For all the nominees, and trailers, and so forth, scroll down one post.  Here are my reviews for many of the nominated movies this year that I have seen (with the exception of Salt, Tangled, Unstoppable and Harry Potter, which are in categories no one gives a rat’s ass about)

Black Swan (Best Picture, Best Actress for Natalie Portman, Best Director for Darren Aronofsky, Cinematography, Film Editing)

Toy Story 3 (Best Picture, Best Animated Feature, Original Song, Adapted Screenplay, Sound Editing) 

127 Hours (Best Picture, Best Actor for James Franco, Film Editing, Original Score, Original Song, Adapted Screenplay)

The Kids Are All Right (Best Picture, Best Original Screenplay, Best Actress for Annette Bening, Best Supporting Actor for Mark Ruffalo)

Winter’s Bone (Best Picture, Best Acress for Jennifer Lawrence, Best Supporting Actor for John Hawkes, Best Adapted Screenplay)

True Grit (Best Picture, Best Actor for Jeff Bridges, Best Supporting Actress for Hailee Stanfield, Best Director for the Coen Brothers, Art Direction, Cinematography, Sound Editing, Costume Design, Sound Mixing, Adapted Screenplay)

The Social Network (Best Picture, Best Actor for Jesse Eisenberg, Best Director for David Fincher, Cinematography, Film Editing, Original Score, Sound Mixing, Adapted Screenplay)

The Fighter (Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor for Christian Bale, Best Supporting Actress for Melissa Leo AND Amy Adams, Best Director for David O. Russell, Film Editing, Original Screenplay)

Inception (Best Picture, Art Direction, Cinematography, Original Score, Sound Editing, Sound Mixing, Visual Effects, Original Screenplay)

The King’s Speech (Best Picture, Best Actor for Colin Firth, Supporting Actor for Geoffrey Rush, Supporting Actress for Helena Bonham Carter, Best Director for Tom Hooper, Cinematography, Art Direction, Costume Design, Film Editing, Original Score, Original Screenplay, Sound Mixing)

The Town (Best Supporting Actor for Jeremy Renner)

How To Train Your Dragon (Best Animated Feature)

Gasland (Best Documentary Feature)

Iron Man 2 (Visual Effects)

     What I’d pick…

Best Picture – Winter’s Bone (nope)
Best Actor – James Franco (nope)
Best Actress - Jennifer Lawrence (nope)
Best Supporting Actor – John Hawkes (nope)
Best Supporting Actress – Melissa Leo (yep)
Best Director - David Fincher (nope)

     And what I predict…

Best Picture – The Social Network in an upset over The King’s Speech (nope)
Best Actor – Colin Firth narrowly over James Franco (yep)
Best Actress – Natalie Portman (yep)
Best Supporting Actor – Christian Bale narrowly over Geoffrey Rush (yep)
Best Supporting Actress – Melissa Leo over Hailee Stanfield (yep)
Best Director – David Fincher (nope)
Animated Feature Film – Toy Story 3 (yep)
Art Direction – Inception (nope)
Cinematography – True Grit (nope)
Costume Design – The King’s Speech (nope)
Documentary – Exit Through the Gift Shop (nope)
Film Editing – 127 Hours (nope)
Foreign Language Film – Biutiful (nope)
Makeup – Barney’s Version (nope)
Original Score – Inception (nope)
Original Song – Tangled (nope)
Sound Editing – Toy Story 3 (nope)
Sound Mixing – The King’s Speech (nope)
Visual Effects – Inception (yep)
Adapted Screenplay – The Social Network (yep)
Original Screenplay – The King’s Speech (yep)

     The following is a list of every single movie nominated for an Oscar (except for the short films, which are tough to find and see, and who cares anyway).  Click the links to see showtimes and locations for those still in theatres, and click the movie titles for my reviews of select films.

Winter’s Bone

     Available at video stores everywhere…was released on DVD in October.  Also available on Rogers On Demand.  My favourite of the Best Picture nominees – but it won’t win.

  Also nominated for:

Jennifer Lawrence – Actress
John Hawkes – Supporting Actor
Debra Granik & Anne Rosselini – Adapted Screenplay

The Fighter

     Still in theatres.   The World Exchange theatre has three showings a day.  My second favourite, could actually win.  But probably won’t.

  Also nominated for:

Christian Bale – Supporting Actor
Melissa Leo – Supporting Actress
Amy Adams – Supporting Actress
David O. Russell – Director
Pamela Martin – Film Editing
Four people – Original Screenplay

Inception

     Available at video stores everywhere in DVD and Blu-Ray.  Also on Rogers On Demand.  I loved it, but it has no real shot at Best Picture.

  Also nominated for:

Art Direction
Cinematography
Music (Original Score)
Sound Editing
Sound Mixing
Visual Effects
Original Screenplay

Toy Story 3

     Available at video stores everywhere, on DVD and Blu-Ray.  Also available on Rogers On Demand.  Another fantastic film that would be deserving, but won’t win.

  Also nominated for:

Animated Feature Film
Original Song – “We Belong Together” (Randy Newman)
Sound Editing
Adapted Screenplay

True Grit

     Still in theatres.  Silver City in Gloucester has four showings daily.  I liked this one, but it doesn’t deserve Best Picture, and won’t get it.

  Also nominated for:

Actor – Jeff Bridges
Supporting Actress – Hailee Stanfield
Art Direction
Cinematography
Costume Design
Director – Coen Brothers
Sound Editing
Sound Mixing
Adapted Screenplay

The Social Network

     On DVD and Blu-Ray at video stores, also On Demand.  One of the two presumed favourites for Best Picture, and the more deserving of the two.

  Also nominated for:

Actor – Jesse Eisenberg
Cinematography
Director – David Fincher
Film Editing
Music Original Score
Sound Mixing
Adapted Screenplay

127 Hours

     Still in theatres.  AMC Kanata has four showings each day.  James Franco is sensational, could be a surprise pick for Best Actor.  No chance at Best Picture though.

  Also nominated for:

Actor – James Franco
Film Editing
Music Original Score
Music Original Song – “If I Rise”
Adapted Screenplay

The Kids Are All Right

     On DVD and Blu-Ray at video stores, also On Demand.  Not really deserving of any awards, as far as I’m concerned.  But it does have a lesbian Julianne Moore, which is nice.

  Also nominated for:

Actress – Annette Bening
Supporting Actor – Mark Ruffalo
Original Screenplay

The King’s Speech

     Still in theatres.   South Keys has five showings a day.  Another presumed favourite, but it’s just a really well done British Monarchy period piece.  There are a lot of those.

  Also nominated for:

Actor – Colin Firth
Supporting Actor – Geoffrey Rush
Supporting Actress – Helena Bonham Carter
Director – Tom Hooper
Art Direction
Cinematography
Costume Design
Film Editing
Music Original Score
Sound Mixing
Original Screenplay

Black Swan

     Still in theatres – The Coliseum in Ottawa has three showings a day.  Natalie Portman has to be the front-runner for Best Actress, and she is deserving.  Weird, intriguing movie that I think is too weird for Best Picture.

  Also nominated for:

Actress – Natalie Portman
Director – Darren Aronofsky
Cinematography
Film Editing

     OTHER NOMINEES

Best foreign language film

  Incendies (Canada) – Not on DVD until April, not playing anywhere in the Ottawa region right now.

  Biutiful (Mexico) – Limited release coming up January 28th.  Check theatre listings – will likely be in Ottawa by February 11th.  Odds-on favourite at the moment.
     (also nominated for Best Actor – Javier Bardem)

  Dogtooth (Greece) – On DVD in some places (not Ottawa), coming to theatres in other places (maybe Ottawa, January 28th).

  In A Better World (Denmark) – Can’t find listings

  Outside The Law (Algeria) – Can’t find listings

Best Supporting Actor

  Jeremy Renner – The Town (in video stores and On Demand)

Best Actress

  Nicole Kidman – Rabbit Hole – At the World Exchange cinema only

  Michelle Williams – Blue Valentine – World Exchange and Silver City.

Best Supporting Actress

  Jacki Weaver – Animal Kingdom – On DVD now, video stores everywhere, and On Demand.

Animated Feature Film

  How To Train Your Dragon – In video stores on DVD and Blu-Ray
     (also nominated for Original Score)

  The Illusionist – Can’t find listings

Art Direction

  Alice In Wonderland – In video stores on DVD and Blu-Ray, On Demand
     (also nominated for Costume Design, Visual Effects)

  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 – In video stores on DVD and Blu-Ray, On Demand
     (also nominated for Visual Effects)

Costume Design

  I Am Love – On DVD in stores now.

  The Tempest – No local listings

Documentary feature film

  Exit Through the Gift Shop – On DVD in stores now

  Gasland – On DVD in stores now.  I loved it – it’s powerful, sad and scary.  Shows how pulling “natural gas” out of the Earth is just as bad, if not worse for the environment, than mining for oil.

  Inside Job – Not on DVD until March, no local theatre listings.

  Restrepo – On DVD in stores now.

  Waste Land – Not on DVD until March, no local theatre listings.

Original Screenplay

  Another Year – No local listings.

Visual Effects

  Iron Man 2 – On DVD and Blu-Ray at video stores.  Terrible movie, but looks great.

  Hereafter – Coming to DVD shelves March 15th, no local showtimes

Sound Mixing

  Salt – On DVD and Blu-Ray, On Demand.  Maybe they’re hoping Angelina Jolie will show up at the Oscars?  Or something?  This movie was weak.

Sound Editing

  Tron: Legacy – Movie theatres all over the place

  Unstoppable – On DVD now.  Decently tense toward the end.  What the hell is the difference between sound mixing and sound editing anyway?

Original song

  Tangled – “I See The Light” – Theatres all over.  I liked this movie, but this was the only decent song in it.

  Country Strong – “Coming Home” – AMC, Silver City

Makeup

  Barney’s Version – Theatres all over

  The Way Back – No local listings, DVD release date in April

  The Wolfman – DVD and Blu-Ray at stores everywhere.  Weak movie.  Good makeup.

     Sometimes a movie becomes so engrained in one’s consciousness that it can’t help but affect one’s actions at some point, later in life, when a situation arises calling for, say, a mid-hockey-brawl striptease.  I give you Colorado Eagles assistant coach Greg Pankiewicz on Friday night. 

     Too bad the video ends there.  We missed the part where he glided to centre ice, ripped his pants off in one smooth tear, and called the opposing team’s goalie’s wife a lesbian.  And the part where he was removed from the ice and watched the rest of the game from the press box, where he felt shame.

     Does anyone else suspect that the quit-smoking products you see advertised on TV are made by the same people who make the cigarettes themselves?  The only place I ever see people smoking on TV now is on quit-smoking commercials.  And it makes me think “I’d like a smoke”.  At the very least, the two sides must somehow be colluding.  If you really want people to get your quit-smoking product, show a guy with nasty yellow teeth coughing up something gross while huddling beside a dumpster during a snowstorm trying to make his lighter work. 

     I saw today that Billy Ray Cyrus (father of Miley Cyrus) blames Hannah Montana for “ruining his life”.  I don’t know much more than that.  Now, I get it.  After all, “Achy Breaky Heart” ruined MY life for a number of years.  But I have to take issue – I’ve watched the show, and I understand.  Hannah Montana is terrible and painful and all that, yeah.  But Billy Ray – Hannah Montana IS Miley Cyrus!  She IS your daughter!  They’re the SAME PERSON!  It’s tough to figure out at first, but once you get it, it’s all cool.  So just watch a couple more shows, figure that out and you’ll be fine.

     So yesterday, we discovered that Ottawa is the whiniest, pettiest city in the province.  Per capita, Ottawa has more complaints to bylaw officers than any other municipality.  My neighbour’s lawn is unkempt!  His garage door is red!  He fixes his car in the driveway, his dogs bark, he doesn’t share his pork tenderloin with me!  That’s a lot of complaints…now, here’s the real deal:

     Apparently, 50% of the complaints filed with bylaw here in Ottawa result in a fine for the complainer!  That means, if you’re, say, MY neighbour, and you call bylaw because I came home from work in my “ring girl” outfit and cracked a beer at 9:30 in the morning in my garage, and the bylaw people came by and determined that I was in no way disturbing the peace, YOU will be fined for wasting their time.  You hear that Ted? 

     What has always amazed me about Ottawa, (and particularly Kanata, where I have lived in several houses over the past few years) was how WELL we all know the bylaws.  Just this fall, someone called bylaw to come to my house and speak to me.  Because the city-owned lawn in front of my house hadn’t been mowed.  It’s a huge swath of lawn.  It’s all far beyond MY fence.  But apparently it’s MY responsibility to mow it. 

     I didn’t know this.  No one I spoke to knew that.  But apparently one of my neighbours did.  It took me HOURS to borrow a gas-powered lawn mower to do the job, and even more hours to actually get it done.  And I did it, so I wouldn’t be fined several hundred dollars.  Some do-gooder neighbour of mine knew that I was neglecting the city’s lawn!  And he (or she) sure did their part (as have so many of us) to ensure that Ottawa retains the title, for one more year, as the City That Fun Forgot!

     For the first time this season, I watched American Idol tonight.  Steven Tyler does not entertain me on the show.  All he does is show up with long hair and look earnest.  Joe Perry called American Idol “one step above Ninja Turtles” when he expressed his displeasure at Steve Tyler participating.  I, on the other hand, beg to differ.  Ninja Turtles was, obviously, the brainchild of some idiotic crack addled focus group, yes.  But a step below American Idol?  No sir.  If I want to watch painfully skinny chicks cry, I’ll watch Intervention. 

     How come, when someone in my family dies, I can take a few days off free of charge for “bereavement leave”, but when someone in my family gets married, I have to use my vacation days?  I assume it’s the same everywhere…but if I attend a funeral, the person won’t remember I was there.  They’ll remember I was at their wedding.  I have five weddings to attend this summer.  That’s a lot of vacation days used up.

     I was out at the Beaver Cup on Sunday, for the final game.  Randall’s team The Hosers had played Friday night and all day Saturday, and had lost all their games but one, despite being surprisingly competitive for a team thrown together sight unseen over email.  But that portion of the Beaver Cup was over, and the finals were going on (featuring teams that were not The Hosers) Sunday afternoon while I was out there for the First Annual Make A Wish Breakaway Celebrity Hockey Game, or as we were calling it, the FAMAWBCHG.  I had to use the whole name every time I announced something, and the acronym was VERY difficult to pronounce.

     For Sunday’s celebrity game, there were a number of local celebrities (and “celebrities”) on hand to participate in the game.  On the high end was legendary hockey Hall of Famer Denis Potvin, and former Senator Jason York.  Then there was Police Chief Vern White, TSN personality (and CHEZ alumnus) James Cybulski, and our own Randall Moore.  And then Kurt Stoodley and Bill Welychka of A Channel, another guy from XM something or other, and the guy who showed up with Vern White.

     Mr. Welychka was injured toward the end of the first period, landing hard on the little ice-level net thanks to some nifty and vicious stick work from Mr. White.  Or something like that, I had a hard time seeing anything.  At any rate, the game ended like 18-15 for the Red Team over the Blue Team.  The Red Team was Denis Potvin’s team, the Blue Team belonged to our own Randall.  Who lost for the fourth time in three days.  Not that I’m rubbing it in or anything.  He’s not going to read my blog.  Actually, he’s on vacation for the week so by the time he gets back he won’t even remember my name.  Either way, I figure I’m safe.  After all, in the Celebrity Something Or Other Game, he was too scared even to drop the gloves with Denis Potvin, despite the invitation.  I’m not the least bit worried.  Well done, Beaver Cup!

     Doc and Woody and Randall are off on vacation.  I’m not, because I have less vacation than they do.  But for whatever reason, Cosmo is doing the morning show while they are gone, and I will be doing overnights.  Listen for me at midnight on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday!  And…that’s about it.  That’s all I’m doing this week while they’re gone, which basically means I’m on vacation too, and I can get up whenever I like.  I tend to choose noon.  So that means that for the first time in a long while, I am awake when my wife is awake.  And that means that I am currently subjected to the TV shows that she watches religiously.

     One of those shows is The Bachelor.  She isn’t a big fan of watching the show with ME, because apparently my loud derisive laughter interrupts her enjoyment of the carnage.  This show is truly amazing.  The fact that no one clues in to how staged and fake it is stuns me.  Really?  The BACHELOR chose the crazy maniac chick to stick around until the end?  But she’s crazy!  How can he not know?  Or…maybe…he DOES know she’s a nut, and the PRODUCERS think it’s a good idea to keep her around?  BECAUSE she’s crazy?  Oh, that’s nonsense isn’t it.

     This really is an incredible show though – you thought the best job for men in the world was wearing a headset and holding a clipboard and collecting 4 million dollars a year as a backup quarterback for the Colts?  Oh no, my friend.  The best job in the world is CLEARY The Bachelor.  You can be the biggest douchebag in the world.  You can be the worst person alive.  And you will still get 25 incredibly, impossibly hot women who are desperate to jump your junk.  As soon as a show becomes competition, women will do anything to win against each other.  Not only that, but they will actually be able to DELUDE themselves completely and believe that it’s true love!  Amazing, this.  You do realize, stupid women, that once the Caribbean cruise and the walks on the moonlit beach and the parties catered by slaves are finished, you’re gonna end up with this Brad dink in some cheap house in Vanier watching him play X-Box, right?

     So – best job in the world!  I would like to see a spinoff show here.  How about some fat, silly, gross farting slob becomes the bachelor?  Like…someone like me?  No reasonable woman would want to be with this guy normally, but when it’s a competition, and they’re up against other women…would they still fall in love?  I’m betting they would.  Furthermore.  I would like to see a Bachelor show where the guy who’s banging all these women (and let’s not kid ourselves, he’s banging them all) suddenly reveals that…he…hates black people.  Or something equally awful.  And see if the women, already vicious in the heat of competition, stick around and fight it out to the end anyway, overlooking what is clearly an ENORMOUS character flaw?  I would watch that show.  And like it.

     After The Bachelor, there was a dog show.  Prissy fluffy dogs running around a ring.  I couldn’t understand for the life of me why anyone would watch this on television.  I guess TSN didn’t have a Blue Jackets game or a tractor pull or a bowling tournament to televise, so they had to go with the dog show.  I know my wife is insane about dogs.  I know that because we have a menagerie running around our house.  But why would she want to watch this?  It’s just stupid looking dogs running in a circle, then some woman judging them on a series of criteria unknown to the rest of the world.  But more disturbing than the television audience which may well number in the dozens – how is the building sold out?  How are there people in the crowd?  You can’t see the puck in a hockey game, and you can’t see a Corgi at a dog show in MSG.  It just doesn’t make any damn sense to me.

     Then we watched a show called Heavy.  This is a show where really, really cartoonishly fat people go to some kind of boot camp with some chick named Britny and get hammered back into shape via a mixture of verbal abuse and starvation.  I’m trying to lose weight right now.  I’m on the 10-week workplace weight loss challenge (currently in first place, looking to reclaim the title I lost last year).  Here’s the thing – losing weight is EASY.  It really is.  Eat less.  Work out more.  Pounds come off.  Done.  So how come it’s a big deal when people get crammed into this facility, forced to work out, and fed 81 calories per meal, and they manage to lose weight?  It would be pretty silly if they didn’t.  I like this show though, because I think it’s funny to watch really really fat people cry and jiggle.

     I saw an ad for a show about storage spaces.  Seriously, storage spaces.  And I cringed.  I saw an ad for American Idol.  And I gagged.  And then I saw an ad for a home improvement show that stars Vanilla Ice.  I have spent the rest of the night in the bathroom.  I miss Keith Olbermann.  I PVR’d his show every night and watched it first thing every morning.  Now I have no idea what I will PVR to replace Countdown.  I know it won’t be The Bachelor.  Sometimes, I’m really glad I go to sleep at 5:30 on regular nights.