Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category
The Mayonnaise Jar
Wednesday, August 24th, 2011
This was just forwarded to me. I don’t normally share these things but this one is good ~Amanda
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and start to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full… The students responded
With an unanimous ‘yes.’
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
‘Now,’ said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car.
The sand is everything else –
The small stuff.
‘If you put the sand into the jar first,’ he continued,
‘there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
So…
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
‘Take care of the golf balls first –
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.’
One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
‘I’m glad you asked’.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there’s always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.’
Please share this with others
Couple issues
Friday, January 21st, 2011
Research has found that the average couple has 312 arguments each year. Annoying habits like leaving wet towels on the bed and flipping between TV channels were cited as the reason one in five couples actually split up. Meanwhile — these kind of fights are most likely to take place on Thursday evenings.
TOP ARGUMENT TRIGGERS
1. Shavings in the sink
2. Dirty toilet
3. Flipping TV channels
4. Not replacing the toilet paper
5. Leaving the seat up
6. Leaving lights on
7. Leaving dirty cups around the house
8. Leaving wet towels on the floor/bed
9. Hoarding stuff
10. Not flushing the toilet
LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE MEN ANNOYED
1. Taking too long to get ready
2. Nagging about chores
3. Leaving lights on
4. Hair in the drain
5. Hoarding stuff
6. Overfilling trash cans
7. Leaving tissues around the house
8. Leaving dirty cups around the house
9. Flipping TV channels
10. Watching trashy TV
THE MOST COMMON HOLIDAY FIGHTS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM (YourTango.com)
Tuesday, December 21st, 2010
1. The mother-in-law fight. His mom hates your cooking — he says she’s just being helpful.
How to fix it: Address her directly, with this non-threatening formula: “I feel [insert your feeling here] when you [her action here]. Please [what you want her to do].” Example: “I feel bad when you criticize my cooking. Please don’t tell me my food is awful, even if you don’t like it.”
2. The money fight: You want to throw a holiday party; he says you can’t afford it.
How to fix it: Create a budget in advance that takes into account all holiday-related expenses including gifts, travel and entertaining. Decide how much you’ll spend on each category and don’t deviate.
3. The travel fight: You missed your flight — because he couldn’t find his scarf.
How to fix it: Travel is stressful for everyone, and in frustration we lash out at the nearest person — usually our spouse. Try to avoid placing blame and, remember, he’s upset about missing the flight, too.
4. The location fight: He wants to spend the holidays with his family, you want to spend it with yours.
How to fix it: Find a compromise — which means both of you have to give a little. “Understand that blending two families isn’t going to happen overnight,” YourTango Expert Lisa Steadman says. “You may still want to maintain your own family traditions separately at first, for example Thanksgiving Eve or Christmas Eve with one family, the next day with the other. This is healthy and normal.”
5. The gifts fight: You got him an iPad and he got you . . . a $25 Amazon.com gift card.
How to fix it: “Discuss what holiday gift-giving means to you within your budget,” says YourTango Expert Julie Spira. Agree ahead of time on a ballpark amount of what you’ll spend and on the nature of your gifts.
6. The family fight: You feel smothered by his family; he doesn’t understand what your “deal” is.
How to fix it: Take some time for yourself. Exercise, offer to walk the dog or volunteer at a soup kitchen. He can’t be mad at you for doing good!
7. The kids fight: You want to buy the kids the gifts they want. He says you’re spoiling them.
How to fix it: Create a gift list together. Limit yourself to one or two fancy gifts, and let him buy the inexpensive ones. Don’t buy anything that’s not on the list.
8. The traditions fight: He wants to skip the Christmas carols this year, you don’t.
How to fix it: Explain why this tradition is important to you and try to understand why he wants to skip it. This two-way empathy should help you discuss without arguing and, hopefully, find a middle ground.
9. The time fight: He says you’re working too much; you say you’re trying to earn a big bonus to pay for all your holiday expenses.
How to fix it: Plan some family- or couple-oriented activities and put them on your calendar — in red ink. He’ll feel good knowing you’ve committed time to him, and you’ll feel good knowing you can work the rest of the time.
10. The exhaustion fight. One or both of you is exhausted — and you take it out on each other.
How to fix it: When you feel yourself getting angry, ask yourself, “Am I really mad at him, or am I just stressed in general?” To help alleviate stress, YourTango Expert Dr. Carolyn Daitch recommends this breathing exercise: “Take five deep breaths, inhaling to the count of five and exhaling to the count of eight.”
Fifteen Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life (http://www.thenewhomemaker.com)
Wednesday, October 20th, 2010
The moment finally feels right: You finally got the kids to bed, you’ve slipped into something sexy that’s not stained with finger-paint, and then…zzz. You are conked out. For you and your partner, the lure of the sleep wins out over sex yet again.
Time and energy may not be things any young mom has in abundance, but fortunately, you don’t need either to add sizzle to a sex life that might be slumping, says Lou Paget, a sex educator and the author of Hot Mamas (Doubleday Canada). She shared her surprisingly easy tips for reconnecting with your husband inside and outside the bedroom.
Make a date night “Married couples should never stop courting,” says Paget. Pick a time and consider it a treat — not one more thing on your to-do list. Think it’s a downer to plan for sex? News flash: You basically always did. “A lot of what seemed like spontaneous sex, really wasn’t. You had it on dates, weekends, vacation — times you knew it would happen,” she explains. “Planned sex can still be hot sex.”
Get busy anywhere but your bed Using the dining room table for something other than dining adds variety, but there’s another reason to ditch the bedroom: “One of my new-mom clients said that she was always so tired that anytime she hit the mattress, she just wanted to sleep!” says Paget.
Try spontaneous hugging Try this hug hint: Sneak up behind your husband and wrap your arms around him, says Paget. “Men have ‘breast receptors’ all over their bodies,” she says with a laugh. “Your chest feels great against his back — it’s a big turn-on.”
Use the past as an aphrodisiac Not a fan of talking dirty? Take a stroll down your shared sexual memory lane with your husband instead. “All it has to be is, ‘Remember when you did X?’” says Paget. It’s likely to get you a repeat performance.
Stop focusing on the big O “Rediscover the bases!” says Paget. Take the pressure off by seeing how good you can make each other feel without any “goal” in mind.
Surprise him in the shower Kids are unlikely to be suspicious of Mom and Dad being in the bathroom together in the morning. And if you both shampoo too, it’s a timesaver!
Dip into your kids’ toy chest You paid for all those board games — why not borrow them and play strip versions?
Share a fantasy Not only is curiosity sexy, it also has the power to shift your relationship, says Paget. “Too many people have ‘psychic sex,’” she explains. “They think they know what the other person wants, when often they may be hiding the same desires.”
Type up a turn-on Sending a racy e-mail or text message to your husband takes seconds — and unless your little one is a prodigy, she won’t be able to read it!
Build anticipation As your husband is walking out the door in the morning, tell him what you can’t wait to do with him that night, says Paget. (Use code words so your kids won’t understand.) The two of you will feel excited all day.
Recreate your first dates Bring back the initial lust you felt by revisiting the spots you went to in the beginning of your relationship. Or if you’ve moved since then, at least bring back that level of creativity when you go out, says Paget. “The key is to pay that much attention to your mate,” she explains.
Break your patterns If you do moves in a certain order in bed, change it up! “Or set rules, like hands or mouth only tonight,” says Paget.
Get book smart Buy a book of new sexual positions
Ignore the clock Stop viewing sex as a nighttime activity, advises Paget: “You may be too tired to do it then anyway!” Fooling around on a Saturday afternoon while your child takes a nap can be very steamy.
Get him in a liplock Everyday intimate gestures are key to a sizzling sex life, says Paget, and kissing is the number-one thing that turns women on. “Pull him close and say, ‘I adore kissing you,’” she says.
Jessica Brown, a former editor at Woman’s Own, Woman’s Day, Child and Redbook, now writes about general health, sexual health, fitness, nutrition, psychology, parenting, and pregnancy.
