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I got this e-mailed to me by my good friend, John.  Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.Golf PoemIn My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, And Rather Small.Oh How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere.By Its Size I Could Not Guess, The Awesome Strength It Does Possess.But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I’ve Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell.My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same, Since I Chose To Play This Game.It Rules My Mind For Hours On End, A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend. It Has Made Me Curse And Made Me Cry, And Hate Myself And Want To Die.It Promises Me A Thing Called Par, If I Hit It Long And Straight And Far.To Master Such A Tiny Ball, Should Not Be Very Hard At All.But My Desires The Ball Refuses, And Does Exactly As It Chooses. It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies, And Disappears Before My Eyes. Often It Will Have A Whim, To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim. With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land, It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand.Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul, If Only It Would Find The Hole. It’s Made Me Whimper Like A Pup, And Swear That I Will Give It Up. And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow, But The Ball Knows … I’ll Be Back Tomorrow.Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls.  A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.  Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.  That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.  Kind of makes you proud.  Almost feel like a hybrid.

Not on the English-speaking channel that our tax dollars pay for.  Dull, dull, dull.  Turn to TLN.  You might not understand what they’re saying, but it’s very easy to follow the game anyway.  And these guys ROCK!  I watched somebody score a goal yesterday (sometimes you really have to wait a long time), and the announcer screamed “SCORE” for 13 seconds.  Not repeatedly.  Just once.  He held it that long.  13 seconds.  I timed it.  Incredible.

This has got to be the coolest thing ever if you’re a Star Wars fan.  A GPS with Darth Vader giving you directions!  Darth, however, sometimes has difficulty taking direction.  Check out these hilarious out-takes from his recording session.  (Sorry, but you’re probably going to have to cut & paste)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ljFfL-mL70&feature=player_embedded

Ellen featured this ad Thursday on her show in a segment of funny commercials.  It’s soooooooo funny…and yet painful.

click here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsvAj6qfmFQ

If you watch American Idol, come back in a couple of weeks & read this.  It’s one of those “leaks”.  Ooh, the Top 24!  Some insider has let it slip who the Top 24 will be.  Really?  I came across this story the other day that claimed Hollywood Week was over.  I realize that the auditions were taped months ago, but I didn’t think Hollywood Week had already taken place.  Isn’t that taped a lot closer to the date it airs?  So I thought I’d post the “list”, and when the Top 24 are actually announced, we can compare.  Was it a leak?  So….WARNING!!!…do NOT look at the names below, but let’s come back to this & see.Again…if you’re an American Idol fan….STOP READING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!“AMERICAN IDOL” TOP 24 CONTESTANTS LEAKED  According to reports, the following made the cut:BoysLee DeWyzeDavid DukeAndrew GarciaChristopher “Chris” GolightlyTyler Grady (Boston)Benjamin Honeycutt (Atlanta)Casey JamesAaron KellyAlexander LambertMichael LyncheJohn ParkJermaine Sellers (Atlanta)GirlsLacey BrownMichelle DelamorKatelyn EpperlyAshley Rodriguez (Boston)Lillian “Lilly” ScottKatie Stevens (Boston)Haeley VaughnJanell Wheeler

Hi & Thanks to all our CHYM-FM Platinum VIP Trip-a-Day winners.  What a great time we had in the Riviera Maya Mexico.  A great fun-lovin’ group…as usual.  I took this picture off our balcony our last afternoon.  The picture doesn’t really do it justice.  It was once of the brightest rainbows I’d ever seen.  Looking forward to our next round of Trip-a-Day giveaways.  Coming soon.  Stay tuned. 

Our son was in town this weekend.  He turned 30.  I don’t know if it was the milestone making him sentimental, or if he just wanted a good laugh.  But he got up Sunday morning & suggested we have a slide show Sunday night.  A slide show?  I don’t think we’ve had a slide show for at least 10 years!  I said “I don’t even know if the projector works.”  He said “Yes, it does. I pulled it out of the crawl space last night & checked.”  So slide show it was.  We went through 4 of our 8 trays of slides.  140 slides per tray.  At one point our daughter Wendy, who hit the big 3-0 two years ago said “This is weird. You realize that you guys (referring to Carole & me) are younger in these pictures than any of us are now?”  Seriously…these pictures go back to 76/77.  Who even takes slides any more!  Anyway, bottom line, what a great night it was!  If all goes well we’re hoping to get through the other 4 trays Christmas Eve.  If you’ve got the time over the holidays, and you’ve got a pile of old pictures, slides, videos, whatever…things you haven’t seen in ages…and you don’t mind a little embarrassment (don’t worry, there’ll be enough for everybody) why not try it with your family?  And…Merry Christmas.

I went to Tireco this week & had my snow tires put on.  And I came across an article about getting your vehicle ready for winter.  Are you ready?

 KEEP HEADLIGHTS CLEAR WITH CAR WAX – That wintry mix of slush, snow and road salt can really do a number on your headlights.  And if the stuff sticks, it can dangerously reduce your visibility.  But there’s an easy fix: Just wipe ordinary car wax on your headlights.  It contains special water repellents that will prevent that messy mixture from accumulating on your lights, so you’ll be able to get wherever you need to go this winter safely.  The protection will last for weeks. SQUEAK-PROOF YOUR WIPERS WITH RUBBING ALCOHOL – Windshield wipers squeaking, or leaving streaks that make it hard to see?  Wipe them with a cloth saturated with rubbing alcohol or ammonia.  These are solvents that can cut the buildup of grease and grime, the main culprit that prevents wipers from working properly.  This one trick can make badly streaking wipers change to near-perfect clarity. PREVENT CAR DOORS FROM FREEZING SHUT WITH COOKING SPRAY – Spritz cooking spray on the rubber seals around car doors and rub it in with a paper towel.  Doors freeze when snow melts into the seals during the day, and then freezes at night.  But the oils in cooking spray prevent water from melting into the rubber in the first place. DE-ICE YOUR LOCK IN SECONDS WITH HAND SANITIZER – Can’t get your key in the lock on a frozen morning?  Just put some hand sanitizer gel on the key and the lock, and the problem’s solved.  Why?  Because hand sanitizers contain alcohol, the main ingredient in most commercial de-icers.  Just make sure you carry a sanitizer that’s at least 60% alcohol.  Sanitizers with less alcohol won’t work. FOG-PROOF YOUR WINDSHIELD WITH SHAVING CREAM – Shaving cream creates a protective film on the glass that prevents fogging.  Spray some on the inside of your windshield and wipe it off with paper towels.  Why does it work?  Shaving cream has many of the same ingredients found in commercial defoggers.

I can’t believe my timing.  Mine is usually the worst.  There’s been a couple of winters that I didn’t get my leaves raked up before the snow covered them.  Once it wasn’t my fault.  The snow came down before the leaves did, and never melted.  It was starting to look like I was going to run out of time again this year.  I had the backyard done a week or so ago, and this past Saturday spend about 10 minutes touching it up, then finished up the rest of the yard.  I couldn’t believe the weather my procrastinating got me.  I could’ve done the job in my shorts!  And today (Tuesday) as I arrive home from the station, they’re collecting the leaves on my street.  Next on my list: Christmas lights.