It took me a while to notice.  Other things going on, and all that.  But I discovered yesterday that the Blue Jays have given a roster spot to the seemingly-ageless Omar Vizquel this season.  I mentioned it in passing yesterday, and my wife looked at me blankly.  Who the hell is Omar Vizquel?

     I threw out a bunch of names, she knew them all.  Derek Jeter?  Oh yeah, he’s the Yankees guy.  Alex Rodriguez, he dated Madonna.  Ozzie Smith – he was on the Simpsons.  Cal Ripken – he’s the guy who played all those games.  Tony Fernandez – Blue Jays!  But Omar Vizquel?  Total blank.

     I can’t blame her.  To be honest, I had sort of forgotten about Omar Vizquel myself, and had to do a little refresher to see if he was the same one I remembered – the sensational defensive shortstop who had been an offensive liability for the Cleveland Indians throughout the ’90s.  So I did a very small amount of digging, and discovered that this man, who I had believed to be an “offensive liability”…is closing in on 3,000 hits!  Like, 159 hits away!

     The thing is, upon further examination of his stats, he was a solid hitter at best.  One year with 180 hits.  One year with a .300 average.  A .272 lifetime hitter.  One 70-RBI season.  One 10-HR season.  Four seasons of 30 stolen bases, and two of 100 runs.  Not exactly Hall of Fame offensive numbers.

     But then, baseball is a sport that celebrates longevity as much as it does brilliance.  And the 3,000 hits club has, historically, meant automatic entry into the Hall.  While Vizquel has not provided any real offensive excellence along the way, he has endured.  He is 17th all time in at-bats – one of only three players with 10,000 at-bats who do NOT have 3,000 hits.  (The others are Hall of Famers Frank Robinson and Rabbit Maranville.)

     But of course it was his defense that made Vizquel special.  The best defensive shortstop since Ozzie Smith, he won eleven gold gloves (including eight in a row) while making only three All-Star games.  He never had the flashiness that made Smith so popular, and never became a household name, or even one that would be known outside baseball fanatics.  But it IS enough to justify a spot in the Hall of Fame.  Provided he gets to 3,000 hits.  Which, if he gets regular playing time, he might do by next year.  And who knows how long he can go?  Julio Franco hung on until he was almost 50!

     Final note here though – although I absolutely love Jamie Moyer, and think that his wins-in-four-decades achievement (when he finally gets it) is incredible – Moyers is NOT a Hall of Famer.  While Vizquel was superior in only one area – fielding – Moyer has never been anything more than a solid pitcher, albeit one with incredible longevity.  While 3,000 is plausible for Vizquel if he hangs on long enough, Moyer will never get to the pitchers’ equivalent – 300 wins.  Moyer is currently at 267, and would have to play seven more years to get there.  At which point he will be 56.  Not gonna happen.

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     Just a reminder – music legend Eliades Ochoa comes to Ottawa April 27th, at the museum of Civilization to play among the totem poles.  And I get to go!  And so do you, if you like – enter the promo code “corporate” to get $10 when you buy tickets here.  And another reminder why the Buena Vista Social Club veteran is awesome:

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     On Thursday, the 6:40 tough question was “on average, women change THIS three times in their lives.”  The correct answer was “hair colour”.

     On the online version of the tough question, however, I need to put a second option – but since it was a long weekend, I thought I would make it easy.  The other choice was “the device she uses to throw wombats”.  Which was, of course, a ridiculous answer that no one would ever pick.  Which, of course, was actually picked by TEN people.  I can go into the bowels of our system and pull their names out to post them on this blog and call them out.  Or I can stay classy.

     Anyway, I’m writing this post because I got a fantastic email that made me laugh a lot – with the subject line “contributing to a hostile wombat environment”:

Just more proof the Koala’s run the media.
Throwing wombats?  Really I take that personally.  Wonder what would happen if we started flinging Interns?
OK this full lawsuit can go away with just one key for toys 4 boys .

     Thanks for the laugh Trevor.  Now, I cannot help you with a key for Toys For Boys.  Colon D or no Colon D.  However, perhaps I can begin to make amends.  Here is, for the SECOND time on my blog, a picture of Yo-Yo Ma and a wombat in a bathroom.

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     It’s Sunday morning.  I’m sitting on the couch with my coffee, waiting for the Masters coverage to begin.  It’s about 11:00.  Going to the in-laws for Easter dinner at 3.  It will be Easter and also a birthday thing for my wife’s mom’s boyfriend.  We’re bumming around doing nothing, because it’s the weekend.  The following exchange occurs:

My wife: “Hey, once you have pants on, can you go to the store and pick up the cake?”
Me:  “What cake?”
“The one for Richard’s birthday.”
“What store?”
“Sobey’s – can you go before I get ready?”
“No.”
“Oh, come on! Just go in and pick one up. He likes vanilla.”
“I don’t think you’ve thought this through.”
“Yes I have – it’s a vanilla cake, that says Happy…”
“Yeah.  Again, here’s the thing – the store is not open.”
“Sure it is, it’s Sunday.”
“Yeah.  No stores are open.  They all shut down for the last day of the Masters.”
“Oh. My. God.”

     What followed was a full-on panic.  The only thing, it turns out, that we were bringing to Easter dinner was a cake.  A particular, very special, already-picked out and decided upon cake.  That was entirely inaccessible.  And in the whilrwind of panic that ensued, I was actually dispatched to the corner store to find cake mix, come home, and bake a cake.  Now that’s desperation.

     Fortunately, I drove by Dairy Queen.  They were open.  Maybe they didn’t know it was Masters Sunday.  I bought an ice-cream cake for the low low cost of one of my car payments.  And returned to the couch, just in time to see Oosthuizen’s double eagle.  And Easter was saved.  I’m like Batman.

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     It’s not every day that a musical legend comes to Ottawa, and it’s even more rare that I get the opportunity to actually meet him and host his show.  So I’m terrifically excited to be bringing Eliades Ochoa, the legendary guitarist and singer of the Buena Vista Social Club, onto the stage at the Museum of Civilization Friday, April 27th.

     Now, some of you may have been to a show at the museum of Civilization before.  I have hosted several Comfortably Numb shows there, which have been terrific in the theatre. But this show is not in the theatre area – it’s actually going to take place at 8:30 in the Grand Hall, in among the totem poles with his 8-piece band.  Now that’s pretty damn cool.  For those of you not familiar with Cuba’s legendary Buena Vista Social Club and Eliades Ochoa, here’s a video:

     Tickets are available at ticketmaster, by phone at  1 855 985 5000 or online here http://www.ticketmaster.ca/Eliades-Ochoa-tickets/artist/771017 enter the promo code “corporate”, for a $10 discount!

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     This Saturday, come join me at Algonquin College for a huge party!  (That is, as long as you’re 19 or older) In Building D of Algonquin, there is a big, bonkers party taking place for Children At Risk, the local organization that helps children afflicted with autism.  It’s a cause close to my heart, as my youngest stepson is helped by this organization, and by extension the donations they receive through fundraisers like this one.

     Tickets are $25 in advance (or $225 for a table of 10), you can get them by calling 613-741-8255, or by visiting www.childrenatrisk.ca they are $30 at the door – that includes a sandwich buffet and a ton of entertainment, including the classic rock cover band Intersection, and stuff that I expect will be a lot of fun with drinks in us.  Like face painting and body art.

     So come out, have some fun, support a great cause and rock out to kick-ass tunes with a drink in your hand.  You’ll have to listen to me a little bit, but aside from that it will be a tremendous evening!  Here’s a poster.

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     Steven Seagal will be on Jimmy Kimmel tonight…set your PVRs!  He’ll be talking about his new TV series True Justice, which premieres this week (Friday night folks! Set your PVR again!)  In celebration, here’s a picture I love:

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     Has it really been 20 years since this classic baseball brawl?  The 20-something Robin Ventura charges the mound so that he can have his ass kicked by 46-year-old Nolan Ryan.  I bring this up because the Rangers have officially announced that they will no longer be showing the video on their jumbotron.  I guess they have actually been playing and replaying the fight for TWENTY years now.

     I guess it WOULD be a little unseemly if, when the White Sox were in town, the Rangers played a video of their current team president beating the crap out of the visiting team’s current manager.  And maybe, after 20 years on the jumbotron, the thing has actually run its course.

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     March 19th, in Carleton Place – the NHL alumni vs. Law Enforcement All-Stars to support Special Olympics Ontario and the Law Enforcement Torch Run.

     Players will include Rick Vaive, Marty McSorley, Mike Krushelnyski, Bill Derlago, Lou Franceschetti, Dan Daoust, Dennis Maruk, Mike Pelyk, Dave Hutchinson and goalie Mark LaForest.  And Walter Gretzky himself will be there as ambassador to the game and title coach! 

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