Year:  1985
Genre:  Comedy, Cult, Classic
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Tim Curry, Michael McKean, Christopher Lloyd, Martin Mull, Lesley Ann Warren, Eileen Brennan, Madeline Kahn 
Director:  Jonathan Lynn
Run time:  94 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I hear a lot of people bitching about how Hollywood has run out of ideas, and now makes nothing but sequels and prequels and remakes and reboots and movies made from TV shows and video games and comic books and Disney theme park rides and whatever Twilight is.  Sometimes, I hear people bitching about that in MY voice!

     But the sad thing is, it has always been this way. It was like this in 1956 when Cecil B. DeMille remade the Ten Commandments and in 1959 when William Wyler remade Ben-Hur for the third time. It was like this in 1993 when the ninth and final Friday the 13^th movie was made, and in 2009 when the 12^th Friday the 13^th movie came out. 

     And it was like this way back in 1985, when Jonathan Lynn made Clue, a movie based on a board game starring Tim Curry, Michael McKean and Christopher Lloyd.  In the intervening years, Clue has become a small-time cult classic, thanks mostly to some campy humour, a truly fantastic comedy cast, and the three different endings that were a part of it when it was originally released.

     Now, Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing the 1985 movie on Blu-Ray, August 7^th.  It remains quirky and funny and one of the better movies made from a board game (lol). And of course, in keeping with the theme of this review, it makes for some great viewing in the lead up to the summer of 2013, when you will be able to go out to the big screens for the Clue remake! Not joking.

Year:  1968
Genre:  Sci-Fi, Cult, Classic
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Jane Fonda, Anita Pallenberg, John Phillip Law  
Director:  Roger Vadim
Run time:  98 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I have a hard time picturing Jane Fonda as anything other than the grandmotherly fitness instructor on so many workout videos.  I’ve even reviewed some of her workout videos, and to me, that’s who Jane Fonda is. A very fit grandma with big hair and a friendly smile. Maybe the oldest person alive who can still make yoga pants work for her.

     So when I started watching Barbarella, on Blu-Ray July 3^rd from Paramount Home Entertainment, it took me a while to reconcile THAT Jane Fonda with the current Jane Fonda. The Jane Fonda in Barbarella is not going to bake you cookies and gush over your performance at your piano recital. She’s going to get naked, dance around and have sex with everyone she meets. This is Jane Fonda circa 1968, and I was surprised to discover that she was, at that time, the hottest woman in the world! 

     Now of course, when Barbarella isn’t having sex or running around in skimpy outfits, the rest of this movie is god-awful. It’s just a lot of cheesy science fiction talk and flying around with an angel and a spaceship that looks like electronic brass knuckles for some reason. But naked Jane Fonda? In high-definition? That’s why Barbarella became a cult classic in the 70s, and that’s why it’s the best thing being released today!

Year:  1953
Genre:  Western, Classic
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  John Wayne, Geraldine Page, Ward Bond, Michael Pate, James Arness 
Director:  John Farrow
Run time:  83 minutes
Special Features:  Commentary from Leonard Maltin & others, The John Wayne Stock Company: Ward Bond, Profile: James Edward Grant (screenwriter), The Making of Hondo, From the Batjac Vaults
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     The John Wayne classic Hondo comes to Blu-Ray June 5^th from Paramount Home Entertainment.  I’m a giant John Wayne fan, but this is one of those movies that I never quite got around to seeing.  And for that, I felt properly chastised by Leonard Maltin when he came on the screen before the movie to tell me that it was good and I ought to have seen it before now.

     And he was right!  Leonard Maltin, you’re so smart! I should have listened to you before, because I really liked Hondo, despite the vaguely racist treatment of the Apache and the strange camera work.  Then again, Maltin explains that weird camera stuff before the movie begins.  See, the new trend of making every movie in 3D is not a new trend at all.  See, they did the same thing in the 1950s, and Hondo was made right in the middle of the very first 3-D craze. 

     But the Blu-Ray is not in 3-D.  Which is probably a good thing.  The high definition is wonderful for the vistas and the open plains and all those other things that made John Wayne movies fantastic.  And I think it would have lost something had I been forced to put on those cheesy crappy cardboard glasses. 

     So I just had to giggle at the hilariously dated three dimensional title and intermission sequences, and the occasional scene where someone points a gun directly into the camera.  The rest of the time, I just sat back and enjoyed the always enjoyable John Wayne in one of his good, solid westerns.  Hondo is not a classic on the level of The Searchers or Red River or The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance.  It’s more a generic Wayne western along the lines of McClintock! or Angel And The Badman.  But it’s a movie every John Wayne should watch, and one I regret took me so long to get to.

     It IS notable, and classic, for a few reasons – the main one being the film debut of Geraldine Page, one of the great actresses of the century.  Page was nominated for a Best Supporting Actress Oscar for Hondo, and then nominated for six more Oscars in her career, before finally winning one for The Trip To Bountiful in 1985.

Year:  1946
Genre:  Classic, Christmas, Drama, Family, Fantasy, Blu Ray 
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore
Director:  Frank Capra
Run time:  130 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     A year or two ago, I reviewed a two-disc special edition of the classic It’s a Wonderful Life.  It came in a box with a little bell, and had some great special features like a making-of documentary hosted by Tom Bosley, and a tribute to Frank Capra narrated by Frank Capra Jr.

     On November 1^st, Paramount Home Entertainment releases a new two-disc special edition box set of the classic It’s A Wonderful Life.  This one comes with a little bell and some great special features like a making-of documentary hosted by Tom Bosley, and a tribute to Frank Capra narrated by Frank Capra Jr. 

     So, what’s the difference?  Well, this one is a Blu-Ray.  And I know what you’re thinking.  You’re thinking…a classic black-and-white movie on Blu-Ray?  What’s the point?  Does black and white look any better in super high definition?  Well, the answer is no. 

     The reason, I think, for the Blu-ray treatment here is the second disc, which features the colorized version of the movie.  That process in the old days of film where they ADDED colour to black and white movies so modern low brow movie watchers (like my sister) would find them more palatable.

     I am not one of those movie watchers.  I find colorizing a classic like It’s A Wonderful Life to be akin to blasphemy, and I won’t be watching it.  And so for me, there is absolutely no difference between the NEW It’s a Wonderful Life box set with a bell and the older one with a bell.  Except that the blu-ray is the only box set on the shelves right now.  And you NEED It’s A Wonderful Life in your collection.

Year:  1961
Genre:  Classic, Romance, Comedy
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Audrey Hepburn, George Peppard, Patricia Neal, Buddy Ebsen, Mickey Rooney 
Director:  Blake Edwards
Run time:  115 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I have always felt that Breakfast At Tiffany’s is one of the most over-rated “classic” movies out there.  I still like it, of course it’s still good.  But one of the greatest movies of all time?  Hardly.  It features an unlikeable main character who does irritating things and is rewarded for it, and a pretty offensive Chinese caricature from Mickey Rooney.  Well, it was 1961.

     That being said, the new Blu-Ray version of Breakfast At Tiffany’s, out September 20th from Paramount Home Entertainment, is well worth having.  One of the great things about the film is the look.  The costumes, the fashion, and Audrey Hepburn’s smoking hotness.  All come through magnificently in high definition.

     The thing is, I’ve seen all this before.  And by “all this”, I mean the movie itself, the commentary with it, and every one of the special features.  Everything you get on this new Blu-Ray disc is identical to what you got on the Centennial Collection edition of Breakfast At Tiffany’s, released a couple of years ago by Paramount.  The same “style icon” featurettes, even the same trailers.  So although the Blu-Ray is the one to pick up if you have NO copies of Breakfast at Tiffany’s, it’s unnecessary if you already have the last edition.

Year:  1956
Genre:  Epic, Classic
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Edward G. Robinson, Anne Baxter, Yvonne De Carlo, Debra Paget, Vincent Price, John Derek, Nina Foch, John Carradine, Martha Scott, Judith Anderson, Cedric Hardwicke, Esther Brown, Woody Strode, Robert Vaughn, James Coburn, thousands of others
Director:  Cecil B. DeMille
Run time:  219 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Today, a lot of movies in Hollywood come out of focus groups.  A bunch of people who sit around wondering what kind of movie they should make to appeal to the largest number of people possible.  No focus group could have done better than The Ten Commandments in 1956.  It’s an epic – those were big at the time.  It starred Charlton Heston – he was big at the time.  And it’s religious!  Religious movies do very well at the box office.  Not only that – it’s religious for both Christian and Jewish people, in that it’s old-testament religious.  And let’s face it – the old testament is by far the more entertaining of the two testaments.

     Cecil B. DeMille, of course, knew how big a success his movie was going to be.  After all, he had already made it once before, in 1926.  Both movies were terrific, although the 1956 version was more…well…biblical.  And we all know that works – do you have any idea how much money Kirk Cameron makes every year acting in movies that only evangelicals watch?  TONS!

     I suspect almost everyone has seen The Ten Commandments.  It’s on TV every Easter, and it can be tough to avoid.  Like Die Hard 2 at Christmas.  Of course, at any time, The Ten Commandments is a commitment.  At almost four hours that’s a sizeable chunk of your day.  I think most of us watch it while preparing Easter dinner, and with commercials it could be a six hour chunk of television.  Looking back on this movie with the benefit of all the films that have come since – in the last 55 years – that’s a LOT of overacting and silliness to sit through.

     The only real question now is this – is the new restoration worth it?  Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing the restored version in DVD and Blu-Ray editions on March 29th.  See, a lot about the movie is dated.  Today, I smirk at the ludicrous dramatic overacting, the silly dancing girls in skimpy clothes, the over-the-top pageantry, and the sheer excess that is The Ten Commandments.  This movie really stands as a monument to a bygone era in Hollywood.  So does it need to be updated for today’s technology?

     The answer is, unequivocally, yes.  See, many of the things that make The Ten Commandments so charmingly out of date are things that beg for higher definition – the costumes and the cast of thousands and the parting of the Red Sea and Yul Brynner’s shiny dome and Charlton Heston’s ridiculous beard.  And because the film is such a time-consuming effort, I need a real reason to keep watching for a long time.  And the restoration gave me just that.  A reason to spend an entire afternoon watching this pompous tribute to the enormous ego of Cecil B. DeMille.  And enjoying it.  And maybe a reason to do it again, some time soon!

Years:  1969, 1972
Genre:  Kids, Cartoon, Classic
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring (voices):  Johanna Baer, David Carey, Linda Ercoli, Christopher de Faria, Robin Kohn, Linda Mendelson, Hilary Momberger, Stephen Shea, Chad Webber, Bill Melendez, Peter Robbins, Pamelyn Ferdin, Glenn Gilger, Andy Pforsich, Sally Dryer, Anne Altieri, Guy Pforsich, Erin Sullivan
Director:  Bill Melendez
Run time:  166 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Charlie Brown and the rest of the Peanuts gang are so familiar to most of us that watching them in an animated movie is not much different than reading the old Charles M. Schultz comic strips.  And since all the jokes and scenarios are exactly the same, it actually IS just like that.  Charlie Brown is bad at baseball.  His team loses all the time, and every pitch he throws comes right back up the middle and knocks all his clothes off.  He can’t fly a kite and trees want to eat his kites and his kites attack him and break all the time.  He gets psychiatric advice from Lucy at her booth for the low low price of a nickel.  Lucy takes the football away when he’s about to kick it.  Linus carries a blanket, Schroeder plays piano, Pigpen is messy.  You know how it goes.

     That familiarity both helps and hurts the first movie on this 2-disc double feature from Paramount Home Entertainment.  A Boy Named Charlie Brown is the first Peanuts feature length film, from 1969.  The familiarity of the story works well, as does the homey feel generated by the now-classic Vince Guaraldi theme music.  Really though, the film is just a series of vignettes – Charlie Brown’s kite, Charlie Brown playing baseball – spread out by some filler animated sequences – Snoopy’s record player playing the Star Spangled Banner, Schroeder playing the Pathetique on his piano – and finally, the actual story, which involves Charlie Brown entering a spelling bee.

     Of course, Charlie Brown will fail at the spelling bee, as he does at everything else – that is, after all, the theme of Peanuts.  But he DOES place second overall, nationally, in a televised spelling bee.  He returns home with the stench of failure all over him, and gets depressed, and hides in bed.  Today, a movie that ends like that would be a success story – if any kids in school made fun of the guy who came in second in the country in a spelling bee, he would just say “oh, yeah, I did lose.  How…did you do in the nationally televised spelling bee?  Oh, you didn’t make it?  You weren’t there?  I see.”  And the movie would be a success story.  Not for Charlie Brown though, of course.

     The second movie in the set is Snoopy Come Home, a surprisingly – no, staggeringly – sad story about Snoopy running off to find his original owner, a little girl who has been hospitalized for some reason.  While the gang pines for Snoopy and worries about where he may be, Snoopy takes Woodstock and his briefcase off on a series of adventures as they try to get to the hospital.  They are kidnapped by a creepy little girl, they sink a raft in a river, they camp out in a giant nest and under an overpass.  Of course, Snoopy and Woodstock don’t speak, so maybe the most interesting thing about the 1972 film is that it operates almost entirely visually.

     For our eleven-year-old, Snoopy Come Home was more interesting.  A Boy Named Charlie Brown is a little more inaccessible for the young ones, although of course he is familiar with the comic strips also, so he found it cool that he knew what was coming next.  Lucy’s gonna take the football away and Charlie Brown’s gonna get hurt!  Just watch!  I was amazed that he wanted to watch these old movies, and even more amazed that he enjoyed them.  And I also admit that I found a good deal of enjoyment in the set as well.

Year:  1987
Genre:  Comedy, Cult, Classic
Country:  UK
Language:  English
Stars:  Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths, Ralph Brown, Michael Elphick, Daragh O’Malley, Michael Wardle, Una Brandon-Jones, Noel Johnson, Irene Sutcliffe
Eye candy:  None
Director:  Bruce Robinson
Run time:  108 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films

     There have been other editions of Withnail & I.  There is a superior Criterion Collection edition I recommend to anyone who can find it.  But it’s out of print, as are all the other DVD editions I have seen over the years.  The only way to get it on DVD now, it seems, is with this new release, January 11th, from Alliance Films.  If you can get the Criterion, go for that one.  If not, get this one.  So long as you watch this unbelievable movie.

     The premise is simple.  It’s toward the end of the 60s, and two out-of-work, drug-addled actors attempt to escape the squalor of their surroundings and their disgusting filthy apartment to spend some time in the country.  Marwood (or, “I”) and Withnail head out to the country home of Withnail’s Uncle Monty.  Uncle Monty (Richard Griffiths) is a lecherous homosexual who takes an interest in Peter, perhaps with a little bit of misinformation courtesy Withnail.

     All of this is funny, and well-acted, and well done.  The semi-autobiographical movie from director Bruce Robinson hits all the right notes, and the script is top-notch.  Griffiths is magnificent, Paul McGann is terrific as “I”, but this movie belongs to Richard E. Grant.  His “Withnail” is quite simply one of the most memorable characters I have ever seen in any movie, ever.  He’s a raging menace, a pitiful loser, a sharp-tongued maniac, and a fantastically compelling, watchable, hilarious character.  When he’s on the screen, you can’t take your eyes off him.

     This, Grant’s performance, is the genius of Withnail & I.  Not only does he carry everyone he meets in the film along for his bonkers, mean-spirited, sad ride – he carries the audience along for the ride as well.  Much as Withnail can be loathsome and crass and obnoxious, it is impossible not to want to follow him wherever he’s going.  Not only to see what he’s going to do, but just to be close to someone so utterly charismatic and exuberantly bitter.

     There is a scene where Withnail tries to kill a chicken.  It’s fantastic physical comedy.  Another scene sees him try to escape a fight at a bar when a big guy calls him (and Marwood) a “ponce”.  That is fantastic simply for Withnail’s insane progression through a series of distraught facial expressions.  The scene where their long-haired drug dealer shows up at their apartment is one of the best dialogue scenes in movies.

     What I’m saying is that Withnail & I works in every possible way.  It verges on perfect, and is deservedly a cult classic.  And what I’m also saying is go find it, and watch it, right now.

Year:  1969
Genre:  Western, Classic
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  John Wayne, Robert Duvall, Dennis Hopper, Strother Martin, Kim Darby, Glen Campbell, Jay Silverheels
Director:  Henry Hathaway
Run time:  128 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     True Grit was a competent western.  In fact, it was a pretty good western.  But I must say right off the top that I just don’t think it deserves the acclaim it has received over the years.  Oh, it’s a classic for a reason – there are some good scenes, Rooster Cogburn is one of cinema’s most memorable characters, there are some interesting appearances by a young Robert Duvall and a young Dennis Hopper, “fill your hands, you son of a bitch” is one of the most classic John Wayne lines, and of course this was the movie for which the Duke received his one and only Oscar.

     That being said, the Oscar bestowed upon Wayne here was more of a lifetime achievement award than an actual recognition of his work in this film.  While Cogburn is certainly memorable, he’s not a big stretch for Wayne, who was an easy and natural fit for the role.  Even he seemed a little bemused by his Academy Award, and joked that after a long career with hundreds of films, he had to play a “one-eyed fat man” to finally win.

     I would agree with the Duke there.  Off the top of my head, I can think of dozens of better performances.  Red River, She Wore A Yellow Ribbon, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Quiet Man, the list goes on and on.  And of course, there is the definitive John Wayne movie, maybe the greatest western ever made and (I certainly think) the Duke’s greatest performance, The Searchers.  Any of those movies could have earned him an Oscar, and it would have been well deserved.

     But back to True Grit.  Wayne is solid, the movie is good, and the supporting cast is surprising.  With one major exception – Kim Darby, as 14-year-old Mattie Ross, is the most irritating child character in a movie this side of Edward Furlong in Terminator 2 or that long-haired kid in Dazed And Confused.  She hires Rooster Cogburn to track down the man who killed her father, choosing him for his “true grit”.  Never mind that he’s a sloppy, disgusting, unreliable alcoholic, he has balls and guts and toughness, and that’s what little Mattie wants.  And she’ll guide this buffoon along the trail until the time comes for gunfighting, at which point she’ll just stand aside.  Cool?

     A few little things could have made True Grit better.  A less obnoxious heroine (since Mattie is in the movie as much as Rooster, her annoying persona almost entirely cancels out his compelling persona).  A more interesting bad guy.  More focus on who the bad guy really is.  You know, little things.  And that’s why I’m excited for the remake.

     Obviously, Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing True Grit on Blu-Ray now, December 14th, to help promote their upcoming remake by the Coen Brothers.  (I have no problem with that – I’m excited for the remake too, and I included the new trailer up above.)  The Coen Brothers are, of course, the best film makers working today.  Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon and Josh Brolin are three of the best actors in the world.  I have high, high hopes for the new film.  But the idea of a remake here works only because there is a ton of room for improvement over the original.

     Of course, I think you should watch the original movie as well.  It’s on the shelves now, in Blu-Ray form, and the HD is a solid upgrade.  The best thing about the disc is the special features, which include a feature-length commentary and a quick doc about working with John Wayne.  It’s hard to watch this film again without getting overly enthusiastic about the big theatrical release coming up.

Year:  1951
Genre:  Classic, Romance, Adventure
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Humphrey Bogart, Katherine Hepburn, Robert Morley, Peter Bull, Theodore Bikel, Walter Gotell, Gerald Onn, Peter Swanwick, Richard Marner
Director:  John Huston
Run time:  105 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment
Special feature:  Embracing Chaos: The Making of The African Queen

     The African Queen is one of the most over-rated movies of all time.  The American Film Institute comes out with these lists every year, the 100 Greatest American…whatever…of all time.  The best movie songs, the best actors and actresses, the best thrillers and romances and so forth.  The very first one, more than ten years ago, listed the 100 greatest American movies of all time.  The African Queen was 17th.  Not to say it’s a bad movie.  But the 17th best American movie ever made?  Hardly.

     The African Queen is a good movie.  That’s it.  It’s far more historically significant than it is “great”.  That’s for a couple of reasons.  Back to the AFI for a moment, in their “100 greatest stars” list, they ranked Humphrey Bogart the #1 actor of all time, and Katherine Hepburn the #1 actress of all time.  The African Queen was the first, and only, screen pairing of the two, coming fairly late in both their careers.

     The African Queen, with surprising box office success, marked the resurrection of Hepburn’s career (she had recently been deemed “box office poison”) and began her extremely successful run of films late in her life.  Without this film, and those that followed (through On Golden Pond many many years later) she would not be the icon she is today.

     Another historically significant aspect of The African Queen is that it was Bogart’s only Best Actor Oscar win.  That being said, he deserved one long before this, for Casablanca and The Maltese Falcon and countless other movies.  This was more of a “lifetime achievement” Oscar, the way Paul Newman got his for The Color of Money and Sandra Bullock got hers for The Blind Side.  Frankly, there were three other Oscar nominees (Montgomery Clift in A Place In The Sun, Marlon Brando in A Streetcar Named Desire and Fredrich March in Death Of A Salesman) who were better in 1951.

     Also, the fact that the movie was shot by John Huston in Africa, which was almost unheard of at the time, and some intrigue involving the Hollywood blacklist and some other factors made the making of The African Queen almost as interesting as the movie itself.  The story of that journey is told in the one-hour documentary Embracing Chaos, which is featured on the new DVD as well.

     The fact that The African Queen is just now coming to DVD is a story in itself.  This is the last movie on the AFI’s top 100 list to make it to DVD, and it has been a long wait.  I was hoping for a little more bonus material.  Embracing Chaos is fascinating, and it adds an awful lot to this DVD edition, but I was hoping for something along the lines of the Centennial Collection, where Paramount has been re-releasing classic films with a ton of special features.  The African Queen deserves more special features.

     This movie holds up well.  It’s just two people on a boat for the bulk of the picture, but the fact that it’s Bogey and Hepburn is terrific.  The fact that they’re both middle-aged and don’t exactly still have matinee idol looks is not just interesting, but refreshing.  And the sense of adventure is still palpable.  I maintain that this is not one of the 100 greatest American movies ever made.  But The African Queen is still very good.  And the release of this film on DVD, March 23rd from Alliance Films, is still a very big deal.

Years:  1972
Genre:  Crime, Gangster, Drama, Classic
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Marlon Brando, Al Pacino, Robert Duvall, James Caan, John Cazale, Diane Keaton, Sterling Hayden, Richard Conte, Talia Shire, Al Lettiere, Al Martino, Lenny Montana, Abe Vigoda
Director:  Francis Ford Coppola
Run time: 177 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment
Related reviews:  Godfather trilogy on Blu-Ray

     Although I absolutely love The Godfather, and it is certainly one of the great movies in the history of the world, and all that…it is with certain caveats that I bestow the 10/10 rating on this Blu-Ray edition.  Yes, it’s on Blu-Ray.  And it looks unbelieveable, and it’s still as great as it ever was.  What gives me pause is simply how necessary I think this edition is.  There are few noticeable differences between this Blu-Ray and the one that came out a few months ago with the rest of the trilogy. 

     I would simply suggest that if someone already owns the trilogy on Blu-Ray, there is little reason to purchase the individual Blu-Ray as well.  Also, there is something incongruous and almost sad about putting The Godfather, the greatest most manly tough-guy movie of all time, into a collection called The Sapphire Series.  That’s kinda weird.  Then again, the Sapphire Series also involves Braveheart and Gladiator.  Go figure.  I am giving the Blu-Ray Sapphire Series edition 10/10 because I will never rate The Godfather at less than that.  So it’s certainly worthwhile if all you want is the first one.  But I hope you want the second one too, and the third is under-rated.  Buy the trilogy.

“And here’s the star of the show…Alvin…Alvin…ALVIN!”

Year:  1961
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Run time:  74 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Was this really the very first show?  The one that started it all?  The first Chipmunks show from 1961 that spawned year after year of series and movies and songs and albums and so on and so forth?  I guess so.  The DVD says so.  And I have no reason to doubt the veracity of the back of this DVD.  What I do doubt, however, is the taste of audiences in 1961, who apparently liked this enough to make it a cultural institution.  At least I can understand the voices of the chipmunks a little better than I could in later years.  But wow, is this show ever tiresome!

     In this first show, the chipmunks, who are never really introduced, except in the intro, try to teach a bird how to fly.  And the bird keeps crashing.  And eventually learns how to fly and becomes a far happier bird.  The end.  Oh – the bird is an eagle.  But it doesn’t eat the chipmunks.  That’s implausible.  But it’s far from the worst thing about this show.  Dave is the worst thing about this show.  Early Dave is easily angered, which is upsetting.  He doesn’t pay attention to the chipmunks, and when he does, he doesn’t believe their stories.  What shoddy parenting.  What a shoddy show.  However, if you’re a big-time Chipmunks fan (and I’m sure there are at least four out there), then you’ll want the show that started it all.  And it’s on DVD September 22nd from Paramount Home Entertainment.

“Tribbles.”

Years:  1967, 1968
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, George Takei, Nichelle Nichols, James Doohan, Walter Koenig
Creator:  Gene Roddenberry
Run time:  21 hours, 50 minutes
Blu-Ray distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     For a review of the actual Season Two of Star Trek, click here.  This is a review of the Blu-Ray, which should appeal to all the techno-geeks out there.  And the techno-geeks love their Star Trek.  So it works great.  There really is a higher standard that must be applied to Blu-Ray editions of Star Trek seasons, because the nerds hold the show to that much higher a standard than do fans of other series.  And thankfully, the first two seasons of Star Trek: The Original Series on Blu-Ray have delivered.  The Blu-Ray transfer is impeccable, the added detail and enhanced content is terrific, and the show really does look a lot better in both Season Two and Season One. 

     It’s the special features that matter, however, and those are hit-and-miss.  I still have no idea how that Tribbles episode managed to become the most famous of the Star Trek canon.  I am so sick of the Tribbles episode.  I thought it was cute once, but cute doesn’t hold up over time, unless it’s E.T. cute.  And the tribbles are not E.T. cute.  Yet, the Season Two Blu-Ray of Star Trek comes with an entire bonus disc devoted entirely to tribbles.  Including cartoons and commentary and so forth.  Seriously, Star Trek.  Enough with the tribbles.  The Starfleet Access Mode remains pretty cool, though, and should delight the geek world who revel in their Star Trek.

     OK, I have now run out of links to place with the words “Star Trek” in this review.  So that’s over.  And so’s the review.  This is a wicked Blu-Ray, but enough with the tribbles.  It was forty years ago.  Let it go.

“Look at it Adam.  Feast thine eyes on a scene that approacheth heaven itself.” 

Year:  1960
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Lorne Greene, Michael Landon, Pernell Roberts, Dan Blocker
Run time:  26 hours, 25 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     The theme music is some of the best-known in the world.  The cast is as American as apple pie.  Or cheese-covered deep-fried Oreos.  The guys I hang out with (Doc and Woody and Randall) can rhyme off the cat the way I can rhyme off the roster of the Boston Red Sox.  The Ponderosa.  Hoss and Little Joe and Ben and Adam.  Everything about Bonanza is familiar and comforting.  Even to me.  And until today, I had never seen an episode of the show.  And yet, seeing it for the first time, I was comforted and assuaged and relaxed simply by the easy regularity of the show, the second-longest-running Western show (behind Gunsmoke) in television history. 

     Bonanza lasted 14 seasons, which means that according to my math, and the rate at which Paramount Home Entertainment releases TV series on DVD, we can look forward to about 20 years of reissues and DVD box sets.  Which works for me.  It gives me 20 years to look forward to stuff.  You know, Bonanza stuff.  The opening scene in the opening episode is incredibly cheesy and old.  Ben Cartwright (Lorne Greene) waxes eloquent as he surveys the land around him (the Ponderosa) and compares it to heaven.  I was laughing right away, and looking forward to a cheesy, dated television series that could make me smile.

     I was (sort of) disappointed when I started to watch, however.  It turns out that Bonanza is no more dated than any of the Western movies that were filmed in the same era.  The cast is superb (especially Michael Landon as Little Joe), and the writing is quite good.  Each episode is reasonably gritty and tough and badass, and the first season boils down to a final episode which is very reminiscent of some of the coolest westerns of the day, including Rio Bravo and El Dorado.  The sherriff in Virginia City is overmatched by a gang who have taken over the town, and the Cartwright boys are deputized to help him out, perhaps at the cost of their own father’s life. 

     Of course, knowing that the series lasted another 13 years, I assumed that Lorne Greene would not be killed.  And of course he wasn’t.  And I really do have a lot to look forward to watching over the next 20 years.  As Paramount releases each season, one volume at a time.  At least they’ve released the first two volumes together this time, so you can get the entire first season at once.  I appreciate that, although I would still wish to see one season in one volume.  I can’t imagine who would purchase Season One Volume Two and not Season One Volume One, but that opportunity is out there for that one guy.  It’s out there from Paramount Home Entertainment, on September 15th.

“What you’re about to see is a matter of human record.  Explain it?  We can’t.  Disprove it?  We can’t.  We simply invite you to explore with us the amazing world of the unknown.”

Year:  1959
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  John Newland
Director:  John Newland
Run time:  9 hours, 21 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     There is something breathtakingly cheesy about One Step Beyond, an old TV show about “true stories” of a paranormal variety.  The cheesiness is apparent from the first frame of the first scene of the first show, and yet, it’s glorious.  I revel in the cheese.  I absorb the cheese.  I get absolutely ecstatic about the cheese.  Host John Newland walks onto the screen, and intones somberly some claptrap about real people and real stories and real situations, and the paranormal…and then the episode begins.

     Each half-hour episode is based on a true story, re-enacted by some cheesy actors doing cheesy things and cheesing it up big-time.  These shows have been done several times since.  All kinds of TV series have used “true stories” of the paranormal in order to add an air of authenticity to the whole thing.  most have been reasonably slick presentations, but the original, One Step Beyond, is not one of those productions.  From the opening episode, where a woman becomes possessed with the spirit of a murdered girl on her wedding night, through the rest of the first season, the cheese cuts through each scene in spectacular fashion. 

     I liked the episode about the woman who was chased and almost murdered by the ghost of some guy who murdered his wife in the same room years earlier and was then executed.  I liked the one about the woman who finds her crying husband in the bottom of a ditch under his car following a storm.  Ah, what am I saying?  I like them all.  I like them mostly because of John Newland.  Not only does he add an air of preposterous certainty to the opening theme, but he also introduces the episode in suitably grave fashion.  And then, the most awesome thing about One Step Beyond, he walks onto the screen at the very end of the episode, as the actors exit stage left, to say some grave and important things in conclusion once the episode is done.

     It’s all so very glorious and silly, and yet classic.  Seen as a television show, One Step Beyond most certainly doesn’t hold up over time.  But seen as a time capsule, as a show that could have existed only in 1959 and at no other time, it’s spellbinding and bonkers.  And I love it.  How this show didn’t become the biggest cult classic supernatural show of all time is beyond me.  It’s like Plan 9 From Outer Space, except the televised version.  Of course, it’s better than Plan 9.  But it shares that cheesy sensibility that made the film such a terrific cult classic.  And this TV series is similar, and wonderful.