http://www.kix106online.com

This is hilarity ensued last year with my Puggle (Pug x Beagle) Talullah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_-Ok_8J7qM

She pretty much makes me laugh my face off with her crazy ways everyday, but at this time last year I just happened to have a camera handy.

Along with pumpkins, she also has a problem with skateboards and skateboarders, garbage cans on the curb and people in mobilized chairs. It can get rather embarrassing on our daily walks. Keep in mind this is a dog who is not at all afraid of running alongside 4 horses in the paddock, chasing large swans or geese at the park, or swimming with ducks at the cottage. She tries to make friends with every damn cat she encounters (no matter how many times they hiss, meow and kick her ass.)

But those pumpkins! Watch out for those pumpkins!

Co-worker: “Are you STILL pregnant? Jeez. When ya gonna drop that thing? I’ve seen elephants that have a shorter justation period….” and then he said some more random, STUPID sh*#….

Me: “You do know that I could kill you dead and most likely get away with it right now especially after I tell the judge you used the word “elephant” in conversation with a pregnant woman?”

Co-worker: “Hahahahahahhahahahhahahahahhaa”

Me: “Yeah, I’m not kidding.”

Then I kicked him in the junk smiled a motherly grin and walked away.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474977868406&grpId=3659174697244816

I’m not even ashamed to admit it. Aside from The Dukes of Hazzard, The A Team is probably the best show ever. 3rd Place goes to CHIPS.

***Bonus: Bradley Cooper (from The Hangover) stars in The A Team Remake!!

He’s pretty.

*Sidenote: I really want to watch The Hangover again but am a little aprehensive as my bladder is mucho squisho and may not be able to control itself through all the hysterical laughing.

Happy Monday My Adorables!!

Of course, these pictures are all courtesy of Zaida Baby and it’s incredible creator (and honourary KIX Chick!) Sandy Jamieson.

We had a beautiful day at Victoria Park in Kitchener on Sunday with a ton of sunshine and smiling faces as we shared the park with kids, dogs, moms and dads, ducks and geese. What a charming treasure right in the heart of our fair city. I need to go there more often. It was tranquil and calming even whilst trying to capture the perfect shot.

www.zaidababy.com

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRRkJ95RxIo

But it’s super hilarious. So it’s okay. Really, funny cancels out mean.

Don’t be a hater…I didn’t create the website, I’m just distributing it.

Warning…..it’s offensive. And rude. And addictive.

www.peopleofwalmart.com

The lease on my uterus is almost up. It also means a few other noteable things.

1. I am now shaving my legs and other parts by memory and prayer.
2. I have to write myself notes on my hand (preferrably in red ink) so I remember things. Things you think I’d recall without red ink hand notes such as my dog’s name, where I live and what colour my car is where I parked.
3. I drop my keys (3 times in 3 minutes) in the grocery store line and grunt like a farm animal gracefully bend at the knees to retrieve them.
4. I have to wake up and do a 3 point turn to switch sides in bed. This causes more farm animal grunting sweet sighs.
5. So. Much. Peeing. So. Much. Really.
6. Sometimes when random 50 year old strange men ask me inappropriate things like, “Do you have any stretch marks?” I really want to kick them in the face and call them bigrudeignorantassloserdinkballs instead of smiley sweetly and pretending I didn’t hear them.
7. The crazy dreams. Oh, the crazy dreams. You know, the one where my husband is really an alien who paints my toenails and our toilet is on the roof? Yeah, go look THAT up in the damn dream book.
8. Indulging in all things orange. Orange pop, cheetos, all things pumpkin, carrots and squash.
9. Obsessing about random nonsense serious issues such as organizing drawers, finding lost socks and the Swine Flu. I’m Swine Flu crazy.
10. Studying my naked self in the mirror and praying to God I’ll be able to harness in the new ass, curves,boobs and other fat parts baby blessings after bebe arrives. I’m not sure how God feels about naked praying. But I do it anyway.

Well, that was fun. Thanks for letting me get it off my incredibly ample chest. Now, I’m off to prenatal Yoga to commiserate with all the other pregnant goddesses.

Where the hell are my keys????

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.” -Melody Beattie

He’s 28. Not so little, huh?

Here’s a picture of Darren from this one time when he did a very bad thing:

*Click on the pics for a better looksee!*

Just kidding. He wasn’t really incarcerated. Although at various points during our childhood I would’ve liked to have locked him up.

Let’s get this straight: my brother is the good child. He’s smart, a very talented musician, kind, patient and hardworking. He’s pretty damn close to perfect. You can see how this could be slightly irritating as the troubled older sister of Little Mr. Perfection, no?

But wait!! It wasn’t always this way!  As a young’un, Little Mr. Perfection  my baby brother Darren had a tendency to escape from his crib and let himself out of not only his bedroom, but often the house via the front door. This of course terrified my mother who decided to lock him in his room put bells on his door to gently nudge her from her slumber when the wee Houdini tried to bust out @ 4am.

What did he do during his jailbreaks you ask? Well, you didn’t, but I’m gonna tell you anyway. We’ve already talked about him letting himself out onto the front lawn for a little early morning stroll. He also enjoyed dumping full boxes of cheerios (and a carton of milk) directly onto the floor and trying to eat it with salad tongs. Once or twice he peed in a garbage can. He mastered the art of climbing the brick fireplace and perching himself on the mantle, but never quite figured out how to get back down. A few times a week, he’d choose one of his favourite books (usually one entitled “But No Elephants!”) bring it into my room, smack me in the face with said book (remember faithful readers….it’s 4 AM and my 8 year old self is SOUND asleep) and yell, “Jefffffiner!!!!! Read this to meeeee pwwwwease!”

Oh the little demon darling!

And the ironic part of this tale: The birthday boy’s new daughter sleeps straight through the night. Every night. And has since she was 4 weeks old. Clearly she gets her co-operative spirit from her mother.

Soooooo….as the years went on and I beat him into maturity he transformed into a wonderful young man, we became very good friends. He’s a one seriously funny dude, he married a crazy fun fellow radio broad who loves to drink too much wine with me when we’re both unpregnant wonderfully refined lady:

 and they have the most adorable child I’ve ever ever seen. Not that I’m biased or anything. Here, see for yourself:

He and his wife Becky also sang at our wedding and gave Todd and I the most precious, memorable gift. I cry every time I watch the video. Which is a lot.  Because I’m weird like that.

So the point of all this very flattering baby brother birthday blathering is this;

My brother rocks:

And constant beatings in childhood and good natured ribbings from your older wiser sister actually make you a better person.

Happy Birthday Darren Wayne Campbell. I love you. I am very, very proud to be your twisted sister.

Now, go have some cake and kiss my adorable niece please.

“It needs to become as easy to get hold of a condom in a poor country as Coca-Cola.”  ~Clare Short