Archive for June, 2010
Thursday, June 24th, 2010 – Earthquake? What Earthquake?, Gimme A Toy Story Break, & No More Heartache
Thursday, June 24th, 2010
Natural Disasters I have avoided in my lifetime;
Tornado…check!
Tsunami…check!
Earthquake…che..wait a minute! Didn’t I feel one yesterday?
Not really, just an aftershock from a 5.0-5.5 quake in the Ottawa Valley.
It’s funny because while my friends and family in Ottawa were pretty quiet about the event, folks in Toronto were once again afraid the world was about to end!
Just received word there’s a fire in Sudbury, has the TO fire department been called yet?
Is there something in the water in Toronto?
Some panic inducing drug of some kind?
Remember that blizzard a few years back and the Armed Forces were called in? Good thing they weren’t in Newfoundland or else they’d have a half filled ark on the shores of Cape Spear!
Believe it or not, what we felt yesterday was a good thing.
A number of years ago a friend was in California and took a desert jeep tour. Standing on the San Andres Fault, a guide told him on average they had 300 ‘quakes’ a day but you didn’t feel them. He also said you want those ‘quakes’….too few and the plate pressure grows until kaboom!
In Canada, we average 3-4 quakes a day. Most, though, are too insignificant to be felt without sophisticated equipment.
So I’m not losing any sleep wondering if the world is going to end, wish I could say the same for Toronto.
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You may recall I was on the hunt for copies of Toy Story 1 and 2.
None of the video stores had one, and the department stores had long since upped the price in celebration of Toy Story 3.
Well, after asking everyone I know including every member of the KIX 106 staff if they had a copy, I had access to a ton of copies….on VHS!
Problem was, I had no idea where my VCR was.
I soon realized that if I was going to subject my children to the joy that is Toy Story, I would have to break down…..GULP….and get the DVD’s.
I bit the bullet, and got the DVD’s.
I couldn’t wait to see what my girls would say when they found out what Super Dad had done.
The school bell rang and out came my daughters who were already excited!?!?!
It seems yesterday was movie day at the school.
What did they see?
Toy Story 2.
!@#$!
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Shania is off the market!
Just found out this morning that Shania Twain is going to marry her boyfriend Swiss business executive Frederic Thiebaud this summer in Canada.
Maybe Ontario! Maybe Timmins!
We’ll have to wait and see.
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010 – No Pat This Year, No Love on The Bachelor, & What’s Wrong Here?
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
Well the good news is that Eric Lindros has not received an invite to the Hockey Hall of Fame!
The bad news is Pat Burns didn’t get one either.
Now for a moment, forget that Pat has terminal lung cancer, his accomplishments alone are enough for induction.
3 time winner of the Jack Adams Trophy for NHL Coach of the Year, a Stanley Cup ring in 2003, and one of the big reason Maple Leaf pride returned in the 90′s, exorcising the very demons Harold Ballard nourished the previous 2 decades.
God love him!
And yes, with his health in question, it would’ve been nice to induct him while he is still around.
I also thought it was cool to see the first women inducted, Cammi Granato & Angela James along with Dino Ciccarelli and his 608 goals.
Did I mention I’m glad Eric Lindros wasn’t inducted?
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Call me old fashioned, but I truly believe you can’t find love on a reality show!
That’s why I don’t waste my time watching ‘The Bachelor’ or ‘The Bachelorette’, because I don’t BELIEVE it.
Once again, I’m right!
Jake Pavelka and Vienna Girardi have called off their engagement for good.
Reports state that Girardi packed up her stuff — minus the $50,000 princess-cut diamond ring he gave her — and moved out of Pavelka’s house on Saturday.
You may recall hearts exploding everywhere during The Bachelor: On the Wings of Love finale last March, when Texas pilot Jake, 32, got down on one knee and proposed to 24-year-old ex-Hooters waitress Vienna— one of the most-loathed bachelorettes in the ABC matchmaking series’ history.
The couple battled criticism about their relationship long after the cameras stopped rolling, and insisted they were madly in love with each other.
Ha ha! Yeah, right!
For those of you who are keeping track, Pavelka and Girardi are the 14th couple who hooked up on the show to call it quits in, well, 14 seasons.
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Can anybody spot the one MAJOR flaw in this guy’s drivers license?
Two minutes in the box Jose, for being stupid!
Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010 – Searching For A Buzz, We Lost Because.., & Kenny Does What Kenny Does
Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
Wow, those Hollywood big wigs aren’t stupid.
I mean, some of their movie ideas leave something to be desired but they know how to rake in the dollars.
As you know, Toy Story 3 is in theatres and families are seeing it in droves.
I plan on taking my kids this weekend but before I do that, they have to see Toy Story 1 and 2 first.
That’s right, my kids have never seen Toy STory.
You see, when our first child was born we didn’t know if it was going to be a girl or a boy. I made a decision that if it was a girl, her first movie was going to be Snow White, if it was a boy, Toy Story.
When Allannah was born, Snow White was added to our collection.
After daughter #2 came into the world, we kind of fell into that Disney Princess/Barbie movie trap and Buzz Lightyear fell into that ‘only boys like that’ category.
All that has changed now, so I went out to rent both TS 1 and 2.
3 video stores, all out!!!
Oh well, maybe I should purchase one!
I swear just a few months ago I saw a copy of Toy Story on sale at Wal Mart for $9.99, so off I went.
Too late!
Toy Story 1 and 2 have now been ‘repackaged’ and now sell for $23.99…..each!
What do I do?
I’m not spending over $50 (which my wife says would have to come out of my beer budget) on 2 movies that my daughters aren’t begging me to get.
I turn to the faithfull KIX 106 staff, and send an a mass e-mail explaining my plight.
The good news? I have 4 copies of Toy Story available to borrow and 2 copies of Toy Story 2!
The bad news? I have to find my VCR!
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In the aftermath of England’s sub-par performance against Algeria on Friday night, many blamed Fabio Capello’s rigid and constraining tactics. Others blamed Steven Gerrard’s inability to complete a pass. The truth, however, is much simpler. In the second half of the match, the TV cameras focused on a pigeon that perched on the Algeria goal as England prepared to take a corner. The sinister-looking bird (pictured above) wasn’t just there admiring theaction. Oh no, he was sent to deliver a curse! By a witchdoctor!
The Sun diligently report that African medicine men often send birds to deliver curses, and they’ve found a Shaman willing to deliver his professional opinion on the malevolent feathered creature in question:
Shaman Olga Mokwena, 59, said: “It could be someone supporting Algeria has visited a witchdoctor to put a spell on England.
“I am following the World Cup very well and saw the pigeon. That bird was there at night when the birds are supposed to be sleeping. And that one was not sleeping.”That told me it was protecting the Algeria goal. It was guarding it.”
Then Spanish fans blamed a pretty sideline reporter for their teams loss to the Swiss! They claimed the girl, who was the girlfriend of Spain’s goalkeeper, was a distraction!
And I don’t have to remind you of England’s claim that their goalie’s breakup with a Toronto lingere model was the reason for their 1 all draw against the U.S. do I?
Meanwhile what bird is causing World Cup players to do this;
http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-CA&vid=3a3b4b01-05b3-45b1-8c1c-be299ddd43d0
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Kenny Chesney isn’t sitting on his butt doing nothing during his self imposed year-long hiatus from touring.
Kenny has announced that his next studio album, titled ‘Hemingway’s Whiskey,’ is due in stores on Sept. 28. The islands-inspired ‘Lucky Old Sun’ was released in 2008, while his last true studio release was 2007′s ‘Just Who I Am: Poets and Pirates.’
Taking his time to record the new album and focus on other recent projects, including the big-screen concert film, ‘Kenny Chesney: Summer in 3D,’ and the football documentary ‘Boys of Fall‘ rather than mounting a stadium tour this year, Kenny says the new album sets the stage for the next phase of his music.
“I knew I wanted the record to be something more, something that took what I do in my special projects and weaved it into what I do for the mainstream.”
Bottom line, new album, means new tour in 2011!
Monday, June 21st, 2010 (Hello Summer) – No Eric Please, Would Justin Have These?, & Hand Over The Keys!
Monday, June 21st, 2010
No, no, no a million times no!!!!!
Does Eric Lindros deserve to be elected to the Hockey Hall of Fame in his first year of eligibility?
I swear to God, I will NEVER set foot in the Hall again if his face is placed on a plaque surrounded by Orr, Lafleur, Gretzky & Sittler.
How many Cups did he win? None.
How many MVP’s trophys? 1.
But beyond that, what he did during the OHL AND NHL drafts should be more than enough reason to keep this spoiled brat from being enshrined.
In June, 1989, the Soo Greyhounds drafted him, and his family shot that down forcing a trade. How dare he? You have NO right to pick and choose, not when hundreds of other kids that year would’ve given ANYTHING to hear their name called!
Two summers later, he freakin’ did it again when Lindros refused to sign with the NHL’s Quebec Nordiques, citing distance, lack of marketing potential, and having to speak French. Eventually he got traded to Philadelphia.
What’s great about that, is the Nordiques would become the Avalanche and win a Stanley Cup.
The Flyers won squat with Lindros in their lineup.
The bottom line is, he has done nothing benifical to the game, but he sure as heck done enough to damage it.
Vote ‘No’ for Eric Lindros!
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Police showed up at a bar in Ocean City, Maryland, recently seeing 16-year-old Canadian pop singer Justin Bieber drinking a beer!!!!
Shannon Westlund, owner of the Mug and Mallet, said she panicked when police told her they believed there was an underage boy drinking at the bar. But then when the officers pointed the boy in question, she started to laugh.
The police officers asked Westlund if there was something funny about serving a minor. She said no and tried to explain but they didn’t believe her and asked Justin for identification.
It turns out, Justin was a 27 year old female named Katie!
“The cops’ faces got really red,” Westlund said, adding Katie wasn’t upset about it. “She has a really good sense of humour.”
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I guess people really are ‘that stupid’!
Thursday June 17th, 2010 – She’s Not Too Bright, A Nude Betty White, & Blake Makes My Night
Thursday, June 17th, 2010
Recognize this person?
Probably not! Keep reading, you’ll see what I mean.
She’s the married woman who was caught having an affair after Rogers Wireless sent a copy of her bill to her husband and is now suing the company for $600,000.
Just to refresh your memory, in 2006, Gabriela Nagy took a contract for a business phone in her maiden name.
In 2007, her husband added the Internet to his cable plan and Rogers sent him all the bills including Nagy’s bill which had hours and hours of calls to one number.
He called and found out about his wife’s infidelity and left her.
Gabriela held a press conference yesterday saying,”Yes we do immoral things and I’m not excusing my actions. I am extremely remorseful and can’t explain the damage I have done to my family. It is something I will never be able to out live and I can’t take back time.
“But because of my indiscretion, I stumbled on this major leak in privacy. Just because you are married doesn’t mean you don’t have a right to privacy.”
Give me a break!
The best part is, she said all this while wearing a wig and large sunglasses.
What is she more ashamed of? Getting caught, or being stupid?
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There’s no denying Betty White is hot right now, but is there anybody that REALLY wants to see nude pictures of her?
The racy photos in question are said to have been found in a box in Betty’s old house and would have to be at least three decades old.
This isn’t the first time the actress has been involved in a nude photo scandal. In 1940 Betty posed for nudie-cutie playing cards, wearing only earmuffs. See below for a family friendly version;
Here’s the deal folks, Betty is the last surviving Golden Girl and this is not what Betty should be remembered for. I know she wouldn’t mind the pic above being seen, but if there are others, what’s on them is none of our business.
May the scumbags shopping the pictures around Hollywood get hit by a falling safe soon!
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Want to know why PETA and Blake Shelton don’t like each other?
A member ‘tweeted’ on PETA’s Twitter account yesterday; My parents changed their minds about sticky traps, tomorrow we r buying humane mouse traps.”
Blake’s response?
Awesome!!! Now you can burn them alive!
He’s only joking folks, or is he?
Wednesday June 16th, 2010 – The Vuvuzela Threat, A Scammer’s Regret, & Seen The New Aud Yet?
Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
So am I the only one who can’t watch the World Cup?
It has nothing to do with the sport of soccer, but everything with those irritating meter long horns call vuvuzelas that are constantly being blown for 2 hours straight, by over 70,000 fans!
Go ahead, check out any World Cup match, and listen. That humming sound is not a swarm of locusts!
So how loud is it in South Africa?
The researchers said the average sound exposure during the near two hours was 100.5 decibels and peaked at 144.2 decibels. National standards for occupational noise require hearing protection for workers exposed to 85 decibels and above.ambulance siren or airplane taking off: 120 dB
Hearing loss can occur after 15 minutes at 100 dB.
Oh, to be a hearing aid salesmen!
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File this under ‘D’oh!’
It had all the makings of a perfect crime. The culprits hid their valuables, from jewelry to electronics, smashed windows and even made faux bad-guy footprints before calling police. Const. Charanjit Meharu was among those to arrive at the break-and-enter scene. Jewellery, electronics gone. Glass from a smasked window on the floor.
The victim was hysterical, saying she had lost everything and had a list of what was missing for cops.
Then she answered her phone and took a call from her father in Quebec telling him what happened in French.
What she didn’t realize, was that Const. Charanjit Meharu was fluent in many languages, including French.
“She was telling him she and her boyfriend made up the story to make an insurance claim,” Meharu says.
“By the end, I had about 10 pages of notes and I said, ‘Merci beaucoup.’
That woman was charged with mischief.
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You may have heard Jenn and I talking about the proposed new stadium to replace the aging Aud.
After watching this video, you’ll see expansion is the way to go;
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid49911619001?bctid=96363503001
How cool was that?
We get a modern facility while keeping the historic arena where Bobby Orr, Wayne Gretzky, & a host of other NHL Hall of Famers skated!
I LOVE this!
Monday, June 14th, 2010 – My Saucy Kid, Forgot What She Did, & Dabbing The Eyelids
Monday, June 14th, 2010
‘Marsha Marsha Marsha’
I found myself thinking of Marsha Brady last week.
You see, my little girl, my baby, got a little sharp tongued with me which resulted in a serious grounding.
She was being moody and I told her, ‘Do you want a smack young lady?’
To which she replied, ‘You smack me and I’ll smack you back!’
Instant flashback!!!!!!
I was maybe 6 years old, and I remember watching an episode of the Brady Bunch where Marsha was upset, crying, and saying ‘I hate you!’
Well it just so happened, that one day my 6 year old self was upset and crying while my Mom was on the phone.
What would Marsha do in a situation like this?
Well, it worked for Marsha, so I told my Mom ‘I hate you!’
All I remember is Mom saying ‘Hold on a second Marilyn!’, and everything after that is an absolute blur!
To this day, I can’t even jokingly say ‘I hate you’ to my Mom for fear of the reprecussions that followed before.
So as I snap back to reality, and look down at MY 6 year old who just threatened to ‘smack me back’, I realize I want her to remember EVERYTHING that was about to happen.
A week of no TV, no pool, no bike, and confined to the 4 walls of her bedroom.
I think she would’ve rathered an ‘old school’ punishment.
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This beauty queen contestant dumped by Miss Universe Canada says she “made a mistake” when she didn’t tell pageant organizers about filming an ad for an infidelity website.
Sophie Froment, 21, said that it’s “not fair” organizers asked her to quit and then threw her out of the competition on Saturday.
It turns out Sophie filmed a steamy ad for AshleyMadison.com – a website that encourages people “life is short, have an affair.”
In one of the versions of her ad, Froment strips naked and romps around in bed with a man. Because contestants sign a form saying they’ve never appeared nude, that ad was enough for Miss Universe Canada to give her the boot.
Sophie said the naughtier version of the ad was shot for Playboy TV but it was never used and she simply forgot about it.
“I don’t think it is fair at all,” she said. “They make us go on a stage wearing bikinis and that’s OK to them.”
First of all, there’s a BIG difference between ‘nude’ and wearing a bikini.
And second, in her defence, haven’t we all rolled around naked on a bed while being video taped and forgot about it?
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OK, seriously. I’m not a ‘cryer’!
I get choked up, maybe the lump in the ol’ throat, but to see tears in my eyes doesn’t happen often.
They were there after watching this…..
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010 – Coffee For A Cause, Move Over Jaws, & There Should Be Prom Laws
Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010
Happy Tim Horton’s Camp Day!
Thanks to all who purchased a coffee today knowing that all proceeds helped send kids to camp.
My brother-in-law went to one when he was a kid and will still tell you to this day, that it was one of the best summers of his life.
Alot of us take summers for granted.
Imagine being a kid and going back to school and having everyone in your class talking about what they did during summer vacation.
Imagine being the only one who really didn’t do anything!
That’s not fair, and everyone needs a ‘story’ of their own in September.
Tim Horton’s provides this opportunity at their 6 camps in Ontario, Quebec, Nova Scotia, Alberta, and Kentucky.
This year, more than 14,000 kids will be going to camp thanks to your coffee purchase.
Drink up, the day’s not over yet.
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Look at this thing…..
If you’re thinking we’re lucky to live in Canada where we don’t have these things swimming in our lakes, you’re right…….for now!
Meet the savage, voracious, quick-tempered, razor-mouthed northern snakehead fish.
It’s known to eat small animals, attack humans, and can survive four days out of water, thanks to a primitive lung above its gills.
Oh, and it can walk up to half a kilometer on land and it’s getting closer to Canada!
Hello Stephen King!!!!!
Officials are trying to contain an outbreak in a few ponds and streams in mid-New York State. Poison and electrocution have been hit and miss.
Northern snakefish invaded the Potomac River near Washington, D.C., while George W. Bush was president.
Aquarium fanciers and live-fish markets are the usual suspects.
An 18-inch snakehead was pulled from a Chicago harbour five years ago — but it’s believed to have been a one-off.
They say this fish has reached maximum lengths in Asia of 1.8 metres (5-foot-10!), though most adults top out at a metre, and it has survived being frozen, clubbed or shipped without water from China.
If you find one, kill it and make sure it’s dead…..please!!!!!
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This can’t be a REAL prom dress can it?
Yeah, like I’d let my daughter wear this accompanied by a hormone ragin’ teenage boy!
Tuesday, June 1st, 2010 – What’s In My Trash, Desperate For Cash, & This Story Kicks……Butt!
Tuesday, June 1st, 2010
Garbage day!
Everybody has one, ours is Tuesday.
So, every Monday night I gather the trash and the recyclables and bring them to the curb so nobody is rushing around and chasing the garbage truck down the street the next morning.
I get up this morning and as I’m getting into my car, I hear something rummaging around in my trash!
Dog? No.
Cat? Not quite!
Raccoon? You would think!
Would you believe, I found a rabbit dining on table scraps?
Yeah, really! A rabbit!!!!
This rabbit head poked up from the mountain of trash and eyed me as a threat to his buffet.
I just waved my arm, told him to get lost and he scampered away.
Where’s a coyote when you need one?
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Remember when your parents would be ragging you out for getting in trouble with your friends?
9 times out of 10, your Mom would say ‘If your friends jumped off a cliff, would you do it to?’
Of course not, that would be stupid! Right?
A Utah woman is suing Google after Google Maps on her BlackBerry allegedly gave her walking directions that led her to a highway where she was struck by a car.
Lauren Rosenberg of Park City is suing the web giant for $100,000 because she claims she was led onto a rural highway with no sidewalks. She’s also suing the driver.
Are you serious?
Did this woman not notice the lack of sidewalks?
Maybe she should’ve selected a different route, oh wait, that’s what a SMART person does.
The morons of the world blame others for their stupidity!
If it doesn’t look safe, don’t walk it!
D’uh! Oh yeah, and that coffee is probably hot too!
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I can’t stand it when an athlete feels they’re bigger than everyone else!
With all the egos, and over paid whiners in many of our major sport leagues, it’s good to see somebody like Chad Johnson, aka Chad Ochocinco, check his attitude at the door when it counts.
Never thought I’d say this but, can’t we all be a little more like Chad Johnson? I mean Chad Ochocinco!