Can only hear notes in “C”…Hepatitis C.

Can unhinge his lower jaw and swallow his entire face.

He was the inspiration for those giant, inflatable string bean men you see in front of car dealerships.

His Idol contract demands that his Coke glass be filled with that other kind of coke.

He is often mistaken for Mick Jagger. More often though he is mistaken for a moray eel.

They are the least popular topping at Dairy Queen.

When you’re not around they jump up and down on your mattress.

They weigh more than Nicole Richie.

20% of them beleive Obama is Muslim.

They’re unsure about that date you dragged home the other night too.

They’ve sucked more men dry than Heather Mills.

Go ahead and sleep tight, they’re still going to bite your ass.