You know, the ancient Olympics in Greece were contested entirely in the nude. I thought it might be a good idea to bring the idea back…

Seems like a decent idea, right? Then again…

Much as I like to think I’m a traditionalist…maybe we’ve made progress. No one, no matter how hot they are, looks good when they’re competing in a (real) wrestling match!

     The above pictures were taken by a real photographer. Brittany, Taylor and Thea are three members of the CHEZ 106 / Ottawa Sun Sunshine Girl beach volleyball team that will be playing at HOPE this year.  I got the chance to go to their photo shoot on Tuesday, I guess the plan was for me to mill about and take some pictures of my own. So I did.

     Again, these pictures were NOT taken by me. They were sent to me after the shoot by Mark Williamson from the Sun - he took them during the two-day shoot.  Brittany is on the left, Taylor in the middle and Thea on the right. A couple more of Taylor, sent over by Mark:

     See, this is what a real photo shoot is like.  It takes place on a big white sheet under big bright lights and a lady holds a fan to make hair blow and the photographer points at stuff. The wardrobe is carefully planned. High heels are a must. Swimsuit models and strippers always need heels. Even though they are likely the two professions (well, and maybe construction) where high-heels are the least convenient thing a person could wear. Especially when you’re on your way to play beach volleyball. Here’s more photos of Thea:

     Once again, these photos were not taken by me. These photos were taken by Kaitlyn, our promo assistant, who accompanied me to the photo shoot at Events In Style on Murray street.  This is Kaitlyn:

     Kaitlyn is an actual volleyball player. And at least a halfway decent photographer. She’ll be at HOPE with another team. She tells me they will not be wearing high heels for their game. Now, the pictures I took.

     It appears I cannot be trusted with a camera. If this radio thing doesn’t work out, I will not be able to fall back on any kind of photography career.  I also took these pictures:

This is either Kaitlyn preparing to bump a volleyball, or demonstrating how to take a dump in the woods.

Swimsuit models eat healthy food.

Brittany was getting ready for her shoot as we left.

Kaitlyn took that one. The woman in the green dress was the one holding the fan for the models. She may have been the best looking woman there! Okay. My career in photography clearly will not take off, I’m done.

Went to Operation Come Home today for a ceremony honouring students who graduated from the Rogers Achievement Centre. Four students got their high school or GED diplomas, and many more earned credits through the classroom at OCH downtown.  It’s a great event every year, and watching the kids celebrating their success after overcoming enormous hurdles is always terrific.  One of the best things about the ceremony this year was a video they showed, a little documentary made by two students at Ashbury College about Operation Come Home, the kids, and the charitable work they do.  Check it out:

Way to go, Alexa and Cindy!

I recently got a series of calls from a vaguely-real collection agency. They told me I owed the City of Ottawa $71 for something I never paid in the year 2000. I called the city, they had no idea what this agency was talking about. Either way, the statute of limitations on debt collection was six years back in 2000, and it’s two years now. So there’s no way. Of course the company kept calling me anyway, making up some crap about the statute of limitations no longer applying. I kept ignoring the call when it came, sometimes three times a day. My wife was getting the same phone calls, about a nonexistent debt from 2005. Only hers was for $4,000!

Last week I tried a new tactic. I answered the phone. I explained to the lady on the phone that the city of Ottawa had no idea what this debt was, and since the collection agency couldn’t explain it either, I was operating under the assumption that it was bogus. I went on to explain, calmly and (very) slowly that since the statute of limitations WAS up, and they could do nothing to me or my credit rating, that I had no intention of ever paying. She said they would keep calling.

So here’s what I did – it seems to have worked. I explained my plan, very slowly. I said “okay, you keep calling. And I’ll keep answering. And I’ll continue to explain things to you the way I have today. After all, I’m around in the daytime, and it’s quite easy for me to put you on speakerphone and continue with my cooking or my workout. I have all the time in the world. Now, let’s say that I keep you on the phone for five minutes a day. And let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you make twelve dollars an hour. I will keep answering until I have used up eighty dollars of your company’s time, chasing me for the $70 you pretend I owe. This will take you exactly eighty phone calls. And at five calls a week, you will be at $80 in man-hours within sixteen weeks. At the end of those sixteen weeks, we will begin again. And I still won’t pay.”

It has now been nine days. And they have not called back, even once.

     You’ve probably seen this already, if you’ve spent any time on the internet today.  But for those who come only to the CHEZ page, you’ve gotta see this.

     I see from perusing our website that we need some clarification on what, exactly, the Canadian Golf & Country Club free golf clinic days are all about.  Here’s the deal – it’s very simple. 

     You show up on a certain day, at a certain time, and the Canadian’s pros teach you golf.  For free.  With however many people show up at that clinic.  I went to one last Thursday, asked for help straightening out my drive, and within a few minutes it was straight again.  It’s that simple.  Here are the days and times that you can show up – all are welcome beginners and scratch golfers, no need to sign up or do anything other than be there!

Saturday, June 9 – 1:00-3:00
Thursday, June 14 from 5:30-7:30
Saturday, June 23 from 1-3
Saturday, June 30 from 1-3
Thursday, July 5 from 5:30-7:30

     I’ll see you there!  (Well, at all but this coming Saturday’s clinic – this coming Saturday, I’ll see you at Scotiabank for the RV show)

     Well, I got my M1 license.  But it appears that I am still not to be trusted with a motorcycle, even a non-tippable one with three wheels.  And from what I understand, I will be riding in a side-car.  Which is fine, except that now I need one of those old German helmets with the spike on top. 

     Last year, the Motorcycle Ride for Dad raised more than $400,000 for prostate cancer research in Ottawa alone, and they want to beat that record this year.  And I want to help them do it!  Click here for my pledge page and donate to a terrific cause!  Ride For Dad coming up June 2nd!

SIDECAR!