KISS CLUB


I grew up in the 80s.  When I was younger…I was not a popular guy with the girls.  I was always the chubby friend they wanted to confide in.
I’d have this huge crush on a girl and she’d tell me how bad she wants my best friend.  I had my heart squished more times than the melting Oh Henry bar in my jacket pocket. 

But today….I finally had a realization.  I now know why I never had luck with the ladies as a teenager in the 80s.
It wasn’t because I was chubby and shy……it was the music.  It messed me up and gave me all kinds of bad advice.

Seriously….let’s do a case study right now from some of the best songs of the 80s.

Wanted Dead or Alive…… who on earth is going to stick their neck out for love when you could die over it!

Another One Bites The Dust……seriously…….I’m brave….but I’m not stupid.  I know what that means!!

Love Is A Battlefield.  Now just wait a minute.  I thought love was supposed to be hugs and kisses and cuddles.  Nobody said I’d end up with a bomb in my pants.

Hall and Oates….You’re Out Of Touch……..hey….nobody would let me close enough to touch anything.  Believe me….I wanted to touch……

Finally…..Lionel Richie and “Hello….Is It Me You’re Looking For”…..   now that is just cruel.

One time I thought I finally had a date……..she says….Joël……why don’t you come over to my house tonight about 10 o’clock…..There’ll be nobody home.

So I went there at 10 o’clock……and she was right……there was nobody home!!  So Lionel Richie can take a hike……It wasn’t me she was looking for!

I’m sure I’ll get over it someday….I’ve only been carrying it around for 25 years.

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