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Archive for September, 2009

OK, time to come clean, I have drunk dialed during my LATE teens! Hey, I had to call a girl, and Labatt’s provided the courage while my buddies Andy & Dave were there for moral support! I don’t remember how the conversation went, but I do know I never saw her again!

She wasn’t the only one to get a slurring call late at night!

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Taylor Swift may have received a phone apology from Kanye West recently but she wasn’t supposed to pick up the phone when Katy Perry called sometime last month.

“I wasn’t going to say anything about that ever!” Taylor said about Katy drunk dialing her in the middle of the night. “I don’t want to tell secrets!”

It was 3 or 4 in the morning when Katy intended on leaving Taylor a funny voicemail. She called Taylor, thinking she’d be asleep, but Taylor surprisingly picked up the phone! Hey, gurl!

Ms. Swift apologized profusely for answering and hung up so Katy could leave her funny voicemail. Taylor wasn’t able to share the exact voicemail but was able to divulge this much: “It was a very colorful and creative, unique voicemail.”

 

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Heard a great story today! For the benefit of those involved, I won’t mention any names but I was talking to a ‘school yard friend’ when the subject of Halloween came up. We chatted about what our kids were going out as, when she mentioned she had to buy all new Halloween decorations. Why?

Well, it seems her husband, when instructed to put away the decorations until next year, packed the Jack O’Lanterns as well…..REAL Jack O’Lanterns!

Needless to say, a pumpkin gets pretty squishy and fuzzy after a year in a plastic tub!

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Mats Sundin announced his retirement today (sigh), another former Leaf captain to do so without winning the Stanley Cup!

While you’ll find a ton of tributes on You Tube, this one is among the best….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQwYtZpqqjk

Thanks Mats!

You wake up one night, and hear a disturbance outside. Luckily for you and your two teenaged daughters, you have a security camera set up and see this;

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The surprised look belongs to the face of their now 19 year old neighbour, who, on the night of his arrest, & minutes after Patricia Marshall called 911,  admitted to police to frequent forays into the Marshalls’ back yard under the cloak of darkness, peering though partially-closed blinds, seeing all three woman in various states of undress at various times, and then pleasuring himself.

Yet this perv, whose family retained the service of a high-end St. Catharines lawyer, had the charge against him withdrawn!!!!!

Wait, the second kick in the pants is coming. 

Within hours of hearing this, Patricia Marshall received a threatening letter from the perp’s lawyer.

The lawyer’s letter, signed by Niagara Falls counsel Margaret Hoy, reads as follows:

“Please be advised that I am the solicitor for James Cedar,” the letter begins. “It has come to my attention that you have installed surveillance cameras which photograph and videotape into my client’s yard and windows.

“Further, it appears that you have contacted various media, including CHCH-TV and some newspapers. “My client has constitutionally protected privacy rights as do all Canadians and such conduct by you is contrary to Mr. Cedar’s rights of privacy and security,” writes Hoy.

“In the event that these rights are violated further,” Hoy warns, “I have strict instructions to take further action.”

ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!

As a father to two daughters, it’s one thing to have this idiot running free, but then for him to have the audacity to threaten me!?!?!

I doubt very much I would’ve called 911, well actually I would because somebody would have to remove my boot from his butt!

The lawyers may try to quiet the Marshalls, but my big yap is running full force, come and stop me!!!

How long before somebody else is ‘observed’ or worse?

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Making changes as ratings continue to decrease, TLC has changed the name of “Jon and Kate Plus 8” to “Kate Plus Eight” beginning November 2.

Dropping Jon from the spotlight, the show will follow document the tribulations of a single mother while also following the kids.

(insert BIG YAWN here)

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OK, my wife is weird, but I love her! Weird because she’s the last person you’d expect to get excited over this…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKs6u5qPRSM

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I hate reality TV! I really do. The people who think they’re all that just because they appeared on one! Why people bow down to the celebrity of  these morons, I’ll never know. With that being said, you’ll understand why it’s hard for me to say what I’m about to say….

I LOVE THE LASTEST SURVIOUR!!!!!

I watched the first episode last week, and the second over the weekend (Thank you PVR), and I am a fan of Russell, the millionaire who doesn’t need the money but is on the show just to prove that he can win. He’s lying to everybody, and they’re falling for it.

Curse you man, because you have sucked me in to the awful void that I so proudly avoided all these years!

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For those who say ‘There are no honest guys out there!’

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Billy Currington says there is one thing lacking in his life — a significant other! “I don’t have a girlfriend, I really want one, though. I really do want one.”

Told that newly single Jessica Simpson mentioned that she thought Billy was cute, he recounted a jab the singer directed at him a few months ago, when she was still dating Dallas Cowboy Tony Romo. “We did a show in San Antonio together not too long ago,” he remembers. “I sang my song and then it was her time, and she looked at me and she’s like, ‘So you think you’re some cowboy … with your cargo pants and your flip-flops? Well I got a real cowboy.’ And she got booed!”

Still, Billy did offer a temporary fix to help Jessica get over her broken heart. “I’m up for a one-night stand anytime!” he said, quickly adding, “I only want it for one night though. No more than one night. That’s high-maintenance there … I’m in if you can hook it up!”

Will Jessica accept? Stay tuned!

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OK, quiz time! Where was the picture below taken?

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Florida? No.

Australia? Way off.

Anybody say ‘London, Ontario’?

Animal control officers tried to capture this caiman, spotted in a pond outside a London subdivision, but with no success.

The smallest of the breed, the dwarf caiman, can reach lengths of 1.2 metres in females and 1.6 m in males.

The caiman is no danger to adults, but pets and small children might be at risk, officers said.

They added, if they can’t capture it, the oncoming cool tempratures will do him in.

Officers believe it was left by someone who couldn’t afford to take care of it anymore. 

What a dumb move!

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It’s finally Friday, and what a weekend it’s going to be, Football, Party at Dallas, kids Birthday party tomorrow (Happy B-Day Jenna), and I’m going to do something I’ve always wanted to do, MAKE CHILI!!!!

I have to do it right because in the event I get hit by a bus, I want to be known as ‘the guy who made a mean pot of chili’.

Plus, I’ll be invited to every Super Bowl party, and won’t have to share because the family doesn’t like spicy foods! Where can a guy get “Guatemalan Insanity Peppers” ? 

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Think long and hard before you get tattoed……

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It’s no secret that Blake Shelton is an avid hunter and outdoorsman. So when the singer decided to get a tattoo a few years back, he chose to design his own: a trail of deer tracks on his left forearm.

“To this moment, people still come up to me and say, ‘Man, ladybugs … that’s cool. What does that mean to you?’ I probably have the crappiest tattoo — not only in country music — but maybe the world.”

Blake explains that the ladybug comments evoked another trip to the tattoo parlor, to get barbed wire inked around the deer tracks, making his tattoos “more manly.”

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I’m gonna say it, I’m proud of this guy…….

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The comeback kid has been released by the Flames and will not be going to Abbottsford, said club management Friday morning.

“I believe Theoren did a great job and should be proud, especially considering all the factors including age, time away from the game and lifestyle change,” said Flames General Manager Darryl Sutter.

“This is not a hockey story; it’s a life story. Our agreement with Theoren was that he had to be one of our top six wingers and there were never any intentions of assigning him to the American Hockey League.”

The 41-year-old, who’d been attempting a comeback after six years out of the NHL and a much-publicized battle with alcoholism, was not on the ice when the Flames held practice Friday.


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According to a source, Fleury came to the rink but departed a half hour before practice began.

Theo, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of!

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Barbie is heading to the big screen – Universal Pictures is set to make a live-action film based around the popular blonde doll.

Film bosses are convinced the picture will be a hit as the 50-year-old Mattel toy is so well known throughout the world, and is the top girls’ toy in the U.S.

Universal Pictures chairman Marc Shmuger says, “Barbie is the most famous doll in history, a unique cultural icon in the world of brands. So many representations of Barbie frequent pop culture.

“We’re grateful to Mattel for entrusting us with this extraordinary opportunity. Barbie may be the most popular girl in the world, and has always been a wonderfully aspirational figure, so we must do her proud.” 

OK, as a father to two girls, and one who has had no choice but to watch EVERY animated Barbie flick 100

times, Iwant to throw my 2 cents in as to who should get the role of Babs!

First of all, no models because Barbie DOES in fact eat.

Second, the first hollywood exec who suggests Paris Hilton will be hunted down and beaten with a stick.

Thirdly, let it be someone who hasn’t been pictured naked, drunk, stoned, wasted, upside down, or in a mug shot!

1. Ashley Tisdale, one of the faces in the…..what were those movies called? Oh yeah High School Musical.

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Sara Paxton, who played a mermaid in Aquamarine (yeah saw that too, remember? Two daughters?), and she LOOKS like Barbie.

If Barbie is tall, then Taylor Swift has to be considered, she’s like around 6 feet!

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..and Blake Lively, who alot of online critics say would be a good choice.

Let us know who you think should be driving around the silver screen in a pink convertable.

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Kenny Chesney received some surprises at the final blowout of his Sun City Carnival Tour in Indianapolis last weekend, just after his big announcement that he will take a break from touring in 2010. Opening act Miranda Lambert boarded his bus before the show, carrying a camo gun case and gifted Kenny with a 20-gauge Beretta shotgun as a thanks for being part of this year’s tour. And though it was an emotional night for sure, band and crew still found time for hijinx and pranks galore.According to those in attendance Miranda was singing the last song of her set when her beloved, pink camo golf cart was carried out in pieces onstage by Kenny’s crew. She was reportedly a good sport about the dismantling, hopping aboard the stripped vehicle and waving as it was pulled away at the end of her show. Even Kenny himself wasn’t immune to the pranks — someone placed a For Sale sign in the window of the singer’s bus during the show! No word on whether he’s actually selling the bus or just parking it for a year, but we’re sure it could probably use a well-deserved rest!

I love Miranda, who here believes it’s time for her to go to the next level?

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I, for the life of me, cannot believe that somebody is getting a massive paycheque to come up with these 3rd NHL Jerseys for the upcoming NHL season;

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I could’ve sworn they were the Tampa Bay LIGHTNING! Imagine what you could do with lightning? C’mon, BOLTS!?!?!?

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Liked the purple, always will. I would accept a King on skates before this.

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Like the Lightning, shortening the team name lacks imagination.dallasjersey.jpg

Dumb, just plain dumb!

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I’ve had it with Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana!

Why? 

We bought our kids their Halloween costumes this week.

Allannah got a kick butt vampire costume for $9.95.

Danielle got a Hannah Montana costume that looks like a regular shirt and skirt except it has Hannah’s picture on it. Price? $39-freakin’.95!

My house could pass as a MC/HM museum, what with all the junk emblazoned with with her face! Junk I paid an extra 55% for, just to have the privledge of having her image on it. Toothbrushes, tooth paste, bubble bath, towels, bed sheets, comforters, thermos, lunch bag, book bag, calanders, barbies, floor mats, fake guitars, wireless mics, man, why is all this stuff here!?!

Oh yeah, I remember. It’s because two little girls looked up at me in unison and said “Please Daddy?’

Kids Crest, 99 cents. Hannah Montana Colgate, $2.59. I’m an idiot!

But come on, when was the last time your kids got excited about brushing their teeth? Going to bed?

Meanwhile, Miley and the Cyrus clan are raking in million$ because of shmucks like me.

Well no more Miley! Until Hannah Montana Beer becomes available, not a single cent of mine will end up in her account, Daddy’s taking a stand!

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Taylor Swift & Kellie Pickler are best buds, but do they ever have a crush on the same guy?

TS: We never have a crush on the same guy because we’re attracted to different kinds of people [laughs]. Kellie never, never thinks that the guys that I think are cute are cute. I have a really eclectic, weird taste in guys, and she just never ever agrees with it.

KP: We’re attracted to totally different people. She and I are nothing alike when it comes to boys. I feel like an old soul [laughs].

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Check out these pictures……

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That red/orange sky is not altered, or a sunrise/sunset. It’s because of a blanket of red dust that shrouded most of Sydney today. Dust storms, not good for the hair!

Well, if you’ve been hearing the KIX Chicks in the morning, you know that one half of that duo has no love for my boy Tom Brady. She’s a Bills fan, me a Patriots and the rivalry renewed now that football season has started up. Here’s the story I talked about earlier that will no doubt add to Jenn’s hatred for the guy….

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Two paparazzi are suing supermodel Gisele Bundchen and her husband Tom Brady after the rear window of their car was shot out at the couple’s Costa Rica wedding. The two men claim bodyguards shot at them after shoo-ing them away for taking pictures of the ceremony. They claim Brady and Bundchen were negligent in hiring and training the security team and want more than $1 million in damages.

Now I dislike the paparazzi more than I dislike the Miami Dolphins, but if those leeches are telling the truth, then Mr & Mrs Brady had better get more than just a slap on the wrist.

Go Patriots!

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Taylor Swift likes being famous because she can buy other people coffee.

Taylor insists she loves sharing her good fortune with others, and particularly loves surprising strangers with her generosity.

She said: “Now I’m in a better position to be a bigger tipper when I’m out at a restaurant. People don’t expect it and you can make their day.

“I like going through a Starbucks drive-through and paying for the person behind, just because it’s nice.”

You knows, it’s amazing how much a stranger appreciates a free coffee. If you have never tried it, do it the next time your in the Tim Horton’s drive thru. Karma baby, pure karma.

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And finally, allow me to officially welcome you to Fall, and the embarrassment it causes to some….

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LOL, that’s funny!

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Well, this is it! Time to put the speedo away for another year, and start cranking the heat! This is the last full day of Summer 2009, and I think I’ll take the time to reflect on what made it great;

1. Rogers Bayfest in Sarnia. I speak from experience when I call this THE party of the summer. Who knew man was phyically able to hold three beers at once?

2. See Kenny Chesney for the first time. Even though we had to survive a lightning storm, and near tornandos, Kenny was everything you guys told me he was. 

3. Seeing my nephew Matteo for the first time, and it was sunny and nice when that happened!

4. Having Terri Clark in the same room as me. I don’t care what the restraining order says, I love her!!!!!

5. Planning a trip to Nova Scotia and through sheer luck, being there when Sidney Crosby brought the Stanley Cup to his hometown of Cole Harbour.

Some good times, and despite the whole hitting a moose with the car, and having our ferry catch fire, it wasn’t a BAD summer. 3 stars out of 5.

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It’s been six years since the world bid a final goodbye to Johnny Cash. The Man in Black died Sept. 12, 2003, but his memory remains and his spirit has been particularly present in Music City and elsewhere this week. Last week, Faith Hill posted a message on her official website, recalling a special event she experienced related to the American icon more than a decade ago.

Faith writes: “I’ve been busy cleaning out boxes, organizing, etc. and today I ran across a couple of ticket stubs from shows that I did in 1996. One that caught my eye was a show in July 1996 with Johnny Cash. I just sat there and stared at it…JOHNNY CASH in big letters and then MY name. Wow! I performed ‘Will The Circle Be Unbroken’ with Johnny and June [Carter Cash] that night. What an unforgettable experience. The box was full of mementos and boy am I glad I kept those. So many great memories.”

Oh, by the way, happy 42nd B-Day Faith!

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Kenny Chesney wrapped up his Sun City Carnival tour over the weekend in Indianapolis, and has announced that he will not be touring next year. Here’s the last you’ll see of Kenny in awhile….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05HXtBZMcN4

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No Kanye needed this time, because during a radio interview yesterday Taylor Swift cut her own self off — after the DJ repeatedly asked her about the VMA incident against her wishes.

It’s all anyone cares about this week, but apparently the West situation wasn’t a pre-approved “talking point” for her visit to the MJ Morning Show. After briefly addressing the controversy, Swift was done — but the DJ wasn’t.

The dude kept pressing the issue as Taylor told him three times to stop — then her handlers stepped in and stopped the interview completely.
Give it a listen….


http://mj.933flz.com/cc-common/mediaplayer/player.html?redir=yes&mps=mj_media_player.php&mid=http://a1135.g.akamai.net/f/1135/23391/1h/cchannel.download.akamai.com/23391/48/richmedia/TaylorSwiftInterview.mp3?CCOMRRMID=33433187&CPROG=RICHMEDIA&MARKET=TAMPA-FL&NG_FORMAT=personality&NG_ID=MJMS-IP&OR_NEWSFORMAT=&OWNER=48&SERVER_NAME=www.mjmorningshow.com&SITE_ID=48&STATION_ID=MJMS-IP&TRACK=taylor_swift_interview_gone_bad

Siding with Taylor here…..

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OK, is there anything better than the opening of a new hockey season? The Kitchener Rangers have reloaded and there will be no ‘finishing out of the playoffs’ this year. My oldest daughter has been looking forward to this all week, and so have some of her friends. Today they were chanting ‘Let’s Go Rangers’ on the playground, (sniff) I was so proud!

Can’t wait to mill around the Aud, see the sea of blue jerseys, and arrange the necessary financing for the snacks I’ll have to buy!

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If you have pre-teen daughters, getting ready for a last minute road trip!

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The Jonas Brothers are at the Rockwood Conservation area shooting scenes for Camp Rock 2.
The film is the sequel to the Disney Channel Original Movie, Camp Rock.

The band, which consists of brothers Kevin, Joe and Nick began filming earlier this week.

Hundreds of fans armed with cameras and signs gathered at the conservation area eager to catch a glimpse of one of the brothers. Tuesday the band did an impromptu concert from the roof of their van along with co-star Demi Lovato.

Shooting in Rockwood wraps up today and then the boys move on to Sudbury, but sources say they will be back to film in Rockwood in a few weeks.

OK, I like animals. Heck, I’ll go as far as saying I love animals. The Hart family includes our dog Buffy, rabbit named Shivers, and a tank full of fish, but to say they rank at the same level as my kids is ridiculous!

Dogs, cats, hamsters, rabbits, they’re all animals!

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I go on this rant because of Jessica Simpson.

Jessica lost her 5-year-old maltipoo, Daisy, after it was snatched by a coyote Monday night.

“Still holding out hope despite the a–holes that say is it a dumb thing to do,” the singer wrote on Twitter.

“Daisy is my baby…why would I stop searching? I’m a mom,” she said.

Whoa! Hold on! Did she say ‘mom’?!?

Exactly how many hours of labour did you endure having Daisy?

And who’s the father?

Those late night feedings must have taken alot out of you!

Dogs are NOT kids!

It bugs the hell out of me when someone caters to a pet, when there are children out there who would love to have a hug from someone who loves them. When animals are treated better than people, I have a problem with that.

I really do hope she finds her dog though, really. After all, I love animals!

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Thought there was something similar about what Oscar-winning actress Cate Blanchett wore at a premiere in Australia today…..

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..it’s the blanket from Roseanne’s couch!!!!

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Love him, or hate him you can’t help but root for the underdogTheoren Fleury is attempting a comeback Tonight, he’ll skate onto Saddledome ice wearing a Calgary Flames jersey for a tilt against the Islanders where the fans, in undoubtedly a full building, will be excited to see him don the Flaming C again.

He was traded from the Flames back in 1999, leaving as the club’s all-time point scorer, and he last skated in a NHL game six years ago.

It was just last week he was reinstated from the NHL’s Substance Abuse & Behavioural Health Program. Everyone makes mistakes, not everybody learns from them.

Go Theo!