It’s because you are stupid, you are not getting any smarter, and the big companies know it!

Now don’t take that personal. I don’t mean YOU in the “you, the solitary person that is reading this right now”. I more mean, US, as in the public! We are really really stupid. Don’t believe me?

We really are dumb folks, and what really pains me is the fact that not only do big businesses not try to help us by teaching us not to be dumb, they in fact encourage the behaviour. Case in Point: 3D Television!! You may have heard of 3D Television, this brand new invention that is supposed to revolutionize TV watching until the end of time! I’m not going to go into the details of all the technology, but 3D is here. If you want to learn more, go to Google and search 3DTV. You’ll find info. But the best way I can think of describing 3DTV is…. By calling LASER DISC!! Remember Laser Disc? I’m with. I know it existed, but that’s about it. I never really saw a Laser Disc in action. And there is a reason for that. The reason is that Laserdisc was released to the public around the same time frame that VHS finally dominated Betamax.

(You mean my  Beta copies of Fantasy Island aren’t compatible with DVD?)

The problem with Laser Disc coming out at that time, well you see, was the cost and timing. People just spent several years going through whether or not to buy beta or VHS. The public decided to go on lower price vs. quality, and chose VHS (ask anyone, or look up facts and people will tell you beta is better… but no one wanted it and it died). Right after that, laser disc came out…. And died. Some people who had lots of cash or were just retarded had a laser disc player. But it really just kinda ended. This is kinda like the Laser Disc for a new generation. We’ve just gone through the HD revolution. Just 20 years ago you could barely make out who was fighting out on the ice during a scrap; now, you can not only make out the players, but you can even see the guy in the 8^th row picking his nose while spilling beer all over the child sitting in front of him. That’s pretty impressive. And that technology, that cost a shit load a couple years ago. Now it’s… well I won’t say it is the standard, but it isn’t a huge stretch to save an extra hundred dollars or two and splurge for the HD set. If you want to save up for that 3D set… keep on saving up!!!! (after this list of costs, there will be a list of why the technology really isn’t that good to begin with) Why is it going to be so expensive: YOU HAVE TO BUY EVERYTHING!!! Let’s start with the televisions. It’s no simple TV. It’s 3DTV!! You gotta pay extra for that. Upward of 2-3 thousand dollars! And that’s for… 32 inches, tops.  Now, add to that the fact that there really isn’t that much 3D content out there, shitty movies from the 50s(that… well those are 3D without this technology), avatar, and, well when ESPN and Discovery channel roll out their 3D channels, two television channels!(oh… those are American… so us Canucks is screwed for TV). That means you need to watch Bluray instead. Oh wait…. Not just normal blu ray? 3D Blu Ray is its own thing? So you have to buy a 3D Blu Ray player to hook up to your 3D Television…. You know it!! And that little bastard is starting at around 1000 bucks right now. On top of that stuff, you need the glasses to see the 3D. And they are special 3D glasses. So special, they are digital!! They are electronic. And they cost between 100 and 300 dollars each! So if you want to get everyone in your family a set it will be 400-1200 dollars, just for the glasses.… so upgrading from the High Defintion, that you probably had for a year or two, will cost upwards of 4000 dollars. Oh, and all of this stuff is new, so that’s American money. It’s only getting pricier.There are some people out there that will buy this stuff, but really, they are going to buy it anyway. I wasn’t going to stop them. I’m going to try to stop you though. Because you are buying technology that will be obsolete by the time the Leaf’s are mathematically eliminated from the playoffs (wait for it… wait for it… NOW! And they’re eliminated). Some downsides to 3D TV as it stands right now1)      You have 3DTV, and somehow got that ESPN feed, so you wanna watch some sports with the boys! You have 4 sets of glasses. There are 6 guys, but 1 has a couple pair of glasses from his TV so he can bring them over and you can all watch! WRONG. So amazingly wrong that it hurts. Glasses will be specific to the Television, so you can’t just bring your own glasses to watch at someone else’s house. If you add up the price of the glasses for your family and a couple extra for friends, your glasses just cost more than several top end HDTVs.2)      Don’t have enough glasses for your friends you invited, and some people don’t have glasses? Well, they’re boned!! The image only comes through in the 3D, and is basically a giant blur without the glasses. So you and your friend’s will be tripping balls over that move the Kobe just pulled on Dwayne Wade, and your friends will basically be yelling “WHAT DID I MISS!?!?!?!”3)      Your glasses will need batteries, or most likely will be plugged into the TV via a cable because they need power to work! They use this active-shutter-technology, which basically means they flash the image really really really really fast over and over again, to the point that you don’t notice. So you get to literally hook yourself up to the TV, and possibly endure a flicker-induced seizure

(feel nauseous yet?)

4)      3D. HD. You want both… but you can’t!!! Because of bandwidth. HD is really really big. There’s a lot of digital info that is sent through and HD signal. Same with 3D. Whatever signal is being sent, it is automatically doubled because there are two images (the one for your left eye, and the one for your right eye). Because they are so big, at the moment it is impossible to broadcast 3D signals that are also in High Definition!!!!So take your pick! HD or 3DAnd that is why the economy is tanked. Big companies like LG, Sony, Panasonic, and many others are putting billions of dollars into research, development, production and promotion of this stuff because they know that you(that global you, not the singular you) are so stupid, that there are enough people to make this a feasible business venture.And now, just think about all that stuff that you thought was really useful and advanced… betamax, laserdisc, Nintendo’s virtua boy, Sega Dreamcast, 8 track players. It is just another way to get your money to buy random crap. So it turns out that the economy isn’t screwed because WE are ridiculously dumb, we’re getting dumber and the big companies know it. It is because we are dumb, but you are in fact getting smarter and realizing that using credit and loans to buy the same stuff every year like TVs, cars, stereos, children(if you live in an area with a blackmarket, that is), and houses is a terrible idea.But wait for the 2011 model of 3DTVs. They are going to be awesome.- Beef

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Alright. Well I guess you can’t straight up thank her for the weather. I mean she isn’t Storm from the X-men. But you see, Storm is fake. And Johanna Wagstaffe is real…

REAL HOT! I officially want to make the statement, that Johanna Wagstaffe is the hottest woman on Canadian TV right now. Just think of it this way: She’s smoking hot, and has the word METEOR in her job title. It really puts her at the pinnacle.

If you agree or disagree, drop a comment. Do you think anyone else is out there hotter than Johanna? (I predict a 30% chance of not finding anyone. Haha)

I can’t believe I made it all the way through this post without making a joke about a high pressure system in my pants! Oh wait… does that count as the joke? Ah well!

- Beef

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So I think I’m going to get a tattoo this weekend! I’ve never gotten a tattoo before, so I’m pretty pumped. I’m just getting my name, Beef, put on my shoulder… you know, cliche biker style!! I am gonna get it done in the Motorhead font!! And yes, I can hear you murmuring under your voice, and I completely agree: very bad ass

 Then I randomly came across this shirt

http://www.boingboing.net/2010/03/04/motorhead-larry-davi.html

For 15 dollars (american, I’m sure)  you can rock this shirt!! It takes all the bad-ass-ness of Motorhead, and adds in a fantastic touch of Larry David!

You might recognize David from his show Curb Your Enthusiasm, or before that as the inspiration for George Costanza and a big part of why Seinfeld was great

Oh Larry.

- Beef

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Alright. So here at Q92, we’re all about smack talk… or is it Trash talk? We go to Kelly from the office to describe the difference:

Thanks for the clarification!! Now that stuff goes on all the time. Right now, it’s going on with blogs. Max and Mike are saying that they get more comments than me on their blog. Now that I have the clarification, it is in fact SMACK talk they are laying down. Well I lay down no more!

My goal is to get way more comments than they do, and I wanna do it just on this single blog. It’s very simple… If you’re a club q rockstar, you drop a comment on this blog. Just make sure to put in the email address you use for your Club Q Rockstar account. I’ll give you 100 Q points, just for leaving any comment! (Just make sure it is clean. If it is dirty, I will take away points. And yes… I do have that ability) Don’t make me lay the smack down…. or the trash? I still can’t figure it out! whatever. Drop a comment, and get some points!

- Beef

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Only the second edition of Trampled Under Foot. It’s gonna be a quick one too. After all, it’s just the pre-season. With all the CBA crap happening right now, there’s no guarantee that there will even be a regular season. So get it while it’s hot!

It’s the final of the Walt Disney World Pro Soccer Classic. Toronto FC vs New York Red Bulls. It’s just a tune up tournament (4 teams) so even if there was an outright favourite, it’s hard to tell as they are trying out different players. They are also getting the regulars into shape too, so don’t think you won’t see quality!

It’s streaming live tonight at TorontoFC.ca at 8.

Updates on the CBA negotiations and the roster of the team as Preki nails that down we will get to next week. Too much Olympics to full-on switch gears to grass.

- Beef

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For the really hardcore Metallica fan - The Metal Den has unearthed the earliest known recording of the band, a 1982 recording of a rough “work in progress” that would become “Hit The Lights”. Just to give you an idea of how old this is, Dave Mustaine from Megadeth was still in the band and James Hetfield still had trouble finishing off a full bottle of JD

- Beef

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It’s official! The young adults are going back to school! But should they go back to school? If I was a student, the last place I would want to go is back to school…. because according to the vote that OPSEU conducted, pretty much half don’t want to be there. Have you ever been in a class with a Teacher that didn’t want to be there? Remember that shitty teacher that hated all the students. Yeah. This vote just created around 4000 of those teachers. I am all for democracy, and they voted and it’s awesome and they stopped the strike and everything. But man. How much of a Majority is 51 percent?You would probably trip balls if your kid regularly brought home 51 percents on his report card. 51 percent is not a good thing. In fact, if you look at pretty much any college in the province, regularly bringing in 51 percent would get your ass on academic probation (I know… 57 percent got me there in school). Not to mention, OPSEU has stated they really did not want to accept the offer. Unfortunately, many of the employees need the job. They didn’t’ want the strike, because they just wouldn’t be able to enforce it. Ted Montgomery, chair of the OPSEU bargaining team said “This vote is not an endorsement of the imposed terms and conditions or the employer’s last offer. Fear of a strike, according to most reports, was a key factor.”So they chose the offer they did not want because they didn’t want to go on strike. It is pretty terrible that business is becoming more important than the livelihood of a person. Colleges (institutes created for the sole purpose of education people) are now looking at the bottom dollar, rather than the quality of the productRemember, 3 years from now, when the bargaining offer is up, and OPSEU and the colleges go to table again…. remember that the teachers in this vote, voted on the basis that THEY DID NOT WANT TO CANCEL CLASS AND WANTED TO CONTINUE WORKING. They took something they didn’t want, and that kept kids in class. The colleges were 100 percent ready to shut the doors on the students. Remember that.- Beef

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So I just became an uncle for the first time, and I’ll be visiting down south to see the kid for the first time in a couple weeks. I wanna get him a present, and I want it to stand out. Now i’m all rock and roll, so I thought “ROCK AND ROLL BABY CLOTHES!!”…. but how muich is too much?

Motorhead One-sy

That looks badass, and it screams “thats’ fromy my Uncle Beef”, but is it too scary?

Iron Maiden is bad-ass… but Eddie is kinda scary for a baby…..

This one seems more designed for a child…. but I don’t think mom will like the message.

But I think this is the winner. It’s got attitude… and mom won’t trip balls when she sees it

Although… I really don’t think the ghost of Joe Strummer(lead singer of one of the leading punk bands in history) would be too happy to see his band’s name on a One-sy. Sorry Joe, you left, so the trouble is doubled!! (see that.. i used his lyrics against him)

- Beef

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I’m just trying to make my conscience feel better. We’re only days away from me once again devestating a field full of Club Q Rockstars at Jake’s Chicken Wing Eating contest during the South Porcupine Winter Carnival (all the details here). It’s alot of food. And in a short amount of time too. It can really devestate one’s innards.

So I thought i’d share this link. It’s basically 7 tips (note: not medical… they’re actually fairly un-educational, but they make sense)

Usually stuff on healthy eating is about eating healthy. This one is completely about just not gourging yourself like a pig.

Because really, they sole reason taht I am overweight…. is that I decided to use a fork instead of the chopsticks at the buffet…. I mean it couldn’t be that I have no self control and just eat too much food than my body can burn. Stupid scientists. When will you learn the key to weightloss has always been the chopsticks!!!

7 reasons your still fat (courtesy of Yahoo)

Beef

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GETTIN GIGGY WITH IT!!! JS Giguere starts off his Leaf career with two shut outs. Gotta love that. My favourite part though, a 5-0 shut out of the SENATORS. If there is one thing anyone should know about me, it’s that I hate the Ottawa Senators. I would rather see the Ottawa Senators lose than the Leafs win. It really does get that bad. Which makes this so much sweeter.

WHAMMY!!!!

It’s that kind of rough play that makes me feel a little better that we sent Ian White to Calgary. We still got Colton Orr. And that says a lot.

I still stand by what I said at the beginning of the season, don’t expect to see the leafs in the playoffs. But since they’ve made these two trades, we can finally see a good starting point to get the leafs from outta the basement.

And if we gotta beat the bejesus out of the Senators (both on the scoreboard and their faces), well I think I can live with myself if we need to.

- Beef

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