•Cotton candy pink. “My husband got no choice in this matter. Nor will he have any choice in any other matter.”

•Hot pink. “I wish every day could be my bachelorette party.”

•Red. “I want my bridesmaids to get laid tonight.”

•Mauve. “Wish I could get back to my 1980s prom. That was a magical time.”

•Purple. “Why is everyone talking about Kate Middleton so much? So, she’s a royal. This is my year.”

•Blue. “I’m sad I didn’t get to marry my ex that dumped me.”

•Teal. “Everyone knows I’m a total princess.”

•Chartreuse. “I want everyone to think I’m original.”

•Yellow. “This will look perky, right? Because I am seriously excited about getting married. Okay, a bit scared too. But excited! Really!!!”

•Orange. “I am cruel enough to want to make my best-est girlfriends look like traffic cones.”

•Grey. “My favorite Winnie the Pooh character is Eeyore. Also, I don’t have any close female friends or loved ones, because no one talked me out of this.”

•Black. “I love my bridesmaids, but they all need to lose a few.”

•Assortment of Colors. “I spend half an hour picking up a jar of mustard at the grocery store. Decisions are not my thing.”