Download The Hills, Complete Fourth Season 

“You never told Mom and Dad all this stuff about you and Spencer.”
“I don’t need them knowing every detail of my life.”

 Year:  2008
Genre:  TV series, Reality show, and…I don’t know what else…garbage?
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  A bunch of douchebags
Eye candy:  Lauren Conrad, Audrina Patridge, Stephanie Pratt, Heidi Montag, Lo Bosworth, Jayde Nicole, other losers
Creator:  Adam DiVello
Run time:  10 episodes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment
Related reviews:  The Hills Season Three

     Umm…news flash, blondie.  Your parents need only turn on their TVs, flip through the pages of a supermarket tabloid, or click on a celebrity website, to know exactly what is going on in your life.  And I mean every detail.  Not just your relationship with that unshaven douchebag that sits in your living room, but also your idiotic feud with your equally brainless ex-friends, your painfully stupid and irritating behaviour, and everything else imaginable.  Statements like this one are the reason this show is ridiculous.  Like so many Britney Spears songs, the silliness of The Hills lies in the idea that they want so desperately to be seen, to be recognized, to be famous, and they hope to achieve that fame by saying words like “why are you looking at me?  Why are you taking my picture?”  It’s ludicrous.

     What’s even worse about this show is that the show itself gives these irritating people the license to over-dramatize things that don’t deserve to be dramatic in any way.  These are hot young people who live in massive houses and have no worries about money at all, but they must create drama in order for their show to succeed and their fame to grow.  So they cry about boyfriends and the people they hate and the people they love and their hangnails and their hairdos.  These are things that barely cause a ripple in peoples’ lives when they are fifteen.  These people are ostensibly in their twenties.  But they have never progressed, emotionally, past the age of fifteen, because that is what makes good TV.

     And how dramatic can your life really be when it’s clear the producers are setting things up to create tension, silliness and stupidity at every turn?  The Hills should really be called the Oh Poor Me Show.  And how can any of these “real life” people do anything or say anything against their “friends” when they know for sure those people will be able to see it on television?  Why doesn’t the show ever show them watching the show?  Are they making some pretense of not calling attention to the fact that it is a produced thing, and not necessarily “real” life?  How can anyone stay happy after watching an episode of this show?  And I don’t mean just the actors – I mean TV viewers as well.

     The most irritating thing about The Hills, however, is not even the actors.  Or real people.  Whatever they are.  It’s the soundtrack.  It is apparently impossible for these TV producers to allow even the most innocuous line delivered by some airhead to go by without throwing in some music video with a powerful, Oh Poor Me song to play behind the shots of people driving to bars.  There is more music in The Hills than there is action.  You would think, with a “reality” show that follows people around all day, every day, with a camera, that there would be more actual content.  I would think that.  I guess I would be wrong.  I guess these people are too vapid to fill a half hour show with staged drama.  So we need more Dashboard Confessional songs.  Please.

     Now, I understand that I am not the target audience for The Hills.  In that I can walk and chew gum at the same time, I read books, and I have an IQ that is higher than that of an apple.  But the popularity of this show is such that it can’t just be idiots watching.  Smart people must watch this show as well.  And that is something I tried to figure out while watching Season Four.  And I just don’t get it.  I tried, Hills fans.  I tried!  Season Four comes out March 3rd, from Paramount Home Entertainment.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 3rd, 2009 at 3:22 am and is filed under 2008, Garbage, Reality, TV series. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.