Reasons You’re About To Be Fired.

You’re in charge of keeping Charlie Sheen sober

Five years into the job, you still can’t come up with a better ice-breaker at meetings than “Can I groom you for lice?”

There’s a toddler in Malaysia who can do your job cheaper AND without whining about the black lung.

You just moved in with two hookers and started calling yourself a warlock.

Nobody in the break room laughed when you debuted “Winky, the one eyed crotch hamster.”