Years:  2010
Genre:  Comedy, Stand-up
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Greg Giraldo, Seth MacFarlane, Pamela Anderson, Hulk Hogan, Jerry Springer, Gilbert Gottfried, Jeffrey Ross, Lisa Lampanelli, Whitney Cummings, George Hamilton
Guest appearances:  Sharon Osbourne, Piers Morgan
Run time:  67 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Dedicated to Greg Giraldo, who tragically passed away last year after this roast, the Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff comes out January 11th from Paramount Home Entertainment.  If you’re looking to honour Giraldo by watching some of his material, there are better ways.  Try to find Greg Giraldo: Midlife Vices.  It’s a far better showcase for Giraldo’s humour than this sad, trite pile of garbage.

     I have compiled a list of the jokes I heard most often on this special…here goes…

  #1 – Pamela Anderson has huge knockers.  I heard many of these same jokes during the Roast of Pamela Anderson.  By the same comedians.  They are still boring.

  #2 – George Hamilton has a ridiculous fake tan.  This is true.  But then, why the hell is George Hamilton here at all?

  #3 – Pamela Anderson is a huge slut and has sex with men with big penises.  Again…I’ve heard all this before.

  #4 – Hulk Hogan is gay.  I guess he IS wearing a feather boa and looks silly…wait.  Again, why the hell is he here?

  #5 – Lisa Lampanelli is ugly and fat and likes to have sex with black guys.  I have heard these jokes many times before.  On every other roast ever.  Because that, apparently, is all Lisa Lampanelli ever does.  Have sex with black guys and appear on roasts.  And be unfunny.

  #6 – Jerry Springer is a bottom-feeder.  Haha cause, you know his show and everything?  All those trailer sluts?  Haha.  Funny, huh?  And wait – why the hell is Jerry Springer here?

  #7 – George Hamilton’s career is dead.  It must be…he’s appearing on seriously awful Comedy Central specials…like this one.

  #8 – Hulk Hogan’s daughter is slutty and looks like a man.  Well…that’s kinda true.  And kinda funny.

  #9 – David Hasselhoff is a bad actor.  True…but there were EIGHT jokes that were repeated more often than the one about the person BEING roasted?  Remember why we’re here, people…David Hasselhoff.  The subject of tonight’s proceedings?

  #10 – David Hasselhoff is drunk and likes cheeseburgers.  And…that was it.  There are only two David Hasselhoff jokes in the world, it seems.

     Attempts were made to connect Hasselhoff with Pamela Anderson.  Since…what the hell, she’s sitting there anyway.  But again, these “jokes” are made at her expense, not his.  And there are some half-hearted attempts to make fun of the fact that Hasselhoff is big in Germany…but they suck.  In fact, all of this sucks.  It’s just a bunch of weak comedians and why-are-they-there celebrities peacocking around and laughing at each other.  But I wasn’t laughing.  Cause it wasn’t funny.  It was dreadful.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 4th, 2011 at 8:35 am and is filed under 2010, Comedy, Stand-up. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.