The songstress behind Jingle Bell Rock headliner, Metric, Emily Haines admits she lost her inspiration to write music. Find out how she managed to breath new life into her writing and deliver the band’s best song EVER. 

We’ve all done it; ending an email with a trite cliché like cheers. I don’t know who started it; I don’t know why we keep doing it. But still, if I were to filter out the words Viagra and cheers from my inbox, I wouldn’t get any emails at all. I’m not for a moment suggesting that I’m above cheers, or even that I have an alternative.

Take care or Talk soon do the job I suppose, but they lack a certain sincerity when you’re sending off the 87th email of the day. Why the pleasantry? Why is it so gauche to just stop writing? Why are we SO afraid to write something like “I’m done writing” or better yet, “I’ve finished addressing you”.

Sure it doesn’t quite leave the reader of that email with the warm, fun tone you intended. But every time I type the word, Cheers I die a little inside because

a) I’m not British. I’ve never even been to Britain.

b) I’m not actually raising a glass when I write it. If I had a drink to celebrate every email I sent, I would have blown out my liver the day high-speed internet was invented.

So why cheers? The other one I see quite frequently is Ciao. I’m not hip, nor am I Italian. I am Canadian. We practically invented pleasantry and manners. Do we really not have our own, distinctly Canadian pleasantry for wrapping up an email?

The infamous Chinese Food Gag is now on Youtube. 

Special thanks to SONiC Boy, “baggedmilk” for the video accompaniment.

Disturbed plays a SOLD OUT show, December 2nd at the Shaw. Today on the show, we talked to drummer, Mike Wengren. Hear crazy tour stories, find out which bands they listen to, plus, Mike’s take on Chinese Democracy.

Coldplay singer Chris Martin alluded to a possible breakup for the band. Martin, who is 31, said in a recent interview that he didn’t think the members of any rock band should keep going past the age of 33. Is 33 THAT age? How old is too old for rock. I know ACDC just put out a new album — they’re over 60 years old. Rock n roll is about rebellion and rebellion is the voice of youth. It just doesn’t have the same impact when you’re rebelling against Mashed turnips at the old folks home, does it? 60 is too old and you’ll never convince me otherwise. But 33 years old? Is THAT too old to rock?

The US has its first black president in history. Barrack Obama hasn’t even officially taken office yet and already the first racial slur is out. One of the top leaders in Al-Qaida called Barrack “a black American who does the bidding of whites”. A racial slur from a terrorist: not exactly an insult that carries a lot of weight. Racism is the stupidest, most close-minded thing in the world but still, it happens. I don’t get it.

Remember how Chris Cornell was in studio last week? I was talking with someone who wishes to remain nameless, who mentioned that Chris Cornell’s little dog is racist. His wife and publicist, Vicki who travels with Chris, had their little dog along with them. I heard from sources that the dog growls non-stop whenever someone with dark skin enters the room. Where does that come from? Cornell isn’t overtly racist. He played in Soundgarden with a guy named Kim Thayil, who is of East Indian descent. Some dogs aren’t even smart enough to learn to rollover. I don’t know how you’d even begin training a DOG to be racist. Where does that come from?

I spoke to a lady just the other day who listens to SONiC regularly with her little baby. She told me that every time Rick Lee is on the air (the only Chinese guy on SONiC), the baby cries uncontrollably. The child is just months old and clearly doesn’t understand what Rick is saying. The kid will listen to Garner for hours, but for some reason bursts into tears the moment Rick starts talking. Strange. Strange.

Babies and pets… nature’s racists.

The new James Bond movie, Quantum of Solace took in $70-million opening weekend. <It’s understandable why the Bond films are so successful. Guys like the action and the explosions. Women are all hot and bothered for the International Man of Mystery.

As a man, I don’t understand the appeal of the later. An INTERNATIONAL man of mystery would have you packing and unpacking suitcases constantly. Every time one of those bombs went off, you’d get all dusty. It wouldn’t matter that you JUST finished doing your hair.

Between the urban chases, and being shot at all the time, you’d be constantly dressing wounds. You’d be annoyed that he’s always horsing around in his good suit. Sure, you’d buy him jogging suits, but he wouldn’t wear them.

Imagine how many speeding tickets and traffic violations an international man of mystery would collect. Would you wanna be in the passenger seat applying your mascara? Not to mention, his car insurance would cost more every month than your mortgage. Life with an international man of mystery isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, is it?

Surely the local man of brutal honesty is a far better choice; the charming agoraphobic who isn’t afraid to say you DO look fat in those pants.

2,100 Canada Post workers hit the picket lines in a dispute over disability and family-leave benefits early Monday. Is it just me, or does this always seem to happen around the holidays? You can play all the Christmas music you want at the department stores, set up Toyland in middle of the mall, Santa’s sleigh can be parked on my roof, but to me, it just isn’t Christmas until I see picket signs in front of the post office.

I made a startling discovery in the field of belly button lint research! In order to make it easier to apply the body paint for this year’s Halloween costume, I decided to Nair my chest hair — remove it using some goo I found at the drug store. That’s when I noticed… no more belly button lint! Not that it was a big problem, but I’ve spent a lot of my life researching belly button lint and I was absolutely fascinated!

Why do guys get it worse than women? I always hypothesized that little belly hairs brush your clothing throughout the day, combing stray fibers loose, which then come to rest in the most convenient place; the navel.

I was planning to test that theory by outfitting a handful of women with a small piece of sandpaper to stick above their belly buttons and then comparing them to a control group to then determine if my hypothesis was in fact correct, but I now see that is unnecessary.

I think the next belly-button lint-related experiment will be to determine why it’s always blueish-green, regardless of what color you’re wearing.

It’s starting to get chilly out so I went to the mall earlier this week to grab a couple of sweaters. The Christmas music is playing. The decorations are up. It was like I walked into Santa’s workshop.

I confess, I like to get into the holiday spirit a little earlier than most; first week of December, sometimes last week of November even. I come by it honestly. My mother has had her Christmas tree up for almost a month already.

It seems to me like when you see the decorations up too early at stores, it’s as though retailers are trying too hard — like they’re being greedy. It seems to have the opposite effect on me. For instance, when I hear Boney M in December, it makes me smile. When I hear it in November, I wanna go on a violent killing spree through toyland. That’s normal, right?

How soon is too soon to start putting up your Christmas tree?