Along time ago, I thought it would be a good idea to take dentistry in to my own hands. It started when I was schlepping peel and eat shrimp in Toronto as a caterer. I had had a few issues with my back molars for a while. I grinded my teeth at night because of the anxiety of living in a city where the only thing I could afford to eat was food I got for free, from catering. So finally one day, mid shift, as I was passing the cold spring rolls out to a bunch of bankers at an after work booz-a-roo, half of my molar came out. ( I actually almost swallowed it. I thought it was a nut) NOW what do I do? I can’t afford a dentist! I can barely afford to get home tonight! So, I had to trouble shoot. (punch in MOLAR for 500 points) So I ran to the nearest pharmacy for help. Up and down the aisles I went…..and then POOF! I found it! A real-live tooth patch kit! And it was only 8 bucks! Sold, to the fool dressed like a penguin with shrimp sauce on her sleeve! It was easy too, all I had to do was shove this cement like paste into the hole in the tooth and wait for it to harden and then, bang, instant new tooth! This stuff was genius! The was one problem. It was only a TEMPORARY fix. It was meant to basically band-aid a tooth situation, for a maximum of…..1 day. ONE DAY! No way man! “I’m keepin’ this stuff in there for as long as it will hold! And when I need to…I’ll just buy more of this stuff!! I’ll buy it all! I’m my OWN dentist! This is incredible!” No word of a lie, I kept on going with the tooth patch kit for about 6 months. But, all good things must come to an end. And eventually one day, after months of headaches, jaw pain, and intense tooth pain I had to be rushed in for emergency dental surgery at the hospital. It was ALL infected and I could no longer eat or sleep. The dentist had to yank the ENTIRE tooth out from the root! He actually had to put one foot on the chair to stabilize him, the tooth was so tough to get out! But, boy, did it feel better after that! And now I have an empty hole in the back. As a reminder, to never practice home dentistry again.
cheers everyone. and take care of your teeth.