Years:  2008
Genre:  Comedy, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  DB Sweeney, John C McGinley, Paul Hipp, Moira Kelly, Ed Harris, Janet Jones, Ned Bellamy, Pat Hingle
Eye candy:  Kelly, Jones, Vanna White, Jenn Brown, Mandy Brown, Nina Kaczorowski, Tanya Mayeux
Interesting cameos:  Tristan Gretzky, Vanna White
Director:  DB Sweeney
Run time:  91 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I feel for Paul Hipp.  There are three stars in Two Tickets To Paradise.  D.B. Sweeney, who also directed.  John C. McGinley, who is a recognizeable character actor with a long and successful career.  And Hipp.  Who doesn’t get mentioned on the cover of the DVD or in the credits on the back.  There are other actors in the movie too – Moira Kelly, who plays Sweeney’s wife.  Ed Harris, who plays a one-armed carnival worker.  They are in the movie for about six minutes each.  They get top billing.  Based on the cover, I thought it was a McGinley – Sweeney – Ed Harris road trip where someone likely met and banged Moira Kelly.  It wasn’t, but I spent the first twenty minutes of the movie wondering where Ed Harris was, and who the hell was this other guy?  False advertising, I say.

     The three lifelong buddies decide to embark on a road trip to Florida for the NCAA championship because they have a couple of tickets.  McGinley is on the run after having run up a massive gambling debt with some local tough-guy bookies.  Sweeney is a failed musician with a lousy wife (Kelly).  And the other guy is just a total loser.  All three are, of course, total losers.  They’ve never made anything of their lives, after showing so much initial promise, and blah blah blah the plot of every road trip movie with actors over thirty ever.  I wonder if they will bond once again, and take charge of their own lives, and improve themselves upon their return?  Let’s wait and see.

     There is some snappy dialogue, and McGinley is pretty good as the desperate, unkempt gambling addict.  With the exception of a few painfully overacted scenes (the one where he tries to bully his friends into finding someone who lives in Vegas who can make a huge bet for him is a glaring example of Just Too Much).  Sweeney is pretty good too, as a guy who seems cool at times but at heart is as big a loser as his two buddies.  With the exception of a couple of painful scenes (like the one where he is pissing and ends up surrounded by alligators.  Haha – get it?  He’s scared!)

     There isn’t much interesting about Two Tickets To Paradise, except for a few stretches of funny smart dialogue (one conversation about music and the placement of tracks on CDs will seem extremely familiar to many of my contemporaries).  The most interesting thing about the film might be the supporting cast.  Vanna White appears as herself, for some reason, totally seperate from the actual film.  Janet Jones (Wayne Gretzky’s wife going by her actor-name) plays McGinley’s wife.  Tristan Gretzky (Wayne and Janet’s son) plays McGinley’s kid.  Their names, of course, are far more interesting than they are.

     And there is some nice eye candy along the way, including Jenn Brown as a Hooters girl and a few strippers here and there (no nudity, however.  This movie is apparently rated R for the occasional crude sexual comment and allusions to drug use.  But no violence, no nudity, and not a heck of a lot of swearing.  This is one of the more unusual R ratings I have ever seen.)  Oh yeah.  And Paul Hipp.  Since the first paragraph, bemoaning Hipp’s exclusion from the marquee here, I haven’t even mentioned him myself.  That’s because he sucks.

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