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Hoping and trusting you’re all having a great week!

Thanks to all who phoned into the show yesterday with advice on how to tackle my trip. Please take a moment to pray for me today. I’m calling it a ‘boys trip’, but it’s a tad different than what normally garners that title. My party partner this trip is Liam. At 22 months his attention span and want to throw everything that ends up in his hands will make for an interesting flight. In that it’s just he and I, there will be no opportunity for the ‘hand off’. So in advance I apologize to the poor soul that ends up beside us, you are a martyr. I however, am an idiot according to Eric. Not only will we be flying to Toronto on Grey Cup weekend, but also American Thanksgiving meaning there there’s no way I can hope for an extra seat in which to entertain my menace….ummmmm…I mean miracle. Again, pray for me.

The four hour flight aside, looking forward to sharing time with family. We’ll be staying with my parents in Peterborough who (as long distance grandparents) cherish and love every minute they can have with their first grandchild. The trip will also give us a chance to meet my family’s newest addition. My brother Kevin and his lovely bride Melissa have a baby girl Lilly who is being baptized on Sunday. I’ve been honoured with the title of ‘Godfather’ so wouldn’t miss this celebration for the world. I’m also excited to meet the young lady who’s taken pressure off us in Calgary since my parents now have a grandchild close by!

Turns out I wasn’t the only one to shriek “Grosssssssss!” (yes, I said shriek) at the story a friend of Eric’s shared on air with us this week. The family dog recently passed on. How will they immortalize the beloved pet? They’re having a rug made out of it. Yes, a rug…..the dog’s hide, hair and all will serve as a floor covering. All following callers agreed this was somewhat strange, weird and excessive. The best point was made by someone asking what she plans to do with her husband when he moves on.

Your turn

The phones lit up this morning after my rant about one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen. Yesterday, rush hour on the Deerfoot, car beside me, the guy driving was tailing a truck and obviously not driving safe. His problem right? No, in the passenger seat was his gal holding an infant in her lap! The poor child couldn’t have been five months old and the visual turned my stomach. Turns out from our callers this morning, it’s is more prevalent than I would have expected. My first thought was ‘what can I do?..how can I stop them?’ We learned this morning it’s as simple as phoning 911 and reporting them. One gentleman told a story of doing just that and….”The cops don’t screw around…they were behind them in 5 minutes!” Good to hear. It would be better to hear they would immediately brake out the tazer…regardless of what may happen!

Thanks for those of you who take the time to post a ‘comment’ or whatever it’s called:

Very funny story Kim about having a light show twice a year in that you just burned last year’s Christmas tree recently. Please invite us to the next burning…sounds like a good time.

Kevin, regarding your question on when it’s acceptable to watch ‘Christmas Vacation’ under the ‘Yule Rule’ guidelines? We’ve determined that if it shows up on TV and you have nothing else to do, go ahead. But only when it shows up as it’s completely illegal to own a copy. Also deemed illegal….any Christmas movie with Tim Allen or a title that includes ‘Claus’.

Funniest quote of the week: After leaving court this week and finding out he will stand trial on various charges, O.J. Simpson was quoted outside the courthouse saying “I have complete faith in the jury system” Ya Juice, I guess you would….there isn’t a person on earth who could have more faith!

Your turn

Shaw has jumped the gun on the 24-hour Yule firelog, which opens the debate on when you can officially begin celebrating all the different facets of Christmas.
While we have long pushed for an embargo on all things Christmas until Dec. 1, to follow is a detailed breakdown of what you can start when.

MATT AND ERIC’S YULE RULES

Shopping – can start anytime during year, but no one is allowed to brag about being done early.
Purchasing of Danish Butter Cookies/After Eight/Turtles/Pot of Gold – Nov. 23
Baking of shortbread cookies – anytime. (Note: green/red sprinkles can only be added after Dec. 1)
Put up lights – anytime (but can’t be turned on until Dec. 1)
Drinking of egg nog – anytime after the first major snowfall
Christmas tree purchase/decoration – Dec. 1 (coloured trees not allowed)
Wearing of Christmas earrings and socks – Dec. 10
Saying “Merry Christmas” – Dec. 15
Wearing of Christmas sweaters – Dec. 18 (They get one week to embarrass themselves)
Wearing of Christmas ties – never (who wears ties anyways?)

The wreath continues to be a source of great concern. Please note, it’s at the discretion of the lady of the house, who likely keeps it up all year while sprucing it up with various accoutrements of the season. PLEASE NOTE: Use of the word accoutrements is not acceptable any time of the year.

Your turn

matt

While out and about shopping this weekend you’ll undoubtedly come across an older person with a box. They’ll be a little more weathered and stooped then they were when they were 20. But their uniform will be just as crisp and their eyes just as proud. When 20 years of age they were a long way from here knowing they may not come home. They were doing that so that you and I could be out and about shopping this weekend.

Buy a poppy, but more importantly, shake their hand, look into those proud eyes and simply say “Thanks”

If you’re in the southern burbs today and looking to kick off the weekend early, join us at the ‘kilt and caber’ in Mckenzie Towne. If you been listening this week you’ll know that Kelly (to pay off a bill she accidentally skipped out on) will be working as a server. Her kilt is pressed and ready!

Sharon, thanks for suggesting the hiring of ‘Christmas Light’ pros. But I think your boyfriend and I are of the same frame of mind….i can do this just as well!!!….also known as stubbornness or delusion

Jodi doesn’t think the ‘B movie’ is worth it….I took your advice and tonight ‘date night’ we’re checking out ‘American Gangster’. I’ll let you know how the first half is. It should be noted I’ve never stayed awake for an entire movie since ’98.

I didn’t believe you Jill until I saw it for myself! Yes, this is a tad early to be selling real trees. Business wise however, it probably makes sense cuz if you bought one now, wouldn’t you need another by Christmas?

Tee- You’re a show-off

Jim and Carol thanks for your thoughts on ‘Adventure Day’. And I hope you’re right Jim (in that you have 3 sons I’m sure you are….and you’re obviously a great swimmer) that boys just like hanging out with Dad. I sense in Liam that’s true…..until Mom come home! And Carol…love the pet store idea…that’s a plan for next week!

HP, Sorry to have brought up painful memories of you ‘swimming test’ experiences…..That said, even though you just saw the credits of the movie, you don’t happen to recall what it was called do you? (did i mention it’s date night?)

Lastly, Mary-Ellen thank you for the kind words! As for what happens when Liam is old enough to ask me what a ‘swimming test’ is? I’ll just say “Don’t worry about it….you obviously passed”

Have a great weekend friends and thanks for listening to Jack!

your turn

matt

So this buddy of mine…we’ll call him patty.. has recently announced he plans to marry a younger gal. It’s also been announced he has to go for a ‘swimming test’, we’ve decided to call it. Being a good subordinate male he’s made the appointment and received the instructions. What to bring? “video, magazines or your partner if you wish”. This struck us as odd and an uncomfortable setting for a date let alone a ‘swimming test’. Will there be dinner first, candles? And a sterile office setting seems like a tough place for the obligatory ‘post test cuddle’. But callers this morning proved to be old hands at this having gone through the ‘swimming test’, received their badge, and indeed confirm the ‘bring along your partner’ is an option. Most however admitted to going it alone. Not something guys are willing to admit to their loved one in any other context I suggest.

Still no sign of Eric’s clubs. You may have heard that this past weekend a very busy Mr. Francis in a rush to get out of town forgot to close his garage door which remained opened and inviting for the ENTIRE WEEKEND! A self professed keeper of junk, Eric actually seems relieved that only one thing was taken. That said, I’m not sure all of us would use the word “relief” having golf clubs worth 4 grand stolen. Did he phone the cops to report the theft? He couldn’t bring himself to file a report that starts with…”I’m an idiot…”

I look forward to this day (Wed) of the week more than any other, including weekends. I call it ‘adventure day’ with my son Liam. I’d say WE call it it that, but he calls it “Swim, Ball, Truck, Juice or just Da-Da” followed by laughter, as that’s the extent of his vocab. With being done early in the day I’m fortunate to have free afternoons. I make sure each week that any meetings or engagements are never on Wednesdays. So off to pick him now from the day home and it’s off to the Y for swimming, then out for lunch. For any veterans out there of keeping kids entertained throughout the day in our city….I’d love some suggestions for ‘Adventure Day!!’

you turn

Hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend!

Asked what he’s up to this weekend, our boss Gavin responded simply with “Whatever I’m told”, which may some up mine as well…ie. Christmas lights go up tomorrow. However, not to be turned on until Dec. 1st. Anything prior should be deemed high crime. I will admit to at least thinking about ‘hiring out’, after seeing it done by pros on our street last year by at least 5 people. Lazy? sure…but there’s an inherent competition in the burbs that runs the table; from lawns to uncluttered garages and from front porch paraphernalia to Christmas lights. I can’t compete with the pros and it’s evident with my inferior light show. But, there’s something gratifying about doing it yourself….and the sheer attempt will be buy me a ‘couch Sunday’ and football.

If you heard the show this morn you’ll know we’re trying to help Donnie. Donnie is a gnome like creature we keep in another studio who produces stuff for the show. Well, he’s been quite forthright in wanting to start an ‘office affair’. There’s no candidates yet, it’s in the brainstorming stages of how make it happen. Eric and I, being friends of his and caring for his happiness want to help out. So, if you have any suggestions, please share. And seriously, we don’t think he’s kidding!

Jay, thanks for sharing your 7 year olds vomit story following one too many bars. I’m happy to report that Liam, not yet two, stuck to a couple of smarties and no projectile. But thanks for the vision of what I have to look forward to. That said, his last puking experience came while he perched on my shoulders. I think you know where that ended up.

Kelly, thanks for being a ‘Freeloader’! As for your question on how many people trip prizes are for, always assume trips are for two unless otherwise suggested…ie, “you 9 friends”

Kevin and Deanna, thank for the funny yet sad story of kids simply taking what they wanted for Halloween. Any chance they were dressed as politicians?

Monday morning with ‘Matt and Eric’ we’d love to hear from those of you who checked out ‘B Movie’ and whether it’s worth braving the trip with short attention spanned kids. Ours and those inevitably sitting behind.

your turn

matt