Dave won $110 in Cloud 6/49 tickets with the Encore for Wednesday’s draw with THIS joke:

Two blondes were driving down the road beside a farmer’s field, where they saw another blonde paddling a canoe through the field.  One blonde says, “look at that.  That blonde is giving the rest of us blondes a bad rep!”

The other blonde says, “no kidding!  If I knew how to swim, I’d swim out there and give her a piece of my mind!”

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From Club Q Rockstar Mandy…

A wife, sitting at the kitchen table, calls to her husband, “Honey, can you come help me with this puzzle?  I’m having a real hard time.”

The husband sighs and comes into the kitchen.  “What are you trying to make?”

“It’s a puzzle of a rooster,” she replies.

The husband looks at the pieces strewn on the table, looks at the box, looks at his wife, then back at the pieces…”Honey…put the corn flakes back in the box!”

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A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a ‘handywoman’ and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood.

She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do.

‘Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch,’ he said, ‘How much will you charge me?’

The blonde quickly responded, ‘How about $50?’

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need was in the garage.

The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, ‘Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the
house?’

He responded, ‘That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?’

The wife replied, ‘You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those ‘dumb blonde’ jokes we’ve been getting by e-mail
lately.’

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

‘You’re finished already?’ the husband asked.

‘Yes,’ the blonde replied, ‘and I had paint leftover, so I gave it two coats.’

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her.

‘And by the way,’ the blonde added, ‘it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus’

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A dog walked by an office and saw a Hiring sign.  He walked in, went to the boss, and pointed at the sign.  The boss said, “I can’t hire you.  You have to be able to type.”  The dog walked to a typewriter and typed out a perfect letter.

Again, the boss says, “I’m sorry, I can’t hire you.  You also need to be good with a computer.”  The dog walked to a computer and creates a perfect spreadsheet.

The boss says, “I’m sorry, you’re an intelligent dog and all, but I still can’t hire you because you need to be bilingual.”

The dog looked a the boss and said, “Meow.”

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Starting on Monday, the independent film HIGH CHICAGO will be filmed in Sudbury!  As Sudburians, of course we want this movie to be a success…and the folks making the film are appealing to us to help with the filming!

They’re looking for props and extras for the movie…pre-1975 vehicles and other items are being sought out for the movie.  They can be in any condition, and can include vintage delivery and transport trucks, motorcycles, cars, and pick-ups.

Also being hunted are early to late 1960′s appliances: stoves, tvs, fridges, and vintage mining paraphernalia which could include helmets, lights, lunch pails, eyewear, and vinyl jackets.

If you have anything you could lend to the production, or have any further questions, contact Peter Mihaichuk, 705-561-7301 or by email at peter@mihaichuk.com…or Anne Boulton, 705-560-3339 or by email at boulton.anne@gmail.com

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Did you hear about the blond employee who has the computer password “Goofy-Huey-Louie-Dewey-Daisy-Donald-Mickey-Minnie-London?

That’s because the boss told him the password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital.

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So there’s a guy in Toronto…recently he attempted to break the world record for grilling the world’s largest cheeseburger, and is waiting to hear back from the Guinness people about it.  I’ll be talking to him this afternoon at about 3:40-ish about his World Record attempt, and some tips and pointers on how to get the most out of YOUR grill this summer…you do NOT want to miss it!

His name is Ted Reader, and he also has a series of grilling cookbooks out in stores, and I tell ya, they are unbelievable!  This is a man who dedicates his life to cooking and grilling, and his recipes certainly reflect that.  For example:  The Surf and Turf burger…

INGREDIENTS

1⁄2 cup   cream cheese, softened
1⁄2 cup    Brie cheese
1 cup     lobster meat, fresh or frozen (if using frozen, drain)
2 tsp      fresh dill, chopped
1 tsp      lemon juice
Salt and pepper to taste
11⁄2 lb     fresh ground sirloin
1           small onion, finely diced
2           cloves garlic, minced
1 Tbsp   Dijon mustard
1–2 Tbsp Bone DustTM BBQ Seasoning
1–2 tsp  Worcestershire sauce
3⁄4 cup    clarified butter
1 Tbsp   fresh herbs, chopped
1⁄4 cup    ketchup
6           lobster claws
6           leaves hand-leafed iceberg lettuce
1           small onion, thinly sliced
2           ripe tomatoes, thinly sliced
6 Tsp     mayonnaise (optional)       

METHOD

• In a food processor, blend cream cheese until smooth. Add Brie cheese, lobster meat, dill and lemon juice, and season to taste with salt and pepper. Pulse until mixed.

• Form lobster-and-cheese mixture into small patties about 2 inches (5 cm) in diameter and 1⁄2 inch (1.5 cm) thick. Place on a wax-paper-lined plate and refrigerate while you prepare the burgers.

• In a bowl, combine the ground sirloin, onion, garlic and mustard. Season to taste with Bone DustTM BBQ Seasoning and Worcestershire sauce. Mix until well combined.

• Form into twelve 3-oz (100 g), 3- to 4-inch (7.5–10 cm) in diameter patties, pressing each patty firmly to ensure a burger that sticks together. Place burgers on a wax-paper-lined tray and refrigerate for 30 minutes.

• Remove lobster patties from refrigerator. Place one sirloin burger on a flat surface. Top with one lobster patty. Top with another sirloin burger. Crimp edges of sirloin burgers to form a tight seal around the lobster patties. Repeat with remaining lobster patties and sirloin burgers, and freeze for 30 minutes to get everything very cold and to allow the meat to rest before cooking.

• In a small saucepan, over low heat, combine clarified butter, herbs, Worcestershire sauce and ketchup. Stir until mixed. Keep warm.

• Preheat grill to medium-high, 450–550°F (230–280°C).

• Grill burgers for 4 to 6 minutes on one side. Turn over, baste with butter sauce and continue to cook for 3 to 5 more minutes, until the beef is just cooked and the lobster-cheese center is warm and creamy.

• While the burgers are cooking, brush the lobster claws with the butter-herb mixture and grill for 1 to 2 minutes, turning once, until lightly charred and heated through. Brush burgers with butter-herb mixture, turn over and brush with more butter-herb mixture.

• Top with grilled lobster claws.

Assemble Your Burgers! Spread the bottom half of the bun with mayonnaise (optional), place leaf lettuce on top, place burger on top of that and finish with thinly sliced fresh onion and tomato.

Makes 6 burgers 

From Napoleon’s Everyday Gourmet Burgers Copyright © 2010 by Ted Reader. Published by arrangement with Key Porter Books.

As a Club Q Rockstar, this afternoon you have a chance to take home a copy of Napolean’s Everyday Gourmet Burgers from Ted Reader!  Just enter this bonus code before 5:50 today: 

BBQ

You’ll get some Rock Star points as well!

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A clergyman is walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back into a cart after it had fallen off.

“You look hot, my son,” said the cleric.  “Why don’t you rest a moment and I’ll give you a hand.”

“No thanks,” said the young man.  “My father wouldn’t like it.”

“Don’t be silly,” the minister said.  “Everyone is entitled to a break.  Come and have a drink of water.”

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset.  Losing his patience, the clergyman said, “your father must be a real slave driver!  Tell me where I can find him and I will give him a piece of my mind!”

“Well,” said the young man. “He’s under the load of hay!”

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John loved to buy all those gimmicky things that people invent.  One day he came home with a robot that he claimed was a lie detector.  That night, his son Tommy came home 2 hours after curfew.

“Where have you been, Tommy?” John asked.

“A bunch of us were working on an extra credit project,” he replied.  The robot then went around the table and knocked him off his chair.

“Son, this robot is a lie detecting robot,” said John.  “Now you tell us the truth.”

“Okay, sorry.  We went to Bobby’s house to watch the Ten Commandments.”  Again, the robot whacked him clear off his chair.  Lip quivering, Tommy got up, “okay, okay…we watched a tape called The Sex Queen!”

John was appalled.  “Well, I’m ashamed.  When I was your age, I never lied to my parents.”  The robot came around and delivered a whack that knocked HIM off his chair.

Doubling over in laughter, his wife said, “like father, like son!”

Well, that robot done whacked her out the door.

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A new report has come out, and it turns out that here in Sudbury, we have the HIGHEST amount of registered organ donors (tied with North Bay, percentage wise) in all of Ontario!  34% of Sudburians are registered organ donors, compared with 4% of people in Toronto!  With that being said, I INSTANTLY think of the wonderful Monty Python when I read that story:

WARNING:  COMEDIC VIOLENCE AND BLOOD…but it’s Monty Python, so it’s funny as hell!

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BONUS CODE:  LIVER

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For all you RUSH fans in Greater Sudbury…this is freakin’ AWESOME!  The trailer for the new Rush documentary, “Beyond the Lighted Stage” has been released!

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