http://www.kix106online.com

Right off the top I want to say, I have nothing against anyone over 65! My parents are over 65, and my mother in law is like, 114! (I kid, I kid!)

When is somebody going to step up and get seniors retested to ensure they are safe to be behind the wheel?

Two people were taken to hospital with injuries after a chain-reaction crash yesterday near Dorchester closed the east lanes of the nation’s busiest highway during morning rush hour.

Police say a car reversed at high speed out of the Ministry of Transportation inspection station along the Hwy. 401, just west of Putnam Rd., into the path of a tractor-trailer truck hauling a load of new cars.

The car went out of control and slammed into a concrete median.

The truck swerved to get out of the way and hit another car and a van.

The driver of the car, described as an elderly man, was transported by air ambulance to London Health Sciences Centre.

This guy was 78 years old and was charged with careless driving. He obviously put his foot on the wrong pedal and panicked.

Thankfully, nobody was killed but this WILL happen again.

It’s not about pride, it’s about protecting all those other people driving on the highway, guys like me with kids in the backseat.

When I turn 65, 70, 75, and 80 there’s no way I would want to be responsible for killing someone, so if that means taking away my license, done! 

Bottom line, as an elderly driver you don’t have the right to say you’re safe to drive when you’re not. Keeping it between the lines is one thing, being able to react quickly behind the wheel is another.

As long as my family is on the road, I believe in mandatory retesting at NO COST to the elderly driver.

Keep it safe!

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There has to be a rule against this! 

We’re hearing of a Russian plan to ’steal’ some of our young curlers and try to buy an Olympic medal at the 2014 Winter Olympics.

I can’t blame our athletes who may be enticed to go.

Rumour has it, Winnipegger Jason Gunnlaugson, 25, and two of his teammates, Justin Richter and Tyler Forrest, are to earn $100,000 US each per year, plus expenses, throwing rocks with two Russian players, under the Russian flag, for the next four years.

The plan is to have the boys spend the bare minimum of time living in Moscow each year — two months does it, apparently — in order to become Russian citizens and obtain passports.

That’s alot of money, and I don’t see Canada signing any cheques, but there is the question of pride.

Could these guys actually feel proud about winning a medal for Russia?

I couldn’t, no matter how much is sitting in my bank account!

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Aw come ON!!!

The SPCA in St John’s Newfoundland is asking drivers to think before travelling with pets!

This, after police pulled a driver over and found his dog in HIS TRUNK!!!!

Why not the backseat?

His luggage was taking up all the space!

Don’t use your mouth to write cheques that your mouth can’t cash!

That’s a lesson I learned the hard way as the ‘Darkside’ aka the Montreal Canadians finished upsetting the #1 seed Washington Capitals last night!

Playoff poolies screamed in unison at the TV last night as Alexander Ovechkin did diddly squat, but not for lack of trying!

As for me, I boasted at the beginning of the playoffs that the Habs would win as many games as my Maple Leafs in the postseason this year!

I said Halak couldn’t have back-to-back great games!

I said it’s destiny for the Caps to win!

Well, the Canadians are off to the second round, and I am getting it throw in my face big time!

When I came into work this morning, I saw my Maple Leaf shrine was vandalized!!!!

Mark my words, my day will come!

And if you think for a second that I have learned ANYTHING from this experience, guess again!

Pittsburgh in 6!

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OK so I learned a lesson today, much like the hare did when the tortise beat him in that race famous race.

I get off the bus today ($8.50 a day to park? I don’t think so!), and right away I’m behind an older lady pulling a little shopping cart behind her.

Slow? Yeah, she was!

I picked up my pace, and walked past her only to have her catch up to me at the traffic light!

When that light turned green, she ate my dust again!

I stopped for a coffee, and while in line, I see her outside walking past me….again!

Grabbed my grub, and took off because a part of me was a little bit offended by the fact that I was ‘losing’!

I had her in my sights, and expected to catch up at the next light, but by the time I got there, it changed to red, and I stood there watching her walk by my workplace.

She won!

Just like the tortise and the hare, slow and steady won the race.

Aesop would’ve been proud!

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Take a look at the ‘cool’ guy!

This coward was one of two men who mugged a 79-year-old man on the subway at Chester station during the weekend — but TTC surveillance cameras caught them.

Obviously not enough of a man to try and steal from somebody his own size or age, or able to rob a senior citzen by himself!

What’s worse the elderly man cried out for help as he was being mugged but received no assistance from other commuters.

Are you serious?

Police said the incident began when a person seated next to the victim asked him for change. The senior said he didn’t have any and the person asked a second time.

A second person then asked him for money

The victim tried to activate the passenger-assistance alarm — a yellow strip above the seats — but could not reach it, police said, and a fight ensued.

Cowards, absolute cowards!

Toronto detectives are now asking for help in identifying the duo wanted for stealing a wallet from Yusuf Hizel this past Saturday evening.

Does he look familiar?

Anyone with information is asked to call police at 416-808-5400, or Crime Stoppers anonymously at 416-222-TIPS (8477), online at www.222tips.com, or text TOR and send a message to CRIMES (274637)

Where’s Charles Bronson when you need him?

OK, settle down class, take your seats and we’ll get started!

 Today’s subject is Physics, let’s say a 1200 kg vehicle is travelling at 50 km/h. 

500 meters away, a 14 year old is walking in the middle of the road at 4.8 km/h.

Now, when these two objects meet, who is going to get a call first,  the mechanic or the hospital?

Right, the hospital,  it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out.

Which makes me wonder why kids find it necessary to walk in the middle of the street, instead of using the sidewalks?

Last night, I’m driving home and a group of kids were walking in the middle of a residental street!

How stupid is that? I mean, is this the only way to seem ‘cool’?

Not every car is going to slow down and go around them, some are not going to see them until it’s too late.

These kids need to talk to the last group that wouldn’t move for me!

It was night time, and I had to run to the store and I was stunned to see a group of kids hanging out on the street, directly in my path.

I slowed down, and waited for them to move, which they eventually did.

I was freakin’!!!! I should’ve pulled a ‘Red Foreman’ and placed my boot…..well you get the idea.

Now as fate would have it, on my way BACK from the store, these guys were STILL there!

This time they were walking with their backs to me, still in the middle of the road.

I flicked off my lights, slowed down, and when I got about 10 feet away from, I LAYED ON THE HORN…and scared the crap out of them!

Some laughed, some cursed at me, I think I made one of them cry!

Bottom line was, I made hundreds of evening trips to the store after that.

And not once did I see them in the middle of the street again! 

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OK, so today China was stripped of a bronze medal from the 2000 Sydney Olympics fielding an underage gymnast, with the women’s team medal now going to the United States.

The International Olympic Committee acted after investigations by the sport’s governing body determined that Dong Fangxiao was only 14 at the 2000 Games. Gymnasts must turn 16 during the Olympic year to be eligible.

Now, according to reports, questions about Dong’s eligibility arose during the Federation of International Gymnastic’s investigation into the ages of China’s team that won the gold medal at the 2008 Beijing Games. Media reports and Internet records suggested some of the girls on that team could have been as young as 14.

FIG cleared the Beijing Games gymnasts in October 2008 after Chinese officials provided original passports, ID cards and family registers showing all of the gymnasts were old enough to compete. But the FIG said it wasn’t satisfied with “the explanations and evidence provided to date” for Dong and a second gymnast, Yang Yun.

Dong’s accreditation information for the Beijing Olympics, where she worked as a national technical official, listed her birthday as Jan. 23, 1986. That would have made her 14 in Sydney – too young to compete. Her birth date in the FIG database is listed as Jan. 20, 1983.

Dong’s blog also said she was born in the Year of the Ox in the Chinese zodiac, which dates from Feb. 20, 1985, to Feb. 8, 1986.

FIG investigators didn’t find sufficient evidence to prove Yang, who also won a bronze medal on uneven bars in 2000, was underage. She received a warning from FIG.

Why does she still have that medal when it has now been proven that she was underage?

And more importantly, how is it that it takes 10 years to figure out how old somebody is when she pretty much admitted it in her blog?

Are these people THAT stupid?

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If you’re failing Math, but pretty good around electronics, there’s a job waiting for you at Circuit City;

Roller coasters!

You either love them or hate them!

There’s no in-between, you are one who rides it or you are one who doesn’t. Nobody goes on one saying ‘I kinda like it!’

My first roller coaster experience took place at Fantasy Island, in Grand Island, New York.

I was around 6, and beyond psyched that I was going to go on a REAL roller coaster! Luckily, I was a tall kid so I easily met the minimum height requirement.

That line couldn’t move fast enough, but it wasn’t long before I was secured in my seat and the ‘click-click-click’ sound was heard to indicate the ride was underway!

After the slow climb to the top, I look forward to see the track had disappeared and that slow climb quickly changed to a heartstopping drop.

And it was at that exact time that I decided, I don’t want to be on this ride!

Because you see, while I was physically ready for my first roller coaster ride, I wasn’t prepared emotionally! I SCREAMED & CRIED the whole way through!

At one point I even tried to get out of the ride while it was still moving!

I can’t remember how long the ride was, but at the time it seemed like hours!

I finally got back on the ground and vowed never to ride a roller coaster again….until a few years ago.

You see, after over 30 years I felt I was over that traumatic ordeal, and planned a family vacation to a place where serious coaster demons go, Canada’s Wonderland!

I wanted to redeem myself, and make up for that slobbering mess that was me many years ago.

I wanted to ride on Top Gun, and I was going to ride halfway across the country to do it!

After 3 days of travelling, we ventured to CW to show the world that I, Bill Hart was truly a man!

We paid our admission, walked around, and saw Top Gun! Man it was huge, and I’ll admit, a little scary, but I didn’t travel all this way to chicken out!

Right?

So I thought!

It wasn’t long before a staff member approached me.

You see, when I was 6, I wasn’t emotionally ready for a roller coaster, now I was. But it didn’t matter what frame of mind I was in because I was just informed that I couldn’t go on!

It turns out, I travelled over 1700 km to learn that at 6’5, I was too tall to ride!

I hate roller coasters!

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Remember when Taylor Swift got those two Auburn University students to do all those stunts in order to get a hug from her?

http://vimeo.com/11247764

THAT….was pretty cool!

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OK, now I’m definitely buying a bag of Oreos this weekend!

Am I disappointed that the Kitchener Rangers lost game 7 to the Windsor Spitfires after jumping to 3-0 series lead?

Damn straight I am!

But I have to say, I’m proud of those guys!

I mean, some believed they wouldn’t get past Saginaw, even less expected them to beat London, and nobody expected the Rangers to take the Spits to 7 games!

These kids played their hearts out, and deserve as much praise as they would have received if they did beat Windsor!

Want to know what’s scary?

This Ranger team is going to be even BETTER next year!

You hear that Windsor?

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The Award for ‘Dumbest Movie Idea Goes To………’

Paul Gross, who’ll be onscreen this week in the Canadian-made Western Gunless, and actor-turned-director Peter Berg, has hired Gross as a writer on his next project — a $220-million action film based on the game Battleship.

That’s right. Battleship.

From what we hear, it will be the first of many ’board game to big screen’ projects as there’s talk to make movies out of the board games Clue, & Ouija.

“It’s one of those monster tentpole films,” says Gross, who inherited the Battleship plot (aliens descend and attack by sea) and had to flesh out the characters. “Of course they’d land on water, there’s so much of it,” Gross says, rolling his eyes. “There’s a certain suspension of disbelief you have to get past when you write this stuff.”

Cue the big voice…..“You sunk my battleship!”

You know what board game who make a great movie? Hungry Hungry Hippos!

Picture it, a fun day on safari takes a horrific turn as genetically altered hippos seek to satisfy their hunger at the expense of an unexpecting group of tourists!

Hell, this stuff writes itself!!!!

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Do NOT underestimate the power of Martina!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP8Ku_BCWds&feature=player_embedded

So, as we settle into our new house, I have a chance to really take a look at our new surroundings.

Made a new friend across the street who owns a hot tub, a tv bigger than mine and he, like me, cheers for the New England Patriots!

So far, so good.

A 24 hour Sobeys is a couple of stone throws away, and my neighbours seem to be pretty cool, even the tattooed guy with the hula hoop earrings! Hey, I’m not judging but threatening my kids that I’m going to get the guy next door to come over if they don’t eat their broccolli has been working wonderfully! 

Just kidding, I’m not doing that!

Having good neighbours is shoot and miss, and when you have them life is sweet, especially if you’re short a cup of milk, or can’t find your power drill.

Having bad ones will make your life miserable!

I remember when I was still in high school, a family moved next door and never took a shine to us because we weren’t up to their high military standards I guess.

They complained when the smoke from our BBQ blew into their yard.

They complained when our grass started growing on their side of the fence.

The kicker was when they called my mother at 2 in the morning, during a rainstorm, and asked her to do something about the loose gutter that was keeping their family awake (I wasn’t home at the time)!

To their credit, they DID offer their ladder for her to borrow to climb up there surrounded by howling winds and whipping rain!

Mom quickly laid down the law, and the feud was forever etched in stone.

I eventually moved on to my first radio job, and my sisters went of to get their own places and Mom got married again and settled into a new home in another community.

We never saw those neighbours again, but I like to believe that no matter where they are, they are smelling the smoke of their new neighbour’s BBQ!

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12-year-old Miriam Starobin and her best friend, Allyson Golden, were in music class Tuesday when Allyson began choking on her gum. Allyson turned red and started kicking her legs.

Miriam says she remembered something she saw on TV and tried it on Allison. The gum flew out, and Allyson caught her breath.

What show did she watch that ended up saving her friends life?

House?

Grey’s Anatomy?

Nope!

It was Spongebob Squarepants!

Miriam says she remembered an episode from the Nickelodeon animated series in which Squidward gets a clarinet lodged in his throat and SpongeBob does the Heimlich manoeuvre.

Bless that sponge!

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Archie Comics announced Thursday that in an issue out Sept. 1, the long-running comic will introduce its new character, Kevin Keller.

The strapping blond will defeat Jughead in a burger eating contest, win the affection of Veronica and wrestle over how to gently rebuff her flirtations.

Why?

Can’t handle her snobby ways?

Not exactly!

Kevin is gay!

Jon Goldwater, co-CEO of Archie Comics, says the introduction of Kevin is “about keeping the world of Archie Comics current and inclusive.”

So, what? Now there will be three people vying for Archie’s affections?

Today is Earth Day!

I like the idea of everybody trying to do a little something to make the world a cleaner place to live in, even if we should be doing something EVERY day.

Let’s put this in perspective; 

Recycling one aluminum can saves enough energy to watch a TV for three hours.

One can…three hours of TV.

So if I drink 6 cans of Coors during a hockey game, not only am I saving energy when I recycle, hell I’m banking it!

Also, this might make you recycle more paper, 1500 acres of mixed hardwood forest replace the oxygen used up by about 80,000 people.

And perhaps the coolest stat I’ve heard on this Earth Day; 

If everyone on earth would stop breathing for just 5 minutes the problem of global warming would be solved.

Of course it would, because some of us would be dead after passing out and smacking our head on the corner of the coffee table!

Drinking beer and holding my breath, Happy Earth Day!

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People spoke and people listened!

A controversial new sex ed curriculum that would have seen Ontario kids learn about sexual orientation in Grade 3 will be postponed and reworked.

Damn straight it should! I shudder to think that my 8 year old daughter was mere months away from learning about the birds and the bees.

What right does some ‘stranger’ have to decide what time is good for the ‘talk’?

What’s worse, is that under the proposed changes that were quietly released in January, the stage would be set for Sex-Ed when children are in Grade 1!?!

Are you kidding me?

I speak through experience that school is NOT the place to learn about sex!

I had the joy of learning about the ‘ways of the world’ in a catholic school, by a nun!

Seriously, learning about sex from a nun is like learning Ultimate fighting from a ballet dancer, and they even had the gall to tell us not to laugh during the discussion!

You tell me, picture Sister Mary Margaret explaining with all the seriousness in the world, what’s going on down there!!!!!

I was kicked out before I ever found out how babies were made!

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Taylor Swift is the latest celebrity to get the biography comic treatment from Bluewater Production in their Fame series.   Fame: Taylor Swift takes a look back at the singer-songwriter’s rise to stardom and highlights different points in her career, in comic form!

Check it out;

Where are the robots threatening Earth? Bad guys getting Taylor’s high heel in the side of their heads?

Seems, how would you say it……B-O-R-I-N-G…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

I don’t know if you noticed, but it’s getting warmer and that means it’s time to put away the snow pants and that sweater your mother in law made you for another year.

It also means the 2010 outdoor concert season is underway, and it looks like it’s going to be a good one.

June 19^th the 2^nd Annual Saugeen Summer Nights takes place at the Clifford Arena & Ball Diamond, and check out this lineup; George Canyon, Terri Clark, Johnny Reid, One More Girl, Doc Walker, Dean Brody, & the Mike Plume Band. This would’ve been a great Canada Day show! http://www.saugeensummernights.ca/

If it’s been awhile since you visited Sarnia, circle July 16^TH & 17^TH on your calendars as Keith Urban & Alan Jackson are slated to headline Rogers Bayfest with support from the Road Hammers, Aaron Lines, Shane Yellowbird, Dean Brody & Marshall Dane. http://www.sarniabayfest.com/

The 21^st Annual Havelocke Country Jamboree is slated for August 19^th-22^nd, and judging by the lineup, country fans that miss the way Country Music used to be are going to eat this up. Tanya Tucker, Marty Stuart, Ricky Skaggs, Patty Loveless, Colin Raye are among those performing along with Gretchen Wilson, Dean Brody, Doc Walker & a ton more. Check out the website, http://www.havelockjamboree.com/.

A few things to remember when you attend these shows;

1. Front row or bathrooms, you can’t have both!

2. Anyone over 6’4 (I’m 6’5) is bound to have somebody behind them say, ‘I can’t believe I spent money to look at this guy’s back!’

3. If you’re single guy, girls (even those that don’t know you) will love to sit on your shoulders! Especially those who are stuck behind a tall guy! Start building up your leg strength. 

4. Bring a garbage bag with you and stuff it in one of your pockets. Instant rain coat if it starts to get wet.

5. Security won’t be such a jerk to you if you don’t try to sneak liquor into the concert area. 

Happy trails!

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So where were the Zac Brown Band during last weekend’s ACM Awards in Vegas?

They bypassed the event so they could join a USO tour.

It’s all about priorities people! 

And now they’ve  start a letter-writing campaign for U.S. military personnel.The Letters for Lyrics campaign kicks off May 10 with a goal of sending one million letters to U.S. troops stationed throughout the world.

How can you NOT love these guys?

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How NOT to start your day….

http://www.break.com/index/webcam-chicks-coffee-cup-explodes.html

Is it me, or are the woodland creatures getting a little too brave?

Remember when wild animals showed some fear to guys like me?

Last night, I was BBQ’ing while watching the joke they call ‘Raw’ (McGruber? Come on!’), when I felt the eyes of another upon me!

I turn around and sitting about 15 feet away from, was a rabbit!

Cute little guy, who just sat there staring at me!

Now in the animal world, men are feared because some of us hunt, while others would love to catch them just for the heck of it!

Picture what this rabbit was seeing, the remains of a fellow animal sizzling above an open flame, with a 6’5 ‘monster’ holding a spatula looming above the carnage!

Yet, this rabbit just sat there!

Has he not heard the tales of rabbit stew? Or am I not considered ‘threatening’ to the animal kingdom?

Was he taking part in a ‘rite of passage’? Were older rabbits hiding in the bushes daring him to do it, because I tell you this rabbit had ‘grapefruits’! 

This guy just sat there, showing no signs of worry whatsoever.

Instead of shooing him away, I just looked at him and looked at the steaks and said, ‘Friend of yours?’

Upon hearing that he scampered away, knowing he stood his ground and was now considered one of the ‘cool’ critters!

What’s next? Meeting me on my doorstep and dropping some pellets on my foot?

Now THAT would be brave!

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OK, maybe this went a little too far.

Rubbing Canada’s Olympic Men’s Hockey win in the faces of our American neighbours is one thing, but messing with their flag?

The La Quinta police department in southeastern California has filed a complaint with the district attorney seeking state misdemeanour charges against two men after they allegedly replaced an American flag on a mountaintop with a Canadian one the night of Canada’s Olympic win over the U.S.

Police allege Ryan Smith, 25, and Matt Siefert, 26, climbed Point Happy and switched the flags after Sidney Crosby scored Canada’s winning goal in overtime on Feb. 28. The American flag, which belonged to a private citizen, was on display to honour the victims of the Sept. 11 attacks, said Sgt. Rick Waltch in an e-mail.

Switching flags? OK, not so bad but degrading it?

The investigation found the American flag “damaged,” Waltch said.

La Quinta police are seeking to charge both men with vandalism and flag desecration, which, if convicted, carry a maximum penalty of, are you ready for this?

 One year in jail.

The two men reside in California but are Canadian citizens.

Remember this if you’re intoxicated in Michigan this summer and come across the Stars & Stripes!

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Sometimes, it’s best to keep quiet. 

It may be an honor just to be nominated, but at least one member of Gloriana admitted feeling they were robbed of the ACM Award for Top New Artist.

In a category which also included duo Joey + Rory, the ACM trophy was won by Luke Bryan. After the show, Gloriana’s Tom Gossin took to his Twitter page to vent his frustration over he and his bandmates losing the award. “So friends — let’s break it down,” he tweeted. “Luke had a No. 1 song before we even started recording our album. New artist? Thoughts? Listen — on the real — Luke is a f-in great dude! He deserved that award. I just wish the noms were more realistic. He’s got 2 albums out!”

He’s got a point, this system is a little flawed. I mean how could you be called a ‘New Artist’ if you have 2 albums out?

Speaking of flawed systems, remember last Fall when Lady Gaga lost the fan voted 2009 American Music Awards Breakthrough Artist award to that country group?

What were they called again?

Whoa! Did what happened at the ACM’s in Vegas really just happened?

Some shocking developments last night, which didn’t involve any winners as much as it involved who did NOT win!

Taylor Swift was shut out!!!

What? No!!

Yep, even the fan-voted Entertainer of The Year bypassed Taylor and landed in the arms of Carrie Underwood. (When is Brad or Keith going to win this!?!)

The Female Vocalist of The Year was won by Miranda Lambert (LOVE her!), as was the video of the year honour.

And Lady A’s ‘Need You Now’ was deemed the ‘Song Of The Year’.

Kind of happy that she didn’t win because with what she has won so far, she’d need another house!!!

And Reba was great as host, but one her jokes rubbed somebody the wrong way!

In a gag that first took aim at a country superstar, Reba joked, “Next is Toby Keith. Toby has a chain of restaurants called I Love This Bar and Grill. It specializes in fried onion rings, fried mozzarella sticks and southern fried Twinkies. Yeah, that sounds like Thanksgiving at Kirstie Alley’s house to me.”

Kirstie, a frequent Twitter user, tweeted: @reba wow…thought we girls would stick together….next time you need a fat joke about me, just ask…Mine are funny.”

OUCH!!!!

Great show all around, with one of the best openings EVER!

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Well finally!

We finally know why the world is experiencing earthquakes! 

A senior Iranian cleric says women who wear immodest clothing and behave promiscuously are to blame.

Iran is one of the world’s most earthquake-prone countries, and the cleric’s unusual explanation for why the earth shakes follows a prediction by President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that a quake is certain to hit Tehran and that many of its 12 million inhabitants should relocate.

“Many women who do not dress modestly … lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes,” Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi was quoted as saying by Iranian media. Sedighi is Tehran’s acting Friday prayer leader.

Women in the Islamic Republic are required by law to cover from head to toe, but many, especially the young, ignore some of the more strict codes and wear tight coats and scarves pulled back that show much of the hair.

“What can we do to avoid being buried under the rubble?” Sedighi asked during a prayer sermon Friday. “There is no other solution but to take refuge in religion and to adapt our lives to Islam’s moral codes.”

Seismologists have warned for at least two decades that it is likely the sprawling capital will be struck by a catastrophic quake in the near future.

So it isn’t the clothes or lack thereof that will cause the tremors.

Heck, I walked around Kitchener-Waterloo with shorts on last summer, and it’s still standing!

For now, until I go thong shopping!

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OK, this guy got caught speeding, which I have no problem with.

What does concern me is HOW they pulled him over….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHjjF55M8JQ&feature=player_embedded