Year:  2005
Genre:  Drama, Crime, Western
Country:  Australia
Language:  English
Starring:  Guy Pearce, Ray Winstone, Emily Watson, Noah Taylor, Danny Huston
Director:  John Hillcoat
Run time:  104 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films

     There aren’t a lot of great westerns any more. Which makes me sad, because I love westerns.  The last truly great western movie was Unforgiven, and that was 20 years ago. Since then there have been a few good ones, and only one that came awfully close to greatness.

     That western was the magnificent Guy Pearce-Ray Winstone movie The Proposition, written by musician Nick Cave and also starring Emily Watson and Danny Huston. It’s an Australian western from 2005, and it’s breathtaking. The scenes of the harsh Australian outback are terrific, and the cast is sensational, including a fantastic turn by John Hurt as a bounty hunter.

     The “proposition” of the title comes from a deal made between Pearce and Winstone. Pearce plays Charlie Burns, the middle Burns brother in the notorious Burns gang. Winstone plays Captain Stanley, the lawman who captures Charlie and his younger, mentally handicapped brother Mikey. Neither Charlie nor Mikey is the big prize though – Captain Stanley really wants the ringleader, their psychopath older brother who is hiding in the outback where nobody can get to him.

     Arthur Burns is so crazy, and so violent, that neither the army nor the aboriginals will go anywhere near his hideout. So Captain Stanley makes Charlie a proposition – you go out there, find Arthur and kill him. Otherwise, we’re going to hang Mikey on Christmas morning.

     From there, things get violent and cruel and nasty. And it’s incredible. The Proposition takes its time with every story line, delivering a hugely powerful climax as the stories of the brothers and Captain Stanley come together. This is a western movie every western fan should own, and it finally gets its much-needed Blu-Ray release August 28^th from Alliance Films.

Years:  2011, 2012
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English, French
Starring:  Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, David McCallum, Brian Dietzen, Cote De Pablo, Rocky Carroll, Jamie Lee Curtis
Creator:  Donald P. Bellisario, Don McGill
Run time:  16 hours, 49 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I don’t mind when NCIS does the two or three part episodes. It’s a great show, and I can handle waiting for the next episode to find out what happens. But the way they closed out Season 9, with three parts of what could end up being a six part episode with a very annoying cliff hanger, is a lot too much.

     On August 21^st Paramount Home Entertainment releases Season 9 of NCIS on DVD, and I have now watched it all.  I really liked the first four discs, because they’re pretty much what I’ve come to expect from NCIS – a solid procedural crime show with a good cast. Yeah, there are some cop-out episodes where they get rid of Ziva’s boyfriend so they can keep playing on the sexual tension between her and Tony, but it’s a small complaint.

     My big complaint – and I do have a big complaint – is with the last two discs. Partly because of the annoying cliffhanger episodes, but mostly because of the introduction of Jamie Lee Curtis to the show. I like Jamie Lee Curtis, but her role is so badly written that it’s painful. She’s a super-agent in the psychological warfare division of…something…called psy-ops. And she’s all about the mind games, you see. So she’s sneaky and mysterious and devious and manipulative.

     Ostensibly, she has been introduced as a foil/romantic love interest for Mark Harmon’s Gibbs, as she’s supposed to be his intellectual and badass equal. But she doesn’t seem that way to me. To me, she just comes across as one of those incredibly irritating women who thinks she’s way smarter and way sexier than she actually is, and just ends up being creepy. And Jamie Lee Curtis, in Season Nine of NCIS, creeps me out. And it’s not (just) because she now looks exactly like my mom.

Years:  2011, 2012
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  LL Cool J, Chris O’Donnell, Linda Hunt, Peter Cambor, Daniela Ruah, Adam Jamal Craig, Barrett Foa, Claire Forlani
Creator:  Shane Brennan
Run time:  17 hours, 25 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment
Related reviews:  NCIS Season Seven, NCIS Season Eight, NCIS: LA Season One, NCIS: LA Season Two

     Even more so than NCIS, NCIS: LA is brainless fun. It’s loud, and flashy, and all buddy-coppy and generally generic. But muscular LL Cool J, brooding Chris O’Donnell, smoking hot Daniela Ruah and especially tiny little badass Linda Hunt make the otherwise run-of-the-mill subject matter truly entertaining.

     Season three of NCIS: LA comes to DVD August 21^st from Paramount Home Entertainment, and like Season nine of NCIS, it ends with an obnoxious cliffhanger that suggests Hetty is going to resign…again. At the end of every season, she’s either about to quit or about to be killed. I get it. But I also get that Hetty is the best part of the show, and it’s quite likely she’ll be back at the beginning of Season Four. Other than that, season three is as entertaining as usual, helped along by the addition of Claire Forlani for a number of episodes, giving us yet another pretty shiny thing to look at.

     NCIS: LA is like Lays potato chips. It’s tasty, has little substance, and you can’t watch just one episode. That’s why it is best watched on DVD, rather than on TV. When I watch an episode on TV, I forget it exists by the time the next week rolls around. On DVD, I can watch the entire season in a weekend and enjoy every minute.

Year:  2011
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Michael C. Hall, Jennifer Carpenter, Desmond Harrington, Lauren Velez, David Zayas, James Remar
Guest stars:  Colin Hanks, Edward James Olmos, Mos Def  
Creator:  James Manos Jr.
Run time:  10 hours, 32 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     The sixth season of Dexter comes out on DVD and Blu-Ray August 14^th from Paramount Home Entertainment. It’s as entertaining a show as ever, and I really liked Season Six, but it doesn’t quite live up to previous seasons. The reason for that is mostly the introduction of religion into the show, giving Dexter something of a crisis of faith, but also providing him with one of the weaker antagonists in recent years.

     Colin Hanks is good as the Doomsday Killer, but he just doesn’t seem as evil as previous serial killers who have gone up against Dexter. He’s less of a maniac serial killer genius, and more of an unfortunately violent insane religious nutjob. That’s one problem. The other problem I have with season six is the ending – not so much for the resolution of the serial killer story, but for the addition of yet another super-creepy story line. This is a show about a serial killer with a baby at home. Do we really need another skin-crawling plot twist?

     That being said, the final four minutes of the last episode of season six are legitimately heart-stopping, and make season seven that much more anticipated.  No telling where it’s gonna go, but it can only get creepier from here!

Year:  2011
Genre:  Drama, Crime, Dark
Country:  United States
Language:   English
Starring:  Sam Worthington, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Chloe Grace Moretz, Jessica Chastain, Annabeth Gish
Director:  Ami Canaan Mann
Run time:  105 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films

     I remember a few years ago, when the movie Kick-Ass came out, and everyone was ranting and raving about Chloe Grace Moretz and her performance as Hit-Girl.  Well, some were ranting and some were raving.  Such a young girl playing such an adult role!  She’ll be screwed up for life!  It’s totally inappropriate!  Also, she’s incredibly GOOD!

     I’m surprised that those offended by Kick-Ass haven’t said a thing about Texas Killing Fields, where Chloe Moretz plays a much, much darker and more horrific role than anything one could have imagined in Kick-Ass.  She plays a little girl whose drunken disgusting mother keeps kicking her out of the house so she can prostitute herself to the locals. There is a constant undercurrent of menace there too, like this unfortunate little girl could be abused at any time, or worse.  And there are much worse things going on in Texas Killing Fields. A serial killer is abducting, raping and murdering women, then dumping their bodies in the middle of nowhere in an oil field.  Sam Worthington and Jeffrey Dean Morgan are the small town cops hunting down the killer and dealing with creepy locals.

     The one film I can compare this one to (for those still interested in watching a dark, freaky, gut-wrenching movie) is Winter’s Bone.  It’s similarly bleak, it’s just as creepy and dangerous a small town, but instead of crystal meth labs it’s underage prostitution rings.  Still want to see it?  Good, you should see it.  Texas Killing Fields may be bleak and harsh and dark but it’s VERY good, and it’s on DVD today from Alliance Films.

Year:   2010, 2011
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Languages:  English
Starring:  Tom Selleck, Donnie Wahlberg, Bridget Moynahan, Will Estes, Jennifer Esposito, Len Cariou, Amy Carlson, Nicholas Turturro
Creators:  Robin Green, Mitchell Burgess
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     The one problem I have with Blue Bloods is how over-the-top American it is.  When the family gets together for their weekly dinner, and they discuss the subject matter of the day – which almost always relates to the case they were working on that day – it feels like a crappy episode of Crossfire or The View or one of any number of political pundit shows in the States.

     The rest of the show is uber-American too – the tough-guy, ends-justify-the-means attitude, the “rugged individualism”, the hero-cops and the flags in the background.  Sure, they try to temper that with their forced, awkward round-table discussions at dinner, but it’s pretty clear at all times just what the “right” answer is to all their debates.

     That being said, getting the negative stuff out of the way first, I do like the show.  Season One comes out September 13th from Paramount Home Entertainment, and the cast is the best thing about it.  Tom Selleck’s moustache oozes authenticity as the police commissioner.  Will Estes is excellent as his son, a new recruit to the police department and a beat cop.  Bridget Moynahan, as the New York assistant DA (and Selleck’s daughter) is lovely and perfect, and Donnie Wahlberg (the older brother, tough-guy rule-bending cop) is the best part of the show.

     Unfortunately, because this is New York City, and the show is so very American, a lot of the episodes have to deal with terrorist plots and terror cells and terrorism.  It still crackles along at a terrific pace, with just enough lulls for some Tom Selleck wisdom or some Bridget Moynahan moralizing.  And when the cases are more usual – abducted children and so forth – the show is truly excellent.

Year:  2011
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Languages:  English
Starring:  Kristen Vangsness, Forest Whitaker, Janeane Garofalo, Michael Kelly, Beau Garrett, Matt Ryan
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     CBS really has no one to blame but themselves for the cancellation of Criminal Minds: Suspect Behavior.  The only reason this show was canceled was that…it was created in the first place.  There was nowhere to go but down from there.  First off, they didn’t really bother creating a cool new title for the show.  Suspect Behavior is, after all, what Criminal Minds is all about.  They’re basically calling the show Criminal Minds: Criminal Minds.  Not that NCIS: LA or CSI: NY or CSI: Miami are that much more inventive, but at least they aren’t redundant.

     The thing is, I LIKE Suspect Behavior.  Yes, it’s exactly like all the other police procedurals out there, exactly like the original Criminal Minds.  But with Forest Whitaker, Janeane Garofalo and a very cool cast, it actually manages to be better at doing the exact same thing.  I think.

     Then again, it’s a moot point.  After all, the show WAS canceled, and all we will ever have is this one DVD volume that ends with Garofalo being kidnapped and Forest Whitaker about to blow some guy away.  I would call this a cliffhanger, but does anyone really think something crazy was going to happen?  They did plan to make a second season, which is why they would end with a cliffhanger.  So for the uber-fan(s) of this show, know this – Garofalo would have been saved, Whitaker would not have shot the guy, and Episode 2 would have been right back into more of the same.

     That, really, is the only real problem with Criminal Minds: Criminal Minds (aside from the title).  It’s more of the same.  In the second-last episode of the season, the team deals with a case of a murdered marine.  I found myself thinking – wait, that’s a marine!  He’s a navy guy!  Shouldn’t…NCIS be handling this?  Or, failing that, if they needed anti-terrorism experts and more explosions, NCIS: LA?

     And there it is.  CBS (formerly Columbia Broadcasting System) found they had a major hit with CSI (Crime Scene Investigation).  So they decided to spin it off into CSI: Miami (Crime Scene Investigation: Miami).  THAT show was an even BIGGER hit, so they spun off again into CSI: NY (Crime Scene Investigation: New York).  All this spawned a ton of video games, board games, action figures, backpacks, lunchboxes and CSI-themed children’s birthday parties.

     Of course, it was the acronym that was making these shows successful, so they moved on to NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Service).  Soon, that one was a hit as well, so the spin-off had to come.  NCIS: LA (Naval Criminal Investigative Service: Los Angeles).  Soon, CBS may run out of cities.  Perhaps they already have, not wanting to brand their new spin-off Criminal Minds: Spokane.

     But that’s it – they have achieved critical mass.  The already-bloated prime time police procedural drama slate could not handle even one more spin-off, whether it was good or not.  Blue Bloods is out there too, taking up a little bit of CBS real estate with another cop show (but a new one, with a new idea, that amazingly doesn’t cover the exact same ground as all the others).  But once you’ve hit the limit – there it is.  CBS should have been tipped off when they couldn’t think of another city to put after the colon in the show’s title.

     So it’s done, and we have the one season, which I DID really like.  And it’s on DVD now from Paramount Home Entertainment, and that is where it will stay forever, consigned to the dustbin of Failed Spinoff Prime Time Police Investigative Procedurals.  Something tells me that dustbin will be very full, very soon.

Years:  2010, 2011
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Languages:  English, French (dubbing of course)
Starring:  Thomas Gibson, Joe Mantegna, Matthew Gray Gubler, Shemar Moore, Kristen Vangsness, Paget Brewster, AJ Cook, Rachel Nichols, Jane Lynch
Creator:  Jeff Davis
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I have only one complaint with Criminal Minds in this, the sixth season.  And that is “unsubs”.  First, they assume we’ve been watching the show forever, and therefore we understand the term.  Like CSI assuming we understand all about epitheleals and so forth.  Were I to just jump into the sixth season, this would annoy me. 

     Now, I am a veteran of a few seasons of Criminal Minds, so I DO know that an “unsub” is an “unkown subject” – the bad guy (or girl) they are chasing.  But I am still annoyed.  Because it’s such an overused word on the show, they continue to call the suspect an “unsub”, very often, even after they have figured out who it is, what their name is, and have put out an APB.  If it’s Jim Henson of Delaware, it’s no longer an “unsub”, right?

     OK.  Done with the complaints.  Otherwise, Criminal Minds is still a totally engrossing show that I can watch endlessly without getting tired of it.  The calm coolness of Thomas Gibson running the show, the I-can’t-quite-put-my-finger-on-it sexiness of Paget Brewster, the charmingly naive genius of Matthew Gray Gubler, the credible gravitas of Joe Mantegna, the wide-eyed hot-tempered earnestness of Shemar Moore, the silly wardrobe of Kristen Vangsness, and the badly underused (at least in Season 6) smoking hotness that is AJ Cook.  And yeah yeah, I get she was pregnant or something and will be back full-time for Season Seven.

     Filling in the hotness gap for Cook, however, is actress Rachel Nichols, who appears as the daughter of a serial killer who has now been added to the team.  I suspect that once Cook returns, there will be no more need for this much Hot though, and Nichols will be let go to return to movies (like all the sequels sure to come for Conan The Barbarian).

     I’m always impressed by how often the writers of shows like these can keep coming up with something new.  The old serial killer with alzheimer’s, the pedophile living in the mountains off the Appalachian Trail, the guy who burns his victims alive on Hallowe’en, it all works, and it all seems fresh.  That, to me, is the most remarkable thing about the sixth season of Criminal Minds, on DVD September 6th from Paramount Home Entertainment.

Years:  2010, 2011
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  LL Cool J, Chris O’Donnell, Linda Hunt, Peter Cambor, Daniela Rush, Adam Jamal Craig, Barrett Foa
Creator:  Shane Brennan
Run time:  17 hours, 25 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment
Related reviews:  NCIS Season Seven, NCIS Season Eight, NCIS: LA Season One

     The connection between NCIS and NCIS: LA extends, it seems to me, only as far as the acronym with which they are both named.  The NCIS gang investigate crimes, find the guilty parties, and arrest the wife or the husband or the co-worker or the disgruntled coffee shop employee responsible for the murder.

     In NCIS: LA, it is never an angry wife, or a jilted lover, or a slightly loopy Dairy Queen manager who ends up being the murderer.  It is always a terrorist.  (Or, on the rare occasion it is not directly a terrorist, it’s a massive governmental, CIA-assisted conspiracy that is tangentially related to some terrorists.)

     NCIS seems to be concerned with accumulating evidence, examining DNA and fingerprints and tracking cell phone calls and updating databases.  There is a forensic component, and an investigative component, and the cases rarely boil down to actual gunfire and car chases.

     On the LA version, though, I’m not sure ANY forensics are ever done, I think it is ALL car chases and gunfights.  In every episode, someone goes undercover to investigate a terror cell.  There are apparently an awful lot of those in LA.  And it ends with a gunfight, a close call for an NCIS team member, and an explosion. 

     Actually, none of the episodes end with an explosion.  The CASE ends with an explosion or a gun battle, but the EPISODE ends with nine minutes of banter between LL Cool J and Chris O’Donnell.  Or between Hetty and someone.  Or between two other characters.  Just as long as there is banter.  That is what matters.

     There is also a lot of back story.  Everyone is badass, with a Navy Seal past or a Special Ops past or some kind of lethal-killing-murder training.  The funniest character in this vein is Hetty, the diminutive (under 5 feet) boss of the outfit, who can apparently scale mountains with the greatest of ease, kill you nine times before you hit the floor, and is constantly name-dropping all kinds of presidents and generals and clandestine figures.  I remember Oliver North used to say that to me…

     The thing is – yes, it’s silly.  It’s immeasurably silly and cheesy.  It looks bright, and shiny, and slick as hell and that can be very irritating also.  But I like it.  I like laughing at the cheesiest moments (LL Cool J is reminiscing about the time he was buried alive as a Navy SEAL – it’s emotional!), and rolling my eyes at the most ludicrous scenarios (terrorists have infiltrated a cruise ship offshore at a big Gala Event where they plan to assassinate some dignitaries!  Again!) 

     And I love it.  And once I start watching, I can’t stop watching it.  And just like the first season, I watched the entire second season in days.  The second season, which comes out August 23rd from Paramount Home Entertainment.  That one.

Years:  2010, 2011
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English, French
Starring:  Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, David McCallum, Brian Dietzen, Cote De Pablo, Rocky Carroll
Creator:  Donald P. Bellisario, Don McGill
Run time:  16 hours, 49 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     There’s nothing new to say about NCIS, now putting its eighth season on DVD, August 23rd from Paramount Home Entertainment.  DiNozzo and Ziva have the same old relationship, full of sexual tension and bragadoccio.  McGee and Abby have the same old relationship too, full of sexual tension and nerdy-scientist competitive banter.  Gibbs still scares people without ever being scary, Ducky still rambles on about non-sequitor stories, and the rest of the cast is still…around, doing stuff.

     Actually, I think there is one difference.  As NCIS has matured lo these past eight years, it HAS slowed down a bit.  Not in the writing or the look or the direction of the show, which is as gleamingly polished as ever.  Rather, it takes them longer and longer to end each season now.  It used to be one cliffhanger episode, followed by a season opener to resolve it the next year.  Then it was two-part episodes to close out the season.  This year, it takes them FIVE episodes just to set up the cliffhanger!  You’re getting old, NCIS.

     At least, in some ways, it isn’t NCIS: LA.  These guys still deal with cases that involve murder, and investigation, and catching a bad guy and moving on.  NCIS: LA, with the exception of the occasional reference to “director Vance”, has virtually nothing to do with the original NCIS.  Except for the acronym.  And I realize that I am giving both the same rating here.  I get that.  That is because NCIS: LA is crack, while NCIS is beer.  Neither one is particularly good for you, but a taste of either will leave you wanting more.  And the original NCIS is a little less harmful to your brain.

Years:  2010
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Michael C. Hall, Jennifer Carpenter, Desmond Harrington, Lauren Velez, David Zayas, James Remar
Guest stars:  Julia Stiles, Peter Weller, Jonny Lee Miller 
Creator:  James Manos Jr.
Run time:  10 hours, 32 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     There was no topping Season Four of Dexter, which was one of the greatest seasons of any TV show I’ve ever seen.  No new guest star could compete with John Lithgow’s Trinity Killer.  That guy was the creepiest, scariest, most cold-blooded foil for Dexter yet, and finished the season with one of the most shocking moments in recent television history.

     That being said, Season Five comes pretty darn close.  And Julia Stiles, whom I have disliked for years, has completely turned me around.  All she had to do was stalk and kill some rapists and murderers, and I am now 100% in her camp.  I am a Julia Stiles fan!  She’s no John Lithgow…but then, who is?

     In Season Five, on DVD August 16th from Paramount Home Entertainment, our favourite serial killer Dexter gets a new partner in homicide when he rescues Lumen (Stiles) from the clutches of a ring of rapist-torturer-murderers.  They form an uneasy alliance as she becomes more and more determined to hunt down the men responsible for her abduction and torture.  The relationship between Lumen and Dexter is as sweet and awkward as it is murderous and vengeful, and comes to a bittersweet conclusion at the end of the season which is actually very touching.

     That, I think, is one of the reasons Dexter remains one of the best shows on TV.  Every season is compelling, once you watch one episode yuo have to watch the rest – but every season ends.  Sure, there may be a little carry over – how will Dexter deal with the death of such-and-such?  How will he feel about being a father?  But that’s it.  No annoying cliffhangers, no nine-season story arc.  Just one great season at a time.  And Season Five IS a great season.

Years:  2008
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Michael C. Hall, Julie Benz, Jennifer Carpenter, Desmond Harrington, Lauren Velez, David Zayas, James Remar
Guest stars:  Jimmy Smits, Valerie Cruz, David Ramsey
Creator:  James Manos Jr.
Run time:  10 hours, 32 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Paramount Home Entertainment is re-releasing Seasons Three and Four of Dexter on DVD August 2nd.  The reason for this is that they have added French dubbing.  It’s a lot better on Dexter than it was on say, the NCIS DVDs I watched.  Not that I spent a lot of time with the French soundtrack, but I always like to see if, when translated into another language, it remains the same show.  In this case, it does.  The guy doing Dexter’s voice is very good, and adequately creepy.

     The third season, overall, is the weakest season of Dexter so far.  Oh, it’s still good.  In some cases very good.  The two climactic episodes are some of the most pulse-pounding of the show.  But otherwise, the spark seems to be missing from this season.  That spark returns in Season Four with John Lithgow as the Trinity Killer, but Jimmy Smits is just an awkward fit in Season Three as an assistant DA who forms an uneasy alliance with Dexter in tracking down and killing the bad guys. 

     Thankfully, Dexter picked back up in a big way in Season Four and Five, and it was a momentary lapse into middling territory for an otherwise superior TV show.  Paramount is releasing Season Four with French dubbing at the same time – click here for a review of season four.

Years:  2006, 2007
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English, French
Starring:  Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, David McCallum, Brian Dietzen, Cote De Pablo, Lauren Holly
Creator:  Donald P. Bellisario, Don McGill
Run time:  16 hours, 49 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Season four of NCIS continues where Season Three left off – with an irritating run of shows that try really hard to put the main characters in personal danger.  A lot of shows do that when they run out of other ideas.  NCIS is still solid, thanks to the cast and characters, and there’s some good writing, but I just can’t stand the episodes where DiNozzo tries desperately to make time for his new girlfriend, or where McGee struggles with writers’ block after the huge success of his last novel.  Or where Gibbs awkwardly works things out with a new girlfriend, or DiNozzo does secret undercover work for the director, or Ducky and Gibbs get sour with each other over Gibbs’ attempt to retire.  And that’s most every episode in Season Four.

     The French dubbing that made these Paramount Home Entertainment re-releases necessary is still adequate, although every single character (except Abby) takes on a totally different persona thanks to the voices.  Wait – necessary?  No…I think that might have been the wrong word.  Convenient?  Plausible?  I don’t know.  Either way, it gave me a chance to watch the first four seasons for the first time.  And complain though I do, I DID watch them all.  Four full seasons over the course of my two-week vacation, every time I wasn’t watching the fifth season of Dexter or the third season of The United States of Tara, or the final season of Secret Diary of a Call Girl.  That’s what NCIS is good for.  A diversion between other entertainments – one that I keep returning to, no matter how much I complain!

Years:  2005, 2006
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English, French
Starring:  Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Sasha Alexander, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, David McCallum, Brian Dietzen, Cote De Pablo, Lauren Holly
Creator:  Donald P. Bellisario, Don McGill
Run time:  17 hours, 37 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Season three is when NCIS started to go downhill for me – I guess someone, somewhere got the idea that Sasha Alexander was not hot enough, and they replaced Caitlin with Ziva (Cote De Pablo), I guess figuring she was hotter.  And just in case that wasn’t enough eye candy to make NCIS even more successful, they added Lauren Holly as the director of NCIS, and Gibbs’ on-again-off-again love interest. 

     My biggest problem is Ziva.  Mark Harmon as Gibbs is irritating enough.  The whole team lives in fear of Gibbs and his wrath and his badassery, but it never actually comes up.  Gibbs never actually does anything to justify this respectful fear.  And Ziva is the same.  She is a Mossad assassin, ostensibly, who has now been added to the team – she is now the Most Lethal NCIS Member, and she can kill you with a spoon or a fork or a garlic press as soon as look at you…except that she never does.  Whenever Ziva has to subdue some out-of-control suspect, or a soldier on PCP, the guy will come at her, everyone will run down the hall to help, and they will open the doors to find the bad guy subdued and bleeding on the floor.  It’s pretty rare that we get to see Ziva actually kicking any ass at all.  So it’s all just words.

     That means that the only thing the character of Ziva adds to the cast (aside from the admirable hotness of Cote De Pablo of course) is her awkward grasp of English.  She seems to exist solely to butcher common English sayings and have DiNozzo correct her.  She’ll say something like, “you can’t see the jungle for the ferns”, or “does a bear sit in the woods”, and then someone will have to correct her, and I guess it’s supposed to get a laugh.

     The thing is, these DVDs have been re-released by Paramount Home Entertainment (August 2nd) because they have added French dubbing.  That’s fine, except Ziva’s butchered colloquialisms don’t really translate into another language.  She’s the multi-lingual member of the team, the only one who speaks French, and she’s a totally useless character in that language.  Well, not entirely useless.  Her French dubbed voice makes her sound like a ten-year-old Justin Bieber fan.  And that really works here, because every time she talks, it’s either to say something charmingly inept, or to re-assert, yet again, her badass bonafides.  And sounding like a ten-year-old girl when she does is hilarious.  I think, in fact, I like Season Three better in French.  7/10 in French!

Years:  2004, 2005
Genre:  TV series, Crime, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English, French
Starring:  Mark Harmon, Michael Weatherly, Sasha Alexander, Pauley Perrette, Sean Murray, David McCallum, Brian Dietzen
Creator:  Donald P. Bellisario, Don McGill
Run time:  16 hours, 49 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     The second season of NCIS has been by far my favourite.  More focus, better character development, better roles.  Yes, some things still annoy me.  The recurring character of Ari, the Hamas-Mossad Israeli-Palestinian terrorist-freedom fighter-assassin has worn me out, and the season finale makes it quite clear that Ari will be reappearing in Season Three.  At least for a while.  But I like the banter between Caitlin and Tony, I like the fact that McGee has been added to the team full-time, and I like the fact that (until the very end of the season) the show doesn’t do that cop-show cop-out bit where they involve the characters themselves in the cases so that I, the loyal viewer, will care more about them.

     The show is best as just a regular police procedural.  The fact that it has to do with the Navy only is just a silly excuse to create another CSI type show, and that’s all this is.  Only with better-drawn characters and a better cast.  And so when Season Two ends with the team at the centre of a terrorist situation, and the bad guy has targeted them, it spells “downhill” from there.  That, and the end of the season also ramps up that whole rah-rah-super-American go-military stuff that really turns me off.  I think, in the end, the 8/10 rating I gave Season Two applies to the first 14 hours, and not the last three.