filter between his brain and mouth) had never heard of a push gift and when explained to him, he responded with “That’s stupid. Isn’t giving birth her job?”. Well, Mr. Sensitive is still taking calls as we speak from rather irate gals. Although a couple of people came to his defense in suggesting expecting a gift for bringing a miracle into this world is just a new made up gift grab idea!

I received a text from my bride that I’ve pasted here:

Push gift, birthday gift….cute bit.
But since there’s no pushing….do I get stomach ripped open then stapled closed gift? Hee, hee! Teasing of course. My gift is miracle #2, healthy baby boy.

As sweet as that sounds, I think it’s entrapment. That is to say, yes I’m sucked into getting a ‘Push Gift’. Any suggestions?

Eric’s stay in San Diego to cover the U.S. Open just took what I can assume was an ugly turn. Justin Timberlake was there yesterday. Eric has a crush like a giddy school girl on JT (as the kids and Eric call him). I asked Kelly if there as one person in the world she could meet, who would be? She went with Oprah without a pause. In that I’m not much a celeb worshipper/follower I couldn’t come up with anyone. However, when pressed I’d have to say Kaleb Toth from the ‘Calgary Roughnecks’, because my lawnmower seized up yesterday and when not playing lacrosse he’s my little house boy.

He’s a list of people our callers this morning would love to meet if given the choice of just one;

Sting
Renaldo
K.D Lang
George Clooney
Johnny Depp
Warren Buffet
Mother Theresa
Sam Elliot
Dali Lama
Neil Armstrong
Bill Gates
Dolly Parton
Shania

Pile on with your own now if you wish

matt