Year:  2010
Genre:  Comedy
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Alice Eve, Jay Baruchel, T.J. Miller, Mike Vogel, Nate Torrence, Krysten Ritter
Eye candy:  Alice Eve
Director:  Jim Field Smith
Run time:  104 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Some of the greatest comedies of recent years have been made by director Judd Apatow and his favourite star, Seth Rogen.  Some of the weakest comedies have been pale imitations of the Apatow-Rogen mold.  She’s Out Of My League falls, sadly, into that category.  This movie is essentially 40 Year Old Virgin Revisited, with Jay Baruchel playing the Steve Carrell character, T.J. Ritter playing the Seth Rogen character, and Mike Vogel, Nate Torrence and Krysten Ritter filling in the rest. 

     See, there’s this really lame, really nerdy guy (Baruchel).  And for some reason, the hottest girl he’s ever seen (Alice Eve) likes him and asks him out.  Apparently, actually, Alice Eve is the hottest human being anyone has ever seen.  Every person who sees her in this movie becomes instantly incapable of speech.  They stare at her, they fall over themselves and others, they walk into conveniently placed telephone poles.  If this girl ever hid behind a mailbox and watched people go by, she would probably be stunned to find out that the real world is not, in fact, a neverending Three Stooges episode.

     Of course, Baruchel’s buddies are flabergasted.  And they tell him that he is fighting out of his weight class, studying above his reading level, and a bunch of other metaphors that tell him Alice Eve is too good for him.  T.J. Ritter does his best to channel Seth Rogen, but the lines written for him aren’t nearly as funny.  And he is a pale imitation of Seth Rogen.  Jim Field Smith does his best to channel Judd Apatow, but he doesn’t quite understand what makes Apatow comedies work.  There are a few things Apatow does that this movie does not.  First, Apatow’s movies are funny.  Second, each character makes sense.  And third, there is actually some subtlety in Apatow’s work.  Example:

     In 40 Year Old Virgin, Steve Carrell takes the advice of his buddies and gets his chest waxed.  Yes, the chest waxing is a little bit funny.  But what makes the scene work is the dialogue and the reaction of the other actors.  And when Steve Carrell gets up halfway through, and quits the whole process while he still looks like a “man-o-lantern”, it makes sense.  It works.  In fact, that whole scene is almost a parody of so many female-centred childbirth scenes in so many other films.  In She’s Out of My League, Baruchel takes the advice of his buddies and shaves his scrotum.  Well, actually, he gets his buddy to shave it for him.  They are both uncomfortable.  And…that’s it.  Just shaving a scrotum is supposed to be funny enough for a laugh and a scene.  It isn’t.

     Anyway, of course Eve and Baruchel have a falling out because she’s all hot and he’s all…not.  And then they come to their senses and the film ends with a running-through-an-airport scene.  Really.  And I got the sense that this running-through-the-airport scene wasn’t supposed to be a parody of the four thousand identical scenes that had come before in four thousand other movies.  I really think it was written  seriously, like “of course the movie ends with a run through an airport – don’t all romantic comedies do that?”

     If you haven’t seen the movie, and I just gave away the ending, you might be irritated with me.  You know, if you were planning to see it anyway, even though it’s bad.  But when you do, you will realize that you clearly know this will happen anyway.  I’m really not giving anything away here.  Then again, I really hope you don’t watch this film.  Rent 40 Year Old Virgin instead.  She’s Out of My League comes out June 22nd from Paramount Home Entertainment.

Year:  1962
Genre:  TV series, Comedy
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Fred MacMurray, William Frawley
Producer:  Don Fedderson
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I have complained in the past about the trite sitcom scenarios in My Three Sons.  In the years since this show was on the air, sitcoms have come and gone, and nothing about My Three Sons feels new any more.  And that takes away a lot of the funny, although the cast remains excellent.  In watching Season Two, Volume Two, out June 15th from Paramount Home Entertainment, I did realize that there are little things in the show that make it worth checking out again.

     Mostly, it’s the fact that this show is terrifically dated.  In a sort of neat, time-capsule sort of way.  The first episode of Season Two Volume Two sees Bub getting a job.  See, he finds an ad in the paper advertising “Housewives Rebel!”  It was a long time ago, of course.  Housewives still needed to rebel – by getting a part-time job to relieve the tedium of housework, you see.  And Bub (as was hilarious at the time) is essentially a housewife.  So away he goes.  And although the little things are intriguing – the prim and proper ladies at the employment office, the vaguely misogynist feel of all job opportunities – the rest of the show plays out like a standard sitcom.  A funny, but terribly dated sitcom.

Years:  2010
Genre:  Comedy, Stand-up
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Lewis Black
Run time:   80 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I am a huge fan of Lewis Black.  He is as incisive and funny as any comedian since George Carlin.  Stark Raving Black, out June 15th from Paramount Home Entertainment, is not his best stuff.  This is one of the weakest sets I have seen from him, as he doesn’t really take on current events or social insanity the way he normally does.  He has some good bits about biofuels, and performing at USO shows, but the set meanders and rarely hits home.

     That being said, this DVD is fantastic anyway.  It comes with 150 minutes of bonus material, including a documentary on Black’s life and career called Basic Black.  It’s fascinating stuff, and there’s enough of it that Lewis Black fans like me will be sitting down for hours to take all of this in.

     Now, there’s also a fold-out poster inside.  That sort of perplexed me.  Lewis Black doesn’t seem like the kind of guy who would ask for a fold-out poster of himself to be included with his DVD release.  In fact, I suspect he’s the kind of guy who would laugh at something like that.  Actually – that’s a special feature I would have loved to see on this DVD.  The conversation where the producers of this stand-up special pitched the “fold-out poster” idea to Lewis Black.  I’m hoping for that one on the next DVD release.  And I will be able to watch it on my television, which is now conveniently located directly beneath a poster of Lewis Black.

Year:  1994
Genre:  TV series, TV movie
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Richard Dean Anderson, Brian Blessed, Sophie Ward, Christian Burgess, Nicholas Farrell, Lena Headey
Directors:  Charles Correll, Michael Vejar
Run time:  185 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I have a serious soft spot for MacGyver, the TV series that did more to shape my youth than baseball games and violin practice combined.  Then again, when I was a child, my TV got only three channels, and MacGyver was one of only two shows I ever watched.  (The other was Wonderstruck, a Canadian TV show about actual science, unlike MacGyver which was about pseudo-science.) 

     That being said, I can’t look back on MacGyver with too much nostalgia, because really this was a dreadful show.  I didn’t know that when I was seven and thought it was the coolest TV series of all time.  I didn’t know that the plots were thin and the dialogue was cheesy and the “science” was implausible.  And I wasn’t aware that twenty years later, MacGyver’s mullet would look really silly.

     On June 15th, Paramount Home Entertainment releases MacGyver: The TV Movies on DVD.  After the series had run its course, a little bit more was milked out of the franchise with a couple of made-for-TV movies, Lost Treasure Of Atlantis and Trail To Doomsday.  They are packaged together here on this DVD, and both are silly.  You know, like the show was.  Doomsday is a spy story where MacGyver investigates the murder of his friend, clashing with KGB agents and the like.  It starts out amazing – MacGyver is driving a hot red sexy expensive convertible.  Of course, the MavGyver I remember would never drive a car like this.  But there’s a solution – MacGyver is uncomfortable in the car, that has been given to him during his visit by his old friend.  That way, MacGyver can keep his persona, and the film makers can slip a sexy car into the show.

     Thankfully, the car blows up about halfway through the movie.  There is precious little “MacGyver” action in this one, and by that I mean he doesn’t spend much time with chewing gum and his swiss army knife and a couple of teabags and a pylon building some kind of detonator.  Instead, he mostly fights people and runs from other people.  And eventually, solves the crime and unravels the espionnage and rocks the mullet.

     The better movie in this set is clearly Lost Treasure of Atlantis, where MacGyver and some hot chick help his old professor discover the lost city of Atlantis.  Yes, forget for a moment that this sounds like a rejected Indiana Jones plot line, or a cheesy and horrible Relic Hunter episode.  At least MacGyver uses “science” to build things and escape from other things and do more cool stuff.  You know, if the writers of this show are still in contact with each other, perhaps they can put their heads together and do something about the BP oil spill?  Just thinking…even MacGyver’s silliness can’t be dumber than the stuff they’ve come up with so far.

     One more thing about these made-for-TV movies that is bugging me.  Remember in the very last season of MacGyver, long after the show jumped the shark, they finally revealed MacGyver’s first name?  Maybe you don’t.  Maybe MacGyver was a bigger deal to me at the time.  But after finding out his name, he went back to simply being “MacGyver”.  But in these movies, he is presented as “Angus MacGyver”!  At least no one is calling him “Angus”. 

     As I said, I have a serious soft spot for MacGyver.  And because of my nostalgic yearning for this show and all its mullety goodness, I was very excited about this DVD.  And even after I watched Trail To Doomsday, which was truly awful and cheesy, I was still excited for Lost Treasure Of Atlantis.  Which I think serves to illustrate one of two things.  Either the power of nostalgia over a reasonably sane mind, or the incredible extent to which I am a total dork.  Or maybe both.

Year:  2010
Genre:  Kids, Comedy, TV series
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Miranda Cosgrove, Nathan Kress, Jennette McCurdy, Jerry Trainor
Director:  Steve Hoefer
Run time:  139 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     I guess every TV show feels this weird need to inject some drama by having two characters who may or may not like each other, or love each other, and who may or may not get it on at some point during the show’s run.  Sometimes it is done reasonably well, like Sam and Rebecca on Cheers, or Niles and Daphne on Frasier.  And sometimes it’s just a lazy gimmick on a silly show, like Sydney and Nigel on Relic Hunter, or MacGyver and Pete on MacGyver.

     iCarly falls into that latter category.  Freddy is in love with Carly, and has been since episode one of season one.  The reason he is in love with Carly is that this is a TV show, and a lazy one, and a plot like Freddy’s unrequited love creates a really easy way to get a laugh or two without really trying.  But, as with all such shows, there has to be a moment or two in an episode or two where we, the viewers, think that the impossible is about to happen, and Freddy and Carly might actually…get together!

     This is the basic premise of iSaved Your Life, out June 8th from Paramount Home Entertinament.  See, Freddy saves Carly’s life, and she thinks she has fallen in love with him, and they kiss.  Oh boy, have I ever been waiting for this very moment!  Why don’t more kids shows do this?  Why aren’t Patrick and Spongebob coming ever-so-close to disclosing their true feelings for each other in every third episode?

     I think I know the reason.  And no, it isn’t that it would be creepy for kids shows to do this…with kids.  No, it’s because (perhaps surprisingly) most kids TV shows like Spongebob are NOT lazy.  They are well-written, and funny, and they actually make an effort.  Not to slag on iCarly too hard, because it is a decent show with good actors and some good writing at times.  But it is also a lazy show.  And too often the episodes are uninspired and lame.

     Case in point – another episode, on this very same DVD, involves Sam kissing Freddy.  There are only four episodes.  And two of them involve Freddy and kissing.  Now, I pretend I want something better, but really I’m just relieved that I can stop holding my breath now that I have finally seen those two fourteen year olds with the TV show lock lips.  Time to move on!

Year:  2010
Genre:  Drama, Thriller
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley, Max Von Sydow, Patricia Clarkson, Michelle Williams, Emily Mortimer, Jackie Earle Haley
Director:  Martin Scorcese
Run time:  137 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     There are some cool gimmicks that coincide with the release of Shutter Island on DVD, June 8th from Paramount Home Entertainment.  One is a facebook-connected game, the Shutter Island psych test.  Are you sane enough to be released from Shutter Island?  Click here to find out.  The weird thing is, there are no gimmicks on the DVD itself.  In fact, aside from the movie itself, there is almost nothing on the DVD, in terms of special features.

     I would have expected at least a couple.  It’s rare that I complain about a lack of special features.  After all, I rarely watch them anyway, and I have little interest.  But with Shutter Island, I watched the DVD with some friends, and all of us went searching for extras as soon as it was over.  This was the second time I had seen the film.  The first time, in the theatre, I liked it.  But the second time, I saw more than I did in the theatre, and liked it more.

     Shutter Island is not what I expect from Martin Scorcese and Leonardo DiCaprio.  It’s…well…gimmicky.  That is of course by design, as the movie is a throwback to the noir potboilers of the 50s and 60s.  It’s genuinely tense, even when you have seen it once and know what’s about to happen.  It’s filmed in such a gritty and dark way that many scenes left me breathless even when not much was actually happening.  And although the finale is a little obvious, there are so many twists and turns along the way that I didn’t care.

     That’s the main reason to pick up Shutter Island, the twists and turns and mystery that unfolds slowly throughout the film.  I gave this movie six stars after seeing it in the theatre.  Now I watch again, and I give it seven stars.  Perhaps after four more viewings, I will consider it to be the greatest movie of all time.  That’s unlikely, but Shutter Island does require multiple viewings.  So you have two choices on June 8th – either rent the film five times, or buy it and watch it five times.

Year:  2009
Genre:  TV series
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Benjamin Bratt, Grace Park, Esteban Powell
Guest stars:  Whoopi Goldberg, Mia Kirshner, Lori Petty, Janina Gavankar, Richard Lewis, Rebecca Gayheart
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment
Related reviews:  The Cleaner Season One

     I have already distilled my feelings on The Cleaner into a single review, for Season One (click on the link above).  Now that Paramount Home Entertainment is releasing Season Two on DVD June 1st, I can put this series to bed.  As CBS did after Season Two.  The thing is, this just wasn’t a very good show, ever.  The more I watch, the more I want to like it.  It’s earnest, and sincere, and really wants to be gritty and powerful.  It simply fails because I don’t think any of the people who write the show actually understand drug addiction and drug culture.

     There are attempts through Season Two to equate sex addiction with drug addiction and so forth.  Most of the episodes centre around alcoholism.  There are a few attempts at drama between the main characters.  But the whole thing comes off as the product of writers and producers who grew up on after-school specials and Abel Ferrara movies.  Is there no middle ground?  How do you take the gritty, dingy, underworld type look of Abel Ferrara and apply it to a kids-fixing-the-community-centre after-school special plot?  It just doesn’t work.

     Another thing that doesn’t work are the guest stars.  There are some fairly big ones, Whoopi Goldberg probably being the biggest, in the very first episode.  But she shows up, and isn’t really introduced at all.  She has some kind of murky history with Benjamin Bratt, we learn.  Sort of.  But really, she’s just there, being Whoopi Goldberg, without much to do or say.  And when she doesn’t appear for the next episode, I don’t really care.  In fact, I barely remembered she was in the last one.  I suspect that a year from now, I will barely remember The Cleaner at all.  Even though I have now watched both full seasons.

Year:  2005
Genre:  Science Fiction
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Miranda Otto, Justin Chatwin, Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman (narrator)
Director:  Steven Spielberg
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     There are certain people who can do no wrong.  When you say “Albert Pujols had a weak season”, you mean it was a weak season by Pujols standards, which means he hit .310 with 35 home runs and 109 RBIs.  It’s still pretty darn good.  And when I say that a Steven Spielberg movie is weak, I mean by Spielberg standards, and I am referring to War of the Worlds.  Which is weak only because it isn’t Schindler’s List or Munich.

     War of the Worlds is being released on Blu-Ray today by Paramount Home Entertainment, and it’s time to pick this movie up.  I happen to be one of the many thousands of people in the world who believe that everyone ought to own every single Spielberg movie ever made.  Then again, I AM the guy who owns every Steven Seagal movie ever made.  So take me with a grain of salt, if you must.

     Here’s the deal though – the Blu-Ray, high-definition transfer of War of the Worlds is disappointing.  There are no new special features of note, and the high definition enhances the picture only a little.  So here’s what I recommend.  If you don’t already own War of the Worlds, you should own it.  So purchase it on Blu-Ray, because it is a superior format and it IS marginally better than the original DVD.  But if you own that original DVD already, don’t bother spending the money on an upgrade.  This is a good movie that looks good enough already.