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Do You Recognize Any Of These Guys?

August 11th, 2012 by Doc

This article made me laugh. Mainly because it’s so TRUE!!!!  Do you recognize any of these guys?  Or if you want to be brutally honest, which one are you?

 

The 18 Most Annoying Golf Partners

The only thing worse than playing with one of these guys is BEING one of these guys

Read More http://www.golfdigest.com/golf/humor/18-most-annoying-golf-partners#ixzz23EnGpntf

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They Are Letting Us Comeback

August 10th, 2012 by Doc

The Doc and Woody Show will return to WORLD CLASS ROCK CHEZ 106 on Monday Aug. 13

I’m looking forward to the laughs with the guys.

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50 Plates of Bacon

July 13th, 2012 by Doc

Our first annual BACONFEST is set for July 27 (friday) from 6am to 9am at 2001 Thurston (at Conroy).  Chef Steph the Grilling Gourmet will be there with some specialties and you can grab a bacon on a bun. MMMMM …..in the meantime, here’s something far sexier than 50 Shades of Grey

50 PLATES OF BACON (brilliant stuff from Amanda Jette )
He stood in the hallway – a coy smile on his face – and reached for my hand. I let him guide me into the kitchen. Candles stood alight on the granite counter, their flames reflected in the pot rack above. Lagostina, I noticed. And not the cheap kind with the plastic handles, either. This guy meant business.
“What are you cook–” I began to ask, but he put a finger to my lips and stopped me cold.
“Don’t speak,” he insisted, and reached into the pocket of his apron, pulling out a silk scarf. He grabbed my hair and gently forced my head back, tying the scarf so that all I could see was blackness. “On your knees.”
Cold air blasted me from the fridge door.
The last time I was on my knees, I was scrubbing dried pee from beside the toilet bowl. Sure, no one was bossing me around at the time, but at least this situation smelled a lot better. In fact, it smelled incredible.
His curly moustache tickled my cheek as he leaned down to whisper in my ear. “I’ve been getting my meat ready for you all day, lover. Now it’s time for things to get hot.”
Excitement rushed through me at the sound of something unzipping in front of my face. Freezer bag!
The sound of dish sliding against dish behind me, then the intense pounding of microwave keys. Not a word was spoken for what felt like at least thirty seconds, Then, a beep cut through the silence like a knife.
“I want you to taste my meat,” he said. “But first I want you to beg for it.”
I wanted his meat. I wanted it so badly. But I kept quiet.
The scent was getting stronger, smokier, closer. I breathed it in lustfully.  Sweat began to trickle down my face. Oh God, I thought. I know that smell. That amazing, breakfast-like smell.
I soon realized that wasn’t sweat trickling down my chin, but drool.
I could hold my porkly passion no longer. “Feed me your meat.” I said quietly.
He got behind me, put a foot on my back, and held the plate just under my nose.  His chef hat fell in my lap.”Louder! Tell me how much you want it!”
“Feed me your long, hard strip!” I yelled.
He pulled off the blindfold. A pound of perfectly processed pork product sat steaming on a plate. “Take it all! Cram it in you mouth! I want to watch you eat it.”
And so I did. He looked at me and cocked his head. “Good girl. Only 49 more plates to go.”

I never knew such desire until that night.

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Fonda Fullfilled

July 12th, 2012 by Doc

 I’m really enjoying what I’ve seen of Jane Fonda on the new HBO series “The Newsroom”.   A tremendous actor like her father Henry, however unlike dad she does sometimes give out TMI.  In a recent article she is quoted as saying she “I have never had such a fullfilling sex life”.  With that in mind:

 Jane Fonda TO DO LIST

–8:00 A.M.:  Wake up.  Pleasure myself . . . with Life Alert button.

–8: 30 A.M.:  Breakfast.  Bagels with Kegels.

–9:00 A.M.:  Brush teeth.  Then insert in mouth.

–10:00 A.M.:  Replace hanging fern in living room with sex swing.

–10:15 A.M.:  Have sex.  Shatter hip.

–10:30 A.M.:  Have more sex.  Shatter other hip.

–1:00 P.M.:  Bump into Betty White at audition for “raunchy grandma.”

–3:00 P.M.:  Hop into bed with a guy and moan loudly.  Not because I’m having sex, because my pelvis just shattered.

–5:30 P.M.:  Ignore voicemails from Madonna telling me to act my age.

–6:00 P.M.:  Dinner at Vietnamese restaurant.  Dramatically protest its unjust prices.

–8:00 P.M.:  Troll for men interested in hooking up with women my age.  In other words, Ashton Kutcher.

–10:00 P.M.:  Have more of the best sex of my life at age 74.  Then watch a “Matlock” rerun and go to bed.

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Let’s Hear It For Fat Sabbath!

June 28th, 2012 by Doc

Lead singer for FAT SABBATH

It’s been a fun couple of days taking, tweets, emails and phone calls with your nominees for FAT BANDS.

THE ALL TIME TOP TEN

(according to CHEZ NATION voters)

1. Fat Sabbath
2. Lard Zeppelin
3. Limp Biscuits and Gravy

4. The DiaBeatles
5. ZZ TOP HEAVY
6. Fried Oyster Cult
7. Motley Stew
8. Earth, Wind and Fries
9. Elvis Pastry
10. Nickle Back Fat

Honourable Mentions

 

Bruce Springroll and the Eat Street Band , CheeZ Top, The Lard Birds, The Travelling Pillsbury’s , 3 Hot Dog Night, Bon Bon Jovi, Red Hot Chili Cheese Dogs

 

As you showed us, we could do this all day long.

Thanks for the fun CHEZ NATION!

 

 

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The media is going nuts over Nick Wallenda walking across Niagara Falls on a tightrope. Well, we’ve gone one better!

Get a load of this.  Eric The Intern will attempt to walk a tightrope between two FULL portable toilets.  Now think about.  Even if Eric has the ability to actually walk a tightrope, do you think your average portable toilet can hold his weight?  That’s why they are full.  But even full , can they hold his weight?  Find the answer by clicking on the video :

 

 

 

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A Golf Tournament CHEO Kids Love

June 2nd, 2012 by Doc

Jason Campbell is a godsend to many children at CHEO fighting cancer. Over the last decade he has given back (he had a cancer as a child) to the oncology patients  at the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario by raising money at an annual golf tournament and then using those funds to make sure the kids had the latest DVD’s , games and devices to watch them on. It gets pretty boring and lonely when you are in the hospital 24/7 and Jason has made it so the kids have some entertainment to get them through the tough times. If you golf ….I hope you will visit his website and perhaps sign up for the JASON CAMPBELL GOLF CLASSIC on June 15 at Irish Hills .

http://www.jcgc.ca/

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Grapes stopped in for a read thru of  50 Shades of Grey this morning (Friday May 25). It was about 5: 15 a.m. and he was in a great mood.  He turned up later for the on air reading and did a great job (which you can hear on the BEST OF DOC AND WOODY SHOW Sat. May 26).   What you did not hear was the conversation before he did his read thru (which was nowhere near as entertaining as the actual live performance).
Content warning:   I’ll bet you didn’t know Grapes talked like this!

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Recently a tragic turn of events in Stittsville left two young boys without a mother or father.

On June 2 Ten streets are participating in a garage sale and many people have collected donations from co-workers, family and friends so there will be lots of great finds.

There will be a  barbeque in the bus lane at Westwind Public School with food donated by local grocers and La Cucina, The Burbs Pub and Jo-Jo’s Pizza.

West Wind is located south of Fernbank and East of Main Street.  You can get more details on street locations and online auctions by click on the link below.

www.westwindcommunitygaragesale.com

 

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You’ve got to see these grandma’s watching Kim Kardashian’s Sextape . Their comments are hysterical.  I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. Enjoy!

 

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