Archive for May, 2011
Monday, May 30th, 2011
When the yoga pants craze started a few years ago, I thought it would only last a couple of seasons! How much YOGA can people do? At the time, I hadn’t hopped onto the yoga pants train, I just thought everybody was doing more of it…and wearing their gear out to do groceries. Of course we all know now, that you do you not have to DO yoga to wear the clothes. (unlike kick-boxing. that would be weird if you wore the gear to go to the mall)
At the time, I didn’t see what the big deal was with the whole fad! AND THEN I GOT A PAIR OF YOGA PANTS. Did this happen to you too? You got a pair, or bought a pair, or borrowed a pair, and then have not taken them off since? (figuratively, of course)
Once I discovered that I could REPLACE all other forms of pants with black yoga pants…woah..I was happy! What used to be a decent shirt and jeans…was now a decent shirt and yoga pants! Yoga pants with everything! Breakfast date, yoga pants. Lunch meeting, yoga pants. Cocktail party, yoga pants. No rules!
Did I even GO to yoga? NO WAY! Didn’t have to! I could just wear the pants!
One problem. Yoga pants are stretchy. As in, they stretch. Also known as, they give. They forgive. They feel the SAME everyday. In other words, you can’t TELL that you have gained a pound! I come to my point.
There came a moment in time where, unfortunately, I had to put on REAL pants. NO, I was told, I could NOT wear yoga pants to my brothers graduation. So, into my closet I went. Alllllll the way to the back, where I kept my more formal, less stretchy stuff. I put one leg in, then the other, proceeded to try and get them over my hips. AHHHHHHHHHH!
Did I gain weight? What? No Way!! Impossible! My yoga pants feel GREAT! These feel awful!
Yep. I sure had. And I couldn’t even tell you what piece of cake had tipped the scale…because I had no gauge! It’s always comfy in the yoga’s! So that was that. I decided that you can actually get addicted to the way you feel in yoga pants, because they always fit perfect. Darn it!
So my advice. Put on your jeans once and a while. Yoga pants are great, but you should try and be active in them. Maybe, even try yoga! lol! 300 points for you if you punch in yogapants! xo kerr
Tuesday, May 24th, 2011
Why is it that women get bloated and men do not? I just don’t get it. Sometimes, we get so bloated that we don’t even want to go out anywhere. Am I right ladies? SOMETIMES…I would rather just stay home in sweats, than go out if I have to wear jeans. And there is more than just one reason for being bloated in us gals. First reason, is obvious. I’ll give you a hint, it happens every month. Is that a big enough hint? We could be bloated for up to a week before and after with that one. So that leaves us with two weeks to be bloat free. Not so fast. I don’t know about you, but I can get bloated if I eat too much salt. Especially too much popcorn. The salt and the fibre in it….really puffs me up. Too much water will make me bloated. Not enough water, bloated. Travelling on a plane, bloated. Puffy feet and hands. You too? Too much sleep? Bloated and puffy. Too many carbs…bloated, bloated, bloated. When am I not? Ahhhh. OK. If I don’t eat salt for 3 days, drink 4 litres of water a day, just eat tuna or chicken, and go to 3 hot yoga classes…then I won’t be bloated. Other than that, I’m pretty much always one salt shake away from blowing my button off my pants. You never hear guys saying, “I don’t feel like going out honey, I feel bloated” or ” I just wish I didn’t feel so puffy. Babe, do I look puffy in this Jersey? Do you think the guys will think I look puffy? Babe? Are you even listening?” Guys don’t do that.
However, I guess there are bigger problems in the world than feeling bloated. I’ll go think about them now, over a bowl of popcorn. Punch in POPCORN for 400 reward points!
Thursday, May 19th, 2011
Feelin’ hot hot hot!!!!!! Ok, so not SO hot. What is WITH the summer cold? It seems as soon as the mercury rises, the sun is shining, the flowers are blooming…my nose is running and I am reaching for the Dayquil, the Nyquil…one of the ‘Quil’s, and I have a cold. There’s nothing worse than KNOWING the patios are packed, the parks are rammed, and the ice cream joint has a line-up..and YOU are at home with the blinds closed and a box of kleenex. But, this seems to happen all the time. It’s the SUMMER COLD. It’s funny how we have to describe this cold as being ‘different’ than any other cold. We don’t say ‘spring cold’, or ‘fall cold’. And we NEVER say, “Sorry, I can’t make it tonight guys, I have a WINTER cold”. A cold, is a cold, is a cold. But in the summertime? We are usually in denial at first right? It starts with, ‘ugh…I think I have allergies. I am sooo tired. I think the pollen and seeds from the trees is getting me really tired…or maybe it’s that dust from the …uh..the cars…the dusty cars driving by..yeah, that’s probably it.’ People ask, ” Do you have a cold? ” “ME? No way man, just some bad allergies, yup…a whole pile of ‘em” AND THEN FINALLY, you admit to yourself privately in the bathroom, as you look in the mirror and shiver and wipe your drippy nose and eyes, “yeah…this is a cold. Even worse, this is a SUMMER COLD!” But after it’s gone, you’re happy, and you just pitty the poor co-worker that you have passed it off too.
Punch in SUMMERCOLD for 200 reward points!
Stay healthy Winnipeg! – xo kerr
Monday, May 16th, 2011
YAY! Summer is here! OH NO. Now I have to shave my legs. Ladies, you know what I mean. We can go all winter long, with minimal maintenance. Not that we DON’T shave during the cold months, but we certainly have an excuse NOT to. Well why would we? It’s cold, it’s dark, and we wear a lot more pants! But now that the warm weather has arrived, the pressure is on to get the gams lookin’ good again. And it’s not JUST the legs……it everything. And it’s a LOT of work. I wish there was a machine, that you could just get into and it would just like, blow off all of your hair that you don’t want. You could customize it.So you could pick how much hair you want gone and where you want it gone from…
‘hmmmm, let’s see, I’ll take a bit on the eyebrows, especially in between them, I’ll pick 3/4 on both legs, the pits and that weird patch on the left arm’. All in one BLAST! Like a spray tan! That would be great. AND, you would get a free coffee. Ahhh. To live in a perfect world. Instead I will have to buy one of those insanely cumbersome sugaring kits. The one where you have to heat it in the microwave, stir, then let it cool a bit..so that you don’t get a third degree burn when you apply it to your body with a stick. Yeah. That’s not messy. AND THEN, once you’re finished you have to do the big clean up! All of the little pieces of fabric with sticky stuff all over it…and then you have to clean the popsicle stick and then just TRY and get the lid back on the tub of sugary stuff! Oh well. At least most of us gals don’t have to worry about chest hair.
Punch in STICKY for 200 reward points!!!
Thursday, May 12th, 2011
I love to shop! I love to drink water! The problem is, put the two of those together and it can only mean one thing. A LOT OF RUNNING AROUND TO FIND A BATHROOM. And you know how it is, bathrooms in the mall are sometimes hard to find.
(correction: always hard to find) But, shopping wins I guess. I am a bargain shopper, which means I buy cheap stuff, but lots of it. So on any given shopping trip I am usually lugging around plenty of bags, a purse, a water and maybe the occasional taco when I’m hungry.
Yeah, try and get all of THAT in a stall when you have to go! You know what I mean. We’ve all struggled. First, do I bring all of this IN with me??? Ok, so I have managed to squeeze through, into the tiny bathroom stall. Now, wait, are there any hooks in here? Oh. Just the one eh. All right, well, they said on the TODAY show that purses should never go on the floor in public washrooms…so, it will get a hook..and…uh…a few of the bags. Hmmm. Oh great, the door doesn’t lock. Well, I guess I can keep it shut with my bag..hmmm. Nope. The plastic bag is too soft…not doin’ anything. I’ll just stick my foot out a bit and then people will just KNOW I’m in here. All right, I’ll cover the seat with that toilet -seat -tissue -thing that is nearly impossible to use because it always rips and ends up half in the toilet. Ok, forget it. I’ll just use toilet paper. Oh no. It’s a GIANT roll that has just been replaced…and it’s so big that it barely turns in the dispenser! It just rips with each pull. hmmmm. Wait, I have a napkin in my purse! Which is way up high. Oh well.
There is no room, the toilet paper rips, I may or may not be covered in germs, and now my purse is on the floor because I had to use an old Taco Time napkin from last week as toilet paper. But Wow. Look at all of my new cheap clothes! I’m gonna look great!
200 reward points for you! Punch in STALLS
Monday, May 9th, 2011
Do you ever notice sometimes when you start cleaning….you can’t stop? The more you clean, the more you realize how dirty everything has become. This happened to me this past weekend. Alexandra was at my mom’s, so naturally, when I have some free time, I like to get on all fours and scrub the floors. (hey, that rhymes) It started off with pulling out the vacuum. I though I would just do the rug and be done with it….not so fast. If you LIFT the actual rug up, you’ll notice dust…and sand….and pennies….and bobby pins. So that became the NEW project, even before I plugged the vaccuum in…I was dragging the carpet out outside and beating the heck out of it. And when you remove a giant capret, it opens up a whole new world, a whole new level of dirt. It’s the dust we all ignore. The stuff behind things..and IN things. So now I have out the duster cloth and the vinegar/water spray and the polishy stuff for the wood, and the Murphy’s Soap….it’s all out. I am dusting the book shelf now…but wait, what about BEHIND the books. BOOOOM!!!!! Gaint dust balls blow out at me. Ok, get those now. And what about on top of the high shelving units…POW!!!!! More giant clouds of dust! Where is this stuff COMING FROM??? I am a VIRGO…..we’re clean freaks!!! (aren’t we?)
AND WHAT ABOUT THE BATHROOM? (I clean it once a week) Sink, mirror, toilet, tub…sweep. OH BOY. But I haven’t gone behind the toilet or in the corners for a while…..oh no….and I HATE…I mean really DO NOT LIKE hair. On the head, hair is awesome. Off the head….it is gross. Am I right? Is this just me? How many times have you had to sweep up or pick up your OWN hair from the sink, or the tub, or the floor and it has made you kinda grossed out? ESPECIALLY if it’s wet. WORSE if it’s someone else’s, even if you DO love them. Hair becomes it’s own thing off the body. Yuck! All right, enough is enough. I have gone completely off track here. The point is that one thing lead to another, and before you know it I had cleaned my place from top to bottom. I just meant to VACCUUM. 200 reward points for you if you punch in VACCUUM.
Friday, May 6th, 2011
Flowery, billowy and flared. These are the KEY words to think of when you are buying your new spring wardrobe. Hmmmmmm. That’s what they are telling us anyway! Isn’t it funny how the people at the (supposed) TOP of the fashion world TELL us what to wear!!! For a while now, the 80′s have been really making a comeback. Laura Ashley type prints on bags and shoes, layered mini skirts, and now, bright neon cut-off shirts that say things like , HAPPY, and SMILE on them. WOAH. I LIVED through the 80′s, not sure if I want to look like I am in a WHAM video, again. That said, I am liking the LESS clingy, more BAGGY tops. Why? Uhmm, because I had a baby and now my stomach, well, looks like I had a baby. Right moms? We can WORK with this style!!!!
Is it IN, or is it OUT? This is always the question! Fashion wise, I TRY and keep up, but it’s almost impossible. So, let me get this straight, the 60′s are not in, the 70′s ARE in, the 90′s are definitely not in( unless it’s VERY early 90′s), but the 80′s are bigger than ever. Is the new black , pink flowers??? Or is that the new grey?
Hats are in, but only if they are big and floppy like Fleetwood Mac would wear, not like Madonna would wear, unless you mean Madonna from the early 80′s with the lace gloves, not the Madonna from the ‘Like a Prayer’ days. I think everyone should just rock a pair of pyjama bottoms and call it a day. 200 reward points for you! PUNCH IN : FASHION
Monday, May 2nd, 2011
I am one of those people that no mattter how many times I get told…….I STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT ‘OFFSIDE’ is. I know it has something to do with the blue line. And skating. And hockey. Honestly, I know it’s our national sport, and I KNOW it is loved and played, and WORSHIPPED all over the country. I DARE NOT say anything bad about it. It doesn’t mean I get it. I AM that girl who is always up for going to watch the game with friends. ‘Yeah, sure, count me in!! Let’s go get some nachos and watch the ‘ol hockey game tonight!!!!!!’ ‘Wait, who’s playing? Oh yeah? Those are the blue guys right? NO? Oh. Oh RIGHT…those are the ones with the little fish on their hockey top. Jersey I guess you call it. Oh NICE!! What about Gretzky? What’s he up to these days? Haven’t seen him play lately. Right. He’s been done a while. Well, the nachos are here. I know about nachos at least. mmmm.’
I am utterly blown away by the announcers on TV who call the game!!! How do they know who’s doing what???? I can barely see the puck half the time!!! They are so quick, saying the players names and where the puck is…and all of the little terms they use. Spinnerama? I can just IMAGINE if they got me to call a game. People would turn the volume down…or change
the channel! IE: ” and buddy there with the skates on …passes the puck, I think to the other guy, also skating on the ice…oh, wait, ok, that wasn’t the puck…oh…ok…where’s the puck….oh yeah…k, over in the corner number 23…no wait , that’s an 8, so,#28 is skating backwards now, passes the puck to , ooops, the wrong guy…I think, not sure, but it looks like they are mad now. Skating, skating, on the ice…all of them skating….numbers on their backs…yay..and the puck went in!! I’m not sure but everybody in the arena is cheering so it must’ve gone in!!!”
Hockey will confuse me forever. But there is something about that makes me so happy! The sound of the crowd cheering, the excitement everybody feels when they are watching it!!! But, for me, let’s be serious, it’s the nachos.
200 reward points for you! punch in NACHOS