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How many times a day are we frustrated? The line at the grocery store is taking too long…’COME ON! THIS SAYS EXPRESS…YOU’RE WAY OVER THE….’ Ok, calm down. Or, the elderly driver in front of us who is doing 30 in a 60….so we feel the best thing to do is speed up, look at them and cut them off out of sheer..’I'll show YOU how to drive!!’ attitude.
Or, how we seem to complain that there is nothing on TV, nothing to wear, nothing ‘good’ to eat, it’s too hot outside, it’s cold, too windy, why is it raining today, how come that person did that, I want this, I’m sad because I don’t have THAT, and I wanted THAT..and I didn’t GET THAT! BOO HOO. The problem today is that everyone wants too much. Nothing is ever enough. Bigger, better, louder, faster, more, more, gimme more! And, the last time I checked..as a society, we are more miserable than ever. There are more heart attacks, there is more depression, there is more debt, there is more misery than ever before. And yet, some of the happiest people I meet, and I’m sure you know what I mean, are often the one’s who seem to have very little. They don’t NEED the stuff. The THINGS. The material possessions that seems to fill up our houses, but never seems to fill up our hearts. I consider myslef one of the lucky ones. I learned a long time ago that having THINGS doesn’t mean anything. People don’t like you more if you have more. If they do, those aren’t real friends. What impresses people? Sincerity, trust, honesty, being a good listener, empathy and love. Not what they have. We are not what we have. Gratitude plays a big role in the way we function in this thing called life. My mom has always told me to be thankful for what I already have…and not what I don’t have. And to be happy with what ‘is’ and not focus on what ‘isn’t’. She told me a story…she was going to visit a woman in the hospital who was very ill. As she made her way through the hospital parking lot, it was clear, there were no spots. It was frustrating! She would have to park down the street. It was also raining. So now the far walk to the hospital would be a wet one. ugggh.
When she finally found a spot she remembered what she had been telling me about gratitude. Instead of being angry that she could not park close to the hospital, she had gratitude for being able to own a car, and have a job to pay for it. Instead of cursing the rain, she realized that she was thankful to be able to be outside and be alive and feel the rain as her poor friend lay there inside on a hospital bed. If you are able to read this on a computer, that’s enough to be thankful for, some people don’t have the luxury. Next time you’re mad in line at the grocery store, mad about how you shouldn’t have to be in a line this long, think about how lucky you are to be in a store at all, where you can pick your own food…plus you can read a magazine for free. (just thought I’d lighten things up there at the end…with the magazine comment…)
Cheers to all of my blog friends..punch in ‘gratitude’ for 1000 points. xokerr

Oh great, my pants are too tight. They weren’t tight LAST week! What happened? Don’t you hate the way our weight, as women, goes up and down! It drives me batty! One day I’ll be able to wear a skirt that I bought 4 years ago..BEFORE the baby, and the next time, I’m muffin topping all over the place! Remember the days that we could eat anything we wanted and not gain a pound? Chocolates for dinner, and entire meal made out of cheese, cookies for breakfast…it didn’t matter! The pants still fit. Now,it takes planning. ‘ Hmmm, let’s see..it’s Thursday, I have that party coming up NEXT Friday, SO..if I cut back on dairy all weekend and give up toast, I may be able to get that zipper up on that skirt that seemed to fit me 3 weeks ago…that’s before I gained the 2 pounds the previous week from the ‘All you can eat Bufffet for the the going away lunch for that co-worker that I barely knew anyway, but hey, it was a free lunch. ‘
I am a big believer in stretchy clothes. They can’t be too stretchy though, or you never KNOW if you had one too many Honey Cruller’s. Just stretchy enough so that your weight can yo-yo comfortably. A couple pounds up or down..and you can still breathe. Just know, that if you start wearing sweatpants day in and day out, when the time comes to put on a pair of Jeans..you might be in a bit of shock. There’s nothing worse than wearing your new yoga pants for the entire week of the Christmas holidays, only to discover that when you have to put on actual clothes, You feel like a stuffed sausage. UGH! I know this because, it happens to me! All. The. Time. Punch in ‘sausage’ for 1000 points. But oh well! So, I guess there is no moral to this blog. Just, that, we should be easier on ourselves. We’re women, we fluctuate, we work hard, we like stretchy pants..and we often enjoy cookies for breakfast. And that’s OK.
Cheers ladies! And Men too!
xo kerr

Do you ever have those days where you just can’t seem to turn your brain off. Or on. I meant on! See, like right there. It’s like something just isn’t connecting. You can’t form sentences. Your thoughts jump around from one thing to the next, no focus, you’re all over the place, look, a tree, everything is confusing and nothing makes sense. A person will talk straight at you, and you won’t have heard a word they’ve said. But you actually can’t even recall what was distracting you…you were just gone. Or how about when you’re driving and you actually go on auto-pilot. You’ll be driving and driving around town, thinking of random things. Making all of the turns and stops and signalling. And then for some reason, you ‘ wake up’. And you realize, that you have no recollection of driving! Where was I all that time? How did I manage to not flatten someone? Or myself for that matter. Punch TREE for 1000 points. Or the keys. Where are my keys? Where are my sunglesses? Where did they go? This is crazy! I JUST had them. Great. Now I have to re-trace my steps. Where are they…no..seriously…. I JUST had them. Did they evaporate? Man…honestly, I must be a lunatic…because HOW can I lose my sunglasses AND my keys at the same.!!!!!!!..Oh. They’re on my head. Keys..in my hand. Woah. Woah. Is that how you spell it? W –O- A- H? It looks weird. Same with the word ‘ Keys’. Hmmm…sometimes the spelling of words even looks wrong. Simple words. The other day, I was convinced that ‘IF’ was a strange word. What happens to us? Why are some days so clear and others like a cloudy haze. Some days we can convey what we want to say easily…other days it’s as though we have no grasp of language all together. What happens? Does a switch go off? Does something fizzle? Is it chemical? Who can we blame?
I know. Let’s blame the kids.

xo kerr

Everything is so busy these days. Even people who are retired seem busy. My parents are both technically retired, but now they have their OWN businesses and seem to have less time than ever! (minus the 6 week cruises they sometimes take)
But life is like that. We comlpain when we don’t have enough time, and we complain when there’s nothing to do. But for the most part, especially me in my mid-thirties (cough, cough) life is just BUSY. It’s like a game of TETRIS most of the time eh?
“oh…ok…so TODAY, I have to make a lunch for her daycare tomorrow, wash part of my clothes and part of her clothes and maybe ONE of his shirts, because I don’t have time to do three loads…just the one…OK, THEN..oh right..we said we’re having fish today for supper, you know, to be healthy…yeah..uh…boy…guess I’d better actually buy some. Which means, I have to go to the store..oh man, why didn’t I fill the car up? Oh no, and where’s the rest of the toilet paper? It’s GONE? I JUST bought that? Now how am I gonna blow my nose! What’s this letter? Oh yeah, that membership fee for that good cause I signed up for…they take it out of my credit card? Each month? Well..we’ll see how long I can afford to be a philanthropist for…..ok, so, where was I? Hello? Yes, this is SHE. Sure, tell me about why I should vote for you and NO, I have nothing else goin’ on at this very moment! AHHHHHHHHHH!”
It never ends right? But, that’s life. That’s why we’re here. You have to work, to pay the bills, to raise the kids, to get food on the table. We all have to open mail, scrub the floor sometimes, take out horrible smelling garbage, wipe their noses, clean the remote control because there is spaghetti sauce on it from 2 weeks ago…and on and on. BUT, it’s these things that make the moments of serenity so sweet. When all of the dishes are done, and he’s back outside working in the garage, and she’s asleep. And it’s quiet. Ssssshhhhh. It’s that moment. It’s THAT moment, that is heaven.

Similar to that feeling of quietness…is when you are FINALLY alone in a bathroom stall….and no one at work knows where you are. But that’s just me.
cheers, xo kerr
ps…TETRIS is the magic word today. (600 points!)

I still pinch myself everyday. (not literally, I bruise really easy) It’s been a whole year already of doing the morning show! Where did the time go? It seems like only yesterday that I got the call that I had to come in the NEXT morning. I remember picking up my messages. “Uhhhhh, Kerri, do you think you can start, like, tomorrow?” ‘”Sure!” I said. Then quickly remembered…that I had a 9 month old! Oh my goodness. “What time do I have to get up? When? That early eh…” It was perfect! At the time I had been getting up at all hours of the night anyway! Why not make it a career! Starting any new job is nerve racking, right? Filling in for somebody who people loved and adored was MORE nerve racking!
I had big shoes to fill! Big, giant, oversized shoes. But, all I could do was give it all I had. This was my dream job…right here, right NOW! I remember when the mic went on for the first time. I thought, Oh MAN….WHAT AM I DOING!!!??? What have I got myself into!!?? I was terrified. TERRIFIED! Thank goodness he was patient and had a sense of humour….those early days would have been too scary. And as the days rolled on and the months have passed, I am finally starting to figure things out on this thing we like to call ‘the Morning Show’. I want to tell you, that I am so grateful to you for being so patient, and for giving me a chance. Thank you for allowing me into your life. I wish I could get to know each and every one of you! I am a little quirky, a little goofy and you know now that I am terrible at anything sports related. But, thanks for liking me anyway! And if you don’t, I usually hear about it! lol! So thank you, thank you , thank you for letting me become your friend! ps. Francois and Alexandra say hi and they’re right here and they’re bugging me to get off the computer because she needs a bath and he can’t find the cheese we bought the other day to make a sandwich for tomorrow’s lunch. (and we have a strict budget, so there will be NO buying of lunches…so I REALLY have to go find that cheese) punch in CHEESE for 1000 points.
Much Love and here’s to the future!!! xo kerr

Where do squirrels put all of those nuts? Do you ever wonder? The other day I was watching one and he really looked like he had a PLAN. I read once that squirrels can hide up to 3000 nuts, in different places and come winter, they can find each and every one of them. With NO MAP! This is truly amazing to me. Especially because the snow covers all of the spots where the nuts have been placed! How do they do this? Wouldn’t it be neat if what we knew about squirrels was just all wrong? As it stands, we think that they just make noises, rub their little hands together, put nuts in their cheeks and look cute. Ok, well, maybe they do a bit more than that but that’s pretty much what we see from squirrels. But maybe they actually DO have little whiteboards and tiny erasable markers keeping track of all of the nuts. Or giant wall drawings of the neighbourhood with pushpins. We think they just go home to their hole in the tree or underneath the porch. But maybe they are doing other things. Like coming up more efficient ways to gather nuts. Maybe they are busy inventing things like cheek extensions so that they can stuff MORE in. Or maybe I am just crazy and I have way too much time on my hands to think about this. Join me next blog, when I come down to earth. NUTS for 500 points. Nuts. That’s what I am.

Oh the guilt. I never thought it would happen to me! Has it happened to you? This guilt ‘they’ kept talking about when you became a mother. But what is it? It’s hard to describe. If anyone ask’s exactly WHAT you are feeling guilty about, often the answer is very vague. Or it’s irrational and doesn’t make much sense. Like, ” I feel guilty because I have to work”. OR,” I feel guilty because I am tired”. The question is WHY do we feel bad about it? Really? We have to work? AND we’re tired sometimes? That’s crazy! Isn’t there a vitamin to cure all this? But this guilt just happens. It’s almost as though we are comparing ourselves to SUPER MOM. She can do it ALL!!! She wakes up smiling, makes the children a delicious well-blanced breakfast that varies depending on the day of the week! (check the white-board in the kitchen) Sends them off to school with their homework completed along with perfectly peanut-free snacks. Then off to work…but wait, first some weight-busting exercises to maintain the shapely silhouette that brings home the bacon! Which will be wrapped around the scallops for dinner that very night, which everyone will enjoy, because HER children are NOT PICKY EATERS!!! Then, after everyone has pitched in with supper-clean up, (and yes, 4 year olds CAN and WILL empty the dishwasher without breaking anything), SUPER MOM still has tons of energy, so it’s time to take the kids to the park and play for a good hour or more! (to ensure the kids sleep well!) No TV in sight tonight! No way! it’s bathtime, then snacktime (apple slices) then storytime, then bed time! Whew! 8pm? Wow! Super mom, can’t believe the day is almost over! Time to catch up on work e-mails, family phonecalls, and don’t forget, it’s BRING-A-MUFFIN-TO-SCHOOL-DAY tomorrow, better get started on those right now! punch in GUILT for 500 points.
Working too much, having the occasional nap, sending them to daycare, letting the kids watch too much TV, giving in to their picking eating habits, skipping giving them a bath because YOU’RE too tired…….these things cause us guilt. But they shouldn’t. Being a parent is wonderful and rewarding and incredible. It’s also exhausting. And it’s ok to let things go. Life is too short. Let the dust bunnies grow and the bed go un-made sometimes. Let’s work on being perfectly imperfect.
Gotta go have a nap now,
xo kerr

What sounds do you like? The sound of noisy family gatherings? Or the sound of silence? How about the leaves rustling in the wind? What really relaxes me, are sounds. Are you like this? Do certain sounds relax you to the point of nearly falling asleep on the spot? It happens to me all the time.
My favourite sounds are: Someone else turning the pages of a book they’re reading. Someone chewing gum and cracking it. Tissue paper being being separated to wrap something in a quiet store. The sound of scissors and fabric being cut on a table. Someone typing quietly in another room. Whispering. Someone flossing their teeth. (that’s a strange one) Somebody wrapping a present. The store clerk folding the new things I bought and then putting them in a new plasticky bag. My baby sleeping. The sound of water in the bath tub. Pencil on paper. On cooking shows, when they stir stuff like batter, or salmon tar tar. I am not sure why all of these sounds make my eyes close and my body go limp, but they do. What sounds relax you? Punch in the word DAMA for 750 points. How does THAT sound?
cheers, kerr

Rules. They are everywhere. Rules of the road, rules for marriage, rules at work. You have rules when playing a game, and rules when you are out with your friends. When you go to school, you have to follow the rules. No running in the hallway, no paper airplanes, not too much make-up. (although, it seems I might have ignored that one for a few months in grade 10. It was a phase) There are rules when you are in a public washroom. You have to let the person who has to go the WORST, FIRST. Ok, I made that one up. But I think that makes sense, no? Rules at the drive-thru…have your money ready. At the bank, if you are using a teller, you have to get in that line-up. The bank line-up is funny. There’s always that one person that is in a huge rush and they are going crazy! Sighing, fidgeting, saying stuff like..”ahh, c’mon” under their breath. If you are in the ATM line-up, you must pick a line…and stick to it. If the guy in front of you is slow, too bad. You can’t line change. And on no terms do you a) stand too close behind the person at the machine However, come on, we’ve all had to grab an envelope..and that feels awkward because you almost have to tell the person at the machine through body language that you are definitely NOT trying to see their password. More rules! Take your shoes off when entering someone’s house, put the seat down, put your used gum in a Kleenex (is that just me?) Don’t talk too close, don’t talk too loud, stand to the right on escalators, don’t run with scissors, don’t eat yellow snow. Now THAT one is a real no no. 500 points when you punch in YELLOW.Don’t ask a woman when she is due unless you know for sure!
So then WHY IS IT….that shopping mall and grocery store parking lots have NO RULES? Those things are one BIG FREE FOR ALL! Am I right? Everyone is doing whatever and going wherever they want. Driving sideways over empty parking spots, speeding, not signaling, parking in spots reserved for people with kids! ( we know you HAVE kids…too bad they’re 24 and 30!)
I laugh, because we have to follow the road rules so carefully on streets, what happens when we drive on to a parking lot? All rules are off man! “I’m gettin’ me a parkin’ spot! WOOOO HOOOO!”
And then once inside the store? CART CHAOS. But that’s a WHOLE ‘nother blog.
Have a great day!
Kerr

Along time ago, I thought it would be a good idea to take dentistry in to my own hands. It started when I was schlepping peel and eat shrimp in Toronto as a caterer. I had had a few issues with my back molars for a while. I grinded my teeth at night because of the anxiety of living in a city where the only thing I could afford to eat was food I got for free, from catering. So finally one day, mid shift, as I was passing the cold spring rolls out to a bunch of bankers at an after work booz-a-roo, half of my molar came out. ( I actually almost swallowed it. I thought it was a nut) NOW what do I do? I can’t afford a dentist! I can barely afford to get home tonight! So, I had to trouble shoot. (punch in MOLAR for 500 points) So I ran to the nearest pharmacy for help. Up and down the aisles I went…..and then POOF! I found it! A real-live tooth patch kit! And it was only 8 bucks! Sold, to the fool dressed like a penguin with shrimp sauce on her sleeve! It was easy too, all I had to do was shove this cement like paste into the hole in the tooth and wait for it to harden and then, bang, instant new tooth! This stuff was genius! The was one problem. It was only a TEMPORARY fix. It was meant to basically band-aid a tooth situation, for a maximum of…..1 day. ONE DAY! No way man! “I’m keepin’ this stuff in there for as long as it will hold! And when I need to…I’ll just buy more of this stuff!! I’ll buy it all! I’m my OWN dentist! This is incredible!” No word of a lie, I kept on going with the tooth patch kit for about 6 months. But, all good things must come to an end. And eventually one day, after months of headaches, jaw pain, and intense tooth pain I had to be rushed in for emergency dental surgery at the hospital. It was ALL infected and I could no longer eat or sleep. The dentist had to yank the ENTIRE tooth out from the root! He actually had to put one foot on the chair to stabilize him, the tooth was so tough to get out! But, boy, did it feel better after that! And now I have an empty hole in the back. As a reminder, to never practice home dentistry again.
cheers everyone. and take care of your teeth.
kerr