Years:  2007
Genre:  TV series, Cop, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Rob Morrow, David Krumholtz, Peter MacNicol, Judd Hirsch, Navi Rawat, Alimi Ballard, Dylan Bruno, Aya Sumika, Sophina Brown
Creators:  Nicolas Falacci, Cheryl Heuton
Producers:  Ridley Scott, Tony Scott
Run time:  16 hours 23 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment
Related reviews:  Numbers Season Five

     Numb3rs is a show with a laudable premise. It attempts to educate people about the glorious, bad-ass side of math and physics while entertaining them and catching bad guys. You see, the cops have recruited a mathematical genius to help them solve their more difficult cases. Which, in the end, could really make for a cool show. But…we don’t get that. What we get is a pretty standard template for each episode. A crime is committed, and the cops are investigating. Which proceeds like a normal cop show, with regular filming and standard acting. Then the cops hit a snag, and the math guy happens to be walking by. He comes up with a way to solve the problem, mathematically. He explains this theory using some kind of analogy, and the camera starts jump-cutting, switches to black and white, and the soundtrack funks up. Like the math portion of this show is a music video, while the rest is CSI: Nerd. The math portion, it turns out, is either something obvious the cops should be doing anyway, or it’s a stretch on credibility that this mathematical solution could ever be applied to this problem.

     The one episode in the Fourth Season that illustrates this best is one that has to do with street racing. To determine exactly what happened when a street racer crashes into a café and kills a man, the math guy turns to an engineer friend who happens to have the exact car-crash simulation software that can solve the case. Over the course of several music-video-edited montages, he discovers that someone else must have crashed into the car before it ran into the café. After many analogies and simulations, they determine what exactly happened, and then – it has nothing to do with the resolution of the episode. At all. It turns out the real question is “who murdered the street car racing driver”, and not “how did this happen”. In fact, the math stuff makes no difference whatsoever to the outcome of the show. But then, that’s fairly standard with this program. The mathematical “genius” moments are shoehorned in without really being essential to any episode.

     Now, there are some good actors on this program, and the actual cop stuff is just about as good as any of the cop stuff on other similar programs. But the one thing that slows the show down is the one thing that is supposed to make it unique. And that’s too bad. Using an analogy to the behaviour of lions and jackals when discussing the behavious of humans who are being blackmailed doesn’t ring true. Then the mathematical model that will plug the name of the real killer into the equation strains credibility. Anyone who thinks they are learning something about math by watching Numb3rs is mistaken. I’m not even sure they will be entertained. Numb3rs, Season Four comes out on DVD Tuesday, September 30th from Paramount Home Entertainment.

A show that is actually very good is coming out on September 30th courtesy of Paramount Home Entertainment. Now, before I go ahead and explain about the show, let me explain why I used the word “actually”. Because on the surface, this show appears to be one that will be terrible. Here’s the deal – it’s a cartoon show, produced by PBS, about PBS. I know, hearing the word “PBS” instantly puts one in the mindframe of a person who is in danger of lapsing into a coma simply from boredom. And the idea of a PBS-produced cartoon program is cringe-inducing. And further, the fact that it’s a PBS-produced program about public broadcasting seems like a double dose of snore-fest.

But. This is not the case with Click And Clack:  As The Wrench Turns. Which is, “actually”, a terrific show with clever humour and politically astute commentary. The show centres around two guys who run a call-in car repair radio show on PBS. They are loafers, they suck at their jobs, but hey – it’s PBS! I was ready to hate this. Then, in the first episode, the two brothers decide to run for president, hire a James Carville clone to work their campaign, and manage to create some really pointed social commentary. The next episode is all about outsourcing, as the radio guys outsource their jobs to India. It’s an even more biting satire, and extremely clever. While on the surface Click And Clack seems like a bad idea, it isn’t. It’s a very good idea. And picking it up is a good idea too.

Alliance Films is releasing another VeggieTales DVD on Tuesday, September 30th. Where’s God When I’m S-Scared is just another VeggieTales DVD. Nothing terribly special about it, it’s just an episode about being scared at night and God helping out somehow. Because God, you see, is bigger than whatever it is that frightens you. So there is no point in being terrified of the dark, or the night, or Julia Stiles, because God can kick all of their asses. Or, at least, that’s what I learned from this. And although VeggieTales remains a little too preachy for my liking, at least it does the “good” kind of preaching. Like, everybody is worth something, and don’t discriminate, and don’t be selfish. That sort of thing. You know, the good religion. And this particular VeggieTales DVD features the best part of the show – the songs.

A few months ago, Alliance released a DVD full of nothing but the silly songs from VeggieTales. Those remain the best part of the show, and the two little episodes on this DVD are no different. A song about Daniel being thrown to the lions is particularly entertaining, as is the bizarre song about a water buffalo. There is even a special feature episode of something called 3-2-1 Penguins, which is another animated show that appears to have nothing to do with VeggieTales at all, except that it’s kinda preachy too. That one you can skip.

Casper: Trick Or Treat is really the Casper The Friendly Ghost Classics Collection Volume One. Alliance Films is releasing the DVD Tuesday, September 30th, as a way to get some Hallowe’en stuff out to the shelves before the day comes up. While Casper must appeal to some nostalgia buffs out there, I’m not sure it holds up over time. Casper, you see, is a friendly ghost. And he lives with three other ghosts, who are irritated at Casper’s friendliness. You see, they feel that the main purpose of a ghost is to scare people. And Casper isn’t really living up to his end of the being-a-ghost bargain. Except that in reality, he is.

You see, much to Casper’s chagrin, he does scare people. Simply by being a ghost. In his Hallowe’en special, he can go around outside, and no one is scared, because it’s Hallowe’en and everyone assumes he’s dressed up as a ghost. But when they see him passing through doors and trees and so forth, they realize he’s for real, and they’re terrified. So the other three ghosts really have no reason to be upset. Whether he likes it or not, he IS scaring people, and there is actually no problem at all. While Casper: Trick Or Treat is pretty good for nostalgia, it isn’t terribly good for Hallowe’en.

Hollywood is shedding a few tears today.  Many people say Steve McQueen was the ultimate man’s man in the movies.  Others cast votes for John Wayne, or Clint Eastwood.  But not me.  As far as I’m concerned, the greatest man’s man in movie history passed away yesterday, September 26th, at the age of 83.  I must confess, although I have been a Newman fanatic for years, I didn’t expect this news to hit me so hard.  He had been battling cancer for years, and we all knew it was coming.  But even outside the movies, he still seemed like some kind of masculine, indestructible superman.  Even at the age of 80 he was still racing cars and living a very vital lifestyle.  Paul Newman can’t die!  He’s Cool Hand Luke, he’s a race car driver, he’s immortal!

And, in a very real way, the classy, genuine Paul Newman, like so many other great actors, is immortal.  John Wanye, Steve McQueen, Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney – they will never be forgotten.  And neither will Newman.  Here are ten ways never to forget this incredible man, one of the greatest actors ever to appear on the silver screen:

10.    The Hudsucker Proxy:  The Coen Brothers’ first real attempt at screwball comedy.  A huge budget (for the Coens, at the time) and a terrific cast.  Tim Robbins is on his way upstairs to show Paul Newman, the corporate executive, his idea for a new children’s toy.  At the same time, Charles Durning, the company’s president, is flying out the boardroom window.  Newman sees an opportunity to install the dimwitted Robbins in Durning’s place, so he can take over the company.  Newman is delightful as the scheming, manipulative villain – the type Frank Capra could easily have created in the 40s.  Sidney J. Mussberger is one of Newman’s best roles.

9.    Road To Perdition:  Once again, Newman is a fairly bad guy in this one, playing an aging Irish crime boss.  His main hitman, Tom Hanks, has been his sort of surrogate son for many years.  But when Newman’s biological son, (Daniel Craig) decides to wipe out Hanks’ family, Hanks comes after them hard.  Jude Law also stars as a rival hitman sent to take out Hanks, and Newman is once again magnificent in a supporting role as the kindly yet dangerous John Rooney.

8.    The Color of Money:  The only Oscar Newman ever won.  Of course, he was really winning more for his entire body of work, and not specifically for this movie.  He is still tremendous, reprising his role as Fast Eddie Felson from the classic film The Hustler.  Taking young Tom Cruise under his wing, Newman manages to take the George C. Scott character from the original film, combine him with his own Felson character, and create an entirely new character.  He is going down the road toward becoming exactly the type of man who ruined him so many years earlier.  Newman conveys the seething turmoil within his character in a top-notch performance.

7.    The Towering Inferno:  Not the greatest movie of Newman’s career, but an excellent chance to see three of the greatest manly actors in history go toe-to-toe.  To toe.  Newman is the architect of a gigantic skyscraper, William Holden is the man who built that skyscraper, and Steve McQueen is the fire chief who gets called in when that skyscraper burns to the ground.  Fred Astaire and Faye Dunaway also star, but it’s the heroic men who make this movie resonate to this day.  McQueen, Holden, and of course Newman.  Doug Roberts belongs on a list of Newman’s great roles.

6.    Slap Shot:  Certainly one of Newman’s most beloved movies, and one of his most memorable roles.  The greatest sports movie of all time, Slap Shot is so much more than just the Hanson Brothers and Denis Lemieux and the play-by-play guys.  It is Newman, through and through.  Newman just oozes effortless charm as he sleeps with women, inspires his team, and does what he can to hold a failing hockey club together.  But there is something deeper going on within his character, a sort of resignation, sadness and pain that he balances perfectly with the humour of the hockey fighting.  Reggie Dunlop is the most memorable fictional character in the history of sports movies, thanks to Paul Newman.

5.    The Verdict:  An alcoholic loser of a lawyer (Newman) finds a case that could mean either his redemption or his destruction.  Frankly, there isn’t much difference between The Verdict and other, similar lawyer-and-courtroom dramas.  Erin Brockovich, or A Civil Action.  The biggest difference is Newman himself.  As the drunken bum lawyer, he is simply stunning.  A familiar story is elevated to greatness by not only one of the greatest performances of Newman’s career, but one of the greatest performances in movies.  Ever.  Paul Newman makes Frank Galvin an iconic figure.

4.    The Sting:  A far more lighthearted entry than The Verdict or even Slap Shot, The Sting is the ultimate, well, sting movie.  Newman’s second brilliant pairing with Robert Redford, he manages to infuse his character with more than just light comedic silliness as he and Redford set up the ultimate sting to nail the local racketeer, Doyle Donnegan (played by Robert Shaw).  Newman once again plays a drunk, dragging himself out of his stupor to get Donnegan.  Henry Gondorff is one of Paul Newman’s greatest characters.

3.    Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid:  Newman’s first magnificent collaboration with Redford and director George Roy Hill (who later directed The Sting as well).  One of the greatest western movies ever made, Redford and Newman once again inject humanity and pathos into some pretty light fare.  And is there a greater final image than the two of them bursting out of that doorway, guns raised?  Paul Newman, for ever more, will be Butch Cassidy.

2.    The Hustler:  Again, Newman puts in one of the greatest performances in movie history.  A young pool hustler taken under the wing of the malicious and sadistic George C. Scott (also one of the great performances in history), Newman creates memorable moment after memorable moment.  There may be no greater scene in his entire career than the one where he takes on Minnesota Fats (Jackie Gleason), in a marathon pool game.  There is no one else on earth who could have done what Newman did in this movie with the character of Fast Eddie Felson.

1.    Cool Hand Luke:  The ultimate guy movie.  The ultimate prison movie.  The ultimate fight-the-system movie.  And the ultimate Paul Newman movie.  This is one of my all-time favourites, I watch it at least once every six months.  There has never been a better tough-guy movie made, and I include all of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood’s oeuvre in that sentence.  This is Newman’s best film, his best performance, and Luke Jackson is one of the top five characters ever created by anyone, in any movie, ever.  If you want to remember Paul Newman, watch this movie today.  And then once every six months for the rest of your life.

Hollywood has lost one of it’s great icons, one of it’s genuinely good people, and one of the greatest method actors who ever lived.  RIP, Paul Newman.

Year:  2007
Genre:  TV series, Cop, Drama
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Gary Sinese, Melina Kanakaredes, Carmine Giovinazzo, Anna Belknap, Hill Harper, Robert Joy, AJ Buckley, Eddie Cahill
Guest stars:  Dylan Bruce, Bruce Dern, Julie Adams, Chris Todd, Elias Koteas
Creator:  Anthony E. Zuiker
Run time:  14 hours 45 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films
DVD extras:  Art Imitates Second Life, Dante’s Infernal Episode, Art Attack, Cutting To the Core: Season 4 in the Big Apple, and audio commentary on episode 405 “Down The Rabbit Hole”
Related reviews:  CSI New York Season Five, CSI: Miami Season Seven, CSI: Miami Season Six, CSI Season Nine, CSI Season Eight

     Alliance Films is releasing CSI: New York, season four, on September 23rd. And I actually believe that New York has evolved into the best of the CSI family. William Petersen as Gil Grissom on the Vegas version is vaguely creepy as the super smart father figure to the CSI team. David Caruso as Horatio Caine on the Miami version is fully creepy and completely ridiculous as the Jesus figure to the CSI team. Which means that Gary Sinese on CSI: New York, playing just a regular guy, is exactly what the whole CSI franchise needs.

     The rest of the cast on CSI: New York is terrific as well. This is the best cast assembled for a CSI series, and the episodes are better as a result. Really, the plot and the writing of each CSI series is interchangeable with the other series, and so the cast really does make all the difference. Also, New York is just a more interesting city than Las Vegas, where most deaths are gambling related. And it is also more interesting than Miami, where most deaths are bikini related. Season Four is once again terrific, with guest stars like Bruce Dern and Dylan Bruce rounding out the excellent cast. Well worth picking up.

Year:  2007
Genre:  TV series, drama, cop
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  David Caruso, Adam Rodriguez, Jonathan Togo, Rex Linn, Evan Ellingson
Eye candy:  Emily Proctor, Eva LaRue, Sofia Milos, Elizabeth Berkley, tons of bikini girls
Creators:  Anthony E. Zuiker, Carol Mendelsohn, Ann Donahue
Producer:  Jerry Bruckheimer
Run time:  17 hours 22 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films

     Alliance Films is releasing season six of CSI: Miami today, September 16th. There have been six seasons of this show, and all of them have been hilarious. Watching them on DVD is even funnier, because you don’t have all those commercials to dull your senses before the show begins again. And that really calls attention to the fact that this show can’t cut to a commercial without a deep, tough-guy line and a musical sting. When it comes back from commercial, there is a musical sting there as well. And often, another insightful, bad-ass line. Computers can’t analyze DNA or other evidence without a quick sting, a jump cut or two or five, and a flashy series of camera shots. This is just like the first version of CSI, only this time the priorities are flipped. The Vegas version is about crimes that happen to be investigated by hot people, whereas the Miami version is about hot people who just happen to investigate crimes. Usually crimes committed by hot people against other hot people. Which means more hot-chick montages.

     Which means more style, less substance, and way more bikinis. I could write an episode of CSI: Miami in about eight minutes. Hot girl gets killed, all signs point to boyfriend with six-pack abs. David Caruso says something intense. Montage of bikinis and babes on the beach. The boyfriend is cleared, and now the signals appear to point in the direction of a secret cult of lesbian strippers who hold oil-wrestling parties. Caruso investigates. Lesbian strippers say sexy things to him, he delivers an intense line. Musical sting. A young child has witnessed something, but no one can get him to talk. But he’ll talk to Caruso, because he believes the man is Jesus. Caruso gets into a dustup with bad guys outside oil wrestling venue. He offers the bad guys a choice. Either throw down your guns or die. (Only more intense.) They choose not to throw down their guns, and he shoots them all. He officially changes his name to Big Daddy Kane. Musical montage of bikini chicks, hummers and guys with barbed-wire bicep tattoos. Caruso finds out the victim was his long-lost daughter. He shows no emotion. He discovers that the killer is in fact a hot chick in lingerie. He confronts her. She attempts to seduce him but he’s too cool. He shows no emotion. Guitar sting. Then there is a final shootout where a bunch of bad guys die, but the bad chick is merely knocked unconscious by a falling anvil. She is arrested. There is a musical montage of Caruso looking wistful in slow-motion as bikini-clad babes play on the beach and Ferraris zoom by.

     This is essentially the plot of every episode in Season Six. Except that sometimes, instead of lesbian strippers, it’s hot swimmers in bathing suits or gorgeous lingerie models. And instead of the young child witness, sometimes it’s a deaf girl or a mentally handicapped man. Either way, they will talk only to Horatio. And in Season Six, instead of his long-lost daughter, we meet Caruso’s long-lost son. Either way, he shows no emotion. In fact, he remains extremely stony-faced while talking to this boy throughout the season, but of course the kid will come to love him anyway. Imagine you found your father, a man you never knew existed, after twenty years. And he was a stone gargoyle in shades. How long would it take you to warm up to him? An eternity? Ah, but not if he’s David Caruso…now, it’s all well and good to read my little plot synopsis up there, but if you want to actually SEE all those babes in bikinis and fancy fast cars, you’ll have to pick up Season Six of CSI: Miami on DVD tomorrow.

I had to watch Paramount Home Entertainment’s My Little Pony: World’s Biggest Tea Party Live, that comes out tomorrow, September 16th. I didn’t have to watch it because I have young girls at home, or because my girlfriend has some kind of holdover love of My Little Pony from her childhood. No, I had to watch it because I could not believe this would exist. This is one of the most inexplicable DVDs I have ever come across. It is exactly how it sounds – a My Little Pony show, about the world’s biggest tea party, and it is done – live. It’s a stage production of a bunch of people dressed up in giant stuffed My Little Pony costumes dancing around the stage singing irritating songs about friendship and dressing up and sewing and hosting a tea party. And it was filmed. And put on DVD. I thought it might appeal to really girly stoners…and maybe it would.

But as I watched, I thought – where’s Focus On The Family on this one? Where’s the righteous indignation from James Dobson and his ilk at this movie that is so obviously designed to turn children gay? The cameras constantly pan to the audience to show little kids, girls and boys, waving sparklers and singing along to songs about wearing pink clothes! The songs are all about sewing, and baking, and…pink! The whole thing is hosted by a giant purple dinosaur. (Not Barney.) Focus On The Family was able to point out the gay Teletubbie because he was purple. I think they’re going to want to see this one. In fact, at one point, the purple thing and some ladybugs are singing about getting dressed up for the tea party, and he suggests that they all get pretty new dresses. But then he catches himself, and says that perhaps only the ladies should buy dresses.

Well, Focus On The Family is a weirdo organization, and I’m not going to send them a copy of this DVD. They need no help being bonkers. And watching My Little Pony’s World’s Biggest Tea Party Live will not turn your kids gay. It may make them sing, which will be irritating, and it may make them dance, which could be cute. And it will definitely drive you, the parents, nuts. But that’s about it. It’s harmless, but annoying.

 Year:  2008
Genre:  TV series, drama, supernatural
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Patricia Arquette, Jake Weber, Miguel Sandoval, Sofia Vassilieva, Maria Lark, Madison Carabello, Miranda Carabello, David Cubitt, Tina DiJoseph, Holliston Coleman, Bruce Gray, Kurtwood Smith
Guest stars:  Steven Culp, Anjelica Huston, David Arquette, Grant Shaud, Kathy Baker, Sarah Drew, Kelly Preston, Rosanna Arquette
Creator:  Glenn Gordon Caron
Run time:  13 hours, 29 minutes
DVD distributor:  Paramount Home Entertainment

     Paramount Home Entertainment releases the fourth season of Medium on DVD today, September 9th. There are many shows right now that explore some kind of mystical, supernatural ability, and this one is the best of them all. Unlike, for example, The Ghost Whisperer, which was released last week, Medium has a considerable amount of substance. Patricia Arquette plays the title character, a psychic who dreams about murder. And not the way I dream about murder, where I wake up and wonder whether or not I did, in fact, kill Steven Seagal during the night. But rather, she dreams about real murders that actually happened. Of course, she never sees the entire murder happen at first, or the show would be very short. As she continues to dream, more and more of the murder becomes clear, until at the end of the show she can put it all together and catch the criminal.

     Season four opens with Arquette having lost her job with the office of the district attorney. At the end of the previous season, the DA was forced to resign when it was revealed that he had been using this psychic to help him solve cases. I guess the public wasn’t willing to buy in. Not enough of them watch shows like Medium. Her husband has also lost his job, which means that money is tight and times are tough. An opportunity arises in the form of Anjelica Huston, who is an investigator working with AmeriTips, an organization that helps people resolve crimes on their own, rather than having to resort to the silly police. Huston recruits Arquette to work with her, which means that at least a little bit of money is coming into the house. And while each episode of Medium stands alone, and has a satisfying resolution, Huston herself has a story arc throughout season four that boils down to a very intense conclusion.

     Medium has been a good show for a while, but the addition of one of the great actresses in the world for the fourth season, and the story she brings with her, make season four the best of them all. Pick it up on DVD now.

     Alliance Films came out with the Blade trilogy on August 26th.  It’s a two-disc edition, with two of the movies on one disc and one on the other.  There are no terrific special features, it’s just a plain, bargain set of the three Blade films in a package that is conveniently the same size as every other DVD in your collection.  And if you don’t have these films already, this is one you should add to your collection.  Here’s why:

Blade (8/10): 

Year:  1998
Genre:  Action, Comic book
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Stephen Dorff, Udo Kier, Donal Logue
Eye candy:  N’Bushe Wright, Traci Lords, Sanaa Lathan
Director:  Steve Norrington
Run time:  121 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films

     The original Blade movie was terrific, a real breath of fresh air in the world of comic book movies.  Wesley Snipes was big, muscular, bad-ass and mean.  Kris Kristofferson was amazing as Whistler, Blade’s mentor.  And Stephen Dorff was terrific as the bad guy, a vampire who wanted to trigger the Blood Tide – an event that would, I think, turn everyone in the world into a vampire.  Or something.  The point is, this movie was awesome.  Sword fighting, guns, vampires disintegrating and great special effects, and Snipes as the most ass-kicking, toughest, meanest comic book character of all time.  There was even some good comedy – mostly provided by Donal Logue, who kept getting his arm chopped off.  And for the really cult comic book fans – some appearances by Traci Lords and Udo Kier.  Terrific!

Blade II (10/10): 

Year:  2002
Genre:  Action, Comic book
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Ron Perlman, Norman Reedus, Luke Goss, Thomas Kretschmann, Donnie Yen
Eye candy:  Leonor Varela, Sanaa Lathan
Director:  Guillermo Del Toro
Run time:  116 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films

     By far, the best of the series.  Directed by Guillermo Del Toro (Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth), this film is as pulse-pounding and visually impressive as any comic book adaptation could aspire to be.  (Well, until 2008 when The Dark Knight came along.)  Snipes is now even more bad-ass, and he is given some awfully cool villains with which to work.  Luke Goss appears as Nomak, a new breed of vampire that preys on both humans AND vampires.  So now the vampires want a truce with Blade, because they are after the same enemy for once.  And Blade hooks up with the Blood Pack, a cheesily-named group of vampire bad-asses who have been training their whole lives to kill Blade, but now must work with him.  Ron Perlman, as the tough-guy leader of the Blood Pack, is amazing.  And even the secondary characters are cool actors – Norman Reedus as a stoner hippie helping Blade and Whistler, and Asian action movie legend Donnie Yen even shows up as a kung-fu fighting member of the Blood Pack.  And the vampire princess, played by Leonor Varela, is one of the hottest women ever in a movie.  Visually stunning, never-ending action, and some seriously bad-ass characters and actors made this movie not just a guilty pleasure, but the best in the trilogy.

Blade: Trinity (3/10): 

Year:  2004
Genre:  Action, Comic book
Country:  United States
Language:  English
Starring:  Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Ryan Reynolds, Triple H, Patton Oswalt, Dominic Purcell, Callum Keith Rennie, John Michael Higgins, Eric Bogosian
Eye candy:  Jessica Biel, Parker Posey, Natasha Lyonne
Director:  David S. Goyer
Run time:  114 minutes
DVD distributor:  Alliance Films

     One of the biggest letdowns I have ever had at a movie.  Del Toro is gone as director, replaced by David S. Goyer.  Kristofferson is gone early in the film, replaced by Ryan Reynolds and Jessica Biel.  And I really like Ryan Reynolds – he even has some solid comedic scenes in this film.  But an action star?  Jessica Biel an action star?  I know she really wants to be, and she keeps trying and trying to be one, but she isn’t an action star.  Or a great actress.  She’s hot.  That’s about it.  I mean, stick to movies where you are hot.  Those, you can do.  Blade II had Ron Perlman and Donnie Yen.  Blade Trinity can only suffer by comparison.  But it isn’t just Reynolds and Biel that are the problem.  Snipes is the only genuine action star in the movie, but he is given just about nothing to do.  The script is dreadful, the concept just doesn’t work, and there are some really long, extended scenes that make absolutely no sense.  The other Blade films were genuinely dark, tough, gritty entries that could, on some level, be considered horror films.  This one is an absolute joke.  Not only that, Blade is now the co-star.  In his own film.  Because Biel and Reynolds are the real action stars.  Come on!  This one is total garbage.

      The two-disc Blade trilogy came out August 26th from Alliance Films.  Pick it up!  And ignore that third one.