May 16th, 2012 by joel.lamoureux
May 8th, 2012 by joel.lamoureux
I’m in mourning today. We received a gorgeous house warming gift from a friend. It was a large vase with stones lining the bottom along with a water lily that sits on the top. You fill it with water, the water lily roots hang inside and then you place a fish inside the vase.
Yesterday afternoon I get home and the little fish is swimming around….2 hours later I look and the poor little fella is belly up on the bottom. We didn’t even have him for 4 days. I have no explanation. We didn’t even have time to give him a name. Mind you our cat doesn’t have a name yet either and we’ve had him for a couple months. (that’s another story)
So the poor fish is dead and today I’m in mourning.
So I looked up how to get over the death of your pet fish.
- Give your fish a burial.
- If you have things that remind you of your fish, put them in a scrapbook. (all his worldly belongings are with him in his burial site)
- Understand why your fish died. Well….call me crazy…but I think he died because he was stressed out. A cat with a giant face keeps looking at him in the vase. If a giant cat looked through my bedroom window every night when I went to bed I’d be a little freaked out too!
You know, writing this has made me feel better. I’m done the mourning process and I’m ready for a new fish. It’s time for a new fish. How much is pickerel selling for these days? I’m hungry.
May 3rd, 2012 by joel.lamoureux
If your relationship is on the rocks you might be able to fix that. University of Oxford researchers want to create a real life love potion. It’s a pill that would recreate the feeling of being in love.
This pill would biologically manipulate the brain into thinking you really, really, want your spouse. BUT what if you’re in the room with somebody other than your spouse? The girls are over for an Avon party, the guys are watching the hockey game or the neighbor is over to borrow some suger. AWKWARD!
And besides, if you need take a pill just so the two of you can sit on the couch in silence watching re-runs of Two and a Half Men then perhaps the problem is bigger than a stop at the pharmacy.
April 30th, 2012 by Kevin
This past weekend Northgate Shopping Centre held the finals for their “Search for a Star” contest. The 10 finalists performed in front of a massive crowd that crammed into centre court. When all was said and done Angele Leblanc was crowned the grand prize winner thanks to her stunning version of “Hallelujah”.
Not to sound cliche but all of the contestants really are winners. Imagine what its like to get up in front of a group of people and sing your heart out!!! It reminds me of many years ago when my “garage” band performed at our annual high school talent show. To be frank, we didn’t have a whole lot of talent. Our claim to fame was that we had great ampliifiers so other bands would ask us to open up for them just so they could use our equipment. I can remember staring out at the audience, guitar strung over my shoulder (amp cranked to 11) and then my hands just froze. I could barely hit a not. Nothing felt natural and I’m sure it was evident in our performance. Needless to say we didn’t finish “in the money”. However the next day at school we were the act that everyone was talking about. Okay, truth be told, it was more because we smashed our instruments at the end of our set, then our actual musical ability, but sometimes you have to go for the cheap pop. Regardless its a moment I’ll always cherish. I hope all of this past Sarturday’s performers feel the same. The audience made them all feel like stars. And the best part… no one had to break their guitar!!! ~Kevin~
April 25th, 2012 by joel.lamoureux
Conservative cabinet minister Bev Oda said “I’m sorry” apologizes for moving from one swanky hotel in London to an even swankier one where the bill to the taxpayer was more than twice as high.
Ms. Oda was supposed to stay at the high end hotel last June at a British conference but she switched to the another hotel the bill for three nights cost $1,995, or $665 a night. A stay at the original hotel would have been $287 a night.
She got caught though….Oda’s office released a statement that she paid the difference of the two hotels back. Plus a $287 cancellation fee. She also paid back the cost of a $16 glass of orange juice.
But she did not pay back the nearly $1,000 a day that was spent on a luxury car and driver to shuttle her between the conference site and her new hotel. By the way, the conference was taking place at the first hotel she was going to stay at. So all she would have needed to do was get on an elevator.
Oh yeah……as she is spending disgusting amounts of tax payer money on this lavish comfort ($16 glass of OJ) you have to keep in mind that she is the cabinet minister responsible for delivering Canadian aid to the world’s poor.
If your kid came home and admitted they stole something, would you give them a round of applause? Not likely. You’d probably scold them (or more) and punish them. It will be interesting to see if her constituents will ‘punish’ her in the next election!
April 24th, 2012 by joel.lamoureux
I have a friend that was complaining that he can’t meet any single women. He lives in a small town and everybody knows one another, is married or related. The next town is a long way away. I suggested online dating but he’s not a computer guy. It’s 2012…who’s not somewhat computer literate.
If you are from a small town or have lived in one….you know exactly what he’s talking about. It’s tough to date if nobody is single or the pickings are few and far between.
I come from a small town of 600 people. I get it. Try being the fat kid in town….the pool gets even smaller.
Look If your last two dates were with your cousin and your sister…you know it’s time to start look past the town limits for a date.
If the single guys have posters of Susan Boyle on their bedroom wall….you know meeting women might be an issue.
If 9 out of 10 homes have their toilet seats up…..then either your neighbor is gifted or it’s an all boys club.
The last time you used the dust buster was also the last time you got a hickey and you told the boys you got some action on the weekend. That’s tough times.
HOW TO COMPLIMENT A WOMAN
The best way to please a woman is to mention her weight loss, research has revealed. According to the study of 2,000 men and women, ladies love it best when their men say they look thinner than normal. I’m sorry but if you EVER dared to tell a woman she looks ‘normal’ you might end up with some loose chicklets in your mouth!
Also, not adviseable to compliment her by saying she no longer looks fat in those pants.
Top Ten Nicest Compliments
1. You look like you’ve lost weight
2. You have a nice smile
3. You smell nice
4. Nice hair
5. That dress really suits you
6. That color really suits you
7. Love what you’re wearing
8. Your eyes are pretty
9. You look slim
10. You look gorgeous
A gorgeous afternoon Sunday. So nice to see so many people in the yards and out for bike rides and walks. You know there is a hidden treasure that not to many people venture to often enough. Eau Clare gorge. One of the most beautiful spots in the area. If you haven’t gone yet or it’s been a long time you need to get out there to see the cascading waterfalls and the
gorgeous fragrance and scenery.
I went in the fall and yesterday in the afternoon I wanted to show Christina. So we got a coffee and drove the 47 kilometres to the gorge.
It was peaceful……fragrant….woodpeckers and partridge fluttering around. We get out of the car and hit the trail head and starting walking down the trail.
In the distance I can hear the waterfalls and I’m anxious to show her the falls.
We’re 100 feet up the trail when a garter snake moved in the grass. Christina FREAKED….she yelled and the blood completely drained from her face.
She was starting to lose it and tears were starting to come into her eyes….she was having trouble breathing.
That was it…she wouldn’t go a single step further. So….we turned around and walked back to the car. That’s it…the hike was over.
That sucked….but when we got back to the car…she was finally starting to catch her breath and calm down when I jumped back a foot from the car pretending that I saw a snake.
HERE IT HERE
I thought she was going to stab me in the ear with the big stick she was scaring. Here’s the punch line though….I had my little recorder with me and caught it on tape.
So here’s how I can wrap up our trip to Eau Clare Gorge.
2 Hot coffees….$ 4
90 km of driving….. $15
Not going for the hike but scaring the hell out of your partner…..and capturing it on tape to play on the radio….PRICELESS
April 11th, 2012 by joel.lamoureux
The realization that you’re getting a little older can find you in different ways. Maybe it’s thinner hair, or sore bones, or a couple new wrinkles.
On the treadmill and entering info…..I finally broke down and entered my new age on the user info panel. I went from 43 to 44. It’s my birthday next week and I’ve now accepted that I have to enter the new age.
I don’t feel any different and getting older doesn’t bother me but for some reason getting older on the treadmill gave me a little moment. For the first time instead of covering the numbers when I enter my weight I was worried somebody would see how old I was.
Why does getting a little older affect you in such a crazy way? Do you have any advice on staying young? (young attitude, dress younger, stay active, get a hot car)
So other than the greying hair, the sore bones, diminishing vision, a face with more character this whole getting older thing is working out pretty good.